


Everlasting Sorrow

by felix_8felicis



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Anxiety Attacks, Blood, BoyStory - Freeform, Day6 - Freeform, Depression, Dissociation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fae & Fairies, Fire, GOT7 - Freeform, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Gun Violence, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Torture, JYPnation, Minor Character Death, Nightmares, Pack Feels, Panic Attacks, Phobias, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Separation Anxiety, Sign Language, Slavery, Suicide Attempt, Twice - Freeform, Vampires, Werewolves, Wizards, itzy - Freeform, mention of overdose, selective mutism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-27
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-04-11 23:42:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 26
Words: 125,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21586576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/felix_8felicis/pseuds/felix_8felicis
Summary: “Hyung? Channi Hyung?” Felix calls softly and affectionately, his accent dripping from each syllable he pronounces with a careful mind.Chan lifts his head, his canins removing from the blood bag he was numbing at mindlessly, feet dug unto the sand. He stares at Felix’s wings curiously, each time seeming to cast his eyes upon them like the first. Felix, is the only one still able to catch Chan’s attention at first call of the older’s name.“Why? Why did you do that?” Felix has asked the question everyday, getting no whatsoever response each time. Yet, every morning, when the eight of them sit on porch, naked feet in the sand and sea’s breeze in their hair, he bolds to ask again.“For you” Chan says, in a sudden illumination of lucidity sparkling in his eyes. He glances at the seven boys sitting on the ground around him. “If it’s for you, I can live in an everlasting sorrow.”
Relationships: Bang Chan & Everyone, No Romantic Relationship(s), Platonic Relationship(s)
Comments: 189
Kudos: 251





	1. The Bloody Trial

Red eyes. Pure bloody ones. Deep, fixing, emotionless.

The wind was roaring and loudly whistling, tearing and pulling at their indifferent bodies. The night was engulfing, screaming : blood and terror feeding the darkness.

"_Vampires_ are not immortal beings. No supernatural creature is, contrary to popular belief. Such a thing is just a fairytale." The wind blew harder. The freezing breathe of air felt furious and murderous as another wave of wind violently wheezed beside their ears.

"The average death rate of Vampires is 50 years old. Only powerful pure blood reach and go beyond that. 20% of us die by lack of blood, 30% have too weak bodies to support the transformation, and 50% are brutally murdered."

Hwang Hyunjin snickered, eyebrows slightly frowned. His noble features distorted under the disbelief. "Weak bodies? As much as 30%? I wouldn't call new-borns vampires _weak_." His eyes torn away from the dark street bellow him, he shifted his attention to his mentor.

The older was standing close to the edge of the roof. The moonlight was weakly illuminating him, like if she too, was frightened by him. His bleached hair made a violent contrast with his all black clothes. His skin, too white to be mistaken with any other supernatural creatures', was almost shining in the darkness. His eyes, were glued to the street bellow them, red globes following something. Or someone. Hyunjin was so focused on his posture and on the terrifying aura he was giving off in that precise moment that he barely caught on the small nod the older made.

"After all, Vamps are only living corps, forced to drink other's blood in order to force their body to survive with just that. We sleep, eat, and have a beating heart, you are aware of that." His bloodshot eyes slightly glanced back to glare at the younger. "Our heart propulse blood at a quicker and stronger rate, eager for every nutriment it can get to survive. That's why we go on a rampage when we don't have blood regularly. It's just survival instinct."

Hyunjin vaguely nodded unconsciously. His eyes drifting back to a certain street below. A dark form was moving.

"Why do we move so fast and where does all of our strength come from if our body is barely holding up?" A barely noticeable shift made him lift his eyes. _Bang Chan_ was now standing in a roof opposite him, on the other side of the street. Hyunjin flinched his knees before he quietly jumped, the sound of his clothes against the strong wind as he flew above the street was the only proof of his movement.

"Superior hearing, strength and the sharp fangs all comes with the 'supernatural being' package. It's something basic all supernatural creatures have. All clans have slightly heightened capacities. Like werewolves with their strength or fairies and their bond with nature"

Bang Chan crouched down, eyes sharpening. "Beside, why do you think the blood of other supernatural being is so appetizing?"

"Because we absorb a slim part of their powers" Hyunjin said, realization flashing through his eyes.

Chan nodded again "A very slim part indeed. But still there" he mumbled under his breathe.

Silence took reign of the night. It was several long minutes later when his cold voice resonated again.

"_Him_" his chin pointed to Hyunjin a man bellow them. He looked frightened to his corps as he frantically glanced around him, half hidden in a dark and dirty alley. "Tell me about him"

"Moon Jeong Seok. 47 years old. Born and raised in Busan." Hyunjin started, words flooding out of him like if he was reading out of a book "He savagely kidnapped and raped Kim Hyena, 15 years old the 5th April 1995. He moved to seoul the 9th October 1999 after he got turned. His killing only grew in violence and number after that. He attacked and almost sucked to death Lee Minrae, 27 years old the 17th July 2000. His next murder was a 5 years old boy by the name of Jung Hyunck. He rapped and killed two other after him, 7 years old Lee Gaera the 25 January 2015 and 10 years old Yang Taely the 18th May 2019. He was sentenced to death by the national justice department of Vampires. Jury decided that he will be executed during the monthly _Bloody Trial_ as the 177th sentenced to death inmate."

Chan nodded, satisfied. He turned his head toward him. He had his red blood eyes directly fixed to his. Hyunjin tried to swallow back the shiver who was threatening to run along his spine. He was looking at him for the first time in these nine past days.

And Hyunjin knew what he was about to say before he opened his mouth. He had learned those words by heart. Chan always said the same exact thing before each killing. During each _Bloody Trial. _

"Hwang Hyunjin. Always know about the life you're about to take. Their soul will forever be attached to yours. Don't forget, never flinch your eyes away from them until their last heartbeat, until they exhale their last breathe. And after that, never look back."

Hyunjin stare turned cold. He nodded, took a step backword, and let his body fall back unto the darkness of the street bellow.

_The wind whistled excitedly._


	2. That Han Jisung

If you asked about a boy named Han Jisung, anyone who knows him would tell you the exact same things, an exasperated frown on their face : he was _nothing_ _more_ than a loud, annoying, and troublesome orphan. He talked too much, joked around too much and was just _too much _on all aspect of his personality. Though all the things that made Han Jisung such an _annoying brat_, there was something about him even more exasperating than anything else :

_He was too much of a damn proud boy. _

There was no denying that. Han Jisung didn't flinch, didn't beg ,and would never, even if hell froze over, spill a single tear or let escape a fearful scream. He was an arrogant and confident young men. He snickered, glared and threw a few punches here and there. He was annoyingly beautiful, playful and slightly intimidating. Even with a half open and bloody lip, beaten up by stronger kids, and barely able to stand up. There was nothing that could possibly get to him.

That was, if you didn't really know him.

If you asked someone who _really_ knows Han Jisung, and that their name was either Bang Chan or Seo Changbin, you would hear about a totally different kid.

Because the real Jisung was _nothing_ _less_ than a ball of joy. A kid who was no less than their whole world. Yeah, he was_ a bit_ clumsy, _a_ _bit_ too scared of darkness, _a_ _bit_ too sensitive, and was also _a bit_ too clingy. But Hanni was as soft as the blanket he couldn't sleep without, he was kind and hated being alone. He was as bright as a sunshine and when he smiled, his lips made a heart shape.

And yeah, it may have been true that he was a tiny bit arrogant. And a lot more impatient than Han Jisung himself would like to admit.

"Can you stop pacing around? I'm trying to study." A heavy exasperated sigh escaped parted lips. The pen, previously dancing between soft fingers, fell on the paper filled desk.

"_Kim Seungmin_ : the snobest snob of this hell hole place. Studying at 2:23 in the morning. Even I expected more from you Seungmin-ah"

Another sigh, this time accompanied by the push of a chair. Seungmin removed his glasses, let them fall beside the abandoned pen, and started running both of his hands in his honey like hair. "I don't understand how you managed to finish this so quickly and _perfectly. It's impossible" _His voice broke, the palm of his hands tightly pressed against his eyes. "I'm going _crazy"_

It was Jisung's turn to sigh. A silence longer than what Seungmin thought Jisung was ever capable of followed. Curiosity took over and he lifted his head back up.

The second drawer from the bottom, third pile of papers to the left and right under his red cap, was a folder tightly closed. Jisung let escape a satisfied cheer as he pulled it out, running his fingers softly on the stack of papers.

"Before you say anything, no I'm not messy. I'm organized in my mess. It's totally different" He pulled a small pile of paper carefully out. "Here"

Seungmin frowned at the papers that were handed to him. "What's this?"

"My assignment. Duh."

The younger boy raised an eyebrow. He took the sheets from him, put back his glasses and started running his eyes on them. "I'm not copying your hard done work Jisung" his hands fell on his laps and his eyes flew back up.

"Bullshit. You perfectly can. And you will. And what? hard work? It took me no more than an hour, I didn't put in any 'hard work'. You on the other hand, have been killing yourself on this crap"

"Still-"

"I'm not promising you any good grade though. I just did what I thought was right. Add stuff here, remove some here, divide stuff there. Anyway" Seungmin watched him straighten his back and walk toward their shared room window, located right between their two beds. Jisung's words faded out with the sound of the whistling air. His eyes were lost on the close tree line, separating the forest from the institution's dorms.

Seungmin watched Jisung's hair fly furiously against the wind, slapping his face in the process.

He knew when Han Jisung closed his mouth longer than three second during a discussion, the said discussion was done. No need to argue any further.

He stared at the nit work sheet, and his mind quickly fell inside the lines and formulas. There was one more thing everyone knew about that one of a kind boy : he was a smart ass. A _genius_, and Kim Seungmin never exaggerated on anything.

\---

_Jisung_ squizzed his hands tightly. They needed to stop shaking so badly.

His eyes lost in the tree line, he fidgeted his phone between his fingers, the text messages screen forgotten open. The wind whistled louder and the trees violently bended under the pressure.

Han bit his lower lip, dragging it inside his mouth.

Changbin and Chan were supposed to be here 4 hours ago.

He glanced back down at his phone. He thought about sending another furiously worried impatient message to his hyungs but thought against it. He had already sent to many.

Without realizing, tears blurred the line of trees. What if Chan hyung wasn't that strong after all? What if all those sleepless nights finally got a toll on his strength? What if that _fucking asshole of a bitch _got his hyung killed because of his stupidity and weakness? What if Changbin was not answering because he was crying on his hyung's dead body? _Ohgosh_ what if-

"YAH! Han Jisung!" a yelled whisper made his body jump a few steps back. He whipped his eyes fervently, forcing his supernatural vision to make its way between the darkness of the night.

A small human figure was standing bellow his window, a black tail swinging left and right behind its back. "Yah, I've been calling your name for the past 10 minutes? Get out of that head of yours will you?"

Jisung's eyes widened. His fingers dug unto the palm of his hands, leaning on the window to look down. "Hyung!"

He took a deep breathe in, closed his eyes for a second, and when he opened them again, Changbin's eyes were centimeters away from his. "Hyung! DO YOU KNOW how MUCH I worried about you guys? Where's Chan hyung? Why are you alone? Why did you come this late?"

Changbin took a step back, a hand on his heart. "I TOLD you NOT to teleport like that again you always scare the crap out of me!" he glared at the younger and took a closer look. Han's eyes were wide open, staring at him like a squirrel caught in a trap. His lips and round cheeks were already turning red from the bitting cold. The large black shirt he knew belonged to Chan was hanging on his shoulders, covering what he knew was a slim and malnourished body. It looked like he wasn't feeling the freezing air making its way under his shirt. Changbin's heart was half envious half pitiful for the younger's ability to be so indifferent to physical pain.

He went back to reality when Jisung opened again his mouth, about to throw another fist of questions, eyes shaking and glancing around the darkness.

"Give me time to respond to your questions before asking me others will you?"

Jisung hugged himself with his arms, seeming to shrink unto himself. Changbin would have mistook it with him being cold if he didn't know any better. "W-where's Chan hyung?" he looked around him again, flinching closer to Changbin.

"Jisung-ah!" Both boys jolted in their place, their eyes flying up toward the sudden loud voice. "Would you like the red or the yellow scarf?"

Hung on Jisung's own window, Chan was looking down at them at the exact same place Jisung was barely seconds ago before he had teleported. "I know you will say yellow like you always do but thought I may ask. This red one would really sweet you"

"H-h-how did you GET THERE?"

Chan frowned his eyebrows, his eyes switching between the two scarfs in his hands. "Stop screaming Seungmin's focusing really hard" He disappeared again unto the room for a second longer before a familiar coat came flying down the window, right unto the youngest's face. "Put that and don't go out again in this cold clothed like that"

Changbin smirked, watching as Jisung pouted, removing the cloth from his face. They watched just as Chan jumped out of the window, smoothly and almost soundlessly lending beside them.

"Here" Chan wrapped the yellow scarf around Jisung, his hands caring and gentle "I know how much you care about this one"

Jisung slowly lifted his head, eyes glassy. His lips twitched downward and he watched as Chan's attention slowly climbed back to his face. He giggled softly, dimples on full display. "Why do you look so worried?" His rough hand gently brushed his left chubby cheek and Han's vision suddenly blurred.

"Oh no" Changbin softly whispered exasperated but Jisung was already hiccuping, tears streaming down his half covered face. "I-I was s-so so scared for you hyung. I- I thought you-you-"

Chan giggled softly, pulling him in a hug, his arms wrapping around his slim ribs. "Our hanni, you worried a lot didn't you?" he patted his back, Jisung trying to calm himself down on his shoulder.

"You know how much I **_hate _**those bloody damned Bloody Trial. And with that _walking asshole of burden_ on your hills, I was scared that he got you killed"

Chan giggled again, taking a step back "I need those '_bloody damned Bloody Trial_' in order to survive Hanni. It's a feast there really, you would be surprised"

Changbin crossed his arms, cursing the cold night "Yeah, a feast of supernatural serial killers. And that kid you have to babysit is slowing you down." his gaze turned sharp and dark, his eyebrows frowned.

"Don't say that, _Hyunjin's_ a nice kid. He's no older than Jisung and Seungmin. He's doing his best, we all are. I wish you guys could see that" Chan's smile turned sad and the silence hung above their heads for a too long second.

"Yeah, well, let's go discuss about that _spoiled brat of Hwang Hyunjin_ around a cup of hot chocolate" Jisung grabbed both Chan and Changbin's arms, linking them with his own and dragging them from the back of the building toward the main street.

"I want some marshmallows in mine. Lots of marshmallows" Changbin's excited high voice resonated around them, his tail impatiently swinging left and right.

Chan giggled and nodded, cheeks turning red from the cold he wasn't feeling no more.


	3. Extra Marshmallows with a Spoon of Honey

On the 8th street downtown, three turns to the right, two to the left, right between an old apothecary shop and a shady alley, was located an old coffee shop named _Sweven_.

It had existed for the longest time Chan could remember. Always occupied by the same old women, with the same kind smile who seemed to hold the secrets of the deep hidden world, with the same glassy blue eyes who looked like they had seen things that no one could dare speak of.She was an odd women for sure, and no one really knew which race of supernatural being she belonged too. But that didn't matter, her hot chocolate were the best around town. Mayhap around the whole country.

The shop opening hours were as odd as their owner. _Sweven_ opened its door from midnight sharp, up until the early hours of the morning. It was closed all day long. As strange as it might sound, none of its customers ever asked why. That was just the way it was.

The front of the old coffee shop was painted a dark blue, who may have been a vibrant one decades ago. The small metallic birds flying above the front door now were coated with dust and rust. Neitherless, they still happily sang when Changbin pushed the door open.

"I came so many times to this place that I'm starting to get annoyed of it" he grumbled, nose crunched.

Jisung took a deep breathe in, his lungs absorbing the familiar sent of the plants, of the hot chocolate, the sweets and of the cracking smell of burned wood under the fireplace. A content smile danced on his lips. "That's just you being you hyung, no one can get tired of this lovely coffee shop. You included"

The three of them synchronously walked toward the same place. The front desk was located right in front of the entrance. To their left, were comfortable looking chairs and tables. To their right, few stairs took to an elevated platform with similar furnitures, plus a dark red sofa in the far corner.

The two walls facing the street from the opposite side of the front desk were entirely glazed. Jisung threw himself in his usual spot, on the corner of the couch, his left shoulder pressed against the large glass. He sighed contently, his eyelid falling closed. He only heard and felt Chan sitting on the chair facing him. Changbin flipped his over, his arms and chin resting on the back of the chair, his legs on either side of it.

He glanced at Jisung on his left, and at Chan on his right, a smirk painting his lips. "It's on me tonight, take what your heart please gentlemen"

Jisung jumped awake, eyes wide like two globes. "Really??? Really hyung? You're not gonna change your mind are you?"

Changbin grinned "I am not, dumbass. You need to grow up, eat a lot"

Chan's familiar laugh resonated in the empty and silent coffee, suddenly halting to a stop when his eyes fixed on someone behind Changbin "Grandma, hi" his smile flew back to his lips.

The old women smiled back, a plate who held three hot chocolate in her hands. "No sugar and only two marshmallows for Chan's" she put the first hot chocolate in Chan's open palms "Just the right amount of sugar coated marshmallows in Hanni's" his eyes glittered as they followed the red cup "Extra marshmallows with a spoon of honey in Changbinni's" The now empty plate hugged her chest as she disposed of the last cup.

"GRAMS! Binni said he'll pay today! Can I have a slice of cheese cake too?" Jisung shouted, eyes never loosing its kid like glitters.

"Of course my little fairy." she ruffled his hair "Anything else for the two of you?"

Chan shook his head. He let his eyes fly around the empty shop "Why don't I see any of the others here? They usually always arrive before we do"

The grandma giggled softly "Both Got7 and Twice are on a mission. Or so I heard. And well Day6-"

"-are outside the country. Special top secret mession apparently. Boystory are back to China for their usual training and Itzy..." Changbin's laptop was already in front of him, his fingers quickly hitting the keyboard. "-are in Japan. They have some special training to do there"

Jisung sighed as the owner of the shop retracted to go get his command "Special training hmmm... And they want us to go against them to see who's debuting? We're doomed. We are done for." His hand ran in his hair, his back falling back on the couch. "There's only the three of us! Against FIVE of them! How are we supposed to win?"

"If I have the two of you, I already feel complete. I can go against the whole world with you two beside me"

Changbin and Han's lips twitched downward. _Cuteness overload_, would Jisung call it. "Hyung, I love you too I promise. But not even your sweet cringey comforting words will be able to get my nerves down" said the youngest, throwing himself back on the table.

Changbin shrugged "I honestly am satisfied with the three of us too" he took a sip of his drink, ignoring Han's glare.

"I'm not saying that I am not- I just mean that we have almost no chance against them." he slammed Changbin's laptop shut, the said boy got startled and almost spilled his drink. It was Han's turn to ignore his glare "Hyung you are the best hacker in the whole country. I am the most stunningly beautiful and talented sniper, and Chan hyung is a triple threat, I'm not even going there. We are 3racha after all" he took a dramatic pause to give more power to his words "But we lack on so many field. We are always outnumbered compared to any other team. We don't have a healer or even a witch. Which are by the way, BASIC elements in a team. Endless to say, we are dom-"

"About that" Chan interrupted him, making both of the younger's attention snap at him. A silence who took a too long minute followed "JYP gave me the green light to make my own team" he glanced at Changbin "he asked me to choose more potential members, besides you two of course"

Jisung dramatically gasped, smashing his hands on the table as he stood up "REALLY?"

A heavy silence suddenly fell between them. Confused, a frown appeared on Jisung's face. He looked between the two "Why aren't you guys excited about it?"

Chan glanced at Jisung before he stared back at Changbin. The younger followed his eyes.

Changbin's head was title down toward his lap, his hands playing with the sleeve of his hoodie. Jisung deflated like a balloon. "Oh" he breathed out "I'm sorry hyung" he slowly sat back down. "I shouldn't ha-"

"No don't. I knew that it would be too good if we debuted just the three of us. I just-" he sighed, forcing his eyes to shot up "I just-" Chan reached out, grabbing his hand "You don't have to explain yourself. We know. We understand" Jisung nodded.

They fell in silence again._ A more calming one at least_, Jisung thought. Changbin, rather than typing on his Macbook like he usually does, abandoned the previously closed screen and sipped his hot chocolat with extra marshmallows and a spoon of honey. Jisung dug in his cheesecake who was strangely in front of him, even though he hadn't seen the grandma bring it to him. Chan's attention got dragged to the shopwindow at his right, the warmness of the mug comforting his usual freezing hands. Tonight, the night was calm and silent. The crescent moon was high in the darkness. His thoughts drifted far. _Should I go back to my lonely dorm tonight as well ?_

"Hyung, how was the hunt tonight?" Chan's attention flew back toward Jisung's small figure. His eyes were fixed on the liquide in front of him. "You arrived late today, later than usual and-I thought that something wrong happened and- I-"

"I'm sorry for worrying you Hanni" He turned to Changbin "You too Binni" He put his barely touched cup down, heavily sighing. Both Han and Changbin leaned forward, sensing the serious talk coming. "It just took longer because it was Hyunjin's first hunt. He had to go through all the paperwork. That's why we took longer to get out of the control check. Poor Binnie waited so long in the cold"

Jisung scoffed "Woah..." He rolled his eyes and folded his arms against his chest. "Not only do you have to babysit him, but you also have to act as his secretary?"

Chan sighed, leaning back on his chair "I work under the Hwang, Jisung. It's my job"

"It's SLAVERY! _Work_? What work? You're not even paid! They gave you a room in the BASEMENT before they ABANDONED you in JYPE at barely 10 of age! What _work_ is that?" Jisung was fuming, he sensed the anger scratch his insides.

"Jisung-" Changbin reached out for his hand but froze when he noticed the sparks threateningly lightning his blonde dyed hair. Chan's voice took control of the room. "Don't you think I know that? Me of all people?" He sighed, running a hand in his bleached hair. He started again with a lower and more controlled voice. The one he used when something wasn't going their way "I'm taking care of Hyunjin because he's like a brother to me Jisung. He's not work or even someone I look after because I'm under the pressure of what you call 'slavery' "

Jisung seemed to shrink on himself right in front of his eyes "Then what am I? What am I to you hyung?" His voice shook and he looked away "You and Changbin hyung are the only family I have left. I _refuse_ to loose you because Hwang _fucking_ Hyunjin can't take care of himself without risking the life of my only family" Tears filled his big round eyes as all previous sparks died down.

Chan smiled sadly, at a loose of words. They had this same conversation at least once a month after each _Bloody Trial_. Changbin sighed, ruffling his hair "You are not loosing any of us, dumbass"

Jisung whipped at his eyes, a small hopeful smile climbing up. "Does that mean I'm allowed to spend the night with you two?"

"Absolutely **NOT**" fired back the two of them at the same time.

"WHY NOT?" he pouted, a frown wrinkling his face.

"We already talked about this, we'll get you out on Christmas break. Not before." Chan reposted, lifting his mug back to his shattered lips.

"Look- I'm sure Changbin can hack in the company's email and send a mail to the orphanage telling them that I have some kind of _special training_ and need to leave for Christmas break earlier" he leaned forward, slowly opening again Changbin's laptop's screen.

"Don't even try" Changbin slammed back down the screen shut. "Last time we did that, we got caught and I had to go through A MONTH without hot chocolate _with extra marshmallows and a spoon of honey_. A MONTH!"

Chan grinned, sipping at his drink "Thought you had to do extra coding and hacking as a punishment?"

"PRIORITIES Chan. PRIORITIES. My hot chocolate _with extra marshmallows and a spoon of honey_ is more important than any sanction they can give me "

"Didn't you got locked up in a training room for like _weeks_ without being allowed to leave until you finished all that extra hacking and coding they gave you?" Jisung asked with frowned eyebrows.

Changbin shrugged "I finished what they gave me in half a day. I just pretended that I didn't because I was too annoyed to be given more"

"As expected of spearB, the best really." He clapped on his hands before he leaned forward again "If its that easy for you, does that mean you can do it again?" he whispered.

"JISUNG. NO" Changbin snapped back. "Chan Hyung is not even spending the night at the dorm anyway" he glanced at him "Are you?"

The leader sighed "I am actually" he adverted his eyes outside "The Hwang don't want me around. They're throwing a party for Hyunjin's first hunt and they're inviting all the big heads of the country. A _slave_ like me should know his place" His hands who were hugging the mug fell back on the wooden table "back to the rat's hole"

"Hyung..." Changbin breathed out.

"See what you did asshole?" Whispered Jisung to Changbin "Now Chan's upset. He _absolutely_ can NOT spend the night in that cold ass dorm alone." Mischief swam inside Jisung's eyes, painting his lips unto a smirk. "Now, get started on that email"

"Why don't you go use your fox like tricks to your _friends_ back in the orphanage won't you?"

Chan watched them bicker back and forth, their voices slowly fading until they were just background noises. He stared at the moon outside. Yeah, as long as he had 3racha, he really didn't care being called a _slave_, or even being one actually. Or whatever he was.


	4. A Life that Started with a Red Skirt and a Gucci Watch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I recommend reading this chapter while listening to Billie Eilish's 'everything I wanted'. The lyrics in the end refers to it.

It was strange, really, how Seungmin remembers every second of it.

He remembers the red skirt the headmistress was wearing that particular day. He remembers the Gucci watch the faceless men who brought him was wearing around his wrist. He remembers what he himself was wearing : beige shorts, a simple white shirt and a similar cardigan hanging on his shoulders, hiding what he knew were bloody knuckles.

The floor bellow his feet was too white, the women in front of him smiled too much, and the air smelled too nice. The kids were average, the food was tasteless in his mouth, and even the room he got assigned to was fade.

Seungmin remembers every single second of his first day spent in the _HOME FOR PARTICULAR KIDS IN NEED_. 

What is strange, is that he didn't-couldn't- remember a single thing about before that women with the red skirt opened the door.

It's like his life started from that point : a door opening in that particular building, a red skirt in front of his eyes, and the feeling of the golden Gucci watch against the tips of his fingers as the faceless men grasped his hand.

Another baseless kid, in another tarnished orphanage.

The days passed by, the weeks passed by, the months passed by. Seungmin didn't know. Every single day looked like the one before. The seconds melted unto hours and he sometimes found himself staring blankly at a white wall who had a crack on it for a period of time he couldn't determinate. He would only be conscious of his surroundings when the sun had settled on its axe.

_He was a doll_, he figured out one day. An empty doll, only fabricated to accept everything with a silent smile. That was what everyone expected from him.  
  
  


Then, _that kid_ came.

He was everything Seungmin wasn't. He was noisy, he had a constant frown on his face, he fought and screamed to the whole world what he wanted.

And between the loud and constant rumbling of that new kid, Seungmin noticed something for the first time since his life started with _that red skirt and that Gucci watch_ : he was mute. He didn't know how to talk. He didn't have any memory of doing so. 

Still today, he wonders why he never asked anyone who he was back when he still could. _What had happened to him? Why he was in this golden like cage? Who and Where were his parents? _He used to think that it was because he was mute for a long time. But Seungmin knew it wasn't that.

He had always accepted how things came by. He had accepted the orphanage, the food given to him, the scolds, and even if he couldn't remember the purple bruises and scars painting his body, he knew that, at some point, he had accepted them too. And without realizing, he had accepted that he was a mute orphan in a random institution with no whatsoever background.

But _that kid_ was different.

He went against any possible thing the _HOME FOR PARTICULAR KIDS IN NEED_ could possibly offer him. He starved himself, missed class every time he could and even fought with any possible kid that dared to meet his eyes.  
Seungmin, who now shared a room with him, noticed how he even slept on the floor for _months_, right beside the empty bed he was clearly ignoring. That kid protested and fought for what he had lost in his own way. In every way he could find. He was, day after day, screaming in pain for the family that had been tore from him, for the laugh and joy that got stolen from his heart. But day after day, everyone seemed to ignore him.

Still Seungmin _envied_ him. He wished he could cry out too. That he could as _simply_ as miss what he had lost. But Seungmin didn't know _who_ he was supposed to miss. He didn't know _who_ he had lost. The silent scars in his skin were the only proof of an existing life before _the red skirt and the Gucci watch_. So he kept looking at him from afar, mute and powerless. Again, like he always did, accepting this kid who was just like a passing train in his life.  
  


But something lead to another, and one day, a day who seemed to look like all the others, the kid had looked up at him, bloody lip and darkened eye, offering him the first honest smile in Seungmin's life "Hi, Thanks for getting them off me. I'm _Han Jisung_. What's your name?"

Seungmin stared at the beat up boy sitting on the dirty blood stained floor and for the first time in his life, someone was honestly and purely waiting for an answer from him. So he hesitantly opened his month, gapping like a fish for longer than he should have, but with a raspy voice, like a new born baby, he had said his first words to this _Han Jisung_ "_Kim Seungmin"_

But _Han Jisung_ wasn't like _Kim Seungmin_. He made friends as easily as it was for him to speak or fight with them. He switched between his overflowing emotions as easily and fast as it was to turn on and off a light. For _Han Jisung_, Seungmin was convinced, _Kim Seungmin_ was just a kid between hundreds in the orphanage.  
  


And Seungmin was glad that it was that way, he now thought to himself, years after their first meeting. He wouldn't have to worry explaining to anyone the _what_ or _why_ behind his weird feelings and actions.

Like _why_ he was in the orphanage's library at 2 in the middle of the night, during the holidays, 3 days before Christmas.

_Yeah. He really didn't mind being alone. _

Eyes blinking open slowly and head slowly lifting from where it was resting on the hard wooden table, Seungmin blinked twice at the glassed wall facing him. The trees were silently bending under the invisible force of the wind he could hear whizzing outside. The sky was surprisingly filled with stars, who were probably saying their last farewells before leaving with the sweetness of summer. Or so Seungmin thought.

He blinked his eyes once more, turning toward the dark library. The place was death silent and empty. He didn't even need to close his eyes to recall what he dreamed of seconds ago : _Red suffocating gaps of flames, licking the walls. The somewhat familiar smell of burn, and the everlasting loneliness and emptiness. _He could still see himself walking alone through the deserted and burning hallways, lungs tightening under the pressure of the smoke.

Seungmin _smiled_.

He recalled the song that was playing in his dream, softly whispering in his ear while the building roared and burned around him.

_'I had a dream. _   
_I got everything I wanted'_

The sound of the alarm suddenly bursting loudly inside the building only managed to make his head tilt curiously. He stood up slowly, eyebrows frowning. _There wasn't any fire alarm practice today...._

An explosion soon followed, making Seungmin lose his balance. Panic started scratching inside his chest. He stood frozen for what felt like a long minute, the fire alarm still screaming around the building.

Blinking rapidly his eyes, he bit his tongue to make sure that he wasn't still inside his dream. Realization slowly drowned inside him. _Could his dream haven't actually been just a dream but a-_

Another explosion made the long library shelves dangerously shake and it all it took to make Seungmin start running.

The hallways were empty and dark, like nothing had happened and it all was still only happening inside his brain. But now, he could smell the familiar smell of burned. The aching whizzing of his ears from the never ending fire alarm was also not something he could pass as an illusion.

As he ran through the empty hallways, heart loudly punching at his chest, the blood beating in his ears, he was thankful that it was holidays and the building was almost entirely deserted. Although this is an orphanage, almost all the children still had a far away family to spend holidays with. _Almost_ all of them.

He had just finished climbing down the stairs when a voice called out to him.

"SEUNGMIN? WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?" He stared wide eyed unto the headmistress' eyes. He was about to say something when he recognized the emotions swimming in her eyes. It was no fear, but rather a huge hatred. Directed right at him. He instinctively flinched back.

"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! MAKE IT STOP!MAKE IT STOP!" Her black painted nail dug inside his chest, weaker than the way her words dug deep within his head "I FUCKING KNEW THAT I SHOULDN'T HAVE ACCEPTED YOU IN MY SCHOOL! A FUCKING GUCCI WATCH WASN'T WORTH THE PAIN AND THREAT YOU PUT ABOVE OUR HEADS" She hysterically shoved him and Seungmin had to grasp the stairs' railing.

It felt like all air had been knocked out of his lungs. And it wasn't due to the heavy smoke coating the air around them. Her high pitched voice echoed profoundly inside his bones more than it vibrated around the empty building. "Mrs- Wh- I-I don't understand" his voice was rough and he had to caught to get the words out of his throat.

The headmistress' eyes filled with tears, eyes bloodshot. Seungmin's own instantaneously followed hers. She hit his chest again, and each hit of her finger against his chest felt like a repeated stab "You always have been a weird kid. Always. And I told them that you'll end up burning us all alive. I TOLD THEM" her head shook and the tears spilled on her dusted cheeks "You are the son of the devil Kim Seungmin. But I won't let you" She whispered, her voice barely above a whisper "I won't let a monster of your kind threaten and put in danger innocent lives. **_Not again_**. "

Seungmin barely felt her as she violently pushed him. He barely felt the impact of his back and head against the stairs. He only registered her words. Only saw as her _red skirt and the Gucci watch around her wrist _disappeared out of the cloud of smoke.

He only realized tears were painting his cheeks when the smoke started stinging his eyes. He let his head slowly fall back on the stair. His hands clinched around the stairs' railing.

And Seungmin screamed. He let out a long and tearing scream. Not hearing it between the whizzing of his ears, he only felt it as it scratched at his vocal chords. It was ironic really, how he finally learned something about his long lost and forgotten past only when he was at the bridge of death. How the first thing he learned about it, was that he _hurt_ and _threatened_ _innocent_ _lives_.

His mouth stayed slightly parted open, like if it was asking permission to let it scream again. The cracking sound of the fire reached his ears and he could now see from the side of his vision its red burning light.

He was gonna die. That was finally it. His life ending like it had started : in the same place, _with a red skirt and __a __Gucci watch_ as last memories.

Fear cracked his heart, but Seungmin scoffed. This was everything he always wanted anyways.

_'I had a dream. _   
_I got everything I wanted.'_

This was the dream he had an hour ago wasn't it? It was finally happening. He should be glad.

_'Not what you think.' _

He slowly sat back up. He turned his head to the right, watching the flames quickly engulfing the walls. He glanced at the exit door for a second, face blank.

He turned on his heels, climbing back up the stairs he had came down from. He heard the familiar song whispering behind his ear.

_'And if I'm being honest, It may have been a nightmare.' _

He smiled softly.

_'To anyone who might care'_

"But no one care" he softly whispered back.  
  
  
  
  


Seungmin too disappeared unto the heavy cloud of smoke.

But the opposite way his Headmistress had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I recommend reading this chapter while listening to Billie Eilish's 'everything I wanted'. The lyrics in the end refers to it.


	5. Just about The Most Powerful magic in the fairy world

Something was wrong.

Terribly and horrifyingly wrong.

In such a suffocating way. In the way the movement in the the air felt different. The way his muscles stung. The way his heart ached. The way his veins intertwined together like two dancing snakes. The way his blood rushed inside his body. The way his thoughts grumbled and buzzed like a pack of bees.

Something was wrong.

Jisung woke up with a startle, forehead and whole body drowning in his own sweat. The lightened room around him was blurry, and he had to blink his eyelids multiple times to chase the unnoticed tears. Frustrated, he whipped his eyes, eyebrows frowned.

He vaguely remember the nightmare. There was a fire, huge columns of red hot flames, licking the walls and fournitures of a familiar building. He could just recall screaming someone's name, terrible worry sinking inside his chest. His hand was right above his heart, like if he was preventing it from collapsing.

_'No. This wasn't a simple nightmare' _he thought. He_ never _had meaningless dreams.

A wave of nausea suddenly hit him and his hand crisped his skin. Something was wrong. His back bent down, he tired to take deep breath in, torturing his brain to tell him what the _fuck_ was wrong with him. It was the same overwhelming feeling he felt every time Chan or Changbin got hur-

Jisung felt his heart drop in his stomach. He cursed under his breathe, jumping out of the small mattress lying on the floor. Adrenaline and panic pushing his muscles. _Fucking_ _damn_ himself.

It was the _SoulLink. _

His heart hammered loudly in his ears, that terrible feeling getting stronger and stronger. "Chan hyung? Changbin hyung?" he shout unto the small apartment but no one responded. The place looked deserted. "CHAN HYUNG?" he tried again, his panicked voice getting louder. He ran unto the leaving room. Empty. He turned around to the kitchen, ears ringing loudly. "CHANGBIN HYUNG?" the blurry room started spinning on itself as he turned frantically around himself, his throat tight. "Chan hyung? Chan hyung? Changbin hyung? Changbin hyung?" he repeated like a manic his breath hitched "_nononono_" he mumbled, blood rushing in his ears.

_This wasn't happening, this wasn't happening to them. No no no n-_

He jumped from surprise, however confused on what made him brutally turn around yet again. His eyes met warm brown ones, filled with a familiar concern he had grown used too. The weight that was pressing down his heart suddenly got released.

His eyes blinked. Chan's lips were moving but the buzzing in his ears was louder. "-sungie? Hanni its okey, it's okey. Hyung's here, I'm here" His voice gradually reached Jisung's ears. Chan rubbed his arms, trying to offer him what he hoped was a warm smile. "What's wrong? Do you wanna tell me what got you so worked up?"

Jisung sniffled, eyes watery "I-I thought that- that something happened to you guys. I- I _felt it_ hyung" His stare was disparate, widely staring unto Chan. His smile almost looked pitiful as he responded with that same soft voice "I am alright. Everything's fine now okey? Me and Changbin are both-"

The younger's eyes widened again, his mouth gaping in shock. It felt like something had grabbed his ankle right after he got out of the water, dragging him right back down the dark abyss of the ocean. "Changbin- hyung- he's- where-where is-" His lungs were crushing from the pression inside his chest, and he could feel his heart stopping beating for a long second. His breath was stuck in his throat, barely making it out of his parted mouth.

Sudden warmth erupted in his cheeks. He felt his head being forced up. "Jisung. Breathe. Breathe with me okey? Take a deep in, hold it in, and out" Chan's voice was loud and vibrant in the silent apartment, but Jisung wasn't hearing him, he couldn't. "Where-Where's Changbin- hyung- he's-"

"He's in the grocery story. The one right down the street. He'll be here in a minute now" It was Jisung's turn to grasp Chan's shoulders, his nails digging in his skin. "Don't you understand? I FEEL IT hyung. I can feel it IN MY BONES. It's the SoulLink! Something is wrong. Something happened. Changbin- he's-he"

Before Chan could reach his earpiece to contact Changbin, his hand halted mid-air. He sighed heavily. A sigh Jisung couldn't understand. _Exasperation?_ _Relief?_ _Exhaustion_ _from having to deal with his shit?_ "He's climbing the stairs, he'll be here in seconds" Jisung glared at him in disbelief. Chan cut him off before he could fire at him "I'm a vampire Hanni remember? I can hear him." He squeezed his shoulders and Jisung's arms fell besides his body "He'll be right through this door in three" He stared at the door and Jisung followed his gaze "Two, one-"

Keys turned in the door lock, allowing in a very tired looking Changbin, cheeks red from the cold. "It's freezing damn it. Can't believe you asked me to go out just for some noodl-" his eyes set on the two figures in the middle of the hall, the sudden smell of distress coating the air invaded his senses, almost making him dizzy "Is everything alrig-"

Changbin sucked in a breath, taking a step back to catch Jisung's in his arms. A second he was staring at him from the other side of the room, a second later, he was holding him in his arms, the younger sniffing in his left shoulder. Be damned that teleportation ability of his. "Hanni? What's wrong?" He enveloped his arms around him, tapping his back gently. He frowned his eyebrows, throwing a questioning look to Chan.

The older only sadly shook his head, gesturing to bring the youngest to the small tarnished sofa in the empty living room.

"Jisungie? Let's go sit down alright?"

Jisung would have normally argued but his legs were trembling under him, and he could barely remember the last time he felt that weak and dizzy, at the edge of a cliff. He didn't even bother trying to offer a comforting smile to Chan and Changbin whose stare lingered on him.

He exhaled a shaky breath, his head falling back on the couch. "Can either of you explain what's going on?" Jisung kept his eyes closed, knowing that Chan would answer Changbin's question. "Jisung had a-" he glanced at the youngest unsure "nightmare-"

Jisung snapped his eyes open "It wasn't a nightmare" Both boys looked at him expectedly "I mean- I did have one but- that's not it." Changbin and Chan shared a look that Jisung didn't notice. "It's the SoulLink hyung, how many times do I have to explain this? I could _feel_ it. I still can _feel_ it and its eating me up from the inside" his hand was against his chest, and he blinked back the tears.

"Feel what?" he stared at Changbin "That something is _wrong_. That- _something_ happened to either of you, I can feel it through the Link" his tone was desperate. Desperate to be understood. To be believed.

Chan put a gentle hand on his shoulder, where he was sitting at his left. "Jisung, maybe the link is just- inaccurate. Look at us, both Changbin and I are perfectly fine"

Jisung scoffed. He shook his shoulder to get off Chan's hand who had become a heavy weight rather than a comforting touch. He tried to swallow back the anger scratching his inside. The hurt in his voice was however clear. "You don't understand do you?" Neither Chan or Changbin responded, throwing a quick glance to each other. He straightened his back. "To us Faeries, a SoulLink is the most important and precious bond two people can share. It's the proof of a true honest love and of an unbreakable faith toward the other. Most married fairies don't even share one." Chan's mouth opened several times as if to say something, but nothing ever came. "Jisung that's-" Changbin words halted in his lips as the younger cut him off "It's just about the _most_ _powerful_ magic in the faery world. Which means, it _never _is inaccurate."

A heavy silence fell between them. Jisung dropped his head in his hands, his fingers gripping his hair.

"Sungie-" Chan's voice was far away, like a background sound in a loud noisy place. He tried to focus on the hand on his neck, massaging his tense muscles. "I know that I sound crazy, I know it. But- but I can't h-help it. It's so overwhelming, I'm suffocating it's like I'm burning from the inside" He blinked, feeling the tear slip from his eye and fall on the carpet.

"Jisung, we _believe_ you alright? We are just trying to understand what's going on" Changbin grabbed his hands and gently but strongly removed them from where they were grabbing his hair. "Maybe you share the link with someone other than the two of us?"

Jisung straightened his back again, sighing. "I lost everything when I got exiled from the fairy land. All my previous SoulLinks got destroyed. The people I shared them with either started despising me or just vanished from my life. Either way, the links all broke." his voice was almost emotionless, like a strong barrier was standing between his voice and his emotions. Chan felt his heart wrench painfully. He plinked back tears when Jisung met his eyes "You and Changbin hyung are the only SoulLink I have in this new miserable life of mine. You are the only people I care about. You, Changbin hyung and Seung-"

A heavy stunned silence followed.

Jisung's eyes widened, air stuck in his throat. _No. This wasn't possible. It- wasn't- _"Jisung- Have you perhaps- developed a link with Seungmin too?" Changbin carefully examined him but Jisung wasn't looking at him. His hands were back against his eyes, fear erupting from him in strong waves that made the older waver from how strong and overwhelming the scent was.

"I-"

The sudden sound of a phone ringing made all three of them slightly jump from surprise. Jisung frantically searched in his pockets, briefly glancing at the name displayed before answering. "Jackson hyung?" he coughed, trying to clear his throat from the apparent roughness and shakiness of his voice.

A clear heavy sigh of relief from the other side of the line made all three boys' eyebrows simultaneously shoot up. With Chan and Changbin's heightened hearing from either their werewolf or vampire heritage, Jisung knew they could hear perfectly without him having to put the device on speaker. He shared a glance with both of them. _"Where are you right now? You're not at your orphanage are you?"_

Jisung felt his heart quicken its beating. He sucked in a breathe. Nausea hit his guts like a wave and he bit his lips. The feeling of something being quiet not right getting stronger at each passing second. "N-no. I'm with Chan hyung and Changbin hyung back at their appart. Why?"

_"Didn't you see on the news? The orphanage is burning down man. There was a huge fire. The firefighter are still trying to turn it off but it's only getting stronger, like if it's feeding from the water. Probably a magic fire. They called JYP to send some mage and water spirits to try to help. Jinyoung is getting rea-" _

Jisung didn't hear half of what he said. His hand started shaking and his palms sweating. His phone slipped from his hands, unconscious on where it fell. He felt someone on his right shaking him. Maybe someone was also calling his name, but everything felt so far away. Like if it was hidden by a big heavy fog. Seungmin. Seungmin didn't have anywhere to go. No far away family willing to take him in for the holidays like the other kids. No dear friends to spend the break with like he had. No one. He always stayed back at the orphanage. Every. Single. Year.

His heart skipped a beat for a long two second, and his throat spasmed, desperately asking for air. His lungs felt like they were filled with smoke and he coughed violently. Realization drowned on him like a splash of cold water on his whole body. He really had unconsciously developed a SoulLink with Seungmin. But the fact that it was still so new and that neither of them had realized that it was _there_ had made it almost impossible for Jisung to tell from who the overwhelmingly feeling of pain was coming from. In the far back of his head, he knew that if it was Chan or Changbin who were in danger, he would have immediately been able to tell the who, what and where. They had shared and accepted the bond fully years ago after all. Which wasn't the case of his and Seungmin's link.

"-sung can you hear me? Jisung? Jisung!!!" He snapped his head up, eyes widely staring at Changbin. His hearing slowly came back to him and his head frantically turned around, not feeling Chan's presence at his left anymore. "Hyung is talking with Jackson sunbaenim. He's still here, don't worry" He stared back at Changbin. His mouth opened as if to say something but another violent cough made his body bend forward. He tried to take deep breath in, but the air around him felt dirty and unbreathable. It only made him suffocate more and more.

"Jisung- Sungie please tell me what to do. What can I do to help you? Why are you in so much pain?" Jisung wished he could answer. He wished he had enough air to speak but he hadn't. "You-you can't-" a fist of cough spasmed his body "it's- Seungmin- Seungmin is su-suffocating- not me"

Changbin's eyes went wide, comprehension flashing in his eyes like two lights illuminating "Than cut it! If the link with Seungmin is making you suffer like this CUT THE LINK!" He shook his shoulders, his eyes pressing. Han sucked a breath in, vaguely wondering if it was because of Changbin's words or the pain burning inside his chest. He stood from the couch, taking several steps back. "How-how can you-" his body shook for what felt like the hundredth time "_How_ can you ask that from me?"

He took another step back, collecting all his energy despite his shaking body. He looked for the small light inside his chest. He looked for it and grasped it with all his strength. His body started disappearing, becoming translucent "Hanni- Han please don't go there. Han-" Changbin stood up slowly, arms held in front of him. He took a step forward as Jisung took one backward. He could barely see his body anymore, like if he was a mere ghost, a fragment of his imagination. "Jisung- _please- please_. We can go there together don't go alone- Jisung-"

Jisung shook his head "You don't care about him hyung. Not like I do. If you did, you wouldn't have asked me to cut the link. He's in _danger_ I _can't_ wait"

"YOU COME FIRST" Tears built up in his eyes and Jisung flinched. He could now see Chan approaching them slowly, phone in hand and eyes wide with concern. For a split second, he almost regretted it. He almost stopped the teleportation spell. _Almost_. If he didn't still feel the suffocating smoke coating his lungs. If he didn't still feel Seungmin's pain tearing up his heart. "Jisung- Your life and safety comes first to me. _Please_ don't do anything stupid"

Dust like sparkles flew to the air, erupting from Jisung's body. He gathered his whole magic power, focusing on his body and where it needed to be. He rarely teleported that far and with so little strength. He shoot a last smile. "I'm sorry hyung. I'll be going first"

"JISUNG-"

He only heard Chan calling his name, Changbin's hand stretched toward him, as if to catch him.

But Jisung was already gone from their apartment.

He won't let someone he care about disappear when he can do something about it_. He won't do the same mistake twice. Never again. _


	6. Lily-of-Valley

A familiar smell of burning wood filled his nose and Han Jisung coughed again before he even had the time to open his eyes. However, as soon as he did, they started stinging, watering from the hotness and dust coming from the burning fire.

Jisung pulled the sleeve of his hood down and put it against his mouth. He turned around himself, blinking rapidly to give the time to his body and sense to adjust.

He only noticed that there was a buzzing in his ears when the sound ceased, letting it take place to screams and panicked voices. The world was blurry, like a video put on speed. The fire was roaring, the sirens of the police, ambulance and fire trucks were blasting, the few kids who had stayed in the orphanage were crying and there was already a big crowd of curious passerby forming. Jisung briefly looked up. The night sky was coated with a large and thick gray cloud.

As soon as his eyes fell on the crowd, before he even started searching, he spotted the headmistress. His subconscious seemed to catch her presence instantly when she was around him, used to years of avoiding her and running away from her scolding.

"SEUNGMIN? SEUNGMIN?" his lungs screeched at the effort. The women had turned her head toward him, eyebrows shoot up high. "HAN JISUNG. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" her loud voice stood above all the noise and yells on the street. Jisung only heard her voice. Loud and clear, screaming his name. And he wanted nothing more than to slap her right here and then. To tear at her perfect straight hair. To throw a dirty stack of water on her white impeccable shirt. She looked out of place, like she just exited a ballroom.

He quickly closed the huge distance that had been between them. A sudden fit of cough tore his eyes from her. He desperately swallowed it back, pressing back his sleeve against his mouth before he straightened back.

"WHERE'S SEUNGMIN? WHERE IS HE? I know he stayed back I know it" he looked around the roaring crowd, a pang in his heart. But there was no Seungmin. No sweet and sunshine like Seungmin. No worried face asking him what the fuck he was doing here. Nothing. "I don't know Jisung. I don't know. Everyone escaped the building, he must be somewhere, taken care by the paramedics." Jisung snapped his attention back to her. A single glance at her and he saw it. He saw her ugly lie engulfing her body, dancing around her, dark and hideous.

He put a hand on her shoulder, pushing her slightly. Not too strong to hurt her, but still there, enough to get his point through. "Don't. You. Dare. Lie in my face." He took a step forward, gritting his teeth. "Thought you knew better not to lie to the face of a fairy. Didn't you learn that from my mother?" He smirked when her face went pale.

Jisung didn't lose a single more second. He turned around, pushing his legs toward the burning orphanage. He went toward the back of the building, away from the firefighters and the crowd. His breath was heaving painfully, eyes dancing on the walls, trying to find a safe way in. "_Think Jisung think_." he muttered.

He took a deep breath in, closing his eyes. He focused on the overwhelming feeling of  
the SoulLink. On his lungs suffocating and tightening. On the familiar feeling of pain. On the smell of burning. All of these sensations erupting through his body weren't his. They were Seungmin's. How Seungmin was feeling.

Jisung didn't feel his legs give up under him. He didn't feel his knees hit the floor. A yellow light was enveloping his body, the same sparks who showed back in their apartment flying above him. If he was able to feel all of Seungmin's pain and feelings, he was sure he could find him inside the building before he had to go in.

He closed his eyes tighter and focused on the link. There was a fresh and hard sensation against his left cheek. Like if his head was pressed against a glass. He could feel his legs- _no seungmin's legs_\- stretched out in front of him, laying on a warm floor. Seungmin's back was also pressed against that same fresh and hard thing his cheek was against. He focused harder. Those informations weren't enough. He needed one more. Something who could tell him without a doubt where inside the building Seungmin was.

He scratched his powers, reaching harder for the light sparkling in his chest. Since _that_ incident, years ago, he never ever used his powers to this extent. Only teleporting distances shorter than a couple meters or using the SoulLink to make sure Chan and Changbin were alright during practice missions. Since he joined JYP, he always had mainly relied on the skills they taught them there : shooting, hacking, fighting, healing, basically anything involving using his brain and body. But that was before now.

_"Cmon cmon, please, please one last thing"_ Like he hadn't felt his fall on the grass of the backyard of the orphanage, Jisung didn't feel the blood escaping his nose. Instead, familiar sweet parfume filled his sense. He frowned his eyebrows, head titled. He knew that sent he knew it-

Realizations made his eyes flash wide open. The globe of yellow bright light that had been enveloping him softly exploded unto tiny sparks. He for once was grateful for being a fairy, one so akin to nature at that. It was the sent of a flower named _lily-of-valley. _

_"Do you know this flower Jisung?" Seungmin had asked, his eyes fixed on tiny white petals, that together looked like tiny bells. _

_Jisung had snickered "Of course I know it. I'm a nature fairy Seungmo" He circled the pot_ _ to have a better view_ _. He sniffed, slightly bending down. "By the smell of it, a very toxic one" _

_Seungmin nodded. "It looks like a very frail flower. But it can survive in a very cold weather_ _. And it's extremely _ _toxic" He brought his hand toward it, gently running a finger on its petal "I put a spell on it to make it harmless" _

_Jisung nodded "I could tell" he frowned his eyebrows "Why is it here? Isn't the headmistress allergic to pollen or something?" _

_Seungmin shrugged "She never comes to the _ _ library _ _ anyway" _

Jisung smiled. He whipped his nose, removing his hand to see it red. He scoffed. He was so weak. He put a leg up, putting all his weight on it to stand up. With a shaky breathe, he moved forward, one foot after another, until the fog in his brain faded just a little. And he started running, short suffocated breath escaping his parted lips.

He suddenly froze, looking up. The big and large windows of the library. The flames had yet to attack that part of the building. Jisung took a deep breath in. He closed his eyes and focused on where he _needed_ to be.

He opened his eyes again, and he stumbled back. His chest was on fire, tightened around his lungs and heart. He put his sleeve against his mouth again, and looked around him. He was indeed in the library. It was dark and coated with smoke.

He saw the blurry feature of Seungmin a second later as his body turned toward the windows.

"SEUNGM-" a strangled cough made his legs shake and he stumbled on them, his knees knocking on the floor beside Seungmin's unmoving ones. He grabbed his face with shaky fingers "Seung-Seungmin- Please- wake up- Seungmin" a tear escaped his right eye.

A violent explosion made his body fall forward. He put himself in front of Seungmin's unmoving one, in a bare desperate attempt to protect him. Jisung didn't want to look back, but he could feel the hotness of the flames, hear that cracking at they ate everything around them. He glanced behind his back still. The scene in front of him was like what he saw in his dream : _huge columns of red hot flames, licking the walls and climbing the shelves on the library. _

However, Jisung noticed something strange. The flames seemed to stop a meter before them, like if they were blocked by an invisible wall, or by some magic force in this case. He frowned his eyebrows, whipping his head back toward Seungmin. Jisung wasn't- couldn't even if he wanted too- cast a protection spell in the state he was in. What was holding the flames back from burning them alive then? He shrugged his head, none of this was important in the moment anyway. 

"Seungmin- _please_ wake up" he shook his body to no avail. The heavy coated smoke in the air was still longing above their heads, toxic and unbreathable. Jisung brought his hand to his nose, feeling the familiar metallic substance in the back of his throat. He coughed in his hand, only removing it to see it bright red. What could he do? He could destroy the glass for sure, but they were too high up for either of them to jump. He couldn't even dream of teleporting alone let less with Seungmin in his arms.

Tears blurred his vision. Jisung didn't want to die. He didn't want Seungmin to die. He wanted both of them to grow up, fool around, discover what a family felt like, basically do anything stupid he didn't thought he wanted to do until this moment. He didn't want to leave Changbin and Chan behind. He didn't want either of them to feel guilty for a mistake he did.

He took a deep breath in. If the flames weren't a danger for the time being for whatever strange reason that kept them from approaching, what he needed to do right now was to purify the air around them. Jisung looked down at what he was wearing. A simple white loose t-shirt hanged on his torse. Good, it wouldn't block _them_ from surfacing.

With shaky hands, Jisung grasped Seungmin's hands to ground him down. He didn't summon them since _that_ incident. Years ago. And he didn't know if he was ready too. But there was no other choice left.

"_From the deepest ocean to the top of the sky. Stronger than any wind, lighter than any cloud. I call for you oh Wings_"

The familiar tingling crept up and down his spinal cord, erupting across his back. He imagined them in his back, splendid and majestic like he remembered them being. He felt the skin in his back tear apart, stretch and distort. Jisung squeezed his eyes shot, trying to ignore the pain, to focus on the magic left in his body. He remembered what someone told him a long time ago '_Fairy's magic is everlasting Jisung. It only depend on your capacity to reach for it and use it.' _So Jisung pulled at the magic he could feel deep down in his bones. He pulled and pulled, until a crack sound exploded in his ears.

His wings opened up wide and big, flapping on his back. The air it created pushed the fire back for a moment, before it came back stronger, feeding from the oxygen it was given. Jisung didn't look back. He didn't glance at them. He couldn't. He bit his lips, but the tears still stung in his eyes. _"I summon the air from the purest forest, I give a protection stronger than any barrier" _he whispered under his breath. He flipped his wings once more and a wave of strong fresh air washed on them, englobing them in an invisible barrier against the dusty smoke. 

A couple of seconds after the air around them purified, Seungmin flinched slightly, eyes half opening. Jisung smiled at him, a smile full of tears and sorrow. He bended down. "I'm gonna get you out of here Felix. It's a promise."

He stood up and looked around him. Not thinking twice, he grabbed a metallic chair who was pushed against a table at his right, and took a few steps away from where Seungmin was laying. He started hitting the glass with it, screaming and wincing under the effort. His wings were flapping behind his back, the spell he had casted on them still providing both of them some oxygen. But it wasn't enough. He had used to much of his powers. And the glass stood tall and strong.

Panic and despair hit him deep and the chair almost slipped from his sweaty hands. _"Sungie, we're gonna meet again. Don't you dare die before we meet again." _A tear fell from his eyes, then another and another. He hiccuped, a sob burning his throat. Why did he have to remember something like that in a moment like this. He pushed his powers in his hands, letting the familiar sparks tingling his arms. With a scream of despair, he hit the glass again. The time seemed to have stopped for a long second before the window cracked. Another strong hit, and the glass exploded.

Jisung scoffed a sigh of relief. He grabbed the spikes of broken glass, tearing them apart to widen the gap, even giving it a strong kick. When it was wide enough, he bended down. "Seungmin? Seungmin do you hear me?" The said boy blinked at him, eyes clouded with confusion "I need you to help me alright? Can you stand for me?" Jisung didn't wait for his response before he started pulling him up, the younger's arm wrapped around his neck. "C'mon, you can do this"

Jisung only remembered seeing Changbin's werewolf dashing toward them from bellow, his grey fur dancing in the wind. He only felt and half saw Chan jump to the open gag in the window, red iris staring at him. He never thought he would see those threatening and murderous red vampire eyes staring at him wide with worry. Chan never let them turn from their usual brown warm color in front of Changbin and him. Never. Not even during missions. And for a split of a second, he wondered why he was thinking about something as trivial in a moment like this. "T-take him.NO- NO I will follow behind. Take Seungmin." he heard his voice shout but it came from so far away, like if he was in a tunnel and he was hearing his voice only from the echos.

Chan grabbed Seungmin from Jisung's arms and jumped down with him. He saw them land safely and the last thing he heard was Changbin's wolf howl.

Jisung didn't feel his body loose balance and fall. He didn't feel the wind brush against his body, trying to push him up, as if to hold him. He hadn't felt the blood spilling from his ears when he had opened his wings. Hadn't seen Seungmin worried face when he used his last bits of power to break the glass, both his nose and ears bleeding, the fresh blood mixing with the dried one as it spilled on his neck and lips. Jisung felt none of it, just the overwhelming feeling of adrenaline rushing in his veins, worry exploding in his temples.

Changbin's wolf howled again and Jisung frowned as he had one last thought, head falling first right toward the floor.

_Why could a wolf's howl sound so panicked?_


	7. Too Many Blue Disgusting Creatures and Too Much Protective instinct

There was a green smoke flaying across the room. Twisting around their bodies and hanging above their heads.

Changbin's face crunched, not even bothering to hide his apparent discomfort and disgust. In time like these, he always hated his supernatural sent. He side-eyed Chan at his right. _'As expected', _he thought as he softly scoffed. It was to wonder if Vampires had the same super developed sense of smell as Werewolves. But Changbin knew they did, Chan even more than commoners like himself with all his years of sucking blood and practice. Absorbing magic through blood feeding really was a capacity he almost wished his kind had.

A sudden cough made his attention snap back forward and his expression turned back to a neutral one. He had almost forgotten the reason of his presence here. But on another hand, how could he.

"So my little babies here told me that you two, or rather you three if we count the absence of that brat, have been a little naughty" His old hand, slick and tarnished, softly caressed a weird looking blue creature on his too packed desk.

Changbin's face crunched again, with nothing more than pure disgust this time.He tried to not look at them, but they were everywhere. Crawling and twisting. It was hard to describe those creatures to anyone who hadn't seen them. They were no larger than a small lizard. They had five legs, two from each side and one merging right under the animal's throat. However they crawled like snakes more than they walked. It had long intertwined fur who looked like laces who danced above its body like hypnotized snakes. Changbin would have found them no more than a fascinating weird creature, no different from all the sort of living things he often smelt and saw on the enchanted woods, if it hadn't been for the fact that there was so many of them, everywhere in every single corner of the office. So much that it was more of an infested nest then the office of their CEO.

"So tell me again._ How _in that damned brain of yours, did you think that going against orders is a good thing to do?" He patted one of those _blue things_, and Changbin tried very hard to not look at the men's feet who rested on the desk, infested my those _horrible blue creatures. What was their name anyway?_

_"_There was no order given about the fire going on in the orphanage sir. Therefore, no order was disrespected." Changbin glanced at Chan. How could he contradict the boss' words with such a stern face? He bit his lips, trying not to laugh.

The man known as Park Jinyoung, JYP for short, straightened his posture, his feet falling from the desk. "Exactly. Don't go do shits that can affect the whole company without direct orders from your superiors you asshole"

Chan's face didn't betray a single emotion, his hands tightened behind his back. "In the first volume, Chapter 03, line 25, it says and I quote : I shall help those in need at any given moment, no matter the situation. Turning my back to someone's call for help in a life or death situation is worse than killing that person with my own hands." Chan's whose eyes were stuck in the wall behind his boss, lowered his glare to match his. "Therefore, I had no choice than to order my team to go in field and help those who hadn't managed to escape"

Changbin's eyes widened in surprise. If anything, Chan had tried to stop Jisung from going there alone without any given instructions or plan. He opened his mouth to say something but closed it right back when his leader threw him a side glare. Changbin wasn't even sure what he had wanted to say even if he was given the right too.

"Volume 03, Chapter 76 : I shall always wait for orders and follow them no matter what personal value I might have." JYP had sat up, hands smacking the desk as he glared at Chan with challenging eyes. But Chan didn't budge, expression still neutral as ever. "Volume 08, Chapter 01 : In a life or death situation, or in a case where the QG is injoignable, the leader has the responsibility to make decisions on his free will while still following the guidelines. He or she have even the right to go against the orders if he or she judge it necessary" He let his words sink in, a momentary tense silence flying around them. "I was in a situation where I couldn't contact the QG and wait for orders. As I'm sure you already know, my fellow members Han Jisung _lives_ in that said orphanage. He has friends and had found a home in that place. I'm sure that your compassionate and kind heart can understand the hard situation I was put in pd-nim. Of course, I take full responsibility of my own and my team's actions." He paused. "And of- Seungmin of course"

For the first time since they had entered the office, Chan's mask cracked and his voice wavered with what Changbin could recognize as worry. The boss pressed his thin lips tightly and for a second it seemed that he would let them leave without much further problems. But both boys noticed the smallest tilt of his finger.

A second later, a blue creature screeched loudly in fear and surprise as it flew across the room, her claws out and spread around its body. The sharp claw dug right under Chan's right eye. Changbin slightly jumped in place, even if he knew what was gonna happen before it did. Chan however didn't even flinch, his eyes staying open as he stared at his boss. He lifted his hand and whipped the blood like if he was changed a dust.He stared at his boss who still had his hand hung in the air. The old man, sighed deeply, letting his arm fall beside his body. "Get out of my office. The two of you. GET OUT"

Changbin bowed quickly, grabbing his leader's arm in a tighten grasp before dragging both of them outside.

He hurriedly walked through the corridors, claws digging unto Chan's wrist. He didn't stop until the leader came to a halt, stopping the younger's hurried walk. "Binnie, calm down would you?" Changbin stared at him with wide stunned eyes, hidden behind an invisible fog. Chan brought his free hand toward his cheek, warm brown eyes soothing and calming. "Hey, Binnie? Are you with me?" The said boy blinked again multiple times, before he slowly nodded, still seeming a bit lost.

Chan however kept smiling, a bit wider until his right dimple appeared. "Great, can you please let go of my wrist? It stings a little" his face distorted in a comic grin, lips still pulled high.

Changbin looked at their intertwined hands and abruptly pulled back, releasing his grasp. His claws had unconsciously appeared on the tips of his fingers. They had dug inside Chan's wrist, ripping his skin and making him bleed. The droplets of dark blood were few but still there. "I-I-I'm so so sorry Chan-hyung I hadn't realized- I'm so-" Chan however laughed lightly, whipping his hand on his black hoodie. "Hey don't worry about it. You must have been quiet distressed to loose control like that"

Changbin looked down, apparently ashamed. "I-I just hadn't expected him to actually be able to hit you with that- that _blue disgusting thing_" Chan looked at him with a grin, amused at how his expression switched to one of disgust. "Me and Bam used to cook them you know" Chan giggled louder as Changbin's expression switched yet again, a mix of complete surprise and disgust, mouth wide open. "Hey don't look at me like that. When you're a 13 years old hungry teenager full of hormones and upset at the whole world, you do shit"

There was a moment of silence with Changbin looking at him with judgmental eyes, eyebrows high before he turned around and started walking again. Chan snickered a laugh before he started following him. He thought that the younger wasn't gonna talk again before he did, "Was it good at least" he asked, eyeing him. He smirked at Chan's disgusted face. "There's a reason I prefer dying from hunger than drinking their blood. I know that Bam secretly loved it tho" that got a laugh out of Changbin.

They walked in silence for some more before he asked again. "Why- Why didn't you dodge it? I know you could have easily dodged it if you wanted too" this time, he didn't look at him. He did when Chan scoffed a honest laugh "Pd-nim didn't manage to put a single scratch on Shuyang yet. Thought it may calm him down if I let him think that I couldn't dodge it"

Changbin stopped, eyes wide as he looked at his leader in disbelief. "Not yet?? Really??" Chan nodded with a smile. "None of us managed to last that long in our first year here. And we were way older"

Chan shrug, hands hidden in his pockets. Changbin took two long steps to catch up on him. "I mean- He had been trained by us. Jackson hyung and Jb hyung wouldn't allow a single scratch on his face." 

Changbin was about to speak again before a loud voice from down the hallway cut him off. He looked in disbelief at his leader but Chan only smiled, eyes fixed on the big white closed doors.

"Jisung's awake"

\----

"I SAID I'M PERFECTLY FINE LET GO. I SWEAR IF YOU DON'T LET GO-"

Jisung trashed, screamed, pulled on his restrainers. It was ridiculous really, stupid how they thought it was necessary to tie down his hands and feet to the bed. Again, and he won't ever say it enough, it was _ridiculous_.

His body fell back on the uncomfortable bed against his consent, chest heavy and panting. He could feel his wings on his back, could feel both of them wide and radiating strong waves of magic. They were refreshingly cold against his sweaty back but it felt like two hot irons pressed on his skin. Tears coated his eyes and he pulled at his restrainers, aching his back so we wouldn't feel them on his skin.

But the little energy he had in his body left again and he fell back on the bed, tears wetting his pillow, unable to whip them away. "P-please let-let me go" he whispered softly, the silence of the room ringing in his ears.

"Jisung sweetie have you finally calmed down?"

Jisung snapped his head to his right, glaring at the healer coming his way. _Oh how he hater her. _"Let me go." He greeted between his teeth, voice shaky.If those restrainers weren't magic proof, he would probably have ripped her head off. No. He didn't need magic for that, his bare hands would be far enough.

The women snickered, her purple dress flying around her as she moved around "Don't look at me like that sweet heart. We both know what you did last time you were admitted here and that damn intern forgot to handcuff you." She rolled her eyes as she turned toward him. "I'm just taking extra care this time"

"YOU FUCKING PSYCHO LET ME GO" Jisung knew he was screaming and over reacting. He should probably just calm down, try to sleep and wait for Chan and Changbin to get him out of here with nothing more than a couple prescribed potions and a few days of rest. He would have done that if it wasn't for his wings being out, right there on the open, for everyone and anyone to see. If he wasn't so disgusted by them.

The women approached his bed, she tightened the cuffs around his hands and pressed her hand against his chest, pushing him down back on the bed. He was about to scream at her to _not touch him _when his throat strangled his voice.

A moment of silence hung in the air, a tear slide down his eye while he still tried to free himself, pulling at the black leathered restrainers with less energy than before. Just a remaining desperation and itch tugging at his skin. 

And a second later, before he had the time to blink, complete chaos erupted.

Everything happened so fast that his mind barely managed to caught on. He saw from the corner of his right eye Jinyoung steeping inside the room. _The _Park Jinyoung. Not that old hag who acted as their CEO. No. Park Jinyoung from _Got7_. Jisung's eyebrows frowned. _Weren't they on a mission? Were they already back? _His long dark blue coat who identified him as a high classed healer flew behind him. His eyes were fixed on his Ipad before he lifted them toward his. Recognition flew in his expression and he opened his mouth as if ready to say something, eyebrows frowned in confusion and surprise, before a door smashed open in Jisung's left side. He knew who it was before his eyes fell on Changbin and Chan.

While Changbin's whole eyes had turned black as if he was possessed, Chan's eyes were bright red.

Chan saw Changbin's actions before the said boy did anything. He saw as the muscles in his back shoulders heavily tensed. Saw as his claws appeared on his fingers. Heard his heartbeat quicken. Smelt the fear and protection instinct coating his body.

So when Changbin used his supernatural speed to jump toward the nurse still holding down Jisung, Chan had already caught up on him, standing right in front of the women. He grabbed Changbin's wrist just as it was about to fall down, full of venom. Chan's red eyes shone for a second as they stared down unto the other's full dark ones. "Changbin. Calm down. Gain back control" his voice was low and strong, vibrating in the tense silent room. "Now"

The young wolf's eyes slowly turned back to normal, and he hung his head down low. Although Chan hated to see Changbin being submissive, he sighed in relief, pulling him in his arms.

"You fool" Jisung whipped his head right as he heard Jinyoung speak, pulling the nurse on her feet. "I thought you knew better than to maltreat a wolf's pack member" When he felt Jisung's stare on him, he glanced at him and threw toward him a wink with a small smile. He did a quick gesture with his right hand, the one who wasn't tightly grasping the healer, and a second later, Jisung's cuff were falling down like dead leaves. A second more and he was out of the door with the women, shouting behind his back "COME SEE ME WHEN YOU'RE DONE BANG CHAN. You and me have to talk"

Chan grimaced but didn't turn back, only tightening his arms around Changbin. "It's okey, you're fine. We are all fine. Nothing happened to Jisung alright?" he whispered in his ear, and although Changbin did no move signaling that he was listening, Chan knew he did. He threw a small smile to Jisung, who was now sittingrubbing his wrist who had turned purple. "Is he alright?" his grimace had left his face, worry replacing it "He'll be fine. He was just worried about you Ji. He has been quite stressed today. Nothing a good nap and a cuddle wouldn't fix"

Jisung replied with a tired smile, the silence ringing in his ears again when Chan's voice no longer filled the room. He sat up from the bed but that was probably a terrible idea. The room started spinning around him like those awfully cliché movies and his legs unbuckled under the sudden pressure put unto them. However, before his knees hit the floor, he was wrapped in a tight embrace, Chan's right arm wrapped around his waist, giving him the physical support his legs lacked. The leader, still holding Changbin in his left side, was now also hugging Jisung, both of them in either side on him. He slowly lowered them to the floor, Changbin looking at them confused, probably wondering how and why he was dragged unto this. "You know that I wouldn't have hurt myself that much if I actually fell. Stop being Cliché Chan-Hyung" Jisung fainted a fake annoyed face but Chan only laughed, patting his back.

The youngest member met eyes with Changbin this time, and his heart skipped a beat. The older was just silently looking at him, one eye normal and the other pitch black. It felt like he was staring right unto the abyss. Changbin blinked slowly before he turned his head away from him and put it on Chan's left shoulder. Jisung shrugged, looked at Chan again, and allowed his head to rest on Chan's right shoulder. He couldn't see Chan but he could hear his laugh and feel his body shake as he giggled. "Why don't you guys go home hmm?"

Jisung pouted, even if he knew Chan couldn't see him. "What about you hyung?"

A silence followed before his leader's voice resonated again, this time with a tense tone in it "I have a few things to take care of." JIsung nodded, pulling back to see Chan's face. "Seungmin?" Chan nodded slowly, a sad smile on his lips. Jisung opened his mouth a few times before he finally found the right words. "Take care of him Hyung okey? I hate to put this responsibility on your shoulders but I know that I don't have any authority or power to get him out of there. Just- don't be harsh on him while interrogating him. I will be able to feel it if you do, you know that right?" The leader nodded again, patting Jisung's hair. "I will get Seungmin home Sungie. It's a promise."

Changbin lifted his head too and silently stared at the older boy. "Yah, don't look at me like that, I won't take long alright? Order us some pizza and you two can choose a movie" 

"I can cuddle Changbin-hyung all I want right?" the usual glitters and mischief shone in Jisung's eyes and both Chan and Changbin couldn't help snicker a laugh.

Changbin ruffled his hair "You brat come here"


	8. A Red Apple Dramatically Falling On The Floor

Waking up in a white empty room, on a white small bed, with no natural light or window, was not something Kim Seungmin was surprised of.

What was unexpected however, was the emptiness of the room, like those asylum's room he saw in a movie Jisung had forced him to watch. And he had to admit, the magic proof handcuffs who tied him to the bed weren't helping with the growing burning panic in his chest.

Seungmin took a deep breath in. It came out like a hiss out of his throat. He forced his brain to think. _Think think think th-_

_Big and large wings. So big that they hadn't the place to extend in the burning library. One wing golden, sparkling and shiny. The other one, completely black. As dark as ancre. And standing in front of those two wings, Jisung, screaming and panicked. Calling a name that wasn't his. "I'm gonna get you out of here Felix. It's a promise."_

_who- who was Felix?_

Panic bubbled in his chest and he pulled on the handcuffs who were restraining his movements. The sound of metal hitting each other rang along his shattered breathe, imploring him that there was no way out. He panted heavily, his arm falling back down. 

Seungmin blinked multiple times, forcing his attention to focus on something else. He recalled Jisung's wings. 

_A black wing?_ He had never seen one. _But wasn't that a sign of-_

The sound of a door cracking open threw the young man out of his thoughts. He snapped his head up, body recoiling back. _Did_ _the people who put him here came to take him? Were they going to harm him? Were they going to take him to another orphanage? _

But as soon as his eyes met _his_, Seungmin teared up.

He went to stand up, completely forgetting the cuffs until they violently pulled him back. He fell back on the bed and Seungmin really didn't know what was wrong with him, but he just pouted. His eyes filled with tears and he stared at Chan behind glassed eyes. The older male kindly smiled at him, closing the distance between them. Seungmin bit his lower lip, more tears drowning his vision. The relief who washed down on him tightened its hold on his throat, and before he realized, he was fully crying, sobs scratching his throat.

He heard hurried steps, and when he looked up, he met eyes with Chan, expression soft and compassionate. "Seungminnie, hey, don't cry. Please don't. I'm here now okey?" he put a hand against the younger's right cheek, whipping his tears. Seungmin sniffled, and he cursed himself for sounding and acting like a complete baby. But he somehow wasn't able to manage anything in the moment. "A-Are they gonna hurt me?" It was stupid to ask, Seungmin knew that. If they bothered to lock him up, _wherever here was_, they obviously didn't have any pure intentions. 

But Chan smiled softly and kneeled in front of him. "I won't allow a single fly too" his eyes flashed red for a second, burning in something Seungmin could recognize as anger and determination. So Seungmin simply nodded, sniffling again.

He didn't really know Bang Chan, besides the fact that he was Jisung's vampire best friend. The few times they had met, the older had always been the absolute kindest to him. He would always jump totheir window, get inside the room, ruffle Seungmin's hair, and make sure both roommates were safe and well taken care of. But they had never been close enough to share a hug, let along for him to burst in tears and cry like a complete baby.

When he snapped his attention back, Chan was no longer by his side, instead standing by the open door, head out.

"KUPIMOOK BHUWAKUL BAMBAM! You better give me the keys to those handcuffs before I show you what 7years of training are made of" Seungmin faintly heard a male voice shout back, but he couldn't understand what he was saying "I will deal with JYP jeeeez, aren't you guys ashamed of doing this to a VICTIM of the incident? Thought you debuted and became all the wiser and shit" the sound of keys hitting each other resonated in the air as Chan disappeared out of the room for a second. He appeared again, with keys hanging from his fingers as he shouted again"Yah dumbass, that whole room is magic proof. This shows that you haven't been locked in it enough" he started giggling with the person. Seungmin was confused. _Were they actually fighting or just playing around?_ He was about to Call Chan's name before the said boy screamed again, laugh halting "DON'T YOU DARE FINISH THAT SENTENCE! INNOCENT TILL PROVEN GUILTY" he yelled before violently smashing the door closed, making Seungmin slightly jump.

"I swear- why is he even here? Weren't they in a mission or something? Shouldn't they go sleep in their 5stars dorms if they're already finished?" he muttered under his breath, searching for the right key between his hands.

"WE HAVE TO REPORT BACK BEFORE, YOU ASSHOLE. OF COURSE YOU WOULDN'T KNOW THAT WOULD YOU" the previous voice had shouted back, this time clear and hearable. Seungmin expected the older to get angry and be offended but Chan simply chuckled, shaking his head with a smile. He then approached Seungmin quickly, freeing the hostages' hand.

Wincing slightly, Seungmin, rubbed his purple wrist. "I'm honestly not surprised to wake up in a room like this but-" Chan brought a nearby chair the younger hadn't noticed before and sat on it. "Really? Didn't you expect to wake up in a hospital or something?"

He shook his head. "I saw you rescuing me from the fire before I passed out. And- who wouldn't know that JYPE are in a war against hospitals so-" Chan chuckled again, looking down for a second before he lifted his head back up. "I mean- you're right. JYP likes to do everything on his own. We have our own little hospital wing after all" Seungmin bit his lips, starting again where he had stopped. "-But I hadn't expected myself to be handcuffed like some criminal" He said, an eyebrow raised.

Eyeing Chan's body language closely, he noticed how his muscles tensed before he sighed loudly and fell back on the back of the chair. "You are a witch Seungmin aren't you?" Seungmin nodded, urging him to continue. _What did that have to do with anything?_ "And- as you might know, all witches get their power from something." He raised an eyebrow in surprise, but he stayed quiet. "For exemple, Wonpil hyung channels his power from plants. Dahyun from the particules of magic in the air. And so goes on" Chan took a long agonizing break who in reality lasted for no longer than a couple of seconds. "You Seungmin.... Do you know from where you channel your powers?"

Seungmin shook his head, tears building up in his eyes. _What was wrong with him?_

"Fire. From Fire Seungminie"

Seungmin sucked in a breathe, diverting his eyes from Chan's. _Long colons of fire, leaking the walls and fournitures. A women's voice screaming his name. A bloody hand stretched toward him._

"So you think-" his voice broke, and he had to start over. "You think that I did that. That I started the fire in the orphanage. That I wanted to hurt all those innocent people. The kids I _grew up_ with" Anger boiled in his veins, and Seungmin wondered for a second how come he had such a dangerous power sleeping inside his chest when he was so calm in nature.

"No Minnie" _There is it_, Seungmin thought. _First nickname he use for me_. "I don't think that you did it. Not a single second" He left his chair and kneeled down in front of Seungmin again, taking his hands in his own "That fire didn't smell like you. Both I and Changbin can confirm it. Jisung also said that the power it held didn't feel like yours. It didn't hold your mark. But-"

"But the company don't want to believe you" Seungmin finished and Chan nodded. "We weren't even supposed to be their actually. _Adults_, they- they need to do their own _investigation_ and shit" he said with disdain.

Seungmin nodded, looking at his and Chan's intertwined fingers. Tears crawled up his eyes again and he cursed himself for those weird swinging emotions. "Am I gonna stay locked up here then?"

Chan shook his head quickly "No no- of course not" he looked around him at the white walls. "I would never want anyone to stay too long in those rooms. Because they are magic proof- they are so- draining. Makes you feel vulnerable and weak. It completely sucks the life out of you" Chan took a deep sigh and looked at their hands. "I used to stay here a lot you know. Still do actually" he scoffed a tired laugh and looked up, like if he was searching for something. "The teachers used to put us here when we didn't behave, locking us in here for days. Without any food or water. Just a toilet break once a day" he laughed but Seungmin wasn't. It was a sad laugh. "Why would they nourish us? Supernatural beings like us wouldn't die that easily anyway" He stood up, not letting go of Seungmin's hand.

"Come, let's get you out of here"

When they got out, the boy who Chan was fighting, or joking with whatever that was, wasn't there anymore. The rooms similar to his own, were facing each other in a very tight hallway. The walls outside, totally opposite of the inside of the rooms, were colorful and filled with plants who climbed to the walls and up to the ceiling. Flowers from the east boarders, often used to restrain magic, surrounded them.

They walked through more and more lively hallways. Small coffees here, resting rooms there, plants almost everywhere, and very space full and colorful hallways. Honestly, Seungmin had expected JYPE to be a very _white_ place. Like an asylum or a hospital.

"Chan-hyung" he softly called.

The boy glanced at him, humming to encourage him to speak. "Those rooms I was in- the one where they used to lock you in. Do they still use them?" Chan shook his head. "Not to punish innocent underaged trainees anymore. It's free to anyone to use for personal or requested training. No one is crazy enough to actually use them for training though. The more powerful you get, the more painful those rooms are. Besides the fact that they completely drain you from your powers, they also like to distort with your emotions. And if you stay long enough, your memories too. Give you even hallucinations and such. Last time the inspection team came by, couple of years ago, they judged them too cruel for any use besides locking in criminals. But- well JYP only listen to himself. He has a whole other wing for criminals. I don't ever wish you to see that Minni." he smilled at him when he noticed the worry still present in Seungmin's eyes. "Don't worry though, you spent the night in the hospital wing, then was brought there for less than an hour before I came to you." Chan sighed, clealry exasperated. "JYP shouldn't have put you there in the first place though."

Seungmin nodded, pensive. "Hyung , do you still use them for _'personal training'_? Those rooms I mean" There was a silence where Seungmin thought that he wouldn't get a response. Only their feet resonated against the walls, sometimes a couple of trainees or staff passed by them. "I do. I'm crazy enough I guess" He looked at him and smiled.

The next time Seungmin spoke again, they were outside. The cool fresh air of the night caressing their cheeks. A day must have passed since the incident. He hesitated before asking.

"Hyung, who is Felix?"

Chan stopped abruptly. He snapped toward Seungmin, making him slightly jump back.

"What did you say?"

Seungmin gulped. Maybe he shouldn't have asked? _Was it a sensitive topic? _But he couldn't turn back time now. "F-Felix. Jisung called me Felix when we were back in the fire." Chan bit his lips, obviously weighting his words on what was better to say. "Felix is- someone Jisung lost a long time ago" A pang hit the young witch's chest. "D-did he die?" The older shook his head, adverting his eyes from his. "No he didn't." A silence. "Don't ever speak of this to Jisung. It's a very hard subject for him."

Seungmin bit his lips and nodded.

\----

"What the fuck is this cannibal of blood sucker doing here?"

Jisung folded his arms, glaring at the boy facing him.

"And I could ask you the same my dear wingless fly" he folded his legs, not looking at Jisung as he tapped on his phone.

"I literally live here" Jisung scoffed, pressing his back against the couch and folding his arms. "Not true." the other replied, lifting his eyes from his phone. "You aren't allowed to leave that orphanage of yours do you?" he smirked but it fell a second later. "Wait- I heard a fire burned down the place- Don't tell me it was your doing" and here the smirk was back.

Jisung gritted his teeth. "Say that again you bastard"

"JISUNG!" he whipped his head to the hallway, meeting Chan's tired eyes. "Leave Hyunjin alone. Don't swear and be nice. _For once_." Jisung gasped, a hand against his chest. "WHAT? ME?" He pointed a fingure at Hyunjin. "He's the one who started it. Why are you scolding ME?What even is he doing here?"

Hyunjin rolled his eyes. "Chan's my brother. I have every right to be here" Jisung scoffed. "You wish he was."

"He is"

"Is not"

"Is"

"Is Not"

Hyunjin sighed, folding his arms. "I know him longer than you anyway" Jisung raised an eyebrow. "Yeah and? He's just even more tired of you than he is of me"

"Okey that's enough. Stop the both of you" Changbin appeared between the two, eyes still filled with sleep "Chan hyung didn't sleep well last night and Seungmin is still asleep. Go bicker elsewhere"

Jisung's face softened. He sighed and stood up, heading to the kitchen. An apple in hand, he turned again toward Hyunjin who was back on his phone. "You saw Chan hyung didn't you? You can now leave"

Hyunjin didn't even move a muscle. "You should get used to see me around Jisungi" he looked up and smirked. Jisung made a disgusted face to the nickname. "I'm joining JYP"

Jisung's red apple dramatically fell to the floor. His mouth widened in a shocked gap. "You are WHAT?"

"JISUNG! I SAID TO KEEP IT DOWN SEUNGMIN'S ASLEEP" Changbin screamed from the bathroom and Hyunjin exploded in giggles. It was gonna be fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in two days??? Dammmmn. Chapter 7 took time but I wrote chapter 8 in one day. In the meantime, please do check my other works, especially Agape, who I published yesterday!
> 
> ps : BamChan are bffs i swear


	9. One or Two Plushies to Keep The Evil Spirits Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the very long wait! Its been messy lately as you might know.  
I made a longer chapter to excuse myself!!

Seungmin startled awake, eyes opening wide. He shot up from the bed, fog coating his mind. Everything felt out of place as he looked around him, unfamiliarity seeking deep unto his chest. Panic jolted his heart and he frowned, wondering what had suddenly woken him up.

_"JISUNG! I SAID TO KEEP IT DOWN SEUNGMIN'S ASLEEP"_

_Right. That was Changbin's voice._

He ruffled his hair, then ran a hand in his face.

_And he was in Chan's apartment._

Head slowly lifting up, Seungmin sighed in defeat. He was in a small room, laying on the bottom of a bunk bed. At his right, was a large window occupying most of the wall. The sky outside was clear, although bare of any sunlight.

A sigh escaped his lips as memories flooded back. The orphanage that had been his home for as long as he could remember was gone, JYPe was accusing him of setting the building on fire, and he was now being sheltered by his best friend's friends. What a mess had his life became.

_"NO NEED TO SCREAM AT ME"_

His eyes glared at the closed door on his left before he slowly found the courage to stand up.

Jisung was asleep by the time Chan and himself had entered the falling apart apartment they called theirs. Only Changbin had welcomed them with a tired smile, his hand running in Jisung's hair, the said boy fast asleep on his lap.

The last time he had exchanged a normal conversation with Jisung was before the incident. Before the night the fairy had risked his life for him.

Given that, trying to hold Jisung's piercing eyes was nothing less than unbearable. As soon as Seungmin had opened the door, Jisung was already standing a few meters away, head turned toward him like if he had heard him wake up. Which wasn't possible unless he had supernatural hearing. But Jisung was a fairy and that possibility was out of the way.

Seungmin looked away, his hand rubbing the back of his neck anxiously.

"Hmmm... Hi?"

The silence hung on the air as Jisung stayed silent.

Changbin and Hyunjin shared a look. "Morning" the older replied with a polite nod, glancing at him before his eyes flew back to Hyunjin's. "Hyunjin, c'mon we have some paperwork to finish if you want to join JYP"

Seungmin, who was doing his utmost best to ignore Jisung's eyes on him, could only observe in despair as both boys left the apartment. The door cracked shut behind them, leaving a loud silence clinging between the two of them. He lifted his eyes up, sighing.

Jisung's tears filled eyes were looking at him accusingly, and it felt like a blow in his head. His feet moved backward for a long second of startled silence before his feet took him forward, mouth open in a vein attempt of comforting words. However, Jisung's hand weakly pushed his shoulder, shutting down any thought from escaping his parted lips.

"How could you do that?" a tear traced down his cheek and Seungmin could just gap in surprise. "How could you _do that to me_?" Jisung's eyebrows were frowned as he pushed him again slightly harder, making the younger boy take a few steps back. "You have NO right to leave me behind. You can't just decide to give up and leave me ALONE"

Seungmin reached a hand toward him but Jisung stepped back, shaking his head. He turned his back to him, hands flying to his eyes. The sorcerer's heart could only shatter at the hiccups echoing in the deserted appartement. "Jisung you are **_not_** alone. You have 3racha here with you. Chan hyung and Changbin hyung-"

But Jisung swung around before he could finish, eyes tinted red, burning in a barely contained anger as his eyes flashed a pale icy blue "Chan hyung and Changbin hyung have THEIR OWN LIVES. DAMN IT Seungmin, they ARE NOT like you and I" his voice broke and he pressed his hand against his chest. "Changbin hyung is the son of an Alpha. His sister is the next Loona and their pack is one of the **_biggest_** in the east coast." He let his eyes wonder around as he scoffed a breath. "Chan hyung has been raised by the strongest and wealthiest vampire family. He even has Hyunjin as an annoying younger brother to look up after." His eyes stayed wide open like two globes, shining red in sorrow and anger scratching at his chest . He got forced to blink multiple times to keep the tears away. His head was aching and his heart was furiously beating inside his chest. Tears profusely spilled over his red cheeks and he could only whip at them with trembling fingers. "_What do we have Seungmin?_ _What do you and I have?_ We are ORPHANS. We have_ no family_ to protect us or place to call home. We only have _each other_. So _why_-" Seungmin's vision blurred, finding no strength in his arms to whip the newly formed tears away. "_Why_ were you planning on leaving me behind?"

Jisung hiccuped again, eyes squeezing shut and nails digging inside his palms. Seungmin approached him quickly and wrapped his arms under his, slowly and softly. "I'm sorry. I was selfish and I'm sorry" he whispered. Jisung hugged him back, face hidden in his shoulder "I-I am so _scared_. So scared to lose you too"

Seungmin nodded, lips pressed together tightly.

It took one full cup of water, the gently promising smell of coffee and loads of tissues to calm both of their nerves. Jisung's head still ached, sending electrifying signals to Seungmin's unaware brain and he felt only half guilty. They sat in the kitchen's small table, perking sunlight illuminating the wooden table between them.

"Here" Seungmin slowly lowered the mug down and Jisung wrapped his fingers around it, a content smile on his lips. He took a long breath in, lifting his eyes to see his friend sit down in front of him, a similar cup in his hands. He lowered his eyes back down. "I'm sorry for acting like that. It was stupid of me and-"

"No it wasn't"

He lifted his eyes back up. Seungmin was staring at the brown substance, eyes not really seeing it. "You are right, I didn't just get stuck between the flames. I could have escaped but I just- I turned back around when the door was just in front of me." He closed his eyes, shattered oxygen suffocating his lungs. "I- I don't know what had gotten unto me. I just-" he pressed his fingers against his eyes, elbows on the table. "The headmistress said some horrible things and I was- I know it's not a valuable reason- but I've been feeling so _lonely_, so _empty_. I could not imagine a futur for me. Could not see myself wake up again with this dull ache in my chest and keep pretending that I was alright. I- I got tired of it all. I saw no point in living another day. I know that I shouldn't think like this but I-" his voice shut down and he exhaled a deep shaky breath. He heard movements around him, the clatter of a chair against the floor's tiles, and as he looked up, eyes red and puffy, Jisung was sitting in the chair next to him, a broken smile on his face. It was like looking at oneself in the mirror. Everything he was feeling seemed to be replied unto Jisung's expression and body language.And suddenly, It felt like he was thrown back to the orphanage, to those couple of times he failed an exam badly, and Jisung would come up to him, a forced smile on his lips who only managed to make him look sadder as he lifted up his sheet, a violent red F painting the white blank spot beside his name like blood scattered in a crime seen. And Seungmin remembered feeling slightly better each time at the one decorating his own sheet.

But Jisung had always been stronger than he was. Braver. Bolder.

"You don't have to explain. I understand. I understand Minnie" he said above a whisper, like if scared to be heard. He sighed and pulled him unto another hug, gently patting his back. Seungmin accepted the warmth, trying to match Jisung's breathing with his own. "I know how that feels. Remember? You and I are alike" He pulled back, eyes fixed unto his. "But Seungmin, there is so much in the world to see. So much to experience. I want to go to the beach during winter and shiver under the sea breeze. I want to feel that fresh morning breeze Chan hyung talk about so much swipe my hair away as I pretend to be frustrated at it. I want to drink coffee in a warm cozy library. I want to swim in the sea, feel my skin burn under the sun. I want to maybe raise a dog, or a cat whatever it is. I want to argue with Changbin hyung about which movie to watch. I want to write and compose music with Chan hyung and Changbin hyung and label it 3racha. I want to tease and piss off Hyunjin. I want to go to the library with you and pretend that I'm annoyed and not interested only to bring back more books than you. I want to become a well respected and impressive JYPE's soldier. I want to inspire other faes. I want to do so many stupid and useless things and experience all of them. Above all, I want to experience all those things with you and do all the things _you_ want to do. So I can't give up. And neither can you." He whipped Seungmin's stray tear, letting his fall off his chin. "Death is just- so terribly final Seungmin-ah"

Seungmin whipped at his eyes, back straightening. "You're rig-right. I- I'm sorry for thinking that way. I will try. I will-" He bit his lower lip, looking for the right words but Jisung only nodded with a sad smile. "I know Minni, I know. I will too. Let do it together hmm?" Neither moved for a moment who seemed longer than a couple of seconds before Seungmin sighed tiredly, relief washing over his body before he turned back in his seat. He took a big gulp of his coffee who ended up burning the tip of his tongue. Jisung sighed and slowly raised to go back to his seat facing him. "And don't be sorry. Don't ever be sorry for what you're feeling. Your feelings are valid. They always are" he looked down. "That's at least what Chan hyung says" 

The wizard nodded his head, breathing out a laugh. "But- Jisung- How did you find me? How did you know that I was even there? Weren't you on a holiday break with Chan Hyung and Changbin hyung?"

Jisung's hands tightened around his cup."I know and I should have taken you with me. I shouldn't have left you behind." Seungmin scoffed a laugh that made him look up. "Jisung, I always stay back during vacations and holidays. And you did too before joining JYP. It's no big deal, it's called an orphanage for a reason" he leaned forward. "What is not normal is how you even figured out I was in danger while you weren't even there. How it felt like you knew I was in the library while the firefighters haven't even found me? And don't try to lie to me"

Seungmin noticed how Jisung's posture stiffened. He looked everywhere but at him, fingers intertwining together.

"Did you ever hear about the SoulLink?"

The slightly younger boy frowned. "Of course I did. It's the strongest and most inexplicable magic in the fairy world. Also called _AGAPE_, It emotionally and mentally links two souls. It's a magic representation of the purest and highest form of love and trust two people can share. _'Selfless, sacrificial, and unconditional; one who persists no matter the circumstance.'_Most of the other supernatural beings think that it is shared with two lovers but in fact, the rate and chances of developing such a link with your partner is the lowest. In most cases, it's formed between family and very close friends like childhood fr-" Seungmin's words halted, eyes widening as realization drowned in him. "No" he gasped, mouth opening wide.

Jisung would have laughed if he wasn't so scared himself. "Yes Minni. I have that link with Chan hyung and Changbin hyung and- I didn't know that it had formed between us too. I realized the night of the incident. I woke up in the middle of the night, feeling completely suffocated." Seungmin tried to say something but he stayed mute, mouth opening and shutting repeatedly as words died in the back of his throat before the thought could properly form. "I know it's- scary and weird and you are probably disgusted and- I'm sorry I will try to break it if you want. I can-"

Seungmin grabbed Jisung's shaking hands, making him look up. "Hey- hey calm down will you? We are sharing the most powerful magic in the fae world and you think I would be _disgusted? _Jisung I'm _honored_. Besides, the feeling need to be mutual for the link to even form. I care about you just as much as you care about me and I'm sorry to say this, but I'm thankful that the link woke you up in the middle of the night" he smirked and Jisung breathed out a laugh, blinking back the emerging tears. "You saved my life dude" He breathed out in incredulousness. "So how does it work?" he asked, eyes twinkling with excitement.

Jisung giggled "Basically, we will be able to feel each other's emotions when they are very intense and in distress. Your soul basically sends signals of help to mine that I will be able to feel. For exemple, during missions, because we all are on high alert, I can always exactly tell Chan hyung's and Changbin hyung's locations, if they're injured or not." he sighed and stood up. "Again, it's a very mysterious magic and the way it works is very unexpected and impredictible. It changes from bond to the other" he went toward the sink where he put his empty mug before he turned around again.

"How is it that I can feel the bond if I'm not a fae?" Seungmin's head was turned around, eyebrows frowned.

"Because I am. It doesn't work between two no-faes obviously.It requires one of the two to be one. And because I am the fae, I will be able to feel the link more than you, at times when you don't." He threw a smile toward Seungmin. "In theory at least. Sometimes I can swear Chan hyung can feel the link more than me. It's impressive all the things he can tell about me that I can't tell about him" Jisung turned his head toward the door. "But for exemple, I can tell that Chan hyung is gonna pass this door in about 2minutes . This is something no-faes can't tell. They can smell you or feel your aura close by but not through the SoulLink. When you are close by, I can feel your presence and can tell stuff like if you're awake or asleep "

Seungmin nodded slowly. "That's-"

"Creepy?"

He threw a glare to Jisung. "Fascinating." he corrected.

Jisung bit his lips, sitting back down on the chair. "I just want you to know that you can refuse the SoulLink." Seungmin opened his mouth as if to say something but Jisung cut him out. "No listen to me. Refusing the Link doesn't make you a bad person nor is it mean or offensive. You have every right to not want to share your emotions with someone else. Even if that person is your family or whatever. So I want you to think about what feels right to you."

Seungmin looked down, nodding slowly.

"If you decide to refuse the Link, it won't be painful or anything. It might take a while but the magic will slowly fade." Jisung smiled gently. "If you decide to accept it, you won't be able to feel everything at once. The link needs time to develop and adjust. You might be watching TV and suddenly feel an itch in your hand. That would be me who burned my fingers because I was trying to make pancakes"

Seungmin scoffed a laugh and Jisung grinned. "You don't have to worry about taking a decision, the magic will feel what you really want and it will act depending on how you feel"

The witch boy took a deep breathe in, allowing air to fill his lungs. "Do-I mean- Will we share a certain visible link?" he lifted his eyes toward the fae, eyebrows frowned. He tried not to look at the magic emprigned in dark ink in Jisung's left wrist, faintly peeking from his sleeve. Through all the years they shared that room together back in the orphanage, Seungmin knew it wasn't a simple human tattoo the other held in his skin. He somehow never dared to ask. At first, it was because they were merely simple roommates and nothing more, and who was he to be curious about something that wasn't his business? Then it was because Seungmin always held that anxiety of speaking up, of asking, of starting a conversation, even when he started befriending the infamous Han Jisung. But maybe these were all pathetic excuses he used to calm his feverish thoughts. He wasn't sure what was that feeling twisting his lungs every time he looked at the majestic black tattoo. He couldn't put a name on what and why Jisung's wrist tattoo always brought so much mixed emotions inside him. There was just- such a powerful and mysterious magic emanating from it.

Jisung shook his head, a big grin on his lips. "Well, yes and no, and that's the actual thrilling part about the SoulLink" He stood from his chair, the wood reaking under the pressure.

Seungmin frowned his eyebrows, his eyes and body slowly following him as he went toward the door of the apartment, opening it wide.

"Hyung! Hi!"

Chan blinked at Jisung's enthusiastic and sudden voice, his hand halfway in the air, keys in hand. He was about to speak when the younger grabbed his wrist and dragged him inside, his eyes sparkling. "Hyung, let summon _Orphic_ for a bit hmm? I want Seungmin to see" the fae said as he held both of Chan's hands.

Seungmin who had joined them in the hallway shyly recoiled back when the vampire's eyes met his, forcing an awkward smile.

Chan smiled back before reporting his attention on Jisung who already had his eyes closed. He followed his lead, focusing hard like the fae had taught him too so many times.

"_Amor Vincit Omnia, Amor Vincit Omnia, AmorVincitOmnia_" Seungmin watched them mutter, eyebrows frowning. Suddenly, a ball of light started forming from their chest, shining right above their hearts. It glowed and grew in size, both lights getting closer together until they merged and formed one, in the middle of their joined hands. As they continued the spell, _love conquers all, _from what Seungmin could translate_, _the globe of magic shaped itself while growing in size. Soon, he could see large and splendid wings made of light forming on the back of what looked like a bird of the size of an eagle. Its head however was bigger, big round owl eyes staring without blinking. The bird let escape a pleased croak, flapping its wings before the confinement of the small apartment forced it to close them around its feathered body. The bird's clawed feet rested on Chan's right shoulder, croaking again loudly.It was at the same time weird and fascinating to stare at the animal. It was made of light, and although he could see through its body, the power it emitted washed through Seungmin's skull in big, strong waves.

Seungmin gasped, a simple "Woahh" erupting from his jammed thoughts.

Jisung and Chan opened their eyes at the same time, a pleased smile on both of their lips. Jisung reached forward toward the animal and petted its head. The bird's head leaned forward, its eyes closing and forming two shaped crescents. "This baby here is called_ Orphic_. It means-"

"_Mysterious and entrancing; beyond ordinary understanding_" Seungmin finishes for him, eyes wide open in amazement as he slowly approaches the trio in the hallway. Chan sent a smile toward him, head carefully turned and body stiff as not to disturb the animal on his right shoulder. "You can pet her, she can sense that we both care for you so she would never hurt you" Seungmin bit his lower lips at the word _both_, blinking back the tears before they could properly form on the tip of his eyelids. He never had, or rather remembered, having anyone care for him. Then, for the longest time, Jisung had been the only presence of love and comfort around him. Just the prospect of having another person, _Bang Chan_ at that, carefor him, was nothing less than overwhelming. How do you deal with _two people_ there for you, worrying about you, giving a damn on whatever you still breathed the next morning or not?

He breathed out loudly, trying to clear his mind. Orphic blinked at him with her large moon shaped eyes, waiting for his palm to rest on her translucent feathers. Touching her felt as weird as he expected. It felt like touching a real bird, he could feel the warmness and the softness of the living creature, but at the same time he could also sense the sparkles and the light who formed the body.

"She can also take the form of a real bird with flesh and blood and all. It takes a lot of magic though, so SoulSpirits show up almost always in the form of light." Seungmin turned his attention toward Jisung, slowly retreating his hand. 

Chan gave his palm to the bird, letting it chew his fingers. "Can you guys summon one yet?" he asked, glancing at both of them from either side of him.

Seungmin looked expectedly at Jisung but he simply shook his head with a small pout. "Not yet, the bond is still very new and fragile. Remember how long it took for mine and Changbin's spirit to show up and form? Way longer after Orphic" He gave his arm to the spirit, letting her cling on his forearm and happily rest its head on Jisung's soft hair. "SoulSpirits comes in all kind of forms, the range of their appearance is really huge and mysterious. Orphic is an Owgle like you can see,a merge between an eagle and an owl. A said very protective and majestic night animal. Changbin's and I spirit is another completely different type, you'll get to see it one day" he finished, comically winking at Seungmin who only scoffed at him.

"We should let her take some fresh air, it's been a while" the fae mumbled, throwing a glance to Chan who was now in the leaving room, a mac out on the small table in front of him as he sat on the floor. The leader only nodded, his eyes focused on the screen. "Sure. I need you guys for a very important improvised meeting, can you call Changbin and Hyunjin and ask them to come home quickly?"

Jisung walked toward the leaving room's small window, the apartment devoid of any balcony. "No need, they are already in the staircase" Orphic flew as soon as the fresh morning air hit her face, a loud screech left behind her.

Seungmin watched as Changbin and Hyunjin passed the door a few seconds later. Jisung was right after all. He watched them exchange a couple of words, Hyunjin and Jisung completely ignoring each other. Changbin's face immediately hardened at the mention of a meeting, Hyunjin's whole body tensing. Seungmin stayed paralyzed in the hallway where Chan and Jisung had left him, the familiar feeling of being out of place, of not belonging, scratching his insides.

"Minnie?"

It was Chan, dimples on full display.

"C'mon, we have a mission to talk about"

Seungmin yet again found himself blinking back the tears. Yeah. It felt good not being invisible in people's eyes. Not being a faceless kid in a tarnished orphanage. 

Jisung grabbed his hand when they were close enough and he dragged him to sit beside him on the floor, right in front of the vampire.

"So here's the mission." Chan said, his pale fingers flying on the keyboard before he turned the screen toward them. There, in a picture zoomed in for them, stood what looked like an abandoned manor, the grass and plants of the forest he was located in climbing on its walls and decorating its ceiling green. "This manor is located in the _Domus_ forest, toward the south of the country, in Busan to be precise. Domus as you might know means-"

"It's a type of house who used to be occupied by wealthy and upper classed supernaturals" Seungmin said, examining the picture closely.

"Exactly." Chan said nodding before he turned the laptop back to himself. "This forest used to be the propriety of the elves and faes. Both lived in it peacefully for a decade or two"

Hyunjin frowned his eyebrows. "Wait- the elves and faes? Living together without killing each other? Is that even possible?"

Jisung scoffed in disdain and he waited for Hyunjin's stupefied eyes to snap toward him before continuing. "Are you seriously that dumb?"

"Jisung-"

The faery ignored Chan's threatening tone as he continued glaring at the young vampire. "What hyung? Who isn't aware ofone of THE biggest war amongst our world? The one who killed and destroyed THOUSANDS of lives? It's common sense he's just stu-"

"It's not like you know a single thing about the vampires history either so shut your sparkly little mouth before I make you" Hyunjin retorted back, cheeks slightly red probably from both embarrassment and anger. 

"I'd like to see you try-" Jisung started but Chan slammed his palms on the table, making everyone slightly jump. "We are in the middle of a meeting to talk about a mission. The slightest thing both of you can do is behave when we talk about work"

Changbin loudly sighed and Seungmin threw a glance at Hyunjin who held his head down.

"The elves and faes used to be the closestand friendliest beings in all the supernatural world. They have a lot of similarities when it comes to magic and share a lot of history. When some problems started to arise between both clans, that forest was given to them to share as a kind of peace treaty. They lived there like Chan hyung said for a couple of decades before war eventually started and that forest, once a home of many, became a strategic point to attack the other. Everyone had to leave their home and disert it. One day it was a town full of life in the middle of the forest, the next day, it's a completely abandoned town." Seungmin said, lifting his eyes who had been unconsciously stuck on the table toward Hyunjin with who he shared a stare.

"And it's been that way for about 60 years if not more. Why are we going there? What kind of mission is there in an abandoned forest? Not even werewolves dare to claim that forest nor do they even approach it. It is said to be cursed" Changbin asked, frowning his eyebrows at their leader.

"Well, that's exactly the thing" Chan said, sighing. He lifted his eyes toward him. "The Yang family is one of the founding families in Busan. Long story short, they had a certain '_disagreement_' with a certain hunter clan who hired some witches" he captured his lower lip with his right fang and took a moment to continue. Seungmin felt a shiver run down his spin. He looked- troubled. "The- witches... They cursed their middle son"

"Did- did he die?" Seungmin glanced at Hyunjin who was sitting beside Chan.

"No no he didn't. Well he might as well be, or close to be at this point. He has been stuck in a coma for about a year now" he ruffled his fair, frustrated. "The Yang family contacted JYP as a last resort." He glanced at each one of them for a long second. "We are their last hope. The kid's last chance to life. If we don't succeed, they're gonna unplug him"

A tense silence fell between them until Changbin's scoffed a laugh of disbelief. "No pressure" he murmured, fidgeting his fingers. 

"How do we even do to save that kid's life? What does all of this have to do with the _Domus_ forest?" Jisung perked.

"When you use magic, you always need a source. Remember when I said that right Seungmin?" Chan asked and the younger boy nodded. "Mine come from fire" he mumbled pensively and Chan nodded. "Exactly. In order to put such a powerful spell, they needed a source. Just their powers wasn't enough. It takes a great deal of magic to curse a normal powerless human. In order to curse someone as powerful as the Yang, a family of pureblood elves for centuries, you need an external source of magic"

"The Domus forest. The abandoned town there" Seungmin's eyes were wide as he lifted his eyes toward Chan's. "That's what they used to channel the curse.Abandoned places which used to belong to supernatural beings have a very raw magic residing in them. And places where a tragedy happened are-"

"A nest of magic yes. Extremely dark magic if I may precise. The manor I showed you earlier, it used to belong to a mixed family. The husband was a fae and his wife an elf. They were- they were found dead one morning in their house. They were killed by someone who wanted the declaration of war between the two kinds for sure. The war was declared after that incident and the civilians were asked to leave the forest and the safety of their homes shortly after." Chan closed his laptop shut, the sudden unexpected action making everyone slightly jump. "The witches who casted the curse surely used that manor as a source. It's our first trail to figure out a way to save the middle child of the Yang family."

Jisung melted back on the chair, face pale and jaw tense. "So what? We just go take a vacation in that hunted super cursed manor where a family was killed and hope we discover a way to save that kid who have been stuck in a coma for what?" he glanced at the open file beside Chan's mac. "almost a year?"

Chan stared at him unblinking. "Exactly"

Everyone blinked twice.

"W-what?" Hyunjin muttered.

Chan sat up, putting back his laptop in his black bag and straightening his back who cracked at the uncomfortable position he was sitting in. "Exactly what you said Jisung-ah! That's exactly what we're gonna do." he said before he started heading to his room.

"HYUNG!" gasped in shock Changbin, still stuck on the floor watching Chan's figure disappear in a room.

"Pack your stuff kids! Also, maybe take a plushie or two, it'll help you sleep at night and keep the evil spirits away" he shouted back from his and Changbin's shared room.

"Hopefully" he mumbled, glaring at Changbin's snorlax as it grinned at him from its place in his hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just love to put Jisung and Hyunjin's at each others throat lmao. Also I've been struggling with the story summary, I keep changing it and can't settle on one UGHH


	10. The Open Sign of a Store That Never Welcomed Anyone Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I planned to write more than this but I was already at almost 3K words before I realized so I prefered to give this to you guys instead of making you wait further. Hope you enjoy!

The trees were running at full speed, sweeping across the window in a dust of blurry green.

It was calling Changbin, entangling him in its majesty and carefully wrapping its spell around his throat until it suddenly pulled at its string and strangled him to its wildness.

The young wolf takes deep breath in through his nose, trying hard to focus on the disgusting smell in the train : the smoke flying toward him from the man sitting behind him, the melting chocolate exposed to the sun left by the kid sleeping against the window, the faint metallic smell of the couple blood bags in Hyunjin's suitcase, too little to last for two grown up vampires.

But his eyes stays wide open, stuck on the unreachable forest.

Forcing his head to snap away, his lips stretchs on a gentle smile at the sight in front of him. Jisung's hair was covering his closed eyes, his head resting on Hyunjin's, the vampire as far gone in dreamland as the faery. He pulls his phone out, snapping a quick precise picture.

"Blackmail purposes" he says, responding to Chan's frowned eyebrows to his right.

Chan smirks, pulling out his own phone. "You never know when you'll need it" he mumbles.

Seungmin who was sitting in the row behind them, turns around in his seat and puck his head out in their direction. "You two are horrible" he says "horrible genius" he take out his white canon camera and snaps a quick picture. "A shame I don't have a phone but at least this baby is here"

Changbin throws behind his shoulder a glance toward him. "If you can't afford a phone, how did you manage to buy that? Isn't a phone more of a priority?" He watches Seungmin carefully pack it back in his bag.

"This was a gift I received" a small smile draw itself on Seungmin's lips as he stares at the sleeping Jisung. "Jisung had gathered some prize money he had received from a mission he did with you guys. He gave the money to a teacher in the institute and asked him to buy me the best camera he could find." His eyes turnstoward Changbin who is still looking at him. "The teacher added his own money and brought it for me" He scoffs, putting his eyes down. "I'm sorry this is getting kind of emotional. It just means so much to me, it's my most precious possession" there is sparks in his eyes.

"No don't apologize" Changbin attempts a smile. "It's a beautiful camera. It sweets you well"

Chan turns around in his seat to smile at Seungmin. "It does."

The young wizard grins back, his cheeks dusted red. "Why do they hate each other so much anyway?" It was clear that he was attempting to change the subject but none of the older boys comments on it as they turns back on their seats to face the two sleeping males. "It looks like there's a lot of bad blood between them"

Changbin sighs, a silence draws between them for a moment, only the quite chatters of the passengers around them and the moving train gently rocking the atmosphere. "They are too similar. In way too much points" He could feel Seungmin's eyes on him but he keeps his arms tightly folded on his chest, his stare fixed on the sleeping fae. "For a very long time, they only had Chan hyung as a parental figure." he ignores Chan's indignated and surprised gasp at his right. "They both care too much about him and seek too much for his approval. For his full attention." He throw a small smile to Seungmin, a vain attempt to ease the tense atmosphere. "Something like that."

His face suddenly distorts in pain when Chan hit his arm. "Yah" his eyebrows are frowned. "Stop saying nonsense"

Changbin throw him back a smirk. "Am I hyung?" he hold his stare for a long moment but Changbin was never one to willingly fight his leader when he could avoid it. He sighs and turns his face toward the window. "Anyway. I'm gonna take a nap"

His head rests against the cold window, his arms still tightly wrapped on his chest. This time, he tries to focus on the smell of the forest through the glass.

\----

Changbin shivers, his whole body trembling for a long second as if a sudden cold breeze had made its way inside his bones.

But Changbin is a wolf. Wolfs don't feel the biting cold of winter.

His feet are stuck at the verge of the forest, the long and imposing trees enchanting him in. Magic is washing over him in big waves, gripping the wildness within him and pulling it in the front seat of his mind.

"Binnie hyung? Aren't you coming?"

He snaps his eyes unto focus. Hyunjin had stopped walking, his body half turned back toward him. The others were already a couple of meters ahead, Jisung and Seungmin consciously looking around them as they followed behind Chan's lead.

"Y-yeah. Yeah I'm coming" He gulps. He adjusts his backpack, pulls the sleeve of his sport bag back on his right shoulder and hurriedly follows after them.

The grass scrunches under each step he takes. The afternoon breeze lifts the intoxicating smell of flowers and fresh grown berries up to his senses. The sunlight make its way between the tree branches, coloring the leaves a warm orange. A river is flooding somewhere up ahead in his left, the running water sounding like a siren's harp. The leaves and grass are thick and imposing, making it hard to walk through. He looks up to the sky. The trees are so high that he wouldn't have been able to see the end of them if he was a mere human. As they get further unto the core of the forest, the sunlights make themselves rarer, the trees' branches and leaves too large to allow anything inside its peaceful dim light.

Changbin takes a deep breath in, but it only heightens his senses and make everything so much unbearable. He decides to bit his lips instead and clenches his hands.

"Binnie? You can turn if you want too you know. You don't have to hold it in" Chan was speaking to his right, and the young wolf forces his attention to focus on his hyung's blonde hair and warm eyes. "No I can't." He diverts his head to the path ahead. "The magic in this forest is too- _raw"_ he glances at his leader who is still looking at him. The later's eyes flashes red for the split of a second. _Odd_. Changbin thinks. But not so much after further thinking. He sighs. "I'm scared that if I let myself turn, I won't be able to control my wolf" from the corner of his eye, he sees something red flash. He fully turns his head toward Chan just in time to see his iris switch back to normal. "I know what you mean" the older mumbles.

Changbin turns his head away as he bits the inside of his mouth.

They continue walking in silence, Seungmin and Hyunjin quiet chatters barley reaching his ears between the roars of the forest : its intoxicating smells, the river's chant, the occasional warm sunlight, the flapping sound of the birds wings against the leaves and the stinging magic reigning in the air and clouding his lungs.

He tries to focus on the conversation behind him, on Hyunjin's and Seungmin's soft voices.

"So what? Do you live in a big creepy mansion like those cliche rich noble vampires movies?"

Hyunjin's laugh resonates around them, wrapping them in a protective bubble of warmness for a too short moment. "No, none of that. We live in a pretty white tiny house with a beautiful garden. I also have a cute small dog named kkami."

Seungmin's mouth turns unto a shaped zero as he contemplates the new information. "That sounds like a pretty normal life"

Hyunjin laughs again, but this time, it sounds hollow. "You know, we have feelings too and can feel pain like everyone else. Just because we have a 'special diet' doesn't make us monsters. I grew up like any other kid you know, and just recently fully turned unto a vampire. I'm learning to get used to this whole magic living inside me just like you"

Seungmin nods slowly, eyes calculatingly watching Hyunjin's expression. He smiles when the vampire meet his stare. "I'm glad you had a nice and cozy home to grow up in"

Hyunjin's expression slowly turns blank and he nods once. "Yeah.... Home...." Changbin can feel his absent and lost eyes on his back, and he knows without looking that his whole body language is demolished, muscles stiff and back slightly bended, like a lost kicked pup.

There's a shift in the air and no one says anything further more.

Everyone could feel the the weight of magic getting heavier and heavier, significating they were getting closer and closer to the village. The first person who speaks is Chan as he stops at the edge of a cliff, at the end the forest. "Here we are" he breathes out.

Changbin walks closer to him, and he has to swallow back a gasp when he sees what Chan is seing. A village could be seen bellow them, encircled by the forest they just stepped out of. A huge mansion stood on the other side of where they were standing, its back facing where the forest starts again. The other house looks tiny from their spots. Chan puts a hand around Hyunjin's shoulders, pulling him toward his chest when he got too close to the edge.

"Alright, let jump"

Seungmin nods, eyes still staring downward toward the village. "yeah let's do tha- wait WHAT? JUMP?" he snaps his head toward Chan who only giggles whole heartedly, his right dimple digging itself in his cheek. Hyunjin's eyes were wide, although less than the wizard's. Jisung's and Changbin's expressions were indifferent. "You and Jisung can teleport of course. Me, Hyunjin and Changbin will jump" He throws a glance over the cliff, were the grass was bright green. It was a couple meters high. "The hight is alright"

Hyunjin bits his lip, not looking at Chan. "Still... Isn't it a bit too high? Even for us?" his voice is uncertain and shaky, but he has to look up when Chan turns toward him and fix him with the familiar icy stare. "Never be scared to fall Hyunjin" He turns his stare to Seungmin. "Be frightened to not be able to stand back up" He let his arm fall from the vampire's shoulders and turns around to face the cliff again. "And for that not to happen, all it takes is a little boldness and some courage"

In a quick mention, Chan is already in the air, blond hair swiping against the wind as he falls. Changbin jumps half a second after his leader, not even a dust of fear present in his movements. Hyunjin curse under his breathe but he is jumping after the wolf, his muscles tense and face hardening.

Seungmin feels warmth spread in his right hand and he looks up to Jisung's grin. He knows all too well that he was the only reason the fae didn't jump at the exact same time as Changbin. He smiles nonetheless. "And a lot of magic in your blood of course" the fae finishs for Chan. Seungmin nods as Jisung disappears unto thin air. He closes his eyes and wishes to stop being such a burden. The magic engulfs him.

There's another shift in the air.

\----

The air was stiff and heavy. Crowded.

It felt like it was laughing at the emptiness of the town.

The silence was hollow, nothing compared to the previous loudness of the forest.

As Changbin walks in the streets, he feels a weight press against his heart. The place has been deserted for _years _but he could almost still hear the laughters of the kids chasing each others, almost hear the marchants calling the town's people over to buy some apples and good old vegetables, almost see the faeries fly above him, their wings shining and glittering under the sunlights, almost feel the elves' magic pulse in his veins as they enchants the flowers to bloom. Almost. And it made it all so much painful. Because there was no laugh intertwined in the air. There was no marchants eager to sell their stock of the day. No elf to bloom flowers in the now wild vegetation.

And no faery brave and proud enough to let its wings fly above.

His heart aches at the last thought. _Jisung_.

He sighs, stops walking and looks around him.

"Should we go inside some houses? See if we can find anything helpful"

Seungmin, who is standing beside him, nods and he follows him when they enter the closest house.

Changbin is honestly glad he got paired up with the young wizard. He didn't really care with who Chan was going to put him with when they decided to part to explore furthermore the town, he was comfortable with everyone in the team after all. Sure, he was just getting to really know Seungmin but they had known each other through Jisung for years, even if they mostly only exchanged greetings and such. But he shall be damned if he got paired with both Hyunjin and Jisung. Thankfully, the leader had comically grabbed both of their ear simultaneously, and thrown a smirk at Seungmin and Changbin. "I'm taking these two. I can't trust them anywhere far away from me" he had said as he ignored both of their loud complaints from either side of him and repeated pleads of _"ouch ouch ouch hyung hyung please it hurts-ouch ouch- LOOK I can't help it if Hwang's a whinny bitc- OUW HYUNG"_

Changbin smiles to himself. Yeah. He was glad he got paired with Seungmin.

"Do you know any spell? You know something to knock a ghost or two" he whispers, almost as if he was scared to be found out by the inexistant owners or to wake up the long gone inhabitants. He avoids a fallen cabinet who was almost obstructing the window they got in through. "Hmmm yeah you can say that. Me and Jisung used to practice our magic on each other a lot. One time, I almost broke his left arm, he couldn't move it for a week" he says, a comical smile on his lips.

Changbin stops trying to walk through the destroyed living room, turning around to face the younger. "So that was YOU?" his eyes are wide in shock but Seungmin only smiles wider. "He whined and complained for _weeks_ no end and he made me and Chan hyung his puppets for a _month_." The wizard raises his shoulders before he let them fall "He got what he deserves. He had broken my ankle the week before" He resumes walking, stepping over a doll on the dirty carpet. "Besides, he was provoking me and his arm wasn't even _that_ hurt."

"_Never anger Kim Seungmin :_ Noted. " the wolf mutters under his breath, watching Seungmin's back advance further unto the house, entering the hallway through a doll in their left.

"Like I was saying, I know how to kick some ass here and there but I don't know how that would work on ghosts. Why are you asking anyway?"

Changbin stops again, and Seungmin has to turns toward him to see the disbelief in his expression. "To protect me? Duh!" Seungmin doesn't move for a long second even after Changbin had started walking again, cursing lowly when he almost falls on a pile of old clothes. When he realizes that the wolf isn't joking, he scoffs with a smile, and follows after him.

The houses they explored offered all the same results on both their side and Chan's : deception.The whole town seemed to have been frozen in time : clothes hung in their hanger ready to be worn, books filling dusted shelves, asking to be read, toys forgotten on deserted playgrounds, family pictures lonely standing above the fireplace, eager to be seen, but no eye ever falling on them, and the open sign of a store that never welcomed anyone again. A dark and sad sight for sure, but nothing that could help free a cursed young man stuck in a coma.

"So.... What do we do now?" Hyunjin asks irritated, rubbing his right red ear.

Chan sighs, looking up at the manor in front of them. "Let get settled and sleep for the night. We'll see if there's really some kind of ghosts hunting this place. If we're lucky, we might even come across a demon or two" He walks up the stairs, ignoring the gasps erupting from behind him.

"HYUNG! You can't possibly be serious right now" Jisung's shoulders are recoiled on themselves, making himself looks smaller. 

"We didn't find anything! Why should we spend the night here?" Hyunjin shouts back, fear lacing his voice.

Chan stops climbing the stairs and turns around, looking down at them. "Then, was I joking when I said to pack for several nights? Hmm?" He runs a hand in his hair, clearly frustrated. "What do you suggest we do, both of you?" he snaps, glaring at Hyunjin and Jisung. Both takes a step back from surprise. Chan was never the one to get easily angry, even when they would seriously mess up, he would rather calmly explain it to them with cold icy eyes and stern face than shout. "That we go tell the Yang family that their last chance to save their son is gone? That they should just go ahead and unplug their beloved child after spending a whole year waiting for him, crying for him, taking care of him, and spending millions of dollars trying to wake him?" He takes a step down the stairs, and everyone recoils back. "I'm not leaving this damned town until I find a way to break the curse." He points an angry finger towards the village. " I'm not giving up on the kid"

A sunlight filters through the thick grey clouds and shines on Chan's sparkling red iris.

"I'm not giving up on Yang Jeongin"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wrote this chapter a bit differently from the previous ones. I don't know if you noticed, but I usually mainly write in past tense, but this time I went more for the present tense. I would really appreciate it if you would tell me if there's any difference, if you prefer it this way or like the past chapters.
> 
> Thanks for reading and come say hi and yell at me in my dms, my twt is @felix_9felicis


	11. Three Crying Boys and A Single Daffodil

Bang Chan turns around and starts climbing back the stairs toward the big and large doors, his whole posture stiff and tense, Changbin hot on his hills, a proud smirk playing on his lips.

Seungmin smiles and pat Jisung on the shoulder, who throw him a terrorized look, before following behind the older two.

It happens to be easy to push the door open despite its heavy weight and the dust accumulated from not being moved in years. It screams as it let Chan enter, as if to protest to be disturbed after so many decades of hibernation.

The first thing Chan notices when he puts a confident step inside the big manor is the huge stairs facing him. They are tall and imposing and he can't see what's beyond them, only that at some point, they divide unto two, a narrow right flight of stairs and a left one. The carpet must have been red once upon a time, but it's now brown with multiple dark spots. The air is clouded with dust, ripping a cough from Changbin who had just entered behind his leader. To their left, tall and imposing doors are open to let the new comers admire a dining room with a long table who has nothing more to offer than rust and a dead small bird on its darkened wood. To their right, there’s no door to welcome them unto the next room, only long imposing colons indicating that they were leaving the main hall. There's no saying if it used to be a living room or a ballroom as there's no whatsoever furniture’s. Long windows covering the whole wall on either side of them and a dead fireplace were the only survivors of a room who once must have held much more for the eye to see. Now, it was only filled with the echoes of the roaring wind and their tired footsteps.

"I think we can get a fire started here" Chan says as he bends down and blows at the dust. "Seungmin and Jisung can you guys go get some wood?" He stands back up and hits his hands on his jeans to remove the remaining dust. "I'm sure Minnie can summon a little fire in no time" He attempts an encouraging smile toward the wizard whose only response is a shaky nod and pressed lips before he disappears with Jisung.

There's nothing much to see in the rest of the manor, hallways and hallways of rotted and destroyed bedrooms, a kitchen downstairs hidden behind the huge stairs in the main hall and probably an attic and a basement somewhere. "Do you think that there's secret passages somewhere in this house?"

Chan climbs the narrow stairs toward the attic, squeezing his eyes to avoid the accumulated dust. "There's one in the main bedroom, the owners used it when they tried to run away when they realized that their lives were in danger. They were dragged out of it though and didn't manage to escape" He exhales air from his mouth, straightened his back when he can stand on his feet. He turns around and give his hand to Hyunjin to help him climb. "I inspected it but couldn't find anything important"

Both nods, expressions tense. "I've heard from the explorers and tourists who came here before us that at witch's hours, you can still hear the wife's screams as she is dragged out of her room."

Hyunjin and Changbin both stop walking, and Chan smirks when he hears their heart pick up. "Hyung you're kidding right?" The leader turns his head to the young wolf, his smirk widening. "Why would I be? This place has been abandoned for decades. And a tragedy happened exactly in his house. Do you really believe that no Djinn has found its home here?" Hyunjin furiously bits his lips and Changbin exhales a shaky breath. "Don't worry though" Chan turns around and starts adventuring further unto the attic. "Besides the print of a bloody hand on the wall, I didn't find anything in the main bedroom"

"Hyung!" Changbin whines and both vampires giggle. "Okey the last part was a lie. It was just hands prints on the dust. Like if someone had been dragged" His face this time is serious and neither of the two younger boys dares to say anything further.

There's nothing to see in the room, just a biting cold like no other place in the house. Chan strangely shivers, and slowly approaches the window on the right corner, further from the stairs going down.

"Chan hyung? There's nothing here, we would have sensed it if there was. We're going to explore the basement is that alright?"

Chan doesn't turn his head to respond to Changbin's raspy voice. "Yeah... Be careful" He feels more than he hears them leave the room. For some odd reason, he can't tear his eyes from the small window with a tarnished blue bench under it. He finishes closing the distance towards it and throws a glance outside. The window is facing the outskirt of the forest and he finds himself staring at it unblinking. He doesn’t know how much time has passed while he just stood there, unmoving and blankly staring outside the window, but when he comes back to reality, Changbin has a hand on his shoulder, a worried look in his black eyes. It's only then that Chan feels the life run again, can hear Seungmin and Jisung downstairs, can smell the blood bags in their luggage, can feel the dust fog his lungs. He takes a deep breath in, but it only makes it harder to breathe and he finds himself bended down, trying to stop the fist of uncontrollable coughs shaking his whole body.

"-ung? Hyung? Are you alright? How long have you been standing there?" Changbin is tapping his back and Chan tries to stand back up and ignore the burning in his chest. "S-Sorry, it's alright. Let go down" he clears his throat when he notices his voice is raspy and broken. He makes a move to go past Changbin but the wolf firmly holds his shoulder. "Hyung- Your eyes-"

Chan lifts his hand to them, like if he can touch his red iris. He flinches back before he can try too and attempts a comforting smile. "I'm probably just a bit hungry. Or maybe it's about the magic who's a bit unstable here. Don't worry"

"But hyung-"

Chan runs away before Changbin can finish his sentence. He meets Seungmin, Jisung and Hyunjin downstairs, sitting on some sheet they had brought with them, around the now burning flames in the chimney.

"Oh hyung, found anything?" Jisung's cheeks are red from the cold, and he moves aside to give Chan some place. "Nothing. Was it hard to turn on the fire?" He says, eyeing Seungmin who just shrugs. "It wasn't hard to summon it but a bit to control it. The magic is really strong here"

Chan nods slowly, removing his backpack and sitting it between his legs. "Hyunjin? What about the basement?"

"Besides the fact that it's as creepy as a banshee in crisis" Hyunjin starts when Changbin enters the room, his footstep echoing against the walls. "We didn't find anything" the wolf finishes for him. He takes place behind Seungmin and he rests his back against his, closing his eyes and sighing.

Chan nods, biting his lower lip. He searches in his backpack for a while before he pulls out a plastic bag. Inside, carefully wrapped in tissues, is multiple small piece of bread, still hot from the heat emanating from them. "Here" He gives one to each one of them before he starts searching again and he pulls out three bottles of water.

Jisung bits the bread, his cheeks cutely puffing like helium balloons. He notices the moment Chan suddenly halt in his movement from where he was searching something in Hyunjin’s small blue suitcase. He can feel a bulb of doubt, hesitation and anxiety boiling in his chest through the SoulLink and he slowly lowers his bread, blinking his big round eyes at his leader who is throwing glances at Seungmin.

"Minnie does it bothers you if me and Hyunjin drink here? We can go outside if it makes you sick or uncomfortable"

Seungmin turns his head from where he was fixing the fire. He frowns his eyebrows. "Wha-" his eyes falls on the blood bag picking out from the suitcase, half resting on Chan's hand and he starts rapidly blinking, shaking his hands. Changbin growls when he loses balance as the wizard straighten his posture. "No no hyung of course not. Drink comfortably, I don't bother, you have to eat too"

Hyunjin mumbles a thank you as he eagerly grabs the blood bag from Chan's hand. Jisung can feel the anxiety slowly fade but it's now his own rage who takes its place. Chan suddenly lifts his eyes toward the fae and it's now his turn to frown his eyebrows. _He must have felt it,_Jisung thinks. Forcing himself to not glare at a certain Hwang, he bits in his bread and his eyes goes down. However, he can still feel Chan's stare on him, and he tries to calm himself, _SoulLink be damned. _

Hyunjin finishes all his blood bag until the plastic is all squeezed and crunched. Chan on the other hand, Jisung notices, takes a moment of hesitation before he lets his fangs grow and sharpen. The veins under his eyes become more apparent and his eyes turns red when he sinks his teeth in. His drinking is quick and starved, but he stops when the bag is only half done, and he stores it back safely inside the suitcase. Jisung bits his lip. He wanted to say something about it but he had already gotten too much unto trouble with Chan today alone. 

"Can I get another bag? Just a bit more hyung please"

Jisung brings his head down, his hair falling on his eyes. He squeezes his hands tightly.

"I'm sorry Hyunjin you know I can't. We didn't receive enough blood bags this month in the company and I didn't register you yet, so we have barely enough to last for the mission" Chan mumbles, eyes apologizing. "I'm sorry hyung" the young vampire mutters.

Chan shakes his head. "No don't be. I am sorry. We were in such a hurry we couldn't go back home to grab some of your own bags. It's my fault"

"I-"

Jisung abruptly stands up, cutting Hyunjin before he could form any word. He isn't looking at Chan when he says "I'm gonna get some air"

He leaves silently even if he can feel everyone's eyes on his retreating back.

He doesn’t get far away, not having any other strength than to close the door and let his back fall on it, the metallic handle tightly squeezed against his palm. His head falls back, eyes closing gently. The night breeze is freezing in his lungs and the dust is still heavy in the air, but he takes a deep breath in, trying to calm his nerves. It's almost suffocating, and his heart painfully smashes in his rib cage, but he tries to focus on something else.

There's a family of sunflowers in the east part of the forest, and he focuses to smell their aura: _pure thought_, _dedication, adoration and dedicated love. _A couple of Hydrangea were growing a hundred meters north_; heartfelt emotions, frigidity and heartlessness. _A Hyacinth was just blooming somewhere close toward his right; _Jealousy _is what she stands for_. _A particular lavender Heathers stood beside a river toward his right side; _Admiration_, _Solitude_, the only two meanings he could think of. He straightens his back and looks down at his right. He slowly crunches down, his eyes fixed on a crack in the wall, there, a single yellow flower who had proudly bloomed from the roughness of the gravel.

Jisung doesn't look up when he hears the door slowly open.

"Daffodil" he says

The person stops beside him, his hands hidden in his black pants' pockets. Jisung looks up at Changbin who is looking at the flower. "It usually stands for _joy _and _happiness_" Changbin meet his eyes and Jisung turns his head away, going back to stare at the flower. "But this one is alone. Therefore, she loses her meaning and gain a new one" He sigh and stand back up, brushing past the wolf to go back inside the manor.

"Then-" Jisung halts, looking back at him. "Then, what does she stands up for now? What does a single Daffodil stand for?"

Jisung smiles sadly, and it's only when he turns his head around does he answer "_Misfortune_" he whispers before the darkness of the house engulf him.

\----

Gentle muffled cries are what wake Chan up.

When he first arrived in the Hwang’s household, Hyunjin was barely 10, a young boy afraid of his own shadow. He was all shy smiles and excited laughs during the day but once the night came, like if it was there to bit him, there was nothing less than uncontrollable trembling and streams of translucent tears spilling on his cheeks. He would get out of his bed in the middle of the night, pass his parent’s bedroom door, go down the stairs up until the kitchen who he would cross with warm feet against cold tiles, and go down another flies of stairs to Chan’s bedroom door in the basement. There, squeezed tightly in a ball, he would quietly cry for hours. It was strange to the thirteen years old Chan that this new kid came all the way down to his room only to silently cry and never bother to knock or wake him up. So the older boy adapted to the new circumstances. He would sometimes stay awake for hours, staring at his half-closed door, scared to fall asleep and not hear Hyunjin come. Eventually, his body became accustomed to wake up to the smallest sound of cries.

But tonight, in the middle of nowhere in a disserted ghost town at the center of kilometers and kilometers of wild unclaimed forest, it wasn’t Hyunjin’s cries who woke him up.

Chan growls when he slowly sits up. It wasn’t the first time he had to sleep on the bare floor, and this time he was lucky enough to have a sleeping bag, but everything about this mission wasn’t like usual. He quickly blinks the sleep away as he stares around him. Jisung was curled against Changbin’s chest, the oldest’s arm protectively wrapped around him. The fae was never a cuddly sleeper, but tonight, it seemed to be different. On Jisung’s right side, was Seungmin whose face he couldn’t see. Hyunjin was fast asleep on Changbin’s left side and he himself had been lying down beside the young vampire’s left.

By the sound of their heartbeat, Chan is sure that they are all heavily fast asleep. His head quickly snaps up when a sound reach his sensitive ears again.

Gentle whimpers.

Chan doesn’t really realize that he is standing again in front of the attic’s door until the gentle cries turns unto sobs. He blinks his eyes multiple times, and he slowly climbs to the dark room. The only light illuminating the place is from the moon filtering through the window.

Chan blinks multiple times to make sure that he is seeing right. On the blue bench right below the window, is sitting a small male figure. The boy couldn’t be older than Changbin or Jisung but he couldn’t really tell. He had his hands pressed against his face, his back bended and his whole body shaking.

“Hello?”

The boy doesn’t make a movement to move, only continues crying.

Chan takes a step forward. “Hey? Are you alright there?” When he is close enough to touch him if he reached his hand toward him, he carefully speaks again. “What are you doing here?”

The crying stops, and the boy slowly removes his hands from his face. His head slightly tilts toward Chan, but he isn’t staring at him, but behind him at something the older can’t see. His stare looks terrorized and it’s only in that half second that Chan’s ears picks up on the sound of footsteps behind him.

He violently snaps around, but there’s nothing behind him, not even the faint sound of a heartbeat. When he turns around again, the boy is not there anymore. However, there’s eyes staring at him outside the window, and Chan can clearly see him disappear between the wild leaves of the trees.

“SHI-“

Chan would have passed through the window and jumped right out of it to follow the boy if the frame wasn’t too small to let his body pass. So he runs down the stairs, sweat pearling his forehead. He only stops when he almost runs Hyunjin over.

“Hyung? What’s wrong? Where were you?”

Behind him, stood the rest, eyebrows frowning and body tense.

“Why are you guys awake?” He pants like If he had been running kilometers.

“We heard footsteps and a loud THUD above our heads” Seugmin whispers in a single breath. “I felt something wrong in the SoulLink” Jisung whispers.

Chan nods briefly and walks past them. “Hyunjin, follow me. We are going to search the outskirt of the forest for a young boy around your age. Don’t go past 3.5KM in.” He turns around to face Changbin when he reaches the front door. “Changbin, Jisung, Seungmin, you three stay here and look out if the boy comes back or anything else strange. We won’t take long”

Under his last order, he runs to the back of the house, at the edge of the forest. His eyes turn red and he jumps on the closest tree branch, not wasting a single second to jump to the next one. He doesn’t have to focus much to feel Hyunjin’s presence, his aura is like a second instinct in the back of his head. The wind is pushing his clothes back, hollowly chanting in his ears. He jumps to the ground and continues running faster than a normal human could see. He tries to focus on any human heartbeat, any trace of fear lingering in the air, but there’s nothing for him to look out for. Chan runs a couple more meters dancing around the trees and branches. But the forest is as devoid that night as it ever has been since the tragedy a decade ago. He stops and stares ahead of him unto the darkness of the nigh.  
  
“Anything?”

Hyunjin, standing on a branch on the tree in his right-side sighs before answering.

“Not a single owl around” 

Chan sighs, briefly lifting his eyes. “Let go back”

\---

“Have you found anything?” Seungmin asks when he sees the two vampires pass the doors even if he already knows the answer.

Hyunjin shakes his head, a sad frown on his lips.

Chan is sweating heavily but when Jisung’s eyes are on him, he shivers.

“Minni, turn on the fire please” the fae orders, his arms wrapped around his leader to safely guide him toward the fireplace.

They gather around Chan, who shivers again, face pale.

“Hyung… What happened? Why weren’t you with us when we woke up?” Jisung’s voice on his right side is gentle and barely above a whisper.

“I- I heard someone cry” Chan glances at Hyunjin who is sitting behind him. “I thought it was Hyunjin” he looks away and he rests his eyes on the swirling fire. “But it wasn’t. In- In the attic there was a- a boy. Sitting on the bench under the window” Changbin’s eyebrows are frowned but he doesn’t cut his leader’s frail run of thoughts. “He looked barely older than any of us here, and he was- crying. His hands hidden in his face. I turned around because I heard footsteps but when I stared back, the boy was gone. I looked out the window and he was staring at me.” His eyes fill with tears and Jisung tightens his hold on Chan’s arms. “His eyes, his tears, he- he looked so-” he bits his lower lip and he don’t have the energy to find the right words. The young boy looked more than scared, more than desperate, more than sad. He looked like the thirteen years old Chan sleeping in the basement of the Hwang’s home.

Chan rests his forehead on his knees, and he closes his eyes.

He can hear the cries again, but this time, it’s not Hyunjin’s nor it is the mysterious boy’s in the attic.

It’s far away tears, resonating in the back of his head, from a time that has only his memory as a witness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My last exam is in two days, I'll have more time and energy to write yay! I will try to finish this whole ghost town thing by next chapter!!
> 
> As always, thank you for reading!! 
> 
> My twt is felix_9felicis come scream at me in my dms


	12. A Giggle Above The Cries

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to Lyn, thank you so much for your amazinG comments they really be giving me strength and motivation to write. Thank you to everyone who is still reading this and gave me kudos I hope I won’t disappoint.
> 
> Letzzz geeeeet it!

The next morning, Chan didn’t move from under the thin blanket he was covered in.

He stayed curled up like a newborn in the arms of a mother who was no more. His whole body was numb, heavy and weak. Just the thought of moving a single muscle sent a shiver down his spine. He had opened his eyes a few times, blurry flames danced in his vision each time to welcome him. They reminded him of Seungmin, and it warmed his cold bones in this big vast almost soulless mansion.

He faintly felt his team’s presence around him when the sun filtered through the half-broken windows. He heard their voices like if they came from a dark and hollow tunnel, felt their ghost like hands on his back and cheek. But he didn’t move. He couldn’t.

And then, he couldn’t really tell when, Jisung face appeared in front of him, expression pained and sorrowful. It was the guilt of transmitting the pain he was in to the young fae through the SoulLink that got him moving. Chan forced his eyes to stay open and with a grump, he pushed his body unto a sitting position.

Jisung’s hands are now quickly on his back, helping him to rest his weight on the cold wall behind him. He vaguely acknowledges that they are alone. “Hyung please, have some blood. _Please_.” The familiar tempting metallic smell was under his nose in a second and Chan weakly pushes the bag away, turning his head to the side. “N-no. We need the blood. Hyunjin- Hyunjin he-“

Chan smelt the repulsive smell of anger before Jisung exploded. “HYUNJIN HYUNJIN HYUNJIN! YOU ONLY HAS HIM UNDER YOUR TONGUE” the fae recoils back, fire burning his aura. Chan stares at him for a long second, eyes serious and blank. Jisung deflates. “I-I mean, you also have to take care of yourself Hyung. Do you know how agonizing is it to constantly feel you in pain and starving? To see you not having a single care about your own health and _life?”_

“I never asked you to feel all those emotions. I told you from the first day that having to share my soul will be nothing but a torture for you. But you insisted. You wanted this SoulLink. Don’t blame me for suffering from whatever I’m feeling right now” Chan’s voice is calm and cold, but it hits Jisung like a hurricane. He immediately regrets his choice of words, guilt and hurt washing through the link in big strong waves. In such power that he was sure Changbin could feel it from the forest where he is wandering with Seungmin.

“I am not blaming you for anything. I would be damned to force you to feel anything that isn’t what you are going through right now. Back at that time I needed some closure, and you knew that. You knew why I needed that bond with someone. You accepted my pain as much as I accepted yours and you know that this isn’t about the SoulLink” Jisung bits his lips and looks straight unto Chan’s eyes. “I’m just worried about you hyung. So worried. I know that you didn’t feed during that Blood Trial because you were training Hyunjin” he says his name with disdain, his face crunching. “It’s been over a month since you properly drank fully and this- _place _is affecting you more than any of us. Please. Please. Just drink it. For me. If you don’t, I’m going to cut my palm open and force you to drink. I’ll show you how tempting fae’s blood is.” There wasn’t a single atom of lie in the young fae heartbeat, so Chan forces his hands to grasp the blood bag, hesitating for a second more before sinking his fangs in.

Jisung sighs heavily, positioning himself so he was sitting right beside his leader, back against the wall.

The silence was thick but not uncomfortable. It was almost unpleasant to have the young fae break it.

“Why did you let him join us?” Chan lifts an eyebrow, letting his hands fall on his lap with the small plastic bag. Jisung meets his stare when he speaks again. “Hyunjin. Why did you let him join the team?” his expression is calm but somehow accusing. Chan turns his head away, taking another small sip from the bag.

“He is talented, and we need someone like him in the team. He is also my responsibility. Hyunjin is someone I need to take care of.”

He hears Jisung’s voice, but he doesn’t turn his head toward him, eyes lost on the floor. “You don’t have too.”

“I do” there’s a silence. “I own that to him. To his parents.”

“His parents made you sleep in the basement and treated you like a stranger, always making sure that you _knew _that you weren’t part of their family. They turned you unto what you hate most and made you their personal _slave_” Jisung’s words were full of venom but Chan found no strength to feel hurt or to react the slightest. He just kept staring at the floor, biting at the plastic bag more than drinking from it. He just felt _numb_. 

“Mr. and Mrs. Hwang put a roof above my head. They gave a warm blanket and a hot soup to a shivering orphan boy. They gave me an education and the chance to join JYPE, an elite company. I own them my life. They could have let me die with my parent’s corpse, but they didn’t. They saved and raised the son of hunters, _murderers_, who came for their family’s life” His voice shivered with emotions for the split of a couple seconds before the numbness filled his bones again. “Hyunjin is- he is someone I had to accept with this new life I was given, like everything else; the fact that I had became a vampire, orphan and alone in a foreign country living with the people who killed my parents”

There’s a loud silence before a third presence makes itself known.

_“Why didn’t you tell me?”_

Chan jumps in a startle, his reactions half of a second slower than usual.

Hyunjin is standing by the door, the remaining sunlight illuminating his body. There’s an indescribable pain hunting his heartbeats. Chan quickly stands up, almost loses his balance, before he is slowly followed by Jisung standing behind him. “Hyunjin-”

“Why did you never tell me that my parents were the ones that killed yours? Why didn’t you tell me that it was the reason you lived with us? Why didn’t you tell me that you never saw me as nothing more than the son of your parent’s murderers? Why didn’t you tell me that I was nothing but a burden weighting you down? Why-”

“Hyunjin you aren’t-” Chan voice is trembling, and he takes a step forward. “WHY DID YOU LET ME LIVE SO PATHITACLLY? WHY DID YOU LET ME CLING UNTO YOU AND HAVE MY WHOLE LIFE TURN AROUND YOU WHEN YOU _DESPISE _ME?” Hyunjin’s veins are popping from his neck and his eyes are bright red. Chan takes a step back, startled.

“_Because it wasn’t your burden to hold_” his voice is pleading, begging to be heard, to be _understood_. His breathe is heavy but he continues, taking a step forward. “My tragedy is not yours to live with. I don’t hate you Hyunjin. I could never.”

“You’re lying. You-” he takes a step back, but Chan advances. “Am I? Am I lying to you? I taught you how to listen to heartbeats for lies. Tell me, am I lying to you right now?”

There’s a silence and no movements before Hyunjin slowly shakes his head, tears threatening to spill from his eyes.

“You aren’t the son of murderers. _I am_. My parents were hunters. You know that” He waits for the young vampire to nod before he continues. “They were after you and your parents’ lives. What your parents did was self-defense.” Chan takes another step forward and he now can reach Hyunjin if he wants too. “It is true what I told Jisung. You were and still are my responsibility. But so is everyone in this room. That doesn’t make me love you any less. Your laughs and presence numbed all the pain in my miserable life. While I had no one any longer, you made me want to move forward. To become strong and to protect you. You are one of the reasons I’m still here today” Chan runs a hand in his bleached hair, sighing. “My parent’s crime for taking innocent’s lives. Your parent’s crime for depriving and ripping a kid from the only people in his life. Both are sins you have nothing to pay for.”

Chan can see the moment all Hyunjin’s anger turns unto sadness and exhaustions. He takes another tentative step but the young vampire recoils back. “Then why do you have to pay for them? If I don’t have anything to do with my parent’s and yours’ atrocities, why are you the only one suffering from them?” A rough tear falls from his right eye. Chan tries to reach out, but the young vampire almost runs away. “I- I need some time alone.” He starts climbing up the stairs. “I will be in one of the closest room upstairs, I won’t run away or do anything foolish to threaten _your _mission don’t worry” he doesn’t wait for an answer, and all Chan can do is stare at his retreating body.

He sighs heavily and slowly turns around. Changbin and Seungmin are staring back at him from the door and he notices that the night has come. He doesn’t have the strength to look at Jisung in the eyes until the young boy speaks first.

“Hyung-”

Chan’s anger crumbles over him like heavy rain in a stormy night.

“Don’t you _dare _speak to me Han Jisung” he doesn’t raise his voice, but It doesn’t make him less threatening. Jisung takes a step back, eyes glassy. “You _knew _Hyunjin was listening to our conversation. You _knew _he was there. You _used _my moment of weakness to make me say stuff you _know _I didn’t want Hyunjin to know. You _used _the fact that I was weak and starved and couldn’t focus enough to feel his presence to make me say what you wanted.” He takes a step toward him and he is almost satisfied to feel Jisung’s pain, but he couldn’t care less. He was suffocating. “You _used _me”

“No- No I-” Jisung’s tears are now painting his cheeks, his hands are slightly shaking and he can’t look at Chan in the eye.

“_Dare _tell me that this wasn’t what you wanted Jisung. That you didn’t plan all of this. _Dare _say it.” Chan’s iris flash red. Jisung stays silent, biting his lower lip and staring at his feet to keep the tears at bay. “SAY IT”

Jisung violently recoils back and both Changbin and Seungmin move closer between the two. “HE NEEDED TO KNOW. You would have hidden this forever from him!” He snaps his eyes toward his leader but he immediately regrets. “No” Chan shakes his head. “There’s not an ounce in you that cares about what Hyunjin feels or might be feeling right now. About the consequences of your actions. YOU needed him to know Jisung. YOU and not HIM. You acted out of pure selfishness” 

Chan turns around and starts climbing the stairs.

He doesn’t turn around even when he hears Jisung crumble to the floor, Changbin and Seungmin barely catching him in time.

\---

When Chan opens his eyes, he is in the attic, sitting on the floor and back pressed against the door. He doesn’t know how he got here, but it’s the middle of the night, and the moon is high in the starless sky.

When the soft cries first reach his ears, it’s Jisung who first comes to his mind. Then, it’s Hyunjin. And finally, it’s himself. But as his eyes starts focusing in the darkness and the sleep wash off him, he recognizes the familiar figure on the blue bench bellow the window.

The boy is in the same position as he was in yesterday, face hidden in his hands as his sobs shake his bended back.

Chan sits up slowly and he starts tentatively approaching the boy. When there’s no movement or voice to stop him, he takes place beside him, back to the window.

“You know, you remind me of me.” The cries slowly stop, letting place to soft sniffling but Chan doesn’t turn his head to meet his eyes. He let his fixed on the darkness in front of him. “I used to cry every single night when I was first taken unto what was going to become my new home. I had just been turned into a vampire, lost my parents, and about everything that I had ever known.” He lifts his eyes to the ceiling to hold back the tears from falling. “I thought that the whole world was against me” he scoffs and turns his head to his right to meet the young boy’s curious eyes. “Then I joined JYP and I met so many new people. So many that had been through way worse than I did, and I realized how ungrateful I had been, crying my eyes out while I had a roof above my head and people kind enough to smile at me and feed me.” Chan sighs, looking back down. “Do you know why Hyunjin came crying to my bedroom’s door every night even If he never knocked or tried to wake me up? Because just my presence, in the other side of a wooden door, was enough for him to release the heavy tension and burden his small heart held”

Chan fully turns around now, staring right unto the boy’s eyes. “You won’t have to cry alone in this cursed town anymore. I will help you get back home.”

The boy only blinks at him slowly.

“Your name is _Yang Jeongin _isn’t it?”

No expression betrays his emotions. He simply blinks again.

“You need to go back to your body Jeongin-ah. Your family is waiting for you”

Jeongin looks down at his hands who are laying on his laps. He slowly lifts them and position them in front of Chan’s eyes.

They are chained, the vampire notices for the first time, heavy metal locking his wrists and chains laying on the dirty floor.

Then, Jeongin starts staring behind Chan like the first time they had met. There’s the heavy sound of footsteps behind him but when he turns around, there’s no one there. His skin is darkened from mud and dust and his wrist are bright red.

Jeongin also is gone, he notices.

But this time, when Chan stares outside the window, he doesn’t meet any eyes.

\---

Two days had passed since that night.

Each morning had been the same ever since they arrived. Seungmin, Changbin and Hyunjin would go explore the forest, Chan would stay in the mansion wandering around the multiple rooms and hidden passages while Jisung adventured more unto the town and abandoned buildings. But their efforts were all fruitless and all their energy and patience was running thin. The tension between them constantly grew and everyone was becoming short tempered, almost jumping at each other’s throat for the stupidest and smallest reasons. Chan and Hyunjin exchanged very brief words, but neither of them had spoken to Jisung who had been awfully quiet, even with Changbin and Seungmin.

The night of their fourth day looked like any other one before.

The moon was high in the dark sky. Stars shone like little diamonds hung in the air. The plants and flowers of the forest swapped their regular smell across the town to lure it to sleep. Jisung takes a deep breath in, the familiarity of older days making his skin crawl in an unrecognizable nostalgia. He doesn’t bother to close the front door behind him when he approaches Hyunjin’s back sitting on the top stairs. He sits beside him and don’t turn his head toward his to meet his questioning eyes. Jisung’s legs are brought to his chest and he looks so small, squeezed in a ball like if he wants the floor below him to swallow him. Hyunjin only stares.

“I have always been so jealous of you” the few words blur his vision in unspilled tears and the young fae immediately blinks them away. “You always had everything I ever wanted. You still do. A loving and wealthy family, a place to call home, a caring older brother like Chan hyung who would cross hell for you, and even a cute little dog” Jisung tearily scoffs. “And you always act like- like they are for granted. Like life own you everything you have.” He doesn’t move, only slowly rocks himself. He knows Hyunjin is silently examining his face, but he doesn’t find the strength to respond to his stare. “You always took Chan-hyung for granted. You take the fact that he looks after you throughout all these years and sacrifices his time and health to train you as if he _had _to do it. Did you even realize that he didn’t properly feed for almost two months now? A few days ago, you were so occupied by your little self, asking for more blood bags while Hyung didn’t even finish his to save it for _you_. You were with him during the last monthly Blood Trial, but you didn’t bother to make sure he drank too while training you. I know that, because that night he returned with dark bags under his eyes. You don’t notice those, the dark bags on his pale skin, the sparkle in his eyes that is no more, the faint trembling of his fingers, the lost staring and his exhausted smile. You don’t notice everything life has given you. And you aren’t grateful for it.” His voice is even, and rather than being accusing, it is sad. As if in that moment, he was truly only saddened by the young vampire’s actions rather than being angry at him.

Jisung finds the strength to turn his head right and stare at Hyunjin but he isn’t looking at him, his eyebrows are frowned as he glares at the darkness thoughtfully. “That’s why you did what you did that day. You needed me to know, to show me, that welcoming Chan hyung in our family wasn’t doing him charity. It was a gift for me, a chance of forgiveness to my parents who killed a kid’s whole world, the people meant to protect him, love him and raise him.” Hyunjin turns his head and meet his eyes. It feels like the first time that they are really looking at each other.

“It was a selfish thing to do” Jisung says, turning his head away and resting his chin on his knees.

“It was” Hyunjin confirms. “But it was necessary”

There’s a silence filled by the voices of the night and a cricket signing somewhere to their right.

“Do you know what I blame you for?” Jisung glance at him but Hyunjin doesn’t turn his head. There’s no bit to his voice. It would almost be soothing if they weren’t in their current situation. “You think that the whole world is responsible for your tragedy. That everyone has a responsibility towards you and towards what happened to you.” He looks at him for a moment before his eyes run away. “Your headmistress isn’t guilty of what had been done to you. The orphanage isn’t. The kids in there aren’t either. I am not. We do not deserve your swing of rage. Chan and Changbin won’t tell you this. Seungmin knows too little too. Heck, I barely know what had been done to you. But I’m going to tell you Jisung, because I need you to know this as much as you needed me to hear that day” He turns towards him and stares him in the eyes, a finger pointed to his chest. “Your anger is misplaced. It had been for years. You couldn’t reach and curse the people who did that to you, so you threw your grief and punishment to everyone around you. None of the people in this realm are responsible nor are guilty for that black wing of yours.”

Jisung’s face breaks in tears but Hyunjin doesn’t stop. “Sometimes, you can’t take your revenge. You can’t make them pay for what they did to you. You have to believe that one day, sooner or later, in this world or in the other, in this life or in the next one, _they will pay for their crimes_. And you need to embrace your pain and learn to live with it because it will never completely leave.”

The fae’s tears are sparkling when they fall on the ground. A sob scratches his throat when it escapes his mouth and all he has the strength to do is let his head fall as he cries. It comes naturally when Hyunjin wraps his arms around him, but it isn’t any less awkward. He taps his back hesitantly as his own tears threaten to spill. All trace of uncomfortableness is thrown out the window when both of them are ugly crying in each other’s arms, and it seems that the whole forest has stopped breathing in a pure sign of respect and understanding.

Suddenly the earth starts violently trembling, a growl who comes from deep under the ground. Both boys stand up, letting go of each other, sadness morphing unto surprise and fear when the vibrations become louder.

“Wh-?”

Before Jisung has the chance to properly form his thoughts, Chan is out of the door, eyes wide in surprise. Changbin and Seungmin quickly follows after him. They all gather in a small circle and the growling is getting so loud that they would have to scream to hear each other.

And as suddenly as the earthquake had started, its stops. Everyone’s breath is stuck inside their lungs, none of them daring to move.

Then, a sound rips through the unfamiliar hollow silence.

It isn’t the familiar cries Chan hears every night at that precise time.

It’s a gentle giggle, melodic and full of joy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A very long and heavy chapter.
> 
> As always, thank you for reading!!
> 
> Also please don't be too angry at my Jisungie he really just care so much abt Chan.


	13. Define Home

A young teenage boy is standing a few feet ahead of them, a large grin illuminating his face. Dimples shine in his cheeks and it feels like he is glowing in the darkness of the night. His skin is pale, and although Chan, Jisung, Changbin, Hyunjin and Seungmin could see him in flesh and bones, there is this feeling emanating from him that just doesn't feel _real_. It was like those ghosts in horror movies who could have been mistaken as normal humans but who everyone knew weren’t actually _there_.

Chan takes a hesitant step forward. “Yang Jeongin? Right?”

Jeongin giggles again in the shocked silence, nodding his head quickly, his hands hidden behind his back.

“It’s good to finally not hear you cry. Your laugh is really pretty and much better to hear” Chan smiles, climbing down the stairs slowly as not to scare the boy away. But Jeongin doesn’t show any trace of fear or intentions to move from his place. He simply swings on his feet, dimples never fading.

“It’s- the ghost you told us about? The one that cries every night in the attic?” Changbin whispers, standing closer to Seungmin who stays frozen besides Jisung and Hyunjin.

“Jeongin is not a ghost” Chan says when he finishes climbing down the stairs, a couple of feet away from the said boy. He tilts his head. “He’s a banshee”

The older vampire doesn’t have to turn around to see their shocked expressions. He can hear it in the way their heartbeats quicken and their breathes shatters.

“A wha-” Seungmin scoffs in disbelief. “No way.” His voice tries to be convincing but there’s a hint of doubt in it.

“_That’s why it was so easy to curse me_” Jeongin’s voice is soft and melodic, but the sudden action makes everyone take a step back from surprise. Jeongin’s smile flatters a bit, but it doesn’t disappear. “I’m the most sensitive to everything that the eye does not see. Everything that is not supposed to be seen beyond the veil. A _Banshee._” This time, his smile is forced and just the sight of it makes the rest four members climb down the stairs until they are standing behind their leader. They seemed to finally realize that the young boy was no threat and as human as them. “In other words, I’m the most vulnerable in my family, and that’s why the witches choose me. It was easier to lock me here and the curse was stronger due to my link to the world beyond the veil”

Jisung’s voice is soft when he speaks, and he tries not to flinch when Jeongin’s eyes turns toward him. “That’s why your soul is imprisoned here. But why- why didn’t you reach for help when we first came? Why only now? Why didn’t you speak to anyone who came here and tried to save you for the past year?”

Jeongin’s wide and genuine smile is back on his lips when he removes his hands from his back, and proudly show them to Chan. Only red lines circling his writs holds the proof of handcuffs who used to be there, and no chain lingers behind them. “Because I was restrained. I couldn’t speak or properly think. I was just trapped in an overwhelming darkness filled with foreign distorted voices and fog. But your voice cleared itself a path in my mind and all I could hear was you.” His eyes are fixed on Chan’s who tries to hold his stare as much as he can, blinking back the tears. “Your honestly, empathy and selflessness were strong enough that I managed to appear to you. That you heard my cries when no one else had before you.” A tear rolls down his left cheek, but he doesn’t move to whip it. “Maybe it is because you could relate to my sadness. Maybe it’s because you have this instinct to put the people around you first. Maybe it has to do with something in your blood. I don’t know, but you're one of a kind Bang Chan”

Chan starts playing with his now red left ear, eyes downcast in embarrassment and the sight is so endearing that it tears a smile from everyone’s lips. 

“I’m sure I don’t have anything to do with-” he vaguely gestures at Jeongin’s free wrists. “Your freedom? Are you free now? Or do you know what we can do in order to bring you back to your body?”

Jeongin’s smile gets wider when no one thinks it’s possible. “You were part of the equation hyung. But you’re right, you weren’t the one that broke the curse.” His smile turns unto a knowing smirk. He tilts his head and turns his fox like eyes to two persons in particular, standing right behind Chan.

There’s a moment of confused silence.

“Is he looking at me? Why is he looking at me?” Jisung whispers to Hyunjin at his right between his lips. His eyes don’t leave the Banshee’s and neither does Hyunjin’s. “I think he’s looking at me as well. Why is he looking at us?”

Chan turns his head toward them and stare at them with frowned eyebrows mirroring Changbin’s and Seungmin’s action. He stares back at Jeongin when he asks, “Why are you looking at them?”

“To break such a curse, dark magic of this scale, you need to equal it with something as much positively powerful. Pure magic.” His voice wavers in emotions and although he is still smiling, his eyes lost a bit of their light. No one dares to cut him, so he continues. “But as I’m sure you know; pure magic is at the same time extremely hard to create and really easy too.” He looks up at the night sky and the stars seem to respond to him, shining brighter. “It’s a magic that no spell can make. It comes from one’s heart. From a pure honest action." Jeongin's eyes travels back down towards Jisung and Hyunjin. "I'm sure it must have been the hardest thing to do for both of them, but the vampire and the fae opened their hearts to each other. They overcome the barrier that stood tall and strong between them and talked out their disagreement in pure honesty and free will. The magic it created was so strong that it illuminated a path for me, enough so that I could escape"

Chan throw a glance at the duo behind him and he can't help the shocked expression painting his traits. "Something as small as that broke a curse so strong so many failed to break?"

"Don't underestimate the power of feelings Bang Chan." Jeongin throw a knowing look at all of them. "I'm sure you noticed that you all had been more frustrated and at each other's throat since you came here" Jisung looks down at his feet, not risking meeting anyone's eyes. The shame that had resulted from his careless actions was still scratching his heart, making it hard to breathe. But apparently, something he never thought he could forgive himself for doing had resulted positively. "This place has its way to middle with her guests' hearts. It takes control of the darkest part of your heart and it uses it against you. I can see that the fae and vampire both have a lot of unspoken painful memories lingering to their soul. Their relationship initially wasn’t good so I’m sure It was especially hard for them. Their whole instincts and bodies must have been telling them to tear each other’s apart, but they did the exact opposite.”

Jeongin starts taking a few steps back.

“You should be proud of your members Bang Chan” he smiles, and his body starts to become translucent. “I’m jealous.”

“Wait-” Chan walks toward him, his arm outstretched. “Tell us what we can do-”

Seungmin and Changbin moves forward like one person to stand from either side of their leader. Hyunjin and Jisung stay frozen in the back.

“You already did everything you could do for me.” He smiles and they can barely see him now. He continues to walk backward. “The forest spirits will walk me back to my body.”

Chan lets his hand fall. There’s a wave of relief who washes over him and It leaves him numb. A small smile appears on his lips.

“We’ll meet again Hyung” are the last words who are left to echo in the soulless night when Jeongin disappears.

Chan can’t help the emptiness who replaces the young Banshee when he is gone. 

\---

They were already sited in the moving train when Chan’s phone rang in his pocket. It was Mr. Yang, thanking him for the successful mission. He could hear Mrs.Yang happily crying in the background. Jeongin had finally waken up and it seemed that the whole family was ecstatic. He had promised to call the company and assure that the payment had been received _and doubled_.

Although the mission was a blatant success, the mood in the train back home was sour and heavy. Chan still hadn’t uttered a word to Jisung, let alone a single glance. He had exchanged a very short awkward conversation with Hyunjin but even that had been… not it. The only thing the older vampire seemed to have been able to do was throw a hand around Changbin’s tense shoulders as they left the forest. Whatever that was meant to prevent the wolf from turning or to calm Chan’s own nerves was still unsure.

Chan knew he had to speak with Jisung eventually. He knew that it hadn’t been _entirely _the fae’s fault, but what he had done still hurt. It still stung and he couldn’t help the feeling of betrayal from hunting his heartbeats. If he decided to speak it out with him while he was still feeling this way, he knew that he would end up hurting Jisung’s feelings, and although he himself had been hurt by him, Chan wouldn’t wish that on the younger. So he did the only thing he seemed to be able to do at the moment; he closed his eyes, his unplugged earphones in his ears and pretended to be asleep even if he knew he couldn’t fool Hyunjin nor Changbin.

The ride back home had felt shorter. The bus who took them from the station to their apartment was stuffed and it was so hot that it had been hard to breathe.

Chan cursed his luck for being on the top floor as he dragged his feet up the stairs. It wasn’t much that he was physically tired, but he was mentally exhausted, and he just wanted to curl in a ball in the darkness of his room under layers and layers of blankets.

But apparently, the luck spirits must be cursing him right now.

“What the fu-”

Changbin doesn’t finish cursing when Chan rips the paper who was miserably glued on their door. He tightens his fist around it when his eyes finish examining it and he takes a deep breath in to try to ease his nerves, but it doesn’t quiet work.

He pulls his phone out from his back pocket and quickly dial a number.

It rings twice.

“Hyung, what the fucking fuck is going on right now?”

A tired annoyed voice lazily answers him. “_Language Bang Chan, you’re talking to someone who’s the same age as your father_” Chan turns his back to his members and he bits his lips. He doesn’t want them to see him this way. “_Probably. Should be_.”

“I’m sorry hyung, let me say that again.” He stares down at the crumbled paper in his closed fist and he slowly uncurl his fingers to let it fall down on the dirty carpet. “What in the lovely damned Ghouls is going on right now?”

An exasperated sigh resonates in his ears. “_What’s wrong this time?_” 

“What’s wrong _THIS TIME?” _Chan turns around, anger boiling his insides. His eyes meet the others and he tries yet again to calm himself down. Changbin and Jisung look purely just as annoyed as he was but Seungmin and Hyunjin have a worried look on their faces. “I don’t know, you tell me hyung. Why am I coming home after a mission to an order of eviction? It says that the rent hasn’t been pained in months!!!”

Chan is well aware that he is stomping on the floor like a five-year-old, but he can’t help the frustration eating him up. “_I don’t know, how would I know? I’m your manager not your mom_.” The man sighs again. _“Not that you would know what’s that”_he mumbles under his breathe.

“THAT’S EXACTLY YOUR JOB HYUNG.” Chan breathes out, turning around to walk down the deserted hallway. “I TOLD you to leave the rent to me, but you refused. This is not even the first time this is happening.”

“_Do you think I’m doing this because I enjoy it?_”

“Hyung-”

“_Alright alright I understand stop yelling_.” There’s a sound of keyboard keys being quickly hit before he speaks again. “_I’m gonna send you the two orphan- I mean the two brats’ new orphanage. Send them there. I’ll sort it out with the landlord in a couple of days, weeks, we’ll see.” _

The line goes silent and Chan let his arm fall. He sighs before he musters the courage to turn around to face the others.

“You heard that? Everyone go back home.” He heads back to them.

“Define home.” Seungmin darkly says under his breath.

Chan stops when he is standing in front of them. “A place where you currently live or used to live and where you can therefore spend the night. Multiple nights actually.” He lifts his phone back to eye-level and stare at the text he just received. “I have here the new address for you two. Hyunjin and Changbin go back to your parent’s.”

Chan hears everyone’s heart quicken. Why do they all happen to have complicated family issues? Himself included.

“_Our _parents hyung. _Ours_.” Hyunjin says. The older sighs and cross his arms on his chest. “I’ll find a house to crash for a couple of days. I know a lot of friends who own me a couple of favors” He knows his words hurt but he can’t help them. There’s a weight added on his shoulders when he hears Hyunjin’s heart skip a beat.

“Can’t we just- all crash at Changbin’s hyung?”

It’s Jisung who’s speaking, and Chan meets his eyes for a second before he looks away. He feels the pain he caused through the link, but the young fae continues. “Hyung’s pack house is huge and his parents never complained about us spending a couple of nights there. Everyone always says that it’s like we’re part of the pack anyway.”

Changbin quickly nods when he feels all eyes on him. “Ye-yeah, Yeah for sure. We can’t lie to any of them, they’ll smell the lie a kilometer away but one family knowing that we’ve been kicked out of our apartment _again _is better than the alternative.”

“I can’t begin to imagine how it’ll be like to go back home when I just left so confidently.” Hyunjin shivers at the thought. “And I haven’t learned how to control my heartbeat to lie to them yet.”

“I’ll be damned if I see the face of that headmistress again. And I’m legally still in custody under JYP. Pretty sure I won’t be allowed anywhere else until they find what caused that fire”

Chan nods. Seungmin’s expression is blank but the vampire can hear and smell the anxiety and pain in his heartbeat and blood.

“I will commit a murder if I see her ugly rat face. I won’t feel a single remorse to have my other wing cursed black”

Surprisingly, it’s Hyunjin who gently grabs Jisung’s arm. “Don’t say that.” Jisung looks up at him before he turns his head to Seungmin’s. “She left you there in that burning building to die without a single remorse. Death is too easy on her. She should be thrown to the Ghouls. Or worse, to the SoulEaters.”

Chan feels a headache crawling in his head. “Let’s not stay in the middle of this hallway.” He puts his hand behind Seungmin’s and Jisung’s back. “Binnie, lead the way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I know this took FOREVER. 
> 
> There's just sometimes THESE chapters that are so hard to write and this one was one of them. I just didn't have much inspiration. 
> 
> Next chapter we're gonna meet Changbin's pack and Hyunjin's parents aka Chan's adopted family yay! 
> 
> Comments ofc always motivates me SO MUCH they are MUCH appreciated. 
> 
> See you guys MWAH 
> 
> ps: I LOVED writing about 3racha's manager lmao he is one funny rude character


	14. Ugly Pain and Glittering Shinning Tears

“_The fae twins, the fae twins!!”_They whispered with hushed distorted voices, their faces a dark void.

“_Where?? Where??_” The question was rushed, filled with unhealthy curiosity.

“_THERE! Stuck together like they are glued to each other. Isn’t it too dangerous for us to be living in the same world?_”

The hollow faces shifted, multiple voices and faceless people passing by like a big destructive wave. Until it stopped in a white room, a long man, hovering above his body. Jisung could remember every detail of his face in such a disturbing clarity. The way he sloppily talked. The way he stood and projected his aura. The way he arched his right eyebrow when he was displeased with something. Displeased with _him_.

_“I’m going to take good care of both of you. So well that you won’t remember anything else other than my face and voice.” _

_“You need to try harder Han-shii. It would be a shame if your actions affected your twin wouldn’t it?” _

“_HARDER. STRONGER. MORE MORE MORE_”

Jisung’s body was trapped on the bed. His whole muscles were heavy. He wished that he could move, could do anything else other than stay there with his eyes closed. It feels like someone is sleeping behind him, his arm wrapped around his body to assure that he can’t snap out of it and_move_.

It isn’t his first time experiencing sleeping paralysis, but every single time feels like the first one. He can’t tell after how many attempts he finally managed to open his eyes, but It feels like forever.

His heart is beating so fast inside his chest that it physically hurts to breathe. He sits up, and recoils to the corner of the queen bed, where the two walls met. Jisung knows he is staring into the darkness, but he can’t stop his brain from painting faceless bodies in the shadows. The tears are cold on his warm cheeks and his heavy breathing is loud in his ears. He is drowning in his sweat and it makes his skin itch.

_“A SCUMBAG LIKE YOU DESEARVES TO DIE” _

“I know” he whispers, face crumbling. “I know that”

_“Bring him back. BRING MY SON BACK TO LIFE.” _

Jisung presses his palms against his eyes, his elbows on his pulled-up knees. “I’m so sorry” the first sob of too many promised others resonates in the room. “I’m so sorry”

_“THEY BOTH DESEARVES TO DIE! HANG THEM! HANG THE FAE TWINS!” _

His hands are now crawling to his ears, but the voices are still loud and clear. “N-no no no” he shakes his head, his nails digging in the skin around his ears. There must be a knife dug inside his chest, because nothing else could explain the monstrous pain combusting the air out of his lungs. “No please. Please. Not Felix. It’s my fault. Everything’s my fault. Leave him alone. Leave Lixi alone.”

It feels like his heart is beating in his throat, and it physically hurt. It hurt to have a beating heart. It hurt to be able to feel. It hurt to be able to cry. It shouldn’t hurt to breathe but it _does_. It does. Jisung wish he could tear at his skin. Wish he could grab his heart and throw it out the window. Tears swim in his face until they meet his running nose and it’s disgusting and repulsive but everything about his pain is. Pain is nasty and ugly; It reminds Jisung of the time he spilled water on a drawing he had weeks on. The black ink had spilled on the white sheet and hours of hard work got thrown out of the window. Just like that. In a single second because of a wrong movement of his arm.

Han furiously whips at his face, but it only makes everything worse. Like a failed painting a child try to fix but the mess is already made, and it looks even sadder than it used to.

It hurts. It hurts. It hurts _so much_.

Another wave of agony shakes his body and he’s being ripped from the inside. Jisung can’t control the cries that scratches his throat. He can’t control anything. He can only let himself feel and be combusted in the aching soreness inside his bones.

There’s the warmth of a body suddenly jumping on the bed, making Jisung violently recoil back. His eyes are already open, but everything is dark around him. He blinks repeatedly desperately trying to chase the dark spots clouding the edge of his vision.

The presence is pacing on the bed, heaving for air. It feels familiar, the presence feels familiar, the warmth feels familiar. Jisung raises his hand forward. Maybe he is trying to touch whoever is on his bed, maybe he is trying to find a path through the darkness. Before he has the time to ponder more on it, he feels a dip on the bed right beside him and a grasp of fur caresses his fingers and palm. 

There is a small howl and the fog inside Jisung's brain clears.

He smiles when he finally recognizes the figure of the wolf on his bed.

"Hey" he whispers.

The wolf howls again, rubbing his head against Jisung's hand, asking to be pet. He puts his paws on Jisung's knees, moving his whole body to sit on his legs when they fall back flat on the mattress.

"I'm sorry Hyung, did I worry you?" he murmurs, giggling quietly through the dried tears when Changbin's wolf rests his head on the croc of his neck.

It's with a shaky hand that Jisung allows his hand to run through the soft grey fur. The wolf happily howls and the fae can't stop his arms from wrapping around the animal's body. He hides his face in his friend's neck, and the warmth immediately spreads in his chest.

Changbin was never one to give hugs to Jisung. He did to all his other younger friends, but never to him. It wasn't that they weren't close, maybe it was because of the exact opposite. Maybe it was that they were too close, for hugs to not be slightly awkward.

But Jisung knows, in the rare occasion when they do, that his Hyung's hugs are as warm as a fireplace in the middle of a snowstorm.

Nonetheless, the younger can't hold back. He can't stop the sadness from possessing his body. The loneliness. The longing. The feeling of abandon. Of standing alone in the middle of a zombie apocalypse. He can't chase it away like one would with an annoying fly, He can't. And it is oh so much harder with Changbin's wolf body cuddled in his arms.

Changbin lifts his nose, sniffling the air. It is as if he makes a disapproving grunt with the back of his throat. He removes his head from the other’s neck, and starts licking his tears, which ends up making the younger's face wetter than it had been.

"S-stop- Hyung" Jisung tries to back away but his legs are trapped under the wolf' heavy muscled body. "I'm sorry I won't cry again stop that" he giggles, grimacing. "Hyung it's disgusting" he whines, and only then does the wolf reluctantly stops. He brushes his muzzle against Jisung's nose before he let his head fall down, comfortably settling down to sleep.

Jisung giggles again, but its somehow sad. He runs his hand in his fur. "You know Hyung, sometimes I regret what I did. I regret killing them all" his voice is emotionless, and it would have been surprising to anyone else other than Changbin and Chan. But no one else is here to hear.

The wolf raises his head, and with his deep blue ocean eyes, he looks straight at Jisung's honey ones. "I could have forgiven them if they only hurt me. I would have felt guilty if I was the only one that had been abused. But when I remember everything they've done to Felix, I can't help thinking that I went too nice on them. I should have removed every one of their guts and filled their labs coat with them. I should have painted every single white spot dark red with their blood. I should have forced them to try all those instruments and experience they forced on us. I should have torn their mind from the inside, until they begged for forgiveness like _we_begged for _our_lives. Should have made them cry like _we_cried. Should have made them tremble with fear like _we _drowned in it. Sho-" his stern empty voice is suddenly cut short by a low threatening growl, and it's enough to make Jisung snap out of it, his eyes finding back their usual shinny light.

Changbin is not sitting on his legs anymore, Jisung notices too late, he is now standing tall on his four paws. His long sharp teeth are on sight, ready to tear skins and bones apart. His blue ocean eyes have now turned pitch black, and it's like looking at a dark cloudless and starless night. Unto a dark void. The anger is washing over Jisung in big strong waves. Almost too strong for him to even lift his arms.

The younger boy is scared. He's terrified. And it's enough to pull him out of his dissociated mind. But he is not scared of Changbin. He could never be scared of Changbin. He is _worried _for him.

So with the sudden rush of adrenaline, Jisung lifts his hands and wraps them around the wolf’s neck. He digs his head in his fur and when the wolf snares again, it's with less venom.

"I'm okey Binnie, I'm okey. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry" he sniffles back some tears, his lips pulled down. "I know that it hurts you when I speak about what they've done to me. I know that it makes you feel weak for not being able to take revenge. I _know_." Changbin growls again and Jisung tightens his hold on his upper body, nails slightly digging unto the wolf's skin. "It's just- I can't forget. I can't move on. I can't let this pain go and allow myself to heal" his eyes stings and he feels the tears climb up with the sudden blurriness that washes over his vision. "W-what If I let it all go and Felix disappears with it? What if I end up _forgetting_his face, his laugh? What if he ends up becoming a faraway memory in a mind that wants to remember no more?"

The wolf whimpers, and he sits back down on Jisung's legs, allowing the younger to properly engulf himself in his arms. “I can’t _forget _him. I can’t I _can’t_.” he repeats silently to himself.

_'Tell me about him. Tell me about Lee Felix, your fae twin.' _Changbin whispers in his mind, and although Jisung had told him the same story hundreds of times before, he tells him again.

He tells him about sweet little Felix, who is always too innocent and kind for his own good. He tells him about his smile, about the way he giggles and the whole world smiles back. He tells him about the constellations of freckles on his cheeks, the way it shines the brightest when the sun tries to burn his skin. He tells him about his cute clumsiness, about how he wanted to surprise him once but ended up hitting his head on the table. He tells him about his kindness, about how he is always so generous and thoughtful of those around him. He tells him about the times he can't stop himself from talking, and the ones when he doesn't utter more than a couple of words. He tells him how he cutely jumps when he gets excited, and his eyes turns unto two croissant moons. He tells him about how he can be a cute little unicorn a second, and then be a completely different person the other, intimidating and powerful. He tells him about how he's always so fascinated and interested of the simplest things. He tells him about his passion for music, for nature, for animals and people. For no-magical humans and magical ones. For the sky and the earth. For classical music and rock music. For cooking and sweet things. For the stormy rainy days with a book and a hot chocolate to hot sunny days in the beach with a licking ice cream. Jisung tells Changbin about Lee Felix, his no blood related twin, his other half, the sun that used to pour its light on him.

And it's only when the sky gets clearer and chase the darkness of the night and with it the fear lodging in his chest, does his eyes finally heave.

He falls asleep on his side, his face facing the window, Changbin curled against him, purring him to sleep.

_"Might as well forget" _someone whispers and Jisung is too tired to recognize the voice. He can’t tell if it is being said out loud or murmured in his mind. Maybe It is both.

\--

When Jisung opens his eyes, he is alone in the bed. Changbin’s sent on the sheets are the only proof that he was indeed here last night, and it wasn’t all in his head.

The shower he takes is cold and he is too tired to make his bed, so he leaves it as it is. His phone is the only thing he grabs before he opens the door. A morning walk will do him nothing but good.

He feels their presence before he sees them, there, standing in the hallway and politely waiting in front of his bedroom. It’s two young kids, no older than ten years old. The girl has long brown hair who reaches her waist. There’s a single red hairclip in her hair. She is wearing a red short and a plane black shirt. The boy standing beside her, looks stunningly like her. His hair is the same color, but they are shorter than hers, no longer than his neck. His eyes, like his twin, are vibrant green. They scream of forest and freedom.

“Moon, Sun!” Jisung exclaims, a smile quickly stretching his lips.

The two kids bow to him, face serious and body stiff. “Welcome back Han-sshi” they say at the same time, not standing back up.

Jisung scoffs a laugh and grab each of their arm. “C’mon stand back up you don’t need to be this polite.”

The girl and boy straighten their backs. Their posture is more relax and they are now smiling. “Mom said to always be polite to everyone” Sun says, her hazel hair glittering in the sunlight coming from the right window.  
  
“Are you polite to everyone then?” Jisung asks, a smirk on his lips. Moon’s cheeks go slightly red and he looks away, but Sun’s eyes are fierce and ablaze as she speaks. “Only those who deserves it Oppa.”

Jisung laughs again. “Alright alright.” He turns around and starts walking toward the wooden stairs at his left. Sun runs to walk at his right side and Moon is at his left. “Did you get kicked out of your nest again? Is that why you are here?” the girl’s voice is high pitched and sounds excited. He quickly looks around him. The pack house looks empty. He looks down at her and put a finger in front of his lips. “Don’t say that so loudly” he whispers. Moon and Sun are giggling, their hands covering their mouths, but they don’t say anything else.

Outside, the sun is bright and almost blinding. The pack house stands on top of a hill, overshadowing kilometers and kilometers of land. Houses of all kind surrounds it. A small local hospital and even a school as well. There’s also the HQ in the middle of the pack, consisting of the elite of wolfs; coast guards, fighters and even snipers. The grass is a bright green and beautiful tall trees protects the villagers. From where he is standing, Jisung can see the pack slowly waking up. The fresh smell of bread from the bakery who just opened its door. The flowers diffusing their scent in the flower shop toward the right. The same usual old men shouting to catch people’s attention and get them to buy his odd products.

“Hyung? Shall we go?” It’s Moon’s voice. Small and gentle.

Jisung snaps his attention back to the kids waiting behind him. He smiles at them and they climb down the path together. To their right, is a big fancy blue house. Smaller than the pack house, but bigger than any other one around. The Alpha’s and Loona’s, and therefore, Changbin’s family house. They walk through town, multiple people greeting them as they pass by. The needlewomen hanging fresh cleaned clothes. The doctor’s daughter, kneeling in front of an old women who looks tired. The apothecary owner, a bright young woman with an equally bright smile waving at them.

The house they finally stop in front of is small and frail. It looks like it’s about to collapse at any strong wind. This part of the village is quieter and humbler. Less crowded than around the pack house and Alpha’s house.

Moon and Sun run past Jisung toward their home’s backyard. The fae follows after them without much hesitation. It isn’t the first time he comes here.

There’s a small vegetable garden. It’s not in the best of state nor is it the fancier one but it is well taken care of. He can feel the love and attention put unto it from under his feet.

The two children are waiting for him at the end of the garden, right where the forest of tree become wilder and more numerous. They are crouched around a handful of sunflowers. Their eyes are lifted toward him and he can feel them on him even after he sits down on the ground. The flowers are small and haven’t properly flourished yet.

“We put them right under the sun and made sure to give them water once a day like you told us too. We really did. It’s been a while… but they don’t want to bloom” Sun has a pout on her lips. Her hazel hair and bright green eyes are piercing and intimidating. Her beauty could be mistaken by one of a light faery, and that alone spoke a lot. But she fits well as she is; a wolf with wildness and freedom of nature as its possession. “We’re sorry… You trusted us with its seed, but we can’t even take care of it… I’m sure it would have bloomed beautifully with you hyung.” Moon murmurs under his breathe. He isn’t looking at him, but at the sad looking flowers. 

Jisung stare at him. While his twin sister is fierce and explosive, Moon is quieter and more thoughtful. He is like the silence of a full moon night. Calming but at the same time holding so much secrets and unseen strength. 

“Do you talk to her?”

Moon lifts toward him surprised eyes, but he doesn’t say anything. Sun shouts beside him. “Talk? To a flower?”

The fae looks back down at the sunflowers. He gently caresses with his thumb one of the petals. He can feel the loneliness and weakness radiating from them. “Nature is like a human being or an animal. It can feel and be hurt.” He exchanges a glance between each sibling. “Give them each a name. Speak to them in the morning when you give them water. Ask them how their day was after you get home. Tell them about your worries and achievements.” He looks down. “They won’t be able to answer you, but they will listen and will grow strong and gorgeous.”

“Moon-ie! Sun-ie!”

Three heads shoot up. A young woman is standing beside the house’s back door. Her shoulder is pressed on the door frame and her arms are folded against her chest in a scolding manner. “I told you not to go bother Han-shii” her eyebrows are frowned but she doesn’t really look upset.

Jisung quickly stands up.

“We didn’t.” Sun says with a pout. Moon speaks next. “We carefully waited until he woke up.” His voice has less ferocity than his sister’s.

Their mother sigh and unfold her arms. “I’m sorry again for making you come all the way to our house. I can’t control these two anymore. Sometimes I wonder if they are like this because I raised them without a father.” She doesn’t look away and Jisung can see a glitter of sadness in her blazing eyes.

“No not at all.” He shakes his head quickly, a smile climbing to his lips. It somehow looks forced, but genuine, nonetheless. “Moon and Sun are the cleverest and kindest children I ever seen. And believe me, I saw _a lot _back in the orphanage.” He ruffles their hair from where they are standing on either side of him. “You raised them incredibly well Miss Lee.”

The woman seems to gain back some colors, but she still looks tired. Exhausted even. But nothing can take away the fire that envelops her aura. Jisung never met Sun’s and Moon’s father, but he knows with certitude from who they took after.

After politely declining their offer of lunch, Jisung heads back to the pack house.

It’s not Miss Lee’s face that appears in his head. It’s someone’s else.

The faery makes a quick stolen wish to the stars above. He wishes Moon and Sun will get to grow old with their mother. He wishes no one tears her away from them, like his has been.

He wishes that for _once_, his heart won’t be deceived.

\--

The way back to the pack house feels shorter and when he stands in front of the big doors, he doesn’t want to get in.

He can feel all of their presence inside.

Facing Changbin after yesterday’s breakdown is no less than deathly embarrassing. He knows Seungmin and Chan must have felt his attack through the SoulLink. He knows Hyunjin, with his vampire ears, must have heard everything. Sure, they weren’t fighting anymore but things were still… a bit awkward between them. Not to mention that Chan hasn’t said a single thing to Jisung for the past _three _days. _Great_. Really, this is so _great_.

Knowing that there is no use in avoiding this any longer, Jisung pushes the door open.

The pack house is the biggest house in the pack. It has four floors of bedrooms, five bathrooms, one on each floor and one on the main hall, a huge living room and kitchen, two dining halls, three meeting rooms and a ridiculously massive basement with supplies. It honestly looks more like a luxurious hotel than anything else. The place didn’t belong to anyone but at the same time, was owned by everyone. It was adapted to be able to fit the whole pack in situations of emergencies. Anyone could come in and go as they pleased; a common home. It usually is always crowded but the young boy hadn’t met anyone since they arrived last night. Changbin’s mom probably had something to do with it.

Beyond the main hall, facing the door, is the kitchen. As soon as Jisung opens the door, his eyes meet Seungmin’s. He looks incredibly worried and he tries to hide it, but Jisung knows him too well to be fooled.

“You came?” He asks when Jisung closes the door behind him. Hyunjin is staring at him but he tries not to meet eyes with the vampire just yet. He nods, not being able to say anything else.

“Oh Jisung!! Where were you?” Changbin pocks his head from the corner. The optimism in his voice is forced, Jisung can tell that much. “The Lee twins came by. They needed some help with a family of Sunflowers.” He says, entering the kitchen.

Only then does he notice Chan. His back is facing him as he fiddles with something on the counter.

An awkward silence flies around the room

Chan slowly turns around, a hand playing with his red ear. Rationally speaking, he knows that this was getting ridiculous. That he should talk with the fae soon and get whatever is going on between them fixed. He knows that as their leader and oldest member, he shouldn’t act this childish. But he can’t help it. Maybe he still wants to latch on the excuse that Jisung hurt him. That he felt betrayed and used. There’s this voice in his head telling him that the younger had his reason to act the way he did. That like Yang Jeongin had said, the dark magic in that forest was playing with their emotions and made them irritable. Chan wants to talk with Jisung. He wants so badly to hug him and tell him how much he cares and loves him. How precious he is. How thankful Chan is that Jisung is still alive.

He was hunting last night but he still felt the familiar panic raising in his chest. The fear and pain and everything in between. He had wanted to reach out. To hug the fae close and tell him that everything was going to be alright. He knew Jisung needed him. He _knew_it. But how could he face the younger? He didn’t deserve to be there for him. Changbin however did. It hurt to feel excluded, but Chan deserved to be hurt. He deserved to feel every inch of the tremendous sorrow that was eating Jisung up.

So, he stood by Jisung’s room, his back pressed against the wall in the hallway, hidden in the dark. Seungmin appeared a couple of seconds later, a worried frown on his face.

_Right_, Chan thought. The wizard shared the link now too. It mustn’t be hurting as much as it is for him and Changbin, but it had been strong enough to wake him up.

Chan shook his head at him and Seungmin understood immediately. He threw a glance to the room. Jisung soft cries were vibrant and loud in their ears. The wizard nodded to himself before he went back to where he came from, shoulders heavy.

Jisung looks fine today. Better than last night, but worse than any of his other normal days. His face is sickly white, and he now has blocked the SoulLink, which is a saying in his state in itself.

Chan bits the inside of his lower lip before he turns to properly face Jisung. “Have you eaten yet?” he asks as casually as he can.

There’s a bit of shocked silence. Jisung looks at him with his big round eyes, wide and shiny. A second later, they fill with tears. Glittering and heartbreaking shining tears in the sunlight.

What follows next is a mess of panicked screams and vain attempts at comfort. One moment, Changbin is standing beside Jisung, awkwardly holding his shoulder and the other second, he is shoved aside by Seungmin who is tapping at the fae’s cheeks with tissues. Hyunjin even tries to help when he ends up shoving a chocolate mochi in the fae’s mouth. But the tears keep falling and Jisung keep hiccupping.

It’s only when Chan pushes them all aside and envelops him in his arms that the tension in the room finally falls. Jisung cries harder, but this time, its somehow a relieving one.

_One problem down_, Changbin thinks as he stares outside the window_. A couple thousands left to go. _

He sighs.

At the same time, Seungmin who is standing behind him, lifts his eyes to the wolf’s back. He looks around him with frowned eyebrows, but nothing seems out of ordinary; Hyunjin is sipping his coffee with his phone in his hands, Changbin is back to what he has been doing before Jisung came in, that is washing the dishes, and Jisung and Chan are still wrapped in each other’s arms, the younger’s cries had died down. They were all remotely fine, but something wasn’t quite right. Seungmin couldn’t place a finger on it.

There’s a shift in the magic in the air. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took forever I'm so sorry. I uploaded a new chapter of Lacuna after AGES and I published a new au (1/1) named "To the one who made my heart lighter" so yeah I'm gonna use that as an excuse. But hey this chapter was longer than usual so I hope you guys can forgive me. 
> 
> On another hand, I also want to apologize because I said that we will meet Hyunjin's and Changbin's family in this chapter but we actually didn't. This just shows that I can't plan my chapters before hand I just write on the gut lmao. We will meet them next chapter tho promise!!
> 
> Also, I hinted to Chan's song "Might as well forget" because it fet so well ahahaha it's such a good song.
> 
> ALSO STRAY KIDS COMEBACKKKK WOOOAHHHH I also have been quiet busy streaming and voting lmao
> 
> Sorry I talk a lot, As always, thank you for reading and your comments always makes me the HAPPIEST.


	15. The Weak Soldier and The Strong Peasant

Changbin had a normal childhood.

He grew up in a beautiful and loving pack, his father was the alpha, and they were rather wealthy, so he and his sister never lacked anything. He was outgoing, rather popular, and was loved by everyone.

Seo Changbin was… happy; bloomed like any child should be able too.

He always felt at home within the pack, felt welcomed and _safe_. That is, until the age of 11. Then, something happened. Something had to happen. He was _too _happy. Everything was just _too _perfect.

They were his father’s closest friends. They filled his childhood memories with their kindness and smiles. It used to feel good, recalling his memories. Now, it’s like the plague is staining all of it. Changbin didn’t really question it when they dragged him further away from the pack. He didn’t fight it or scream like he should have. Instead, eleven years old Changbin followed them happily, hand in hand. He even climbed on one of their backs when they turned unto wolfs, and he had laughed at the fresh breeze hitting his face as they speeded away.

He always thought it was his strength, trusting people. It ended up being his strongest enemy. The wolf hidden behind the grandma’s mask.

The firs spark of fear that bloomed in his chest was when the blinding sun got replaced by the whiteness of the moon. They didn’t reach the Seo’s luxurious chalet like they had promised, but a run-down abandoned hut in the middle of the deepest woods. His father’s face was nowhere to be seen. Only darkness opened its mouth and showed its claws to him.

“Binnie, your dad said that he will come get you from here, alright? Stay here and wait for him” the first man said, the one with the warm eyes and blonde dyed hair. He crouched in front of him “Go inside, and absolutely, do not get out. No matter what. It’s really dangerous out here.”

The other one, much taller, looked threatening in the shadows of the trees. “We don’t want the little next alpha in line to be in danger now do we?” his voice sounded off, but Changbin couldn’t really tell what it was about it. The man didn’t really say anything mean, but the child didn’t like it one bit. He frowned but didn’t mention it. They were pack members. Family. We trust and love family, no matter what. That’s what his parents had told him. So Changbin smiled, nodding his head. He _trusted _them.

He was put in the hut, and the door closed behind him. It was darker than outside. He was in a squared room, no furniture to be seen. Changbin forced a smile on his lips and walked toward the wall opposite the door. He sat there on the dirt, knees brought to his chest, staring at the door. There was a breach in the wood above his head. A moon light made Its way inside, illuminating a small patch of grass toward his left.

Changbin waited. He waited again and again. But no one ever came. His father’s friends had left. His father didn’t come get him. His mother didn’t come. His older sister didn’t come. No one from the pack did. Seconds merged unto minutes, minutes soon became hours, and hours turned unto days. He didn’t really know what kept him inside the small cabin. Maybe he was scared. Scared to admit to himself that he was in danger. Because the moment he will cross this door, his father’s friends will become liars. Their friendly faces will become those of traitors. The smile who would tug at his lips when he thinks of them or see them will become sour, a grimace in his face. His blinding trust in his pack would be shattered. The eleven years old Seo Changbin who was so noble at such a young age with his loyalty to his pack, will die. Murdered in a cabin in the middle of the darkest side of the woods. Instead, eleven years old Seo Changbin who, despite his age, was too naïve and stupid to follow two men unto the unknow so far away from home would come out of this cabin. So he stayed curled up on the forest’s floor, waited, latching on his trust. He liked the first Seo Changbin better. Even if it meant dying from hunger or eaten by a bear, he will not give place to the second Seo Changbin.

The moon left and the sun came. Maybe the first one noticed that Changbin missed her, because it came back soon after.

Then, there were voices who started to speak in his head. Loud and terrifying. Growling and scratching inside him. They appeared in the darkness, and soon, they became one. Changbin couldn’t fight against it. He let it consume him and wrap its claws around him. That’s when his wolf first showed its presence to him.

Except the cases where a human gets bitten and forcefully turned, werewolf born like Changbin only had their wolf appear around 16 years of age. The pack’s doctor later said, when Changbin’s wolf found his road back to the pack following three days of him missing and after his mom had stopped spilling all her tears on his chest, that it wasn’t unusual for kids who went through traumatic events. The wolf apparently showed up to protect him. Changbin didn’t feel like it did, it probably got driven by selfish desires, just like the two men who kidnapped him.

That’s the word they used for it. _Kidnapped_. _Trauma_. _Near death experience. Luck _that he was still alive.

Changbin didn’t feel like it was a trauma. Such a big word was used for people who went through much worse than him. He had just- been abandoned in a cabin in the middle of nowhere. Untraceable. Left to starve for three nights and two days. If he wasn’t a werewolf, he would have died. That’s what his mother had whispered shouted to his father one night when they thought he was sleeping. It wasn’t such a big deal that they made it out to be, he thought. It was his mistake. Him to blame for trusting too much. For not leaving that cabin, it wasn’t like he had been tied up like everyone seemed to think. It was his fault that his father’s friends became traitors and got killed. His fault. If he hadn’t been such a pretentious and perfect kid, if he hadn’t existed, they would still be alive.

Something changed since then. He saw fake and forced smiles _everywhere around him_. He saw people that secretly despised him and wanted him dead in the middle of nowhere _everywhere around him_. He couldn’t find the strength to believe and trust anyone around him. He felt like a rogue in his own pack.

Eventually, a problematic child became a problematic teen. Everyone still loved him and took great care of him, and Changbin loved and cared for all of them. Genuinely. But it wasn’t like before. He still felt trapped in that hut, in a wild unknown forest with voices whispering in the dark. It felt like they were reaching to him beyond a veil. It was only up to him to cross it, but he was frozen in place. Dead within.

_Trust issues_, they called it.

He had a name now to whatever storm had been thrashing inside his mind, and somehow, there was a small weight removed from his shoulders. He had cried, the first emotion he had showed beside anger since even before the incident.

Changbin was now all grown up, it was ridiculous that he still let something that happened when he was a child still affect his life, but it does.

It wasn’t said explicitly, but everyone knew Changbin couldn’t become the next Alpha anymore. It was ridiculous anyway; his sister was older and much stronger than him. She wasn’t weak, didn’t have trust issues, didn’t shiver every time someone interacted with her, and was loved and appreciated from the whole pack. The elders complained about it, apparently, a boy is supposed to take over the pack. A girl was supposed to be married to some alpha from another pack, or at very least a beta. Changbin called it crap, his sister was born to lead people. He wasn’t. And there was nothing bad with that.

Changbin had to leave.

It was an urge in his mind, an itch in his bones. A flare in his wolf’s senses.

This wasn’t his place anymore.

So he left to the city.

He couldn’t decide if it was better or worse than the forest where everything started going south, but as long as he stayed closed on himself and didn’t let anyone in, everything would be fine. There, he joined a company of special forces.

Then, Bang Chan had showed up, with a black backpack and red earphones flung around his neck, red eyes piercing his darkest secrets. Han Jisung was also there, following the latter like his shadow; a bright smile and eyes who seemed to have seen too much.

It was hard, but eventually, they got along. They clicked.

It wasn’t that he had a problem welcoming his members in his pack, and it wasn’t like he didn’t visit his home at all, but coming back here, feels like admitting defeat. That’s the impression he has when he meets his sister’s stormy eyes. She has a bright smile on her lips, and she looks truly happy to have him here, but Changbin knows she has hundreds of questions he isn’t ready to answer. He only half felt bad to not be that much excited to see her like she seems to be.

Though, he has the decency to force a smile.

His mother had been ecstatic to see him in the pack house. They probably got informed that he came back the moment he crossed the borders of their territory, although they didn’t meet anyone on their way. It was well past midnight after all. He is glad they gave him the night to at least rest, even if it turned out to be a hard one.

She had given him a big suffocating hug, as he supposed only moms could, and made sure everyone had eaten properly. Even Chan and Hyunjin got an appropriate breakfast. The pack started storing blood bags for emergencies, or rather, for _Bang Chan emergencies_, when one night, Changbin had dragged a half-starved Chan to his pack. A story for another day. 

Here he is now, in the middle of the village, a huge crowd encircling two werewolves sparring. People are eating and drinking on tables and chairs brought out of multiple restaurants, bars and coffee shops around town. His sister is sitting on a chair, laughing with some betas, werewolves specially trained to take such a title. She throws careless glances at the fight, enjoying the cheering of her people. It isn’t unusual, they hold such parties at least once a week, to release hormones or something. He takes one more step toward the center of the fun, Jisung by his right and Seungmin by his left, Chan and Hyunjin had received an important call a few minutes prior. A short cut breath heaves out of his lungs, his sister’s eyes, his Luna he should call her now, fall on him, wide and thrilled.

“BINNIE” she screams, jumping out of her highchair. A sudden silence falls around them, all eyes now on what got the Luna’s attention.

“Moonbyul” he mumbles under his breath. The woman is by his side in a heartbeat, ruffling his hair with a big grin. “Changbinnie, it’s been so long, why didn’t you visit sooner?” she says with a sweet motherly voice. The crowd slowly finds its chatters back. Left and right, people throw greetings and smiles at him, inviting them to seat and eat. Jisung and Seungmin are bowing and thanking them, and Changbin tries his best to find his focus back. Moonbyul’s purple hair are long, inches away from reaching her waist. She has a slender body, eyes sharp like ones of an eagle. She ruffles his hair and Changbin moves backward, his cheeks tented pink. “Noona, stop”

She cows at him, her grin widening. “Awn is our Binnie all grown up now? He shies away from his older sister’s attention?”

He is about to protest again and possibly even shove her hand away, when a strong male voice calls out to him. “Hey, _Changbinie_”

Changbin eyebrows frown, and he throws a glare past his sister’s shoulders. The man is taller than him, frame large and muscles everywhere on display. A show-off; _look at me, I’m stronger and need attention. _

Although the nickname was kind and teasing when his sister used it, this time, under this wolf viper tone, it is provocating.

“Why don’t you come have a match with me? I’m sure we’re all curious how strong is the alpha’s son now.”

Changbin grows annoyed by the seconds. The last thing he wants, is to fight. He has better things to do right now; like try to figure out if Chan and Hyunjin are alright and what type of important phone call they got, bully their manager unto paying the rent, make sure the payment for all _five_of them was done after Yang Jeongin’s mission, and hell, even get the address to Jisung’s and Seungmin’s new orphanage; they technically shouldn’t be allowed to leave it yet. Conclusion, he has a whole lot of shit to take care of other than proving himself to his old pack. Current pack. Whatever.

There was also the thing that Changbin wasn’t really… unto physical fights. He is strong for sure, his own muscles could prove that, but he devotes his time more to perfecting his hacking skills rather than anything else. Wolfs who lives in packs, which he doesn’t anymore, especially those who wants to become and be recognized as betas, spend a lot, _whole lot_, of time training to fight and to develop their wolf’s strength until they are more animal than human. Yeah, Changbin doesn’t want to fight.

He meets eyes with Moonbyul. She smirks. Damn it, she’s curious as well. “C’mon Changbin, I’m sure this is nothing hard or new for you” she says teasingly.

Yeah, there was no way out of this.

He removes his jacket, annoyed, and throws it in Seungmin’s hands. “Hyung-” he says, but the wolf doesn’t spare him a glance. The quicker he is done with this, the faster he can leave.

A circle is drawn on the dust bellow his feet. He steps a foot out of it, he loses. Easy much.

They start turning around each other, eyes sharp and senses high. Changbin is calculating. Strength wise, his opponent is stronger. Though he can’t be as fast as Chan or as agile as Moonbyul, and Changbin has sparred with both of them a fair number of times. There also was no way that his opponent knew any kind of quick tricks he had learned in JYP. If he can be fast enough, one sharp hit in the man’s neck at the right place, and he would be out cold. The problem is, his enemy fills his lacks in speed and agility with strength, that means a single blow from his part and Changbin would be sent flying out of the improvised ring.

He sees the way the man’s muscles tense before he lounges toward him. Changbin moves to the side swiftly, easily dodging the first attack. His opponent turns toward him again and throws another fist, but the young wolf dodges it without trouble. Follows a series of attack-dodge, and he is only half surprised that the man hasn’t started to get tired at all. Instead, he looks incredibly annoyed and the crowd itself start getting worn-out of the cat-mouse game. Changbin just can’t find an opening to knock him out.

“Is that all the son’s alpha is capable of? Running way?” he growls, long sharp teeth bared.

Changbin knows he is trying to piss him off, but he successfully succeeds. The younger isn’t that much of a proud kind of guy, but it hits his dignity to be talked like that in front of everyone.

_Fuck __it, _he thinks before he jumps forward, aiming a fist in his jaw. However, Changbin should have realized that such a predictable attack would not benefit him. A violent jolt of pain flashes in his cheek, and it takes all his power to dig his claws in the ground to not be ejected. He tries to stand too fast, and dizziness captures his mind. He finds himself on his hands and knees, panting heavily. A single hit should not be this strong, damn it.

Cheers and gasps erupt everywhere around him. He can hear Seungmin scream his name, but it feels like every sound is reaching him from beyond another dimension. Jisung is silent. Changbin lifts his eyes toward him. The fae’s face is expressionless, but his eyes burn. He knows, that this fight, is his. _Emotions are meant to distract_. That’s what their teachers in JYP always told them.

But he is distracted right now, and that is his mistake. A foot violently lands on his side, and he is thrown on his back. The older wolf’s right foot smashes his stomach, and Changbin can’t help the small scream that leaves his throat. He’s left out of breath. Knocked out from all air that ever entered his lungs.

This is ridiculous, he thinks. He can feel the tension of Moonbyul’s eyes on him. Of his mother’s. Of his father’s even if he didn’t see him yet. He’s a disgrace. A disgrace to his family title. A disgrace to JYP’s training. A disgrace to his friends and his pack who have so many faiths in him even after everything he has done to them.

He greets his teeth, and flicks a hit to the man’s back knee, making him loose his balance. Changbin takes the opportunity to quickly stand back up. He grabs his opponent’s shoulders and smack his knee in his stomach.

The man stumbles backward, holding his abdomen as the crowd screams again.

To Changbin’s surprise, really, it’s his fault for underestimating his adversary’s speed, he is grabbed by his neck and the younger only has the time to lift his arms before his head gets fiercely smashed on the ground. Blood rushes in his ears and his vision darkens. He blinks rapidly, forcing his feet to stand back up and hold his quivering body before a foot can land on his side _again_. He is swaying left and right, the man’s laughing figure doubled by his unstable vision. He can feel a wet substance sliding down his left ear until it reaches his neck. _Great_.

His hearing comes back the exact moment to catch the following words, sending cold blood run in is veins; “Maybe I should now take care of your friends. I always wanted to beat the crap out of a Fae and Witch.”

Changbin’s body goes rigid. The sounds around him shuts down and everything outside the ring blurs out. He can feel it, the moment his eyes turn icy blue. He doesn’t really recall thinking about it, but an eyelash flap later, he is jumping at the wolf’s neck. The man sees him coming, but contrary to what his rival thinks he’s doing, Changbin isn’t going for his throat. At the last moment, just before another hit lands on him, he changes his trajectory, rounding the taller to face his back. He is too fast and unpredictable to be stopped, and he takes the moment of pure shock to dig his claws in the back of his enemy’s neck, dragging him backwards.

The beta is sent flying outside the circle, all the people suddenly jolting away from them. Technically speaking, if Changbin was still in his right mind, he would have stopped there, he already won; the man was out of the ring. However, the young wolf’s rage was only sent ablaze. His blue eyes turn pitch black, chasing away any whiteness or color they were once ornated with.

He crashes his right knee on the man’s chest, his whole-body weight on him, and he starts showering him with punches.

Right cheek, left cheek, right, left, right, left, until his jaw cracks and breaks. A blow to his nose, the results is immediate. It will leave a trace, blood starts splashing out of his nostrils. A hit to his eyebrow, it splits, then, to each of his eye. He stops for a second, head tilted to the sky, breath heaving. The silence is definite around him. His hands are bloody. He closes his eyes. The sun is burning his eyelids. He opens them again, let his claws out and lifts his hand high in the sky. The man is long passed out, but Changbin doesn’t really acknowledge it. He let his right arm fall, but before he can slit the beta’s throat, a hand grabs his wrist, abruptly stopping him.

It’s Moonbyul, expression stiff, but somehow, with a hitch of sadness in her black orbits.

“Enough, he already lost.”

She only lets him free when her brother’s eyes are back to their usual normal color, warm brown.

Changbin stands back on his feet and walks past her.

The crowd is silent. They make him a way when he walks toward them. They are not cheering and laughing, but he can feel the proudness emanating from them in the scent that’s floating in the air.

They probably didn’t like the beta that much. Or maybe their conscience got reassured by the fact that the alpha’s son is as strong as he should be. Whatever. It doesn’t matter.

When he reaches Seungmin and Jisung, a familiar voice calls out to him.

“CHANGBIN”

It’s Moonbyul. He turns around to face her to his left. As always, he can’t read her.

“Changbin”

It’s Chan, standing to his right, bright worried eyes flashed toward him.

Changbin doesn’t turn around to throw a last glance to his pack leader. His _old_pack leader, he corrects himself.

He walks toward Chan.

\---

They don’t talk on their way outside the village, only moves further and further unto the wild forest. Chan doesn’t ask anything; he will know later anyway. When Changbin is sure that he is far away from any prying undesirable supernatural hearing, he stops and turns around.

Hyunjin, Jisung and Seungmin are all standing behind Chan, and it’s easier to breathe when they are all by his side.

“Is everything alright?” Chan asks quietly, as if afraid to scare him away. Changbin looks absent but nods still. He can see from the corner of his eyes the rest exchange an unsure worried glance. Jisung shakes his head.

“Anyway, the phone call I got” Changbin lifts his eyes, eyebrows frowned. “It was Mrs. Hwang. She wants to see me for a meeting. Something about a mission.”

“So soon?” Seungmin asks surprised. “We finished the last mission yesterday.”

Chan sighs and crosses his arms. “It might not be so soon. I will be given the details of everything; we’ll see when it is scheduled for.”

“When do you have to go meet them? Will you go with Hyunjin?” The leader notices, that for the first time in god knows how long, Jisung is calling Hyunjin by his first name. An improvement at last. “Tonight. We will go together.” He puts his hand on Seungmin’s shoulder. “Seungminie and Jisung will go to the institute. No complaints.” He says when an annoyed expression marks their faces. “Hyunjin comes with me and Changbin…”

All eyes turn to him. He heaves out a breath. “I need to do something.” He looks at the ground. “You guys can go first; you will find me in the company when you’re done” he says to Chan.

The leader nods hesitantly. “We will go gather our things in the pack house and bid our goodbyes to everyone before leaving.”

Changbin nods, turning his back to them. He feels their stare on him, before they turn around and heads back to the village. He doesn’t move until he can’t hear their steps anymore.

“When are you planning to show yourself? They are gone.”

There is a movement in the air beside him and when he turns his head, Moonbyul is staring at him, her arms folded against her chest. “I’m sure your leader noticed my presence. It’s a surprise he didn’t comment on it.”

“Hyung is not noisy”

“Ouch” she says, a grin on her lips and a hand on her heart. “You’re attacking me, aren’t you?”

He shrugs. “If you feel like I am, there must be a reason to it”

There’s a silence.

He takes a few steps to the side, prompts himself on the floor, his back resting on a tree. He lifts his head to the sky. The sun is slowly ascending.

“Why did you do that? What happened to you? That wasn’t like you” She finally asks, her voice wanting to be scolding but sounding more worried than anything else.

“Then, what is? What is like me?” He glances at her; she’s staring at him. “It’s been such a long time since I last acted like myself. Like the Seo Changbin you used to know” She doesn’t say anything. “I don’t remember him anymore.” He puffs out.

“What happened to you?” she asks again, voice shaky. The question is the same, but she isn’t talking about his loss of control anymore. He doesn’t answer. What happened to him? When did Seo Changbin completely disappear? He knows the answer, but somehow, he doesn’t. Maybe he changed when he saw and heard the atrocities that happened to magical beings outside the safety of his pack. When he saw no-magical humans, living in complete peace, unaware that people of his kind slept in fear of having the secret of their existence, preserved for years, out in the open in the span of a day.  
Maybe he changed when he first heard about what happened to Jisung, to Chan. Maybe it was way before that, in that cabin in the woods. What happened to him?

“This is my fault. Everything that happened is my fault. I was the one who was supposed to look out after you that day. I was the one who let you out of my sight. You were the one who was supposed to become the Alpha. I stole it from you I-”

“Noona” he cuts her frantic speech, and she stops short. “Am I that pitiful in your eyes?” He stares at her and he can see the way her eyes widen. He looks back up at the sky. The moon is here. “Why do you look down at the choices I took? Is it that good, being an Alpha?” He looks at her, waits for an answer that doesn’t come. An angry sadness boils behind his eyes. “Does becoming an Alpha the only way to be successful? Why can’t I be happy without being a leader? Am I not allowed to admire and look up to others? Is that forbidden because I’m an Alpha’s son?”

He stands up and turns around to face his sister. It hurts, to see her expression full of pain. “Yes, I was supposed to be the next Alpha, but that was a decision made **for **me, not **by **me. WHY does everyone look down at me with those pitiful eyes? Why do YOU look at me with those pitiful eyes?” agony shakes his voice, and there’s no way of holding it in as it floods down his cheeks in translucent tears. 

“Binnie- I- I do not-”

“I do NOT want to become an Alpha, and that does NOT make me inferior to you. Miss. Lee who kills herself every single day to make a living for herself and her two twins is stronger than any of your fighters. That bastard you gave a title of Beta, is weaker than Sun herself. Not having a high title does NOT make me _weak_and pitiful.” He’s panting, and now, his tears aren’t one of grief anymore but of anger.

Moonbyul doesn’t say anything. A tear runs down her right cheek.

They stare at each other for a moment, before Changbin gives her his back, starting to walk away.

“Back then, when you turned your back on me, you know what it meant right?” The stiffness in her voice is forced. “You disobeyed me. You chose Chan instead of me. You finally found it Binnie, your pack. I hope he is a better Alpha and sibling to you than I ever was.” Her voice shakes. It’s melancholic, rather than sad.

Changbin turns around and meets her eyes. The sunset is illuminating her face, making her purple hair shine under the orange light. She smiles even though her eyes are watery, sparkling like diamonds in a river. Her hands are brought behind her back and her shoulders aren’t tense in the way they are when she is around others. For a second, it’s not Moonbyul the Luna that is staring at him, but Moonbyul his sister. The one who used to sneak candies to his room when he got scolded by his parents. The Moonbyul who signed his exams behind their mother’s back when he got a bad grade. The Moonbyul from before she started training to be the next leader and distanced herself from him. The Moonbyul from before he left the pack in the middle of the night with a backpack and a hundred bucks she had sneaked in his pocket.

He stares at her for a second longer, at her smile and eyes.

That Moonbyul, just like that Changbin, no longer exist outside faded memories and yellowed pictures. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I know that I broke my promise AGAIN. I did say that we would see Hyunjin's parents in this chapter but hey let's leave this chapter for Changbini. 
> 
> I was thinking about the ending of the au and kept wondering if it should be angsty or angsty ANGSTY. Should I make you guys (and myself as well let be honest) cry or cry CRY. Well, I guess you will know the final decision I took when this au ends hehe
> 
> Also! Changbin's sister is Mamamoo's Moonbyul YAAAY 
> 
> As always, thank you for reading and comments are so much appreciated hehe, See you!


	16. I'll Enjoy Watching You Suffer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW// Blood, Slavery, Inflicted pain (torture?) 
> 
> Very heavy chapter. I think you'll be able to handle it if you've come this far, but warning you before hand cuz it's an inch more.

The mission wasn’t supposed to be hard. At least, that's what Mrs. Hwang had said, with her usual confident voice and fierce eyes_. "You go in, buy the Siren, and get right out" As easy as that. Or so it had seemed in her perfectly red painted lips_.

Mrs. Hwang is one kind of a Woman, as flawless as a doll, as strong as an eagle; observing the world bellow her with her pierce eyes. But dolls are cold, and eagles unknowing of the frail and complex thing humans calls emotions.

Bang Christopher Chan knows her well for having lived under her roof for the past ten years, though no one can really say that they know Mrs. Hwang; her own son included. However, in that moment, a week ago, when he had sat in front of her in that _damned _pristine white living room, in her white sparkling dress, he _knew _the mission wasn't going to be as easy as she made it sound like. It wasn't really a Sherlock Holmes move from him; if anyone required JYP's forces, then, it certainly wasn't going to be a piece of cake.

_"Mr. Hwang and I can't go there ourselves, even if we would have _ _loved_ _to slit all of their throats like the pigs they are." Her red nailed hand rested on her folded legs, expressing a gloomy face as if she was saddened by the bad weather. "Because if we show interest in any of the goods in the auction, the price will immediately climb mountains." She pointed a hand toward Hyunjin, silently sitting between both of them. "Hyunjin will accompany you. My dear Channi, you sadly don't have the title to go there on you own, I'm sure you already know." _

He knows.

_"We already made a cover-up story; Hyunjin was sent by his parents to see how auctions and the word works in general. He is displeased to be forced to be there, so he decides to spend a little millions of dollars like the spoiled child he is. A moody rich spoiled brat" She waved her hand in the air, like if chasing a fly away. "Which isn't that much of a lie" her smile was wide and looked fake. Hyunjin did his best to respond to it. _He knows, although his mom doesn't look like it, that she's genuinely doing her best to be good enough for him. She's doing an awful job at it, always have been, but there's warmth in her, Hyunjin knows. Dug deep _deep fucking _down, but hey, it's there. Sometimes. Most of the times.

_"You Channi my dear will be there as his bodyguard, adopted protective brother, mentor, whatever The Trash there see fits. Doesn't matter" she took a sip from the red liquid on her diamond incrusted glass. _

_"Hyung is my brother. And he will be recognized as such." Hyunjin had said, eyes piercing and voice stern, though Chan could hear the fear in it. After hearing what Jisung had to say, Hyunjin certainly started seeing things from a different point of view. Maybe he was trying to convince himself that Chan is really part of his family. Maybe he was scared that the older will be taken away as easily as it is to replace a servant. _Chan will have to talk with him. Later.

_"Oh did I say something that might lead to a misunderstanding?" she lowered her glass and glanced at both of them before her eyes settled on her son. "Christopher is just like I said; your bodyguard, adopted brother, mentor. Or is that not the case?" Her right eyebrow was raised high. Hyunjin was about to say something but she stopped him with her right hand. "If I ask anyone what this is” she glanced at the glass of wine. “I might receive as many different answers as the number of people I interrogate.” She took a sip before continuing. “Some will say that it’s a glass. Others that it’s a red liquid. You might say that it’s blood and Chan might state that it’s a lifeline.” Mrs. Hwang bended toward her son. “All the answers would be correct because this” she raised the glass. “Is a single thing, but at the same time, so much more. It’s the same thing with Channie, Baby.” She took another sip. “I can’t control which side of him people see.” _

_Their personal slave. _That’s how Jisung saw him. It hurts, but at the same time, he’s numb to it. Have been to pain for so many years. Chan knows the position he holds in the Hwang household. He knows that he’s at the same time a servant, an object in Mr. and Mrs. Hwang hands, a prisoner allowed to feely walk around because they wrapped a chain around his neck. It doesn’t really bother him, Chan’s just grateful that he’s given the chance to live. Yet, the fact that Han Jisung sees him this way, unexpectedly hurts.

Though he didn’t really have time to linger on it. Nor does he have right now.

“Hwang” Hyunjin says, hands in the pockets of his suit, posture disinterested. Chan stands behind him as he waits for the security to find their, Hyunjin’s actually, name in the system.

“It’s a pleasure Mr. Hwang” the woman politely bows, opening the gate for him.

Hyunjin doesn’t spare her a glance as he enters the long dark hallway. 

The sole of his shoe resonates in the silence and the more he walks, the darker it gets. It’s like walking in a never-ending tunnel.

Hyunjin stops walking when he can’t see his feet below him. They lost sight of the front door a while ago when they turned a corner, and the only thing he can hear is the furious beating of his heart and the effort it takes him to force air in.

“Use your night vision.” A voice whisper behind him. Hyunjin closes his eyes, and takes a deep breath in. Right, Chan hyung is with him. Right by his side, like he always had been since himself is ten. Maybe Han Jisung is right. Maybe he took Chan for granted because he can’t imagine his life without him anymore.

“You’re a vampire Hyunjin. A pure blood at that. Not a mere magicless human. Darkness is as useful to you as your fangs. **_Use it _**to your advantage.”

When he opens his eyes again, they are bright red. He can’t see them, but he can feel it. He starts walking again, trying to gain back confidence in his steps. Chan was right, like he always had been; with his night vision on, he can walk as easily as he would in a lightened hallway. The fear is still there, but it isn’t insuperable any longer.

There’s a huge double door at the end of the vestibule. Two men, on either side of it, opens it for them when they reach it, and light immediately floods in.

The room is similar to a ballroom. It’s crowded of people, standing around high tables holding multiple drinks and fruits. They all are nicely dressed, not extravagant, but chic.

“Mr. Hwang! It’s such a pleasure to see you here! It’s your first time isn’t it?”

Hyunjin glares at the man approaching them with a raised eyebrow. His face looks familiar, but he has not a single idea on who he is.

“The pleasure is all mine Mr…” The young vampire doesn’t look the closest to being pleased. His hands are back in his suit, and he gives off, just like his mother had so kindly described, _‘A moody rich spoiled brat’ _vibe_. _If Jisung would to be here, Hyunjin surprise himself thinking, he would either absolutely despise or love his attitude. Given the type of trash they are surrounded with, Hyunjin opts for the second one.

“Choi Hyunsuk, Ex- CEO of YG” Chan says, approaching to stand beside Hyunjin. “I’m genuinely surprised to see you here Mr. Choi, thought after the last scandal, the Supreme Court wouldn’t let you go that easily.”

“Bang Chan.” The man says, as if he has something uncomfortable stuck between his teeth. “The Hwang’s dog. Of course, you’d be here.”

Hyunjin’s cocky mask stumbles at his feet and he moves forward as if to say something, but a firm hand on his shoulder stops him. “A dog, a rat or a wolf. They all bite Mr. Choi” Chan says with a calm voice.

“And If I were you” Hyunjin says with flashing red eyes. “I’d keep my distance from my brother and filthy mouth shut if you don’t want to be bitten and catch the rage.”

Hyunjin walks away, boiling with anger. He doesn’t have to look behind him to know that Chan is there, just like he knows that he’ll be scolded. “Emotions are a weapon Jinnie” He takes a glass of blood from a server that just passed by them. He hands it to the younger over his shoulder. “If you don’t control them properly, they’ll be used _against _**you**.”

Someone else approach them, and this time, it’s a couple of Elves. Hyunjin wears back his smile and welcomes them with the same unbothered all mighty attitude; his family’s signature. The Hwangs rarely fake anything; if they don’t like you, you’ll be the first to know. There’s a rumor going around that they are uncapable of a genuine smile, and Hyunjin himself has to admit that he never remembers ever seeing that kind of expression on his parents’ face.

An hour pass by like that, greeting people left and right, and pretend like there’s nothing pressing. The task is obviously easier for Chan, who pulls his emotionless face so majestically. Another façade of him, Hyunjin supposes. Something he probably had to master under all the years training in JYP forces and living under the Hwangs’ household. Sometimes, just like this exact moment, Chan feels like a stranger. There are so many things he realizes that he doesn’t know about the older.

Another thing is, Hyunjin thinks as he takes another sip of blood, _A+ _he recognizes, Chan knows every single person present tonight. It’s always impressing how much names and information his brain can store. ‘_To know people is to know your enemy’s weakness.’ _Or so he always said.

“There” Chan mumbles under his breath.

Hyunjin immediately notices what he’s staring at.

A woman dressed in a silky red dress enters the ballroom. She stands close to the wall opposite the double door they passed through a while ago. A man brings her a glass and a knife, and with the latter, she gently hits the glass to get everyone’s attention. When silence falls in, she clears her throat; “We would like to ask our VIP members to follow us through this door.” She points to a small black door to her left. “To our regular guests, please follow through this one” There’s a similar, this one white, to her right. “The auctions will be starting soon.”

_“VIP” Mrs. Hwang had said with a smirk on her lips, a golden card between her fingers. “The auction there is different from the regular ones. It’s like-” Her hand holding her shin, she whispered “An open door to the dark web.” _

The stairs going down beyond the black door cracks under each step Hyunjin takes. It’s dark again, and he can feel the tears climb up his eyes. Panic scratches in his chest, not because of the darkness, but due to the tears. He can’t be weak. He can’t. The guests will sense it. He will be seen as he truly is; a pathetic weakling. He continues going down on the tight wooden stairs because there are guests behind him, but it feels like he’s going to fall head first anytime.

A hand intertwin with his own, and Hyunjin almost jumps out of his skin. He dissimulates his startle with a cough, and thankfully, no one seem to have noticed.

Hyunjin squeezes back Chan’s hand. Right, Chan is here. His older brother is here. Right by his side. He is not a kid anymore; he is not locked in that warehouse. He’s safe, and powerful, and this stupid fear of his can be damned.

The end of the stairs opens to an auditorium. Red chairs are lined up in front of a huge stage.

Hyunjin waits until Chan walks past him to fellow him to the back of the room.

Man and Woman dressed in black start walking through the room when all the VIP guests are sitted down, passing neon numbered cards. Chan examines the bright green eight he’s given, a smile stretching his lips. “Let the show began” he says with a grin.

He brings a hand to his left earring and murmurs “CB97 to SpearB do you hear me?”

Hyunjin glances around them. No one is paying them attention, in the dim light, they are either chatting with their partners or eagerly staring at the empty stage.

_“10/10 Boss” _Changbin rough voice says in his ear. _“We’re 80% ready. DAY6 are checking with the agents if everything’s in place” _

Chan nods to himself before he brings his hand back up and turn off his hidden earpiece.

The stage suddenly light up, and with it, the silence falls. A man in a deep blue suit shows up. “Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s a pleasure to have you here” he smiles around the room. “We have a special item in the end of the show, so I hope everyone looks forward to it”

_Items_, Hyunjin scoffs. Those assholes. Those _fucking _assholes. _Items_.

“Right away, we will bring in the first piece.” He gestures with his hand to the side of the stage. “William please.”

A black leathered container is brought on stage. William, or so he got called, pulls off the blanket.

Hyunjin’s heart skips a beat. He thought he prepared himself mentally enough to what he would be seeing tonight, yet, nothing could have prepared him to _this_.

Wings. 2 meters long wings. Naked of their owner, stripped, torn, from a fae’s back. There’s dried blood where the wings used to be attached to someone’s back. It’s like seeing ripped limbs showcased like one would with a precious article in a museum. Hyunjin wants to throw up. He has the huge urge to run away, scream and sob.

In his short 20 years of life, he has seen some hideous atrocities. Heck, he committed half of them. Ripped throats, torn limbs, a bleeding heart in his owner’s mouth. He’s a vampire damn it. If his childhood had miraculously been devoid of any sight of blood beside the one he drank at lunch, the Blood Trial he attended was enough showcase of human slaughter, or should he say _vampire _slaughter, in a lifetime. Hyunjin had been trained to kill. To make one suffer and enjoy the sound of cracking bones and gagging sounds as his victims choked on their own blood. Yet, all those he killed and watched being killed had deserved it; merciless bloodthirsty serial killers.

It’s not really the fact that whoever these wings belonged too had been innocent, no, it’s the appearance of the Wings that makes Hyunjin want to murder all the people in this room.

_The Tainted Soul._

Or so they call them. A wing turned black; given to a Fae who committed the greatest crime in the Fairy’s realm; taking a life.

Just like someone he knows. _Han Jisung_, his mind screams.

He needs to physically hold down his right hand to suppress it from calling Changbin through is earpiece and _beg _him to call Jisung and check up on him. Jisung is far away from here, he reminds himself. Miles away from Busan, in Seoul in his new institution where he must be complaining with Seungmin on not being able to participate in the mission.

Hyunjin knows what had happened to the fae. What had been done to him. Why, one of his wings is tainted.

The scene in front of him hits too close to home. Yes, he had fought with Han Jisung a thousand and one times, but he would never want something like this to happen to the younger. He’s someone important to Chan, to Changbin and Seungmin, and now, he has become important to Hyunjin as well. Which makes it all the harder.

It feels like his heart is falling at his feet. That it’s being stepped on and crashed in one’s fist. It shouldn’t affect him this much. It shouldn’t. Yet, it does.

Chan reaches his hand toward him for the third time in the evening alone.

_“I don’t think Hyunjin is ready yet” Changbin had said in one of JYP’s meeting rooms with their manager and high executives. “The things he will see in the private auction, I’m afraid he won’t be able to hide his emotions. Even if his face is blank, his scent and aura will betray him” _

Hyunjin remembers that he had scoffed, the thought that Changbin’s words might turn unto reality never once crossing his mind.

Yet, the hacker had been right.

He meets Chan’s eyes, in a jolt of shame that he might be disappointing his older brother, he forces his heart to calm down and focuses back on the stage. The crowd were still eagerly fighting to be the possessor of the wings.

“The Tainted Soul’s wings, like I’m sure everyone believes so, are known as being weaker than your normal typical sparkly shinny ones.” The man with the mic says in despise. “Yet, it’s absolutely false.” He lets his statement settles in as some quietly chatters in surprise. “The amount of magic the fae who has a Tainted Soul is divided in half; Pure Magic, and Dark magic.”

He walks forward to the edge of the stage.

“Very few Fae can balance both; either they lose control over their new gained dark side and gets killed for it, or they rely only on their remaining pure magic and become unable to fly.”

Hyunjin frowns his eyebrows. That is something he didn’t know.

“Witches and Wizards use them for the immense power they hold.” Chan says, his eyes still fixed in front of him.

Other _items _come in, every single one as outrageous as the other: Elves’ ears, a Goblin’s heart, a knife still tinted in blood from the last life it took and even magicless _Humans_. Slaves.

Chan’s hand fly back to his ear when a handful of fearful shaking women are brought on stage. “Everything is being recorded right?”

_“As clear as day. In 1080p. Just keep your eyes on stage, even if it’s hard to watch. The cameras as implanted in your contact lens don’t forget” _Changbin says behind the sound of his fingers furiously hitting his keyboard in light speed.

When the poor humans are taken backstage, the tension in the room climbs an inch. It’s the final piece, and everyone is anticipating.

“We’ll talk after the article is on stage. I don’t want to keep you waiting more than you already have.” He takes multiple steps back. “William”

Suddenly, the red veil the presenter had been standing in front of falls down.

Behind where it once stood, is a huge rectangular object neither Chan nor Hyunjin can properly see yet. William and multiple other workers start pushing on it, and it easily slides forward under the light.

There are multiple gasps.

The rectangular object, just like Chan had guessed, is an aquarium. Inside, is a Siren. The boy looks like he is around Chan and Hyunjin age. He has strong piercing eyes he currently is using to glare at his audience. His skin not a bluish tone, but not entirely. The skin above his tail naturally merges unto scales. His tail is a mix of purple and dark blue. From either side of his neck, are barely noticeable slits in where his gills are located. When he smashes his hands against the glass, extra skin between his fingers can be seen.

Chan can’t tear his eyes from him. His lower lip is bleeding, and he has bruises all over his upper body. There’s a bone pocking out on his left side; a broken rib he recognizes for already having his own broken before.

“A mermaid, in flesh and blood.” The announcer says in a bright energic voice. “their specie prefers to stay undercover in the deepest oceans, the reason why they are so rare to be seen.” A ladder is brought to him and with a teaser in hand, he climbs it slowly until he is standing above the water tank. “This one strayed from his home for whatever stupid reason. Maybe he wanted to explore land or fell in love like Ariel” he says in a mocking voice that makes the crowd erupts in laughter. “It’s good news for us, because one of our informants caught him and brought him to us”

The mermaid recoils back as far away as he can from the man, his eyes trembling as he glares at the teaser in his hand. Those are eyes of someone who already has tasted the pain it procures; Chan comprehends with a grim expression. They most have dressed him, just like one would whip a horse so it knows what waits for it if it doesn’t listen. 

“This one is especially precious” The man says. “He can transform his body at wish.”

He glares down at the siren. “Show them” he says between gritted teeth.

There’s a long second when nothing happens. The siren continues to glare at the man, then, he looks away.

Hyunjin has the strange impression that he is now glaring at _him_. This time, he doesn’t look away. His tail starts changing, and slowly, it separated in half and two legs forms.

People start clapping, like if they are in a circus.

The man of the show smirks. He lowers his teaser and dip it under the water.

The mermaid screams under the pain. His body jolt and his legs give up under him. His knees hit the ground in a thud the moment his voice gives up. His legs disappear faster than they appeared, replaced back by his tail. Chan can hear him pant through the chatters and loud yells of excitement of the crowd. He can hear the mermaid’s heart frantically beat inside his rising chest. Himself is trembling just watching him grit his teeth to swallow down the agony.

“When he is in human form” The Crap, Chan decides to call him, almost yell to quieten down the discussions in the audience. “He can be electrocuted just like any of us.” He climbs down the ladder. “But when he has his tail back, his body can easily resist it just like you can see.”

Chan never felt a stronger urge to kill someone as he is right now. Changbin was wrong. He shouldn’t have worried about Hyunjin giving themselves away. He is the one causing the strongest problem right now. His chest is heaving under the rage he is feeling and the only thing he wants to do is slash the Crap’s throat and drain him of all his fucking nasty blood. He wants to inflict _pain_. No, _agony_. 

He is sure his anger can be felt around the room, because he can feel the siren’s. He can almost taste every emotion swirling in the waters around him; shame, wrath, pain, revenge. Chan knows he can’t let himself feed of off it, but he barely is managing to stay sitted in place.

What’s stopping him from slitting every single throat in this building, bathing in their blood and burn the building down?

_“-an, Chan listen to me” _

There’s a familiar voice calmly talking in his ear, and Chan tries to focus on it.

_“If you kill them, it will be the end of this auction, but hundreds of others will still take place around the country. Thousands around the world. Innocents like Lee Minho ripped from their homes. You won’t be changing a single damn thing.” _It’s Younk’s voice, Chan recognizes. He repeats his name in his brain like a mantra, trying to bring himself back; YoungK hyung, Younghyun hyung, Brian hyung. Youngk hyung, Younghyun hyung, Brian- _“We need whoever is organizing these events alive. We need to stop this from the roots”_

“150 000$ FOR NUMBER 77”

Voices explodes back in his head like a video suddenly put on loud volume. He tries not to flinch. Hyunjin is holding his hand, he notices only now.

“300 000$ FOR 96”

Hyunjin meets his eyes. He doesn’t say anything, but his eyes speak louder than any words could.

“500 000$ FOR MR.105, WHO HAS MORE TO OFFER?” There’s silence in the room. “NO ONE? ONE, TWO-”

Hyunjin stands up. “2Millions”

The announcer stares at him with wide eyes. “2 M-Millions for NUMBER 8” excitement makes his voice shake. His eyes look like they will fall off.

“2,2 Million” someone says.

The young vampire doesn’t even turn his head to the stranger. He keeps them fixed on the mermaid who’s staring straight ahead soullessly, standing high on his tail.

“2.7” he says before the filthy man can announces it in his microphone.

“3Million”

The mermaid meets eyes with Hyunjin who can’t help but feel a shiver run down his spine. He looks away, and turn his attention to the person who’s challenging him. “5Million”

Chatters rise around the auditorium. Hyunjin is tired, and this time, when he looks down at the MC, he doesn’t hide his fury.

“ONE FOR MR. HWANG.” The middle-aged man looks around the room, as if begging for anyone to stand here instead of him. “TWO FOR MR. HWANG.” Hyunjin will find great pleasure in hearing the skins rip and bones crack as he gets beheaded. “THREE FOR MR. HWANG CONGRATULATION”

_“Great, we are now 100% ready”_Changbin’s low pressed voice says. The VIP guests stand up all at the same time when the lights turn back on and the aquarium holding Lee Minho, get taken backstage. _“There’s a dissimulated door behind you. It has no handle, but you’ll be able to feel it under your touch”_

Chan stands up, and without a single more wasted second, get out of his chair and presses his back against the wall behind him. Indeed, he feels the uneven wood of the door as soon as he touches it. Hyunjin stands in front of him to pretend that they are chatting.

For a moment, all they can hear is the keyboard keys clicking under Changbin’s fingers. _“The door will open in three, two, one-”_There’s a definite _bip_. _“Get through that door right now. Don’t worry about being seen, I’ll lock the door as soon as it closes behind you. If someone chases you down, we’ve got your back, our forces are getting ready to barge in.” _

Chan enters the opening backward and Hyunjin immediately follows after him without a single glance around him. As soon as they are in the dim lighted hallway, the door closes behind them, just like Changbin had promised.

The soundproof walls immediately drown any previous sound, and for once, Hyunjin welcomes the silence.

_“Just walk straight ahead. I’ll guid-” _He stops short, and breathless, he almost screams in their ear. “_FUCK fuck fu- Chan, Chan hide, there’s someone coming I didn’t see them, it’s so dark and- oh f-“_

“May I help you Gentlemen?” A man in black is standing in front of them. He has his eyebrow hitched. “I don’t think you should be here.” He swiftly reaches for his back pocket, where Chan knows is his gun. Maybe Chan would be fast enough to rip his head off before he warns anyone that two guests are trespassing. Or maybe the guard will be able to shoot one of them and they can say goodbye to the mission.

Chan and Hyunjin share a glance.

“I won’t be asking again who-”

“They’re with me” comes a sudden voice. The man snaps back.

The stranger takes a step forward under the dim light. “They’re friends and I’m simply showing them around. Or am I not allowed too?”

Yang Jeongin. With his dimples and fennec like eyes. Aura as dreadful as it was back in the abandoned mansion. Chan would recognize those eyes between millions.

“N-no of course not. If they’re with the young Mister, then I’ll be leaving.” And as quickly as he had showed up, he disappears. 

Jeongin’s threatening smile falls down and he giggles. All the scary vibe is gone like it never was there to begin with. He looks like a cute high school student, about to ask them if they could buy him ice cream. _Out of place. _

He walks toward them confidently as if they’ve known each other for years. “Hyung! I’m so happy to see you again, I’ve been waiting for this day”

Hyunjin blinks repeatedly, surprised. “H-Hi?”

He glances at Chan who is frowning his eyebrows. “What are you doing here?”

Jeongin keeps smiling but his eyes have lost their sparkles. He looks disappointed.  
  
“We’re in Busan hyung” he lifts his hands around him, as if to make them realize where they are. “I hate to show off, but the Yang are one of the founders of the city.” He runs his hand in his hair. “Nothing in Busan take place without our approval. This auction included.”

“You _allowed _this?” Hyunjin scoff is disbelief. “Your family is one of the organizers of this human trafficking?”

Jeongin’s smile has vanished. His eyes are back to being two sharp knife and he looks no less than terrifying. Hyunjin would have flinched back if he isn’t this disappointed and furious. “We were the ones that called JYP.” Jeongin says, pointing his finger at Hyunjin’s chest as he takes a step forward. “We were the ones that suggested to contact the Hwangs because contrary to us, they have a foot deep in these kind of _shit_”

“My parents would never purchase anything from these auctions.” Hyunjin’s tone is defensive and has no bite to it. He knows the younger is right.

Jeongin shrugs. “They still participate in them. Heck you wouldn’t have that golden VIP card otherwise.”

“Okey both of you enough.” Chan sighs loudly. “I’m sorry Jeongin, I hadn’t been informed that the Yang would be involved. That _you_would be here”

“Oh it’s alright” He smiles wide. “I wasn’t originally going too but when I heard that _you_would take on the mission, I insisted on coming. To help you out” Jeongin starts walking down the hallway. Chan and Hyunjin follows after him.

“Help out? How would you be able too?” Hyunjin arcs an eyebrow.

Jeongin doesn’t look at them. He turns a corner, then another. “We carefully choose which building to give them. This one in particular is not very secure. It’s a very old edifice you know. We made sure it would make JYP’s task easier.” They walk through a door and comes unto a larger hall. “I requested this one because it has very high… _activities_in it”

“Activites?” Hyunjin asks suspiciously.

“Yeah” Jeongin laughs embarrassedly. “Paranormal activities”

There’s a silence. Hyunjin shivers but Chan doesn’t look that bothered.

“The voices guide me” Jeongin says after a moment of silence. “They are not harmful to me. Most of them at least.”

He stops in front of a double door. This one is red.

The room behind it is empty besides the aquarium in the center. It’s about the size of a classroom.

Their steps echoes against the walls when they approach the siren.

He is glaring at them. He looks majestic even with the metal chain wrapped around his neck, his bleeding lower lip, dark purple bruises on his chest and his misplaced bone. Lee Minho is imposing, with his vibrant scales and fierce burning gaze.

Hyunjin wants to cower away.

When Jeongin, Chan and Hyunjin are about a meter away, they place their right knee on the floor. Their heads stare at the ground and they position their hands, so they are at eyesight.

_“Why him?” Chan had asked. Even after the whole mission and plans had been presented to him, there was still this feeling inside his stomach telling him that they were hiding something from him. “I mean- It isn’t unusual for secret agent companies like us to take down human trafficking, but for this to require the help of the Hwang family, fifty of our agents, 3racha and DAY6, it all seem too big of scale for something 3racha or any other trainee group can handle alone.” He raised his gaze to Mrs. Hwang who starred at him with a grin. “And why insist on securing the safety of the siren Lee Minho in particular? What aren’t you telling me?” _

_Mrs. Hwang lowered her glass on the table. She unfolded her legs. “Lee Minho is no normal mermaid like the people in the auction think he is. If his true identity were to get out, a war would explode.” _

Chan’s voice is low, and he keep his head down. “It’s an honor to meet you your Majesty.” The room suddenly gets colder. Chan shivers. He can feel Minho’s glare on the back of his head.

_“Lee Minho, youngest son of his Majesty the King Poséidon. The runaway prince” Mrs. Hwang had whispered._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKEY wow oof- finally publishing a chapter after a MONTH. Very sorry for the long wait, though I hope this chapter has been worth the wait. (In the past month, I wrote two new short aus "Latibute" and "Oh Sweet Summer Child" which you can read on my profile while waiting for the next chapter hehe) 
> 
> Anyway, back to the chapter, HIS MAJESTY PRINCE MINHO IS FINALLY HERE my poor baby sorry for making you wait and suffer. Also, IN is back and we finally know a bit more about Jisung's black wing *clap clap clap*
> 
> Shout out to DAY6 for making a cameo, I love yall. 
> 
> My finger hurts for smacking it against the doorway so that might affect how quick/much I write lmao but hey I'll do my best to release the next chapter as soon as possible, 
> 
> As always, thank you for reading and comments are always so much appreciated!!


	17. A Blind Future

"Your majesty?" Lee Minho's head is out the water. He scoffs. "Do I look like a fucking prince to you? I look like a golden fish thrown down the toilet because its 5years old owner thought it was dead"

He looks down at the three boys in front of him with a raised eyebrow. Who are they to know who he really is? Had they been sent by his father? No way that old man probably threw a party when he heard that he ran away _again_.

"You're the one that bought me, aren't you?" he glares at the tall one with long hair on the left. "If I'm being honest, I'm worth far more than 5 little Millions. But if you're that rich, I want a huge aquarium I can swim in, not like this damn box. And I bite so don't approach. Did you hear the legend that Sirens eat men? Well I'm more on shark meat but I won't hesitate to tear your limbs apart and have a bite"

The stranger blinks at him repeatedly, fear apparent in his eyes. If he's scared of him, that's a plus for Minho. The three are looking at him with wide stunned. The one who purchased him, and the one with the baby looks turn their gaze to the one in the middle. He must be their leader.

"No one will put you in an aquarium ever again, it's a promise" He stands up. "We came to save you"

There's a silence. They can't be serious. Minho erupts in a laugh that resonates through the room. He bends down in half, holding his side. A sharp pain jolt his body and he stop laughing to take a deep breath in. "Don't make me laugh, my rib is broken" he says breathlessly. "Who do you think you are, my prince in shining armor? Aren’t you supposed to come in a white horse or something?"

"Your majesty we're just-"

"Don't call me that" he cuts, and suddenly, he’s irritated. "You know what? I don't care who you are just-" Minho pulls at the chain around his neck. His skin underneath is red and there’s dried blood on the sides. "Get this off me"

The three strangers look at each other, like if not having thought of this part. Minho rolls his eyes. "What you are serious? You came to _save _me and didn't even think of how to remove this crap?"

The baby-faced boy starts fumbling in his jean pockets. "Wait- I stole this from a guard." he pulls out a handful of keys attached together to a metal ring. "I don't know if it's going to work but-"

The leader rips it from his hand and takes a step forward. He throws it to Minho who grins as he catches it with a single hand.

A minute later, the heavy chains fall down.

"So" Minho says, cracking his neck. It's been so long since he was able move freely like this. "Who's going to give me a piggyback ride?" He lifts his eyes when he receives no answer. "What? Didn't you say that you came to save me? Do it properly till the end."

The leader moves forward. "I'll do it" he stares around him and his eyes stops on a ladder in the far corner. The one they use to threaten or throw vulgar food at him, Minho recognizes. He doesn't say anything, only presses his lips shut and wait until the boy is standing in front of him.

"Do you think you can pull yourself out and get a hold on my back?"

Minho doesn't answer. He simply nods. His side and muscles hurt when he presses his palms on the sharp edge of the glass, but a boost of adrenaline makes him succeed on the first try. He wraps his arms around the other's neck and when he has a secure hold, finishes dragging his tail completely out the water.

"Can I hold your tail? I don't want to make you fall"

Minho nods on his shoulder and once the leader's arms have a hold on his tail, it's much more comfortable. He sadly currently doesn't have any energy to summon his legs, so this is the only one.

"My name is Bang Chan by the way" the blonde hair says when he starts climbing down the ladder with a single hand.

_Chan_, Minho repeats in his head.

_I wonder what type of person you are Bang Chan. _

He rests his head on his shoulder, completely drained out of his energy. It was fear that made him ramble so much when they first showed up, but now that he is free of his chains and out of that bloody hell of a tank, adrenaline is washing off him like a hole in a filled pool.

An alarm starts blazing above their heads, red light coloring their blank faces. It's so loud, yet, it's at the same time so quiet.

None of his new companions says anything, and Minho grasps that he doesn't really care where they're taking him.

He feels numb. Unbothered. Soulless. Like if he is observing everything from a third person point of view and doesn't have any lines left; just forced to lay there and watch as the words continues to run around him.

It's silent, inside his head. He hears an unfamiliar voice through Chan's earpiece, but yet stay there unmoving as he gets carried on this stranger's back. It’s warm.

_"Day6 are in. Division J are currently in the VIP section. I'm waiting for you by the front door." _The raspy voice says.

"Have an ambulance ready" Chan orders.

_"Already is Boss" _Minho has a sudden thought running in his mind. _For who? _

He doesn't really care, just hopes that it isn't for Bang Chan, because Minho doesn't want to move nor get off. A memory crosses his mind. His nanny is carrying him on her back, swimming up and down the desert castle hallways to get him to sleep, a lullaby murmured in the muteness of the ocean.

_Even if it’s hard and tiring, don’t give up  
Don’t push yourself away, you just need time  
Afterwards, when you look back  
Tell yourself this_

_You’re doing fine  
You’re doing fine  
Have strength, just endure a little more  
I’ll be next to you_

Minho doesn't hear the scream and fights going in the main entrance. He looks completely unbothered, eyes closed and chest heaving unevenly.

"I think he fell asleep" Jeongin whispers, although it is useless in the loud noises around them. Hyunjin nods, eyes casted on the sleeping mermaid.

Chan, is looking around him.

They are back in the ballroom. Their argent, dressed in black, are dragging people out of the two doors they earlier got instructed to follow; the VIP one and regular customers one.

A wolf is roaring in the center, growling at anyone who shows too much resistance. When he notices Chan stopping by his side, all previous threats vanishes and he happily howls.

"Hey Wonpil hyung"

Hyunjin and Jeongin exchanges a surprised glance.

"Thank you for the hard work" Chan says as he bows his head. The wolf yelps. "Yes, it's his majesty Lee Minho, although he ordered us not to call him that way" The animal makes another sound. "Yeah he's injured, we're trying to get him help as fast as we can."

"You understand what's he's saying?" Jeongin asks with wide eyes. He stares at Hyunjin when he gets ignored by the leader. The younger vampire simply shrugs.

"Thank you, we'll be heading off then. Have a nice work" Chan bows his head again before he walks off, this time, faster. Minho has probably only fallen asleep from exhaustion, but Chan can't be sure of the gravity of his injuries. He can hear the mermaid’s heart frantically beating.

The cold night air smashes him in the face as soon as he steps out, forcing him to take a deep breath in. An ambulance is waiting for them, encircled by around twenty black cars. A news channel white van is washing its light on their faces and curious crowd of passerby is starting to form behind the yellow danger band.

Two paramedics quickly runs toward them. "He has a broken rib. Please be careful" Chan says as he lowers Minho down on the stretcher.

A sudden wave of anxiety washes over him, and Chan has to hold Hyunjin's arm to not fall down. The world abruptly turns blurry and it feels like someone has punched him in the chest. There are voices trying to speak to him, but he can't comprehend any, every sound distorting around him.

His vision clears for a second and Jeongin's face appears in front of him. His lips are moving but he can't hear him.

Chan almost jumps in his arms, holding his elbow in a deathly grip. "Je-Jeongin" he chokes. "Pl-please. Please go with him. Go with M-Minho" He brings him closer so he can see his fennec like eyes better. "You know Busan. Please protect him. S-Stay by his side."

Jeongin nods again, fear and panic swirling in his eyes. Chan pushes him back, and with that, the younger disappears.

Another wave crashes on his head, and it feels like he is being dragged under water. His head is bouncing, and he can hear his heart furiously beat in his throat.

His legs are too weak to hold the wrack of emotions above the ocean, so they give up under him and send him crumbling to the floor. He barely registers Hyunjin's presence by his side, but he can't feel him. His eyes go in and out of focus. He's drowning. He's going to drown in the darkness of the ocean, and no one will notice. He's dying. He's-

A jolting pain in his right cheek violently drags him out back to reality. The buzzing in his ears subside enough to hear Changbin's racked voice. The blur dissipates to the edges, and the only thing he can see is his face, stained with running tears falling one after the other like a faucet not properly closed. _Tic. Tac. Tic. Tac. Tic. Tac. _

"Jisung" Changbin says, kneeling on the floor in front of him. "It's Jisung's pain. Not yours. Jisung's."

_Jisung. _

The name resonates in his head.

_Jisung. _

\---

Miles and Miles of lands. Mountains and forests; a beautiful painting of green and blue above their heads.

The fresh breeze plays in Jisung's hair. It's feels like the tender caress of his mother. The scents of nature smashes him in the face and makes his heart skips a bit.

He takes a deep breath in, allowing his lungs to live for the first time in years.

His eyes travel to his side, to where _he _is standing.

The boy turns his head to meet Jisung's eyes, and he smiles. Big and wide. Again, something Jisung hadn't seen in years.

His freckles are like stars during the summer nights back home, shining brightly under the dazing sunlight. His eyes are glowing and his lips part open to relieve bright white teeth.

Felix's usual pink hair is now red; droplets of blood from strands of hair falls unto his flushed cheeks.

His smile falters when he looks at Jisung, and he moves his right hand to whip at his left cheek. "Han-ah, why are you crying?" he asks softly in a forgotten low voice.

Jisung blinks repeatedly. He lowers his head to his hands and frantically whips at his cheeks. His face is wet and greasy, and he knows that he is spreading blood everywhere without having to look in the mirror. "I don't- I don't know" he says honestly. His brain is blurry, and he can't seem to be able to sort out his thoughts. It feels like a heavy grey cloud inside his head.

"I- I think I had a dream" he looks up. Felix is observing him patiently. "A nightmare actually" Jisung scoffs. "You weren't here anymore. And there was nothing I could do but be in pain and miss you" his eyes hazes with tears and he looks down at their feet. His voice breaks. "It's so terrible Lix. Missing someone. Desperately wanting to reach out but being unable to" His eyes travels up. Felix squeezes his hand. "Missing you is so terrible Lix." Tears run down his cheeks and wash off the stains of blood on their way down.

"It doesn't matter" Felix says with a sad smile. "We're together now"

They start walking toward the tree line. They stride over a body on the floor, the grass around it has turned red. There's another one with a burned face to their right, and yet another corpse with his right arm missing to their left. Jisung knows there's a couple hundred others behind him, back in the building, but he doesn't look back. Nor does Felix.

"Let's fly" the younger says, looking up at the sky. "It may be the last time"

Jisung nods. “Just like before”

“Just like before.” Felix smiles, spreading his wings.

His own are already open, he notices only now. He looks at them above his shoulder, and instead of what he strangely had expected, both of them are sparkly golden. Why did he think that they would look any different?

Felix lets go of his hand when he is too high in the air for him to reach. Already missing the warmth it procured, Jisung flaps his wings. A second later, his feet leaves the ground and he is flying beside his twin. 

It feels incredibly good; the air swiping at his body and wings, the feeling that he weighs less than a feather. He follows Felix, who after some pirouettes with the wind, goes to sit on the edge of the a nearby cliff.

The view from there is breathtaking, even with the stain that is the research building. It looks prettier with the corps, blood and flames, Jisung thinks. The once pristine white was too overwhelming.

"Hanni"

Felix is looking at him with insistence, like if he wants to take in every single detail of his face, of the way he talks, of the way his eyes twinkles when he smiles. Jisung finds himself doing the same thing.

"What is going to happen to us?" there is fear in his voice. Jisung can feel it boiling inside his own chest. He adverts his eyes to the forest bellow their feet.

"They are probably going to kill us" the words leave his mouth smoothly, and it feels like someone else is talking for him. "Or ban us from the Fairy realm"

Felix nods. He watches his legs swings in the void bellow. The ground seems so far away, even if he logically knows that it isn't. "Will you miss it?"

Jisung shakes his head. "I will miss the places we went too. The Beaches we swam in. The convenience store we used to buy ramen and snacks from. The tree house between our two houses. The parc we hang out in all the time when there was nowhere else to go." He smiles at him. "They are precious because they are filled with the memory of the two of us" A tear rolls down his cheek, washing off some dried blood. "Home is where you are Lix, but even that will be taken from us."

Felix reaches his hand and hold his. He's crying tears of blood. "Find me Hanni." His hold on his hand tightens. "Wherever I'll be,_find me_" A sob wracks his body, and more blood pours down. Jisung's body is frozen. He wants to hide him in his arms and protect him but there's nothing he can do. "Please Song, I _can't _continue to live without you anymore" Felix's face blurs and the ground bellow Jisung disappears. He's falling but it's suddenly dark and all he can hear is his twin's panicked and begging voice. "_Please find me"_

Jisung abruptly sits up on his bed. Dizziness takes control of his head and he almost falls right back. He gasps for air, but his lungs are in flames and he wants to crawl his nails inside them. He’s whizzing and his ears ring like a piece of glass on a green board.

The lamp besides his bed turns on and it blinds him, making him blink repeatedly.

“-sung, Jisung please answer me”

There are arms holding his, and when his vision slowly comes back, he can recognize Seungmin’s body in the dim light. “M-Min” he cracks like a raven. “Seungmin”

“Yes, yeah it’s me, I’m here” He wraps his arms around his body, bringing him closer. Jisung melts in his embrace, head hidden in the younger’s shoulder. They both are sweating. “I’m here now. I’m here” he repeats.

“He said to come find him. He said that he can’t live anymore.” He murmurs in panic, as if afraid that someone might hear them. Nausea is taking control of his guts and he has a sudden urge to gag and throw up.

“I know Jisung, I know”

“No you don’t understand. He didn’t say that in real life. He said not to ever meet in this life. That we’re destroying each other. But in the dream Minnie, in the dream, he told me to come get him it doesn’t make sense why- why did he change his words- how- Just-_how _is that possible” He recoils back against the wall behind him. It’s suddenly suffocating. He pulls at his shirt, it’s so hot, he’s choking against an invisible hand. His skin is itching and he starts to scratches at it furiously.

“Jisung- Jisung breathe. Calm down, we’re going to sort it out together.” He can hear Seungmin’s voice, but he can’t focus on it. His eyes fly everywhere around the room. _He thinks I’m crazy. He doesn’t understand. He doesn’t get it. I need to go; I need to go find Felix I-_

Two hands slams against his cheek and forces him to turn his head. They keep their hold even when Jisung stares at Seungmin, unmoving with wide eyes. “I don’t think you’re crazy Jisung. I really understand you. You’re the one who doesn’t get it.” He lets his eyes fall down. “I think- I think we had the same dream” he lets go of the older’s cheeks and runs his hand in his hair, now being the one to look away. “I don’t know how that happened like I don’t know how I can hear your thoughts right now, but I was in your dream. I was _there_”

Silence settles between them.

Jisung’s wide eyes can’t tear themselves from Seungmin who apparently can’t look at him. Seungmin feels like he introduced on something personal that he absolutely shouldn’t have known; the Soul Link lets Jisung know.

All tension suddenly leaves his body and he let his back relax against the fresh wall. 

The buzzing in his ears have finally disappeared, and his mind has started working again properly. Right, they are in this damned new institution, prison, whatever they call it.

He closes his eyes and sigh.

It’s still awfully hot in the room.

“Let go take some air”

Seungmin meets his eyes. “We are not allowed to leave the room past 10pm.” He points to the door behind him. “It’s currently 3am and the door is locked from outside”

Jisung huffs in frustration. “The balcony will do then” he doesn’t wait for his answer before going outside. He slides down against the wall until he’s sitting on the ground. The night breeze sends goosebumps on his skin but it’s refreshing on the sweat pearling his body.

“It’s Changbin” Seungmin says, appearing beside him with his phone in hand. Jisung doesn’t look at him. He shakes his head. “Answer him, but I don’t want to talk to them.”

He knows he’s being selfish. He _knows_. Guilt scratches his organs until it pulls out blood and drown him from the inside. Changbin and Chan, contrary to his pathetic ass, are on a fucking mission. One who can take their life. The last thing they need is Jisung’s added problems. He bits his lips and shut down his mind, pulling up barriers all around him. He usually doesn’t close the SoulLink, but his condition has gotten worse lately with the reoccurring nightmares. He and Felix had made a promise not to close themselves to each other, so Jisung never really got used to hide himself to his linkers.

He lifts his eyes from the ground when Seungmin sits beside him. “They did their part of the job perfectly, as expected.” His hands are folded on his pulled-up knees. “They left the rest to Day6 Sunbae-nim and the agents of Divison J. They said that they’ll come home as soon as they can”

Jisung absently nods.

There’s a silence only filled with the howling of an owl.

“Aren’t you gonna ask your questions?”

Seungmin shakes his head. “No”

“Why?” Jisung glances at him. “There’s a reason behind it. I can feel it.”

“Chan hyung said not too.” He turns his head to answer the fae’s questioning eyes. “That Felix is a very sensitive subject to you”

Jisung scoffs a laugh. Then, a cold giggle shakes his chest. He had unconsciously turned his twin unto a taboo subject. Made his new friends, no _family_, scared to even pronounce his name around him. What an asshole.

He runs his fingers in his hair.

What type of a fucking weak bastard did he become?

“Ask me Seungmin.” He smiles, and this time, it’s genuine. “Ask”

“Who’s Felix?”

There is it. The infamous question everyone seems to be scared to ask. Who’s Felix? The answer is at the same time so easy and so complicated.

It was like that question asked in elementary schools: Who are you?

There was a simple response to Seungmin's question: Felix is Felix. Yet, he knows no one would understand.

"Felix is my Fae twin" He glances at the wizard. "Do you know what that is?"

Seungmin shakes his head.

"Long ago, when the Faeries and Elves were still in war, the Fae Queen developed a new method to battle. She used forbidden magic to unite two adult Fae who have similar magic. They are not related, but their magic is. It’s like- they magically link you with a wizard or witch that also use fire as its essence.” Seungmin nods so he continues. “It worked. For a while at least. But the twins became too powerful. They fed each other's powers and duplicated them. It wasn't forbidden magic for nothing. They lost control and started attacking their own. It was too much of a magic to suddenly possess. The Queen ended up doing the reverse spell and the twins successfully broke apart. But the damage was already done."

“You and Felix?”

Jisung nods but he doesn’t look at Seungmin.

“Yeah, exactly. Magic twins started to be born, very rare through the passing years, but the magic still remind. Me and Felix were one of them.” There’s a ball of tears forming in his throat and he has to stop for a moment before continuing. “We were born a day apart; me on the 14thand him the 15th. We are not related in any way. Our mothers were good friends, so we became inseparable. We did everything together. Yeah, we were better in magic class than the other kids and our wings grew faster, but we never really cared of those things. We weren’t powerful like the legendary fae twins; we were just kids who liked to drag our feet on the cement just to be together a little bit more.”

He takes a deep breath and lay his legs in front of him. “I don’t know how words got out, but a research laboratory ruled under the government called us to come pass a test.” A tear rolls down his right cheek and he has the strange impression that it’s washing off blood, just like in the dream. “They said that it’s our duty as Faeries to participate and help the growth of science. They convinced Felix’s parents and my mother, and we were both forced to go. Once a week turned unto three. Then, we started going after class almost every day besides the weekend until we were asked to spend the night there. We saw the staff of the laboratory more than our own parents.”

Seungmin reaches to hold his hand, and Jisung gratefully accept it in his own. It’s warm and his palm is literally glowing, just like Felix’s eyes had. Jisung can feel the calmness slip through his veins. “For how long?”

The fae looks away. “Five years. From ten years old to fifteen” Wasted years. Years of pain and sorrow. A ripped childhood he would never be able to retrieve. “It was- it was horrible.”

Seungmin squeezes his hand, and more warmth spread unto him. He doesn’t know how, but Jisung surprisingly isn’t having any trouble getting air to his lungs. “I know.” They meet eyes. The fae has no idea how that’s possible, he is sure he closed his emotions to all of his linkers, or maybe it has to do with whatever Seungmin is doing with his glowing hand, or maybe it’s just that the younger is a good friend, but when Jisung looks at his eyes, it feels like he truly understands. Not fully, but as much as one could without knowing the details.

He looks back at the stars. They are shining beautifully tonight, just like Felix’s freckles on that last day. “They always wanted to know our limit; how far we could go. One day, they went too far and- and they couldn’t stop us anymore.” Jisung has to close his mouth because he can’t continue. “What you saw in my dream, was the aftermath.”

“It wasn’t a dream. It was a memory.” Seungmin realizes, saying it out loud to himself.

Jisung nods. “Yeah and no” His head is splitting apart. He needs an aspirin. “On that day, what Felix really told me, was to not ever see each other again.”

_“Song, let’s not meet each other again in this life.” _

“They made of us two timing bombs, ready to explode when we were together. On that night, right before the sun rose, we tasted the true power that was sleeping inside us. The fae twin magic. We were scared of what it would make of us, that’s what Felix really said on that day.” His forehead wrinkle in concentration. “But in the dream- Felix asked me to find him. He said that he can’t continue on living anymore” He grips and slightly pulls at his hair. “I don’t know how that happened. I don’t know if it’s just a dream or if he tried to send me a message in some kind of way. We both had agreed to accept our fate. We-”

“You accepted the sentence that was put above your heads; being separated and the black wing. They were the ones who tainted your wing, it didn’t become like that on its own” Seungmin chokes out. It must be hard for him, taking in that much heavy information all at one, but Jisung is grateful for his smart brain and the fact that he is putting two and two together so easily.

Jisung sighs. “I remember the reason I was put here Min. I know we call it the orphanage, but both of us know that it’s not really one”

“Institution for orphan minors who have shown a severe incapacity to control their powers” Seungmin mechanically states. “That’s what that old women in Adaptation class said; that we should be grateful for not being put behind bars and for having the chance to be given an education.” He looks at Jisung. “Is Felix somewhere in a place like this too?”

Jisung shakes his head. “He chose option 2.”

Seungmin doesn’t ask what option 2 is, because Jisung doesn’t look like he wants to talk about it so instead, he says; “You should go to sleep.” But the older, just as expected, shakes his head. “It’s a night that is asking to remember.”

A huge black bird suddenly comes to perch on the metal barrier right in front of Jisung. His body is sparkling, like filled with thousands of little stars. Seungmin jumps back in fear, but a smile spread on Jisung’s face. He reaches his hand and the bird flaps his wings to wrap his claws on his palm.

“Wh-Who-?”

“illūnis” Jisung says while patting the animal’s head with his right hand. “It means Moonless. It’s my and Changbin’s SoulSpirit.” The bird purrs, agreeing. He closes his eyes and leans unto the human’s fingers. “He only appears at night. Changbin must have sent him to look out after me.”

Seungmin nods lost in his thoughts but Jisung isn’t really paying attention anymore.

\---

Jisung and Seungmin are allowed to leave the institution three days later. It all suddenly happened in a boring Magic Control class when they both got called to the main hall. There, Changbin was waiting for them with a wide grin as he said; “Go get your stuff kids, you’re getting out of this hell hole for _good_.”

Neither of them had anything to pack beside their bag; most of their stuff had been burned down in the last building.

Jisung had screamed his joy in the air for anyone to hear, and even if the director had furiously glared at him, he had no power over them anymore.

“Chan was _raging_” Changbin explained on their way to the 4419 bus that would take them directly to their dorm. “His face was red, and I swear there was smoke coming out of his ears.” He puffs his cheeks and opens his eyes wide.

Jisung and Seungmin laugh whole heartedly as the older continue to do weird faces. “So he went to JYP office as soon as we arrived in Seoul. He didn’t scream, but you know that calm disappointed face he pulls at us when we do something really bad?” he points his finger at Jisung who simply nods, too breathless from the laughing to speak. “He said to pd-nim how mistreated his members are being. How manager hyung didn’t pay our rent and we were forced to go to my pack. How embarrassing and shameful that such a big company like JYP can’t even do the simplest thing as provide a dorm to their trainees. How that would make us look in front of the Seo pack where we had to ask to lodge.”

“No way.” Seungmin says while hitting Jisung’s back because he choked on his split.

“I’m not even done yet” Changbin stops besides the bus shelter and turns to properly face them. “He also complained that they sent us back in mission only a week after the last one, without TWO of our members because JYPE couldn’t do the basic thing that is prove your innocence” 

“MINE?” Seungmin’s eyes are wide in a shocked horror. The last thing he wanted was for Chan to be in trouble because of him. Changbin doesn’t look like he noticed because he continues under Jisung’s eagerly curious eyes. “Yeah obviously. That now, he has to look after two new trainees at once; a siren and a banshee at that.”

“Wait repeat the last part?”

Changbin completely ignores the fae. _“The LEAST you could do pd-nim, is send an official mail to Jisung’s and Seungmin’s institution to state that they are under the company’s name now and therefore, have absolutely no reason to be locked there.”_He says in a horrible imitation of Chan’s voice. “We still have that shitty apartment and we have two more roommates, but hey, the two of you are free birds now.”

By the time they open their dorm’s door, Jisung and Seungmin have completely forgotten about the whole ‘Two new trainees under Chan’s responsibility’.

“We’re ho-”

“Are you really okey living in here?”

At least, until they come face to face with a too familiar boy. It’s weird seeing his body in flesh and bood and not transparent like back in the forest. Yang Jeongin. He is standing in the hall, glancing around him. “There’s something not right with this place.”

Hyunjin, who was sprawled on the couch, stands up abruptly. “Not right as in 'this apartment look like a rat hole' or as in 'my banshee nerves are sensing paranormal activities in here?' ”

Changbin walks past Jisung and Seungmin who are frozen in the doorway. “He’s been like that ever since he followed us back to Seoul and entered the dorm; saying that there’s some kind of ghost in here or something.” He walks to the kitchen to grab a cup of water. “Told him the only ghost here is Chan hyung at 3am when insomnia hits him in the face like Nayeon noona's punch 

“HEY” the leader screams, walking out of his room. “Oh hey you two, welcome home.”

Before either can say anything, a new face walks out of the bathroom. His eyebrows are frowned, and he is holding a hairdryer upside down by its plug, the one Jisung spent all his last paycheck on. “Can someone explain what the fuck this is?”

Here Jisung thought 3racha were a mess on their own. This promises to be just _great_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SURPRISE! A new chapter yay!!! I know the last one was published like two days ago but hey your heartwarming comments on the last chapter inspired me to write 
> 
> So yeah, I feel bad for making you wait for Felix for so long, so I tried hard to think of a way to showcase him in this chapter and I came up with this on the spot lmao cuz yeah I don't have all the story planed out yet, just bits here and there, and I think more as I write. 
> 
> Anyway, I speak too much, so we saw Felix in this chapter *clap clap clap* and we finally FINALLY know what happened to Jisung and his link to Felix. I hope it wasn't too much informations at once but I've been hinting at it for a long time and it's already chapter 17 so yup. There's still details left to explain but that'll come with our faery Lix. 
> 
> Don't expect too much, but I can't wait for next chapter. It's gonna be... special, unusual, a change of scenery. But I think you guys are gonna like it. 
> 
> As always, thank you for reading, and this story is literally going thanks to your comments. See yall~~~
> 
> PS; no its not a typo Felix really calls Jisung "Song"  
PSS: GROW UP MADE A CAMEO


	18. A Horde of Zombie Holding My Hand

He startles awake before his alarm rang. Hours before. It is around 4am.

Sweat drowns his body like if he just jumped unto a pool in his pajamas.

His heart is frantically beating in his ears, blood rushing in his reddened face.

When he realizes that he is just in his room, he heavily sighs. A sigh that holds the weight of an oppressive anxiety, exhaled in the dark.

He runs his fingers in his wet hair, head falling on his hands.

_It had only been a nightmare_; he repeats to himself like a mantra. Just a nightmare. It wasn’t real. He would never be able to kill anyone. He wasn’t a monster. It was just a nightmare. Again. Just a blood hell damn nightmare.

Frustration suddenly fills his lungs like poison, and he throws his pillow across the room. He wants to scream and break everything around him, but all he can do is sit there in his damped sheets and exhale shaken and broken breathes.

The moon is absent tonight, but the stars happily greet him when he turns his attention to them. On trembling legs, he carefully stands up and walks to his window on the right side of his bed. He opens it wide, allowing the fresh night breeze to snick in and caress his sweat pearled arms and forehead. He sits on the edge and swing his legs outside in the air. The thrill that runs through his bones is almost the same as the one he felt back in his dream, when he sat on the edge of the cliff. He never remembered the details of his nightmares, but somethings always linger on his mind; the blood, the corpses, the sorrow eating his heart and brain like a zombie. The strange certitude that _he_caused all of that.

And above all, the warmth of someone standing by his side.

The loneliness that follows when he wakes up is always the worst to handle. How is it possible to miss someone that doesn’t exist? Yet, maybe it’s just the absence of solitude that takes shape of a human in his dreams, and that’s what he misses. A comfort in the middle of the slaughter that hunts his nights. He doesn’t really remember a time where he didn’t feel this empty inside, but surely that time had existed; a lack exists because something had previously existed. Something that had been taken away from him. Maybe even someone. He doesn’t really know.

After a while, when the sun finally picks it head in the horizon, he slides off the window and sits in the middle of his queen bed, his back against the bedhead. He brings his legs to his chest and wraps his arms around them. Then, he waits. He doesn’t really know what he’s waiting for. For the morning to raise? For his family to wake up? For the the phantom pain to fade away? It just always felt like he is waiting. But waiting for what?

A ray of sunlight temporary blind his right eye, and it’s all It takes to get him moving. He takes a cold shower; hot ones always made his skin itch. He then throws on some clothes; a plain jean and a black hoodie. He grabs his red school bag from where it was discarded besides his disk and stuffs in his Mac; he had tired, and failed, to read his last lesson from one of his classes. After making sure his wallet and phone are in his possession, he throws his bag on his back and walks down the hall to the kitchen.

He still has time in front of him, he concludes when he glances at the clock that reads _6am,_so he gathers ingredients to make some French toast. He can’t eat in the morning because of his uneasy stomach, but his two sisters, who wakes up far later than him, are a different story.

The scent of food ends up waking his family up, because he can hear sounds slowly rising around the apartment.

He leaves the plates on the kitchen’s table and walks toward the front door, grabbing his keys on his way.

“Felix!”

His hand stops short before it gets hold of the door’s handle, and he turns his head around. A woman with messy hair is walking toward him.  
  
“You’re not going to say goodbye before living?” she says with a pout on her lips.

A smile climbs up Felix’s lips, and he leaves a kiss on her cheek when she is close enough. “Bye mom”

He closes the door behind him and climb down the building’s flies of stairs. Outside, he takes a deep breath in. The freezing cold air is like a fresh gulp of water on a hot summer day and he doesn’t even take the initiative to close his thin coat.

His university is an hour long of public transport; the bus then the subway. He has to leave at least an hour and a half earlier to catch the bus on time, and he needs at least twenty minutes to get ready. He puts on his favorite podcast in his ears, _What Would Jamie Do_, and with that, the way to Uni is a little bit more bearable.

The bus is crowded as always and walking out the subway in the middle of hundreds of students, all with the same emotionless face and tired mechanical stain in their step, is a routine he had gotten used too. Felix, in that moment more than any other one, feels part of _something_. Part of a zombie pack more than anything else, but still _something_. All those people were just like him; exhausted students with worries like him and as much of a complex life path as himself. The exhaustion didn’t fade, but it didn’t feel like he was the only one going through a hard time anymore. That was, until the crowd dissipated, and he headed to the music department. He had three hours of producing from 8:30am to 11:30, a lunch break, then three other hours of History of Music till 4pm, and finally from 4 to 6pm vocal lesson.

The building isn’t the newest one around campus, and they probably have the smallest coffee shop, but it has a beautiful glass wall overshadowing the city bellow. And he is addicted to their vanilla hazelnut coffee.

“Already here?”

He tears his eyes from the window, fixing them instead on the dark green haired boy taking place in front of him. Choi Hyunsuk. One of the best producers in their cohort. A cheerful and full of energy type of guy. Sometimes, too much and too loud, but Felix cherishes his friendship.

“Why do you always come this early anyway? It’s such a hustle.” Breathless, he throws his coat and bag on the floor. Hyunsuk rests his elbows on the small round table and tries to arrange his messy hair with his fingers. 

“I like to have time to myself before class.” He gestures to Hyunsuk. “And not arrive like- this.”

The said boy scoffs a laugh, resting his back on the chair. “Well, I can have time to myself when I sleep more.”

Felix shrugs, taking a sip from his coffee. The warmth spreads in his stomach temporarily. He glances at his phone. “But you’re early today?” It is 7:56am. Class is still a good 30minutes away.

“I wouldn’t miss today for all the gold in the world” he straightens his back and bend toward Felix, as if ready to tell him a secret only he was allowed to hear. “We have new students arriving today.”

Felix arcs an eyebrow. “We’re in the middle of the semester, in our _second_year. What type of new students would we have? Are we still in high school and I was unaware?” He throws glances around him, as if to make sure that he indeed hadn’t entered the wrong educational building.

Hyunsuk’s eyes go wider as his tone picks up. “EXACTLY! What type of people transfer so suddenly? And to a music degree at that?” Seeing as he hasn’t caught his friend’s interest yet, he continues with a pressed tone. “You will never guess where they are flying from.” And without waiting for his answer, he yelps. “South Korea!”

_That, _got Felix’s attention. He frowns his eyebrows. “That’s why am here.” Hyunsuk crosses his arms against his chest. “If they have trouble speaking English, I’ll be there to translate and help them adapt to the merciless life in Australia.”

Felix ignores his last statement. “Why are you referring to them in plural? There’s more than one?”

“More than one? You’re kidding right?” Hyunsuk grins, pulling his usual cocky attitude out. “There are twelve of them mate.” He stands up, grabbing his stuff from beside his feet. “I don’t know about you, but I feel like something exciting is finally going to happen. Probably already is.”

He walks away and Felix simply stares at his retreating back.

The first foreign student of the bunch, if Hyunsuk was to be believed, is in his first class. As soon as Felix crosses the door, he spots him immediately. Besides the fact that there already is a small crowd of student encircling him despite the early hour of the day, the boy stands out. He has blonde bleached hair, almost translucent. It fits him perfectly on his pale skin and dimpled cheeks. His clothes are entirely black besides the small white suitcase at his feet. His voice naturally spreads around the room, and Felix notices that all eyes are on him and on what he has to say. He has a natural way to pull other’s attention. Sadly for Hyunsuk, the boy speaks English naturally, filled with the familiar Australian accent.

Felix snaps his head away when he realizes that he’s been staring. He takes his usual seat in the middle of the auditorium and pulls out his laptop.

The teacher arrives in class a short time later and the more students fill in, the more crowd gathers around the new kid who doesn’t look like he has any problem with all the attention he is getting. Felix throws him a glance above his shoulder; he is half sitting on his desk, his hand gesturing around him as he seems to be explaining something to the eager eyes standing around him.

The auditorium is oddly loud for 8:23 in the morning, but a sudden voice makes itself heard in the big room.

“Chris! We told you to wait for us!” a feminine voice shout.

Felix can’t help his head from turning, just like the hundred of other students in the room. 

If the new student, apparently named Chris, was handsome and eye catchy, the two new foreigners are on a whole different level.

It’s a boy and a girl, different but at the same similar, like a body and its shadow. Both of their hair are jet black. The girl has it pulled in a high ponytail almost reaching her waist. The guy’s hair is as long as his neck. His hands are in his pockets and he is yawning lazily. There’s class and cockiness in the way they walk and hold their body. Felix feels like a miserable servant in front of nobility. Their clothes aren’t necessarily all that colorful, but he can tell it’s high brand from his seat across the classroom.

Gosh, is this some kind of hidden camera? Is he stuck in a Netflix original?

_“We got lost at least four times.” _The boy says in a Korean Felix surprisingly understands.

“I tried waking you up, but you wouldn’t budge.” Chris responds with a laugh.

The teacher claps his hands before any of them can say anything else, gathering the attention back to the front of the class. “I can see that I’m the least interesting thing this morning, and I’m sorry about that, but we have a lecture to go through”

The students scatter around the auditorium, each to gain back their seats. Felix turns his head to the front, determined to not let his attention sway again.

“But because the new students are already the center of attention, I’m sure they can present themselves, right?”

This teacher can be damned.

He turns his head back to Chris, who is sitting a on the right side of seats while himself is on the left. He stands up without hesitation or any trace of embarrassment, throwing a calculative glance around the room. His eyes linger on Felix for a second longer than the rest, and it makes the latter’s heart skip a beat at the sudden unexpected attention. “Name’s Chris. Or you can call me by my Korean name that is Chan. I’m born in 1997 and- yeah” he finishes his small speech with a laugh, immediately followed by the rest of the class. Felix can’t see what’s funny, but he surprises himself smiling along.

“My name is Yeji Hwang.” The girl says with a heavy glare. She has a small accent in her speech. The boy besides her doesn’t even bother standing up. “Hyunjin Hwang. And I’ll make it clear before everyone asks, no, we are _not_twins.” His tone is bored and annoyed, face closed up and unfriendly.

The three following hours go by slowly. During the two ten minutes breaks between each hour, the three new foreign students get encircled again, and by the time the lesson is over, Felix is convinced that Chris guy talked to more people in a single day than him in now almost two years studying with the same people.

He sneaks out the room, wondering why it feels like he’s running away. It’s not like anyone gives two craps about him anyway.

Bang Yedam meets him in the hallway, on his way to the tables outside, under the sun shining its light on the campus. “What’s up Lix?”

Felix grunts, staring straight ahead. “Told you not to call me that”

“You look grumpy today, but again, when aren’t you? You know, you should smile more, maybe people will be more your friends that way” the younger boy says, ignoring the scold.

“Maybe I don’t give a f-” he gets cut by Yedam raising his hands in surrender. “Don’t swear at me with that low voice of yours, you look even more scary”

Felix shrugs. He sits down on an available table, pulling out his lunch. He didn’t really feel like eating, but his father had worked hard to prepare it for him last night, so he opens the cap and stick his fork in the red lasagna.

“So? Do you have any of those new students in your class yet?” he aks, lifting his gaze to Yedam who had been texting. He lowers his phone and a smile stretches his lips. “Yup, in dance class. There was-” he counts on his fingers. “Five of them. Three girls and two boys; the sisters Shin Ryujin and Shin Yuna, Lee Chaeryeong, Lee Minho and Seo Changbin.”

Felix scoffs, impressed. “You really remembered their full name?”

“It’s a crime not too.” Yedam shakes his head, lips tight. “You didn’t see them dance. They were all breathtaking. Never did I see people as impressive as them in real life.”

“They were that good?” Yedam was a good dancer himself, his whole class was, for him to praise someone that much it quite impressive on its own. But the boy shakes his head again. “No I mean, not only their dancing. They just have-” he lifts his hands in the air, searching for the right word. “That aura around them that make them so imposing. It feels like world class idols just attended my class you know?”

Felix knows. He had seen three of them work their magic on his classmates. They were quite unique.

Yedam stands up, his eyes back to his phone. “I need to run, Mashiho and Junkyu wanted to go eat somewhere. See ya”

He disappears then, and Felix is alone again.

A group of people are loudly chatting and encircling a table somewhere to his right. He doesn’t spare a glance at it. The afternoon breeze is gentle on his skin, and the green grass is tickling his feet. It’s a beautiful day, even if he can feel the warmness of the sun dimming. Winter will be here soon.

He lifts the fork to his mouth, about to take a bite of his lunch when someone suddenly slams against his shoulder, sending his lunch box on the dirt.

“Oh, didn’t see you there”

Felix closes his eyes, lowering his hand. Red sauce stained his hoodie. Well, at least it’s black.

“It didn’t look like you were enjoying it anyway. You should thank me” Felix lifts his eyes to the all too familiar face. It’s Jacob the Jackass, or so he calls him in his head. Your typical annoying bully white dude with blonde hair and blue eyes. Felix hates cliché, and there was no one around campus more exhilaratingly cliché as Jacob the Jackass. Mind you, he even plays football.

“Not gonna say anything Yongbokie?”

“Don’t call me that” he grits between his teeth, his voice lowering down an octave.

“Ohhhh” Jacob says, lifting his hands in the air. “Don’t growl at me little Lixie the Pixie, I’m so scared” he mocks with an extended grin.

Felix doesn’t know what really made him boil in anger. It wasn’t the first time he got picked at or got his name punched right and left. Yet, there was something incredibly upsetting about _Lixie the Pixie _that made his skin itch and want to scratch until he drew out blood.

He abruptly stands up, grabs Jacob’s collar with his hand and pulls him closer. With the other, he presses the tip of his folk under the other’s neck. “Fuck Off” he growls.

There’s a spark of fear flashing in his classmate’s eyes, before a mischievous smile fills his face. “Go ahead Lixie the Pixie, stab me with that fork. _Do it_.” He murmurs. “I’d love to fill a report against you. Or even better, have a little chat with your father. We hadn’t talked in a while”

Felix stares at him for a second long.

He ends up letting go, slightly pushing the taller boy away.

“Look” the Jackass says. “If you’re that upset about your food, just get on your knees and eat it” He throws him a dirty look before walking away. “Maybe you’ll understand your place that way”

Felix starts packing his stuff as soon as Jacob’s back is facing him, throwing his bag above his shoulder. He’s about to run off when a scream reaches his ears. He snaps back.

Jacob’s shirt is stained with what looks like coffee. He’s jumping on his feet like an elephant in front of a mouse, the liquid burning his skin as he screams repeatedly. “IT’S HOT IT’S HOT”

“I’m so-so sorry” a girl holding an empty mug says with a heavy accent. From where she is standing in front of him, she looks absolutely distraught. The people who had crowded the table to Felix’s right are now scattered, looking at the scene with wide eyes. “I-mistake, mistake” she stutters_. “I really didn’t do it on purpose I’m so sorry”_

Jacob glares at her. He glance around him to all the attention he gathered, and almost runs off.

The girl starts walking again, all tension from her body leaving like it never was there. Her face is smug and there’s some kind of anger under her grin. “Fucking bitch” she whispers in a perfect English.

When her eyes meet Felix’s stunned ones, she winks at him before walking away.

Her name happens to be Lia, and she is in his History class, along with a couple of other new students.

Felix doesn’t really pay them attention. It’s only half of the day but he is already exhausted. He just wants this damn day to end.

In the second hour, he lets his head fall on his hands, elbows against his desk. He really can’t focus.

Swiftly, he slides off his chair and leaves the auditorium. Good thing about being in University, is that you are simply a dot in the middle of thousand others. No one, teachers included, gives a damn about you.

He doesn’t have enough money to buy a chocolate chip muffin, sadly for his hungry stomach, but thank god coffee aren’t that pricy.

He takes a big inhale of the scent, his senses immediately relaxing. It succeeds on keeping him awake the following hour and even vocal lesson doesn’t look that terrible.

“Hey Felix!”

Yedam greets him as soon as Felix enters class. He is sitting on the ground, in a huge circle, made by their classmates. Their teacher, Miss Solar, likes to do her lessons in a special way; which meant auditoriums and desks out the way. The room is large and almost deserted of any furniture, just like dance classes, expect of a white board in a corner and a door leading to a vocal booth.

Jihoon, Yedam’s friend is staring at the people crowding three students, apparently the new ones. “Yang Jeongin” he whispers when Felix is close enough. He is staring at the one with dimples, laughing at something someone said. “He is the son of the Yang family, one of the founders of Busan, a city in South Korea”

Felix turns his head toward the person Jihoon is staring at. He’s smiling brightly, his eyes making Felix think that sparkles are spilling from them. He has a very cute and baby like face, nothing threatening or imposing like the Hwangs or Lia, the girl he saw in campus that had purposefully, Felix is sure, spilled her coffee on Jake the Jackass.

“I wonder what he’s doing here?” Jihoon looks so troubled that Felix can’t help ask. “Why? What’s odd about that? You said his parents are rich?”

“Rich?” Jihoon smirks, gently shoving his elbow in the other’s side. “Mate they are _loaded_. It’s just- how do I say this?” He tilts his head. “He had an accident a year ago and he’s been in a coma for a year. I head he woke up barely a month ago.”

“No way.” Felix gasps, making Jihoon’s eyes turn to him. “There’s no way he recovered that quickly and had time to fly all the way to Australia.”

Jihoo shrugs. “I don’t know mate, that’s what I’ve been told. You know I’m also from Busan and although I’m not living there anymore, my family and friends are all still there. Information travels fast, especially if it’s about someone as important as a Yang.”

Felix is about to say something else when Miss Solar calls for their attention, asking everyone to sit down on the ground in their place on the circle.

“Do I have everyone’s attention?” she asks, standing in the middle of the circle. The class responds with an energetic ‘Yes’ that makes the teacher’s smile widen. “Alright 1-2-3…”

“So- Lar- Si- Do” Felix harmonize with everyone else. The slogan and signature of Miss Solar’s class. Every single one of her lessons start the same way. It gives a boost of energy both to their teacher and the students, and Felix honestly loves it.

“Today, we have three new students.” She claps her hands, a delighted smile on her lips. “I’m sure you guys are old enough to introduce yourselves to each other and don’t need an old woman like me to do the introductions.” A few giggles lift in the air. Felix smile for the first time of the day. Indeed, Miss Solar isn’t his favorite teacher for nothing. Even if she calls herself old at 29 years old and her jokes aren’t that funny, she has a talent and knowledge that seem infinite.

They start with warming up their voices, then they get paired up by group of three. Thankfully, Felix doesn’t have to stress about who wouldn’t be too bothered working with him because Yedam and Jihoon offers him to work together. They usually go with one of their many friends, but they seem to be absent. Follows an hour of theory about voice ranges and tones, before Miss Solar calls for the class to sit back down on the circle.

“Because we have new students today, I’ll be giving everyone a little challenge” Everyone simultaneously grunts, making the instructor laugh. “Okey, okey, let’s call it a game then better?” 

Felix nods with the rest of the class.

“I will let you listen to a song I picked two times” she lifts two fingers. “Then, I will play the instrumental version and if I point at you, you will have to sing until my finger goes to someone else. Easy?”

She doesn’t wait for an answer before she turns around and play the song.

_Someone You Loved _by Lewis Capaldi fills all the other noises.

Felix closes his eyes, carefully listening to the lyrics. He knows the song but can’t remember every lyric of it.

When the last note dies down, Miss Solar whispers in the tense concentrated silence. “Memory is as precious as your two eyes. If not more.” She plays the song again, but this time, she speaks over it, confusing the students on either listening to her or to the song. “Our memory hold within it so much more than you actually realize. It protects the love of your close ones. The face of your family; blood related for some or not for others. It remembers for you the first time you went to school, shivering in either excitement or fear. The time you got that really bad grade and felt like the stupidest student in the whole school. The time you cheated in class, heart pounding in adrenaline, and how proud you felt for not being caught, even if that ended up not being worth it.” Felix giggles with some other students, eyes still closed and almost completely forgetting the song playing in the background. “But memory, doesn’t only keep the good part of the past.” Her voice takes a deeper tone, serious and… _sad_. “It latches like a snake around the things we’d like to forget. That night you hide under your covers, pressing your lips tightly to hold back the sobs and hide the tears. Those words carelessly said by a ‘friend’ that made your heart ache and confidence drop. That bad grade you got after working _so _so damn hard. Hours and hours of hard work thrown out the window.”

Felix hears her sigh, her footsteps coming to a halt.

“It’s a complex thing. Memory. There are memories that make us sad, but we’d never want to forget. There are others, that are happier, but can be so easily forgotten if we don’t protect them.”

The song suddenly stops in the middle of a note, Felix only now remembering that it had still been playing all along. He opens his eyes. Miss Solar is standing beside the music equipment, her hand on the volume control.

“But the mind is not the only one who has the ability to remember. The heart also is capable of it. And let me tell you, your heart, unlike your brain, never forgets, even if you don’t realize it. You forgot that the song was still playing on repeat, but I know, that when I will ask you to sing, you won’t have trouble with the lyrics. A great artist, whatever it’s a singer, rapper or dancer, has this capacity to unlock and use his heart memory, some calls it muscle memory or subconscious, whatever feels right in your ears.”

She claps her hands again, pulling everyone out of their daze.

“Now, let’s get started, shall we?”

The music start playing again, and this time, Felix keeps his attention on alert.

“Felix” she says, pointing her finger at him.

Now Felix had been prepared, but not to be the first one to start. Besides, vocal lessons are not his ace card. He’s actually more unto rapping. He took this class because he really wanted to learn to sing and although he’s not that bad, singing in front of others takes a bigger amount of courage and confidence he doesn’t always have.

He tries to control his breathing, to focus his emotions on the lyrics, and to carefully listen until it’s time to sing.

“_I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to save me  
This all or nothing really got a way of driving me crazy  
I need somebody to heal  
Somebody to know  
Somebody to have  
Somebody to hold  
It's easy to say  
But it's never the same  
I guess I kinda liked the way you numbed all the pain_”

Strangely enough, the lyrics are something he can strongly relate to, so slipping unto the proper emotions is easy enough. He lets the song and notes take him in, like a piece of wood left behind by a ship ripped by a storm, drifting away with the waves of the merciless sea.

He’s not Lee Felix who is in vocal lesson, in Australia, a zombie between thousands of others anymore. He is Lee Felix who is singing his pain out for the world to hear.

The teacher nods, satisfied, before she points her finger to a boy toward his left side. “Seungmin” the teacher calls.

It’s one of the new students.

His voice is stable, and he doesn’t sing any lyric wrong.

“_Now the day bleeds  
Into nightfall  
And you're not here  
To get me through it all  
I let my guard down  
And then you pulled the rug  
I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved_”

He stops when the teacher’s finger turns to point to someone else. “IN” she says and Yang Jeongin immediately follows.

“_I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to turn to  
This all or nothing way of loving got me sleeping without you  
Now, I need somebody to know  
Somebody to heal  
Somebody to have_”

Her hand suddenly switches back to Seungmin. 

“_Just to know how it feels  
It's easy to say but it's never the same  
I guess I kinda liked the way you helped me escape_.”

Their voices fit perfectly beside each other, although both very distinct. They sound absolutely amazing; like warm hot chocolate with whipped cream in a snowstorm waiting for the bus after a long tiring day, a Friday night.

The teacher picks someone else, and when Felix turns his eyes to him, he realizes that it’s yet another unfamiliar face. He’s probably staring, but the young Australian, just like the rest of the class, is curious of how he’ll do. The high note is closing up, and Felix is curious to know if Miss Solar will let the new kid do it or if she will pick another student who can pull it off for sure. Bang Yedam for exemple.

The boy, who happens to sit exactly opposite of Felix, hold his stare with his deep brown eyes. He doesn’t remove them when he starts singing, and Felix wonders if they’re having a staring contest or something.

He wants to look away, but he finds himself stuck inside his wild desperate eyes. Desperate for what? Passion? Proving himself? What are his orbs pleading for?

Felix wants to cower away. He feels like a rabbit in the middle of a dark road under a car’s headlights.

“_Now the day bleeds  
Into nightfall  
And you're not here  
To get me through it all  
I let my guard down  
And then you pulled the rug  
I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved_” The stranger’s eyes flutters to the ground, hand pressed on his chest like if he is trying hold his heart back from collapsing on his open palms.

“_And I tend to close my eyes when it hurts sometimes_  
_I fall into your arms_  
_I'll be safe in your sound 'til I come back around”_

The high note is perfectly executed, his voice dripping from heartfelt emotions. As if he wrote the lyrics himself. As if he lived through the emotions Lewis Capaldi sang about firsthand.

The song keeps going and other students finish it, but Felix isn’t listening anymore. His chest is aching and it’s hard to keep his eyes on focus. The song hits too close to his reality, and although he never lost anyone precious in life, he can’t help his heart from furiously beating in his chest.

He doesn’t ask himself what’s happening to him. He already knows that he doesn’t have a single idea.

Maybe it’s just his anxiety randomly picking up again like it so often does. Maybe it’s just the song being too sad. Maybe it’s this stranger’s breathtaking vocals. Maybe it’s the incident with Jacob the Jackass, the surge of anger that had pushed him to threaten the other with a fork under his throat hitting him back like a boomerang. Maybe it’s last night’s nightmare. Maybe it’s the fact that he hasn’t eaten anything since yesterday. Maybe it’s because he’s been awake since 4am and running on nothing else but two vanilla hazelnut coffees with 8hours of lecture.

There are so many things that are enough of a reason to send Felix on edge, a voice inside him urging him to scratch at his skin and scream.

Yet, he stays there unmoving, emotionless face fixed on Miss Solar talking like there’s nothing more interesting in the world. Like he isn’t crashing inside.

The students abruptly stand up and Felix does the same.

He picks his bag from where it was ditched against a wall and calmly walks out of class.

Felix is about to join the horde of zombies in the subway when someone hold his shoulder. He turns around, expecting to be told that his bag was forgotten open or that he dropped something.

Yet, it’s none of the above.

The new kid from his vocal class is standing in front of him, the one who nailed the high note so perfectly and had stared at him so intensely.

The stranger offers him a shaky smile. His eyes are not scary anymore, nor screaming in any kind of way. They are scared, uncertain and shy. Felix surprises himself easily smiling back. This new expression in the other’s face doesn’t make him want to cower away, and it’s somehow refreshing.

The nameless kid holds out his hand. “Hi, my name is Han Jisung.”

Felix’s smile widens. The situation is slightly awkward, but it eases the tension in his shoulders. He giggles,

“Hi Han-ah, I’m Felix”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 
> 
> WOW LEE FELIX IS HERE YALL ITS REAL *Scream*
> 
> A chapter entirely dedicated to a day in Lee Felix's life. Isn't that amazing? I hope I'm forgiven for taking SO long to bring my baby Lix
> 
> I'm really curious what was your reaction when you realized that this chapter is from Felix's pov? I did it on purpose so that you are slightly confused about what's happening hehe 
> 
> Anyway, yeah, I'm sure you have plenty of question and are still confused about what's going on but hey it's normal at this point, feel free to share them bellow
> 
> Also, I am totally not sure from who's pov the next chapter will be written. Either it's 1. Felix pov again, 2. Jisung's pov (or any of the other six). If it's number 2, then, would you guys like to have this day again from Jisung's pov or just continue on to the next day? 
> 
> I will leave the choice to you guys, I will write next chapter depending on what you want most, and well, if you ignore me, I will just try to come to a decision alone lmao 
> 
> Anyway, ugh I talk too much, As always, thank you for reading, than you for your AMAZING comments on the previous chapter, and see ya~~~
> 
> ps: a round of applause please for Itzy, Treasure and Mamamoo's Solar


	19. Whatever That Meant

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A chapter longer than usual. Enjoy!!

_One Day Before_

Chan had said something about it, Minho is pretty sure.

He had babbled about staying safe and being discrete and whatever, but Minho hadn’t really been listening.

The whole point of this mission is to get noticed, so he doesn’t really get _why _they need to watch what they say and whatever the vampire had implied with _‘discrete’_.

He probably said that specifically to him, because he had been stupid enough to get discovered and fucking kidnapped and then put in a human trafficking type of crap.

Or maybe he was talking to Hyunjin who from what Minho saw, had greet trouble controlling his whole vampire self. Apparently, that little fennec fox had explained that even if you are a pure blood, vampires don’t really become blood sucking creatures until majority. Which meant that Hyunjin was still considered as a baby vampire or whatever the real term is. Seungmin is a witch that can’t control its essence, like the wizard had himself said, Changbin is a freaking werewolf, Jeongin talks to ghosts and well, Jisung is Jisung. So technically speaking, Chan was probably not talking about him when he used the term “discretion”.

Minho kicks a box from his way and throws himself on the naked mattress. He doesn’t want to move, doesn’t want to sort out all these stupid useless human stuffs. That old grumpy man Changbin had called manager, whatever that meant, had insisted that they go shopping to buy normal “student supplies” to merge better in the decor. It didn’t require a genius to know that he was talking about Minho. 

The thing is, him being a siren, has almost not a single clue how Humans actually act. He lived all his life in the sea damnit, they didn’t exactly use cars or phones or even books. Not like that at least. More than half the humans he met were complete assholes, but surely not all of them were like that, right? How do you act when you have two legs and your head is not constantly under water? What was expected of him?

Minho honestly doesn’t know what he’s doing here, in Australia. Chan had talked about a mission, and he had followed. Anywhere else is better than between those damn castle walls.

Chan had explained the said mission, that also something Minho is sure of, but he had been too focused on that strange rectangular thing the older was tapping on to focus on anything else.

“Minho hyung, did you see my shake? I’m sure I put it somewhere…” Jisung’s voice resonates from the doorway but Minho doesn’t turn around. He leaves his face plastered on the bed.

“A shark?” he sighs. “I wish I had a shark right now. I could climb on his back to go swim for a bit and then eat him for dinner. Shark meat is good.” Another negative point; he isn’t used yet to food above ground and it always makes him want to throw up.

“I’ll take that as a no” the Fae says before walking down the hallway.

Minho sits up and looks one more time around the room. It’s rather small, big enough to fit two beds on either side of a window opposite of the door, a wardrobe and two desks beside each bed. He chose the bed on the left side, just because he felt like it. He doesn’t have a roommate yet, and honestly, he’s glad.

“Haven’t settled in?”

Minho glances at Chan, standing by his doorway, before his eyes travels back to the floor. His suitcase is discarded in a corner, and multiple boxes are spread around the room. He shakes his head. “No.”

Chan bends down in front of a box and tear the tape open. He pulls out a white sheet and stands up. “Let’s start with doing your bed alright?”

He walks toward Minho and pulls him up. “It’s really easy, look.” He gently lowers the sheet on the mattress. “You just have to put each corner together. Then, you fold the extra part under the bed. Like this.” He does it as he explains, and it looks so easy under his hands. “And then, the pillow goes right here.” He grabs one from the closet and toss it under the white cover.

“Do you have your blanket?” Chan looks around him as Minho blinks at him unmoving. The older opens yet another box and pulls out a soft thin blue blanket. “You just have to throw it on your bed, and you’re done” he adjusts it for him and when he steps back, Nemo is staring and smiling at him.

There’s a silence, both of them staring at the fish. “Why did you want this one in particular again?”

Minho stares at it, then, at Chan. They had bought the blanket when they went shopping to buy “human supplies”. He had latched on it the moment he saw it, even if Changbin had whined that it’s from the kids’ isle. Whatever that meant.

“It reminds you of home? Back in the ocean?”

Minho shakes his head. “No” he stares at the red fish creepily grinning at him. “It makes me hungry.” Chan’s eyes are slightly wide, so he explains further, unable to hold back a laugh. “Goldfish are like candies for us.”

“Ah” Chan simply says. “Well I suck human blood I can’t really judge, now can I?”

“CHAN HYUNG”

They whip their heads to the hallway. Jisung’s and Hyunjin’s room is across from Minho’s, further down on the left side. The dorm of Sydney University is an old looking building of about 15floors. The girls and boys aren’t separated and lodge all together. They have three common kitchens. One on the 1stfloor, another on the 5thand lastly on the 10th. There are bathrooms on every two floors and the laundry room is in the basement. The hallways are tight and long, so much that if you stand on the far end, it’s almost impossible to see the other end. Each door, on either side of the hall, has behind it a bedroom able to fit two students. The building in general is old and pretty creepy. It reminds Minho of the wrecked ships in the depth of the ocean.

IN had shivered when he put a foot in the main hall. He had stayed quiet when they talked with the old receptionist and when they took the dusty wreck of metals they call an elevator to the 15thfloor. When he stepped out, he had said with a hushed voice, that this edifice used to be a prison, then, had been turned into a military base during the second war before it became what it is today. When Jisung asked him with a terrified expression how he knew that, he had looked at nothing for a second too long, before he turned his head to the older boy. “They told me” he had said. No one had been brave enough to ask who the _they _were.

JYPE had made sure that they could room together, and not be too dispersed. The roommates ended up as follow; Hyunjin and Jisung, Chan and Jeongin, Changbin and Seungmin, and well, himself alone. He’s almost certain that those arrangements are strategic, and not just random, but Minho doesn’t know the others well enough to know why and how. It had only been two weeks since he met them.

Chan had proposed that if he isn’t comfortable being alone, he could switch with him, but the siren had declined his offer. If they, whoever had decided the roommates, thought that Minho should be the one rooming alone or with a stranger, then so be it. On another hand, it’s probably for the better. He doesn’t know these people, he had followed them on impulse, but there is still this part of him telling him not to trust them.

They could sell him again for all he knows. It was either going with them or stay within JYPE. He preferers far more traveling then stay locked up again until they find a way to send him back to his father, which is the last thing he wants.

“This is Lee Minho.” Chan had said as an introduction to his teammates. “He will be staying with us for-” he had glanced at him with an unsure look. “For a while.”

“Forever” Minho had corrected with a grin. He was determined to not go back to the bottom of the ocean. He probably won’t be staying with them for that long, but it was fun seeing their shocked and confused expressions.

The one Minho is the most distant with is Hwang Hyunjin. The one who ‘bought’ him. Chan had assured that all those bad guys were rotting in jail and will be for the rest of their miserable pathetic life, meaning none of them actually got payed. Still, he can’t help tense when he’s around the younger vampire. He once even flinched when Hyunjin had moved toward him too abruptly. What if he asks him to do something for him when Chan and the rest has their back turned? What if he decides to send him back to an auction? What if he starts ordering him around? Minho wasn’t able to fight back when he was kidnapped, will he be able to do so if it happens again? He decided to stick to Chan. His instinct told him that he was truth worthy, so he believes it. If any of them try anything with him, he’ll flee. Even if he’s in a foreigh country. Does it matter though? Everything is unfamiliar above the surface.

“My suitcase doesn’t want to open. I think it’s broken”

Jisung is sitting on the ground, lips pouting. Hyunjin is laying on his bed to the left, playing with his phone.

Chan sits beside the fae, and it takes him two seconds to get it open. Minho isn’t sure if he ripped it or just fixed it, but Jisung’s face lights up.

“Don’t stay up too late alright? We all had a long day and tomorrow won’t be any easier.”

Hyunjin lifts his eyes from his phone to look at his leader and brother who is now standing alongside Minho. “Hyunjin, I will come wake you up at 7am. Jisung, your class is in the afternoon, right?” When Jisung nods, Chan continues. “Great, will see you at lunch”

“I will be looking around campus before then” The fae’s face is serious and there’s a hint of worry he’s trying to hide. Or so Minho guesses from the destress and uncertainty glittering in his eyes.

“Alright. Leave all of this for later and go sleep” Chan says vaguely gesturing at the boxes and suitcases on the floor between the two beds.

“Night Hyung” Jisung and Hyunjin say at the same time.

Chan closes the door behind him and walks further down the hall. The room he enters is on Minho’s left, three doors away from his own. “Hi you two” he pocks his head inside, Changbin and Seungmin instantly lifting their heads. The werewolf is sitting up all these weirds black rectangular devices on his desk, something he had said were useful to him to do the thing he is most useful and talented in; hacking. Again, wherever _hacking _meant. Seungmin, on the other side, is scattering books on his bed.

“Ready for bed?”

Seungmin nods to answer the leader’s question. “Yup. Just gonna put these away and get my bag ready.”

“Tomorrow Changbin you have…”

“Dance class at 9am, with Minho hyung” he says without lifting his head. Chan nods and turns his head to the wizard. “Live Sounds at 8:30” Seungmin mumbles before the older have to ask, packing the books he needs in his bag.

“Sleep well then, we’ll meet in the morning”

“Good night Hyung-dul” Seungmin says with a smile, lifting his head. “Night” Changbin murmurs, brows frowning at his engines like if they did something that deserves them to be scolded.

Chan closes the door behind him and looks back to offer Minho a smile. “Let’s get you to bed as well.” He gently grabs his shoulders, but Minho shakes his head. “I want to check on the fox first.”

Chan breathes out a laugh before he lets his hands fall and he guides the both of them to the last room at the end of the lobby. It’s located neither on the right wall or the left, but instead, in the middle, facing the hall.

The door is closed, and when Chan opens it, Jeongin’s bed is the first thing they see. His eyes are already staring at them as he offers them a warm dimpled smile. “Hi Minho Hyung, thank you for visiting us.” His grin comically stretches.

Minho scoffs, a tension he wasn’t aware of leaves his shoulders. He doesn’t know what he wants to say to IN, but just seeing him is appeasing. Jeongin is the face he woke up too back in the hospital, and although Minho had been a rude ass to him due to his slight panicking, IN had never once left his side or stopped smiling to him, even when the glint didn’t reach his eyes. He had made sure every person who came to meet them, doctor and nurses, were a magical human and he had therefor protected him until they both were allowed to leave. Frankly, it was quiet impressing the way Jeongin ordered them around.

“Are you okey? You’ve been looking sick since you put a foot here.”

Jeongin’s eyes widens. He probably didn’t expect Minho to notice. “Y-Yeah I’m fine.” He smiles again, with that smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. He sighs. “This place is just- I don’t know I don’t have good vibes from it.” He lifts his eyes to Chan who is attentively listening, arms folded against his chest. “I hope that we’ll be done fast in here and will be back home quickly”

Minho nods, although he doesn’t really have anywhere to call _home_. As long as he can be somewhere safe, he’s fine with anywhere. Though he can understand that being somewhere foreign can be unsettling.

“I’m gonna accompany Minho back to his room” Chan says, nudging the siren in the hallway. The latter puffs out, want to say that he is old and capable enough to go there alone, but he doesn’t say anything. The light above their heads is yellow, and even if at least a hundred other students lodge on this floor, everything is dead silent.

He enters his room before he turns to face the vampire. “I’m fine now, go sleep”

Chan nods with a frown. “If you hear anything suspicious, just scream, alright? I’ll be able to hear you” Minho gives a sigh of approval before he shoves him away. “I’m sure it won’t be necessary. See you”

He closes the door shut and stay frozen in front of it.

He forces a breath out of his lungs and let his back fall on his bed. The silence is heavy, and it reminds him of his room back in the castle. The deafening muteness, the loneliness, the feeling of being nothing more than a ghost roaming inside the castle walls. And above all, the darkness.

Minho has a sudden urge to scream, just to fill the stillness of the place, just to see if Chan would really come running, if he would really be able to hear him, if Minho is really alive and existing and not a piece of dust in the wind. Instead, he forces his limbs to stand up, and opens the window. It unpleasantly whimpers when it’s forced open, as if no one had touched it in years. Or rather, fixed it in years.

The outside sounds immediately come rushing in, and the siren breathes out in relief. Above ground, Minho has come to learn that the silence is never completely _here_. Never absolute. He even came to hear different type of silence; the one in the beach at dawn, with the rushing waves and complaining seagulls. The one at 2pm, in the streets, when the world takes a breath, when the electricity shimpers and the birds sings. The one at night, with the cars working in the roads and the wind brushing the tree’s hair. But from where he is, the silence is loud in another kind of way. The pressure of the sea engulfs any other sound. It feels like being stuck in a black hole in the middle of space. The muteness makes his ears ring and heart cave in. It’s suffocating. Or so it was.

The same feeling is trying to drag him under and make him surrender in this weird building, yet, Minho feels way better now that the window is open, and the spell broken.

He returns to his bed, and he falls asleep almost immediately.

A couple of hours later, it’s the sunlight that wakes him up. He’s still so unused to the warm sun, that it never fails to startle him.

The clock shows 5am, and by the time he washes and dress up, it’s 6:56.

“Already awake?” he asks Jisung when he meets him in the hallway.

“Couldn’t sleep” the other responds, hands in his jeans and head staring at the old darkened carpet. Minho only nods, letting an appeasing silence sip between them. The elevator ride is scary and uncomfortable, as expected. It feels like forever before the morning breeze swipe at his hair and fills his lungs. It’s always a weird feeling to breath. He isn’t used to this much of air, a cough violently shakes his body. “Hyung? You’re alright?” He is about to reassure the younger when a loud sound makes his whole body flinch. His shoulders tense and he stops breathing, his eyes scanning their surroundings for any kind of danger.

“H-hyung, Minho Hyung it’s alright, you’re fine” He turns his head to Jisung whose hands are tightening and releasing their invisible grip on the air, unsure if he can touch the siren or not. “It was just a passing car. You’re safe here”

Minho’s body relaxes slowly. He looks around him one more time, just to make sure. They are still standing in front of the dorm building, blocking the entrance. There’s grass on either side of the pavement leading to the road, where speeding rectangular objects are running by; cars. He forces a sigh out. “I’m sorry. Still not used to them” He says, walking past the Fae who catches up on him rapidly. 

“Hyung, how long has it been since you’re- here. I mean-” he gestures around him, not looking where he’s going, simply following after Minho. “here above ground.”

The mermaid bits his lip, his hands ruffling his hair. “I’m not sure.” He frowns his eyebrows in concentration. “I spent about a month roaming around the city.”

“Where did you sleep? In the beach? Or did you have an apartment?”

Minho stares at him and responds with a raised eyebrow, like if it was a stupid question. “How would I have been able to find a place to sleep in? We don’t exactly use money where I am from” he scoffs at the fae’s wide eyes, unspoken questions hanging on his lips. Minho turns his attention back to the way he’s heading, even if he has no idea where he’s going; simply walking where this path is leading him too, as far away as possible from the road and cars. “The beach was too risky; I couldn’t risk my father’s guards to find me. So I slept anywhere kind enough to welcome me. The streets. The park. Under a bridge.”

Jisung removes his piercing eyes from him and goes back to stare at the ground. Minho wonders why he suddenly looks so sad. “I’m sorry.”

“Why are you?” The side of his lip tugs upward. “Leaving was my decision. I met amazing people on the street. I actually miss it”

“Really?” Jisung’s eyes are back to gawk at him like if he holds the secrets of the world in his fluid calm speech. The younger takes a few long strides and turns toward him as he walks backward.

Minho nods lost in his thoughts. “I felt free. Nothing was holding me down. Of course, it wasn’t easy, and quiet scary honestly, but It was far better than what was waiting for me” Jisung doesn’t say anything so he continues. “The auctions I mean. I don’t know how they found out that I wasn’t- _normal. _Maybe they saw me swimming in the beach, but one day, when I woke up, I was in this- cage.” He presses his lips and forces his eyes to focus back on the boy in front of him. “Yeah whatever. Doesn’t matter now. Why were we talking about this again?”

Jisung shrugs, turning around and properly walking beside him. “I don’t remember”

He lifts his head again with those interested wide eyes. “Where exactly do sirens live?”

Minho isn’t sure if he should be exposing all this information about himself, but the slight panic and anxiety he is smelling from the younger urges him to keep talking, to keep distracting him. Besides, he is pretty sure JYP already knows every single detail about him. “It’s at the deepest of the ocean. Somewhere unreachable by any human, magical or not. Even if they were to reach it, which is impossible, it’s hidden by a veil only accessible to a siren.”

“Like the Fairy realm but instead, our island is hidden in the sky”

“Yeah pretty much. We have a whole village there; houses, schools, Poseidon’s castle… It’s hard to explain it if you haven’t been there” Jisung enters a coffee shop then and Minho follows him in as he keeps talking. “The fae realm is known as being extremely bright and lightened” he glances at Jisung who nods in confirmation. “But the depth of the ocean is dark, no whatsoever light reaches that deep down unto the mermaid kingdom. Our eyes are used to it, though it’s still not agreeable to constantly live in the darkness”

They don’t speak for a while, only exchanging a few words to order two Americanos. The music department is a bus stop away, and by the time they reach the building where Minho has his first class, it’s reaching 8am.

There’s a table outside, facing the big glass wall where a small coffee shop is situated behind. This one is far smaller than the one close to their dorm, but Minho forces his brain to remember its location anyway.

“C’mon, try it”

Minho returns his attention to Jisung who’s looking expectedly at him. He keeps eye contact as he slowly lifts his coffee to his lips. It’s bitter and it makes his throat complain at the unexpected surge of flavor. His face distorts unto a grimace as he lowers the cup down. Jisung laughs at him. “Bitter right? You’ll get used to the taste” Minho takes another gulp of the black liquid that warm his insides. As a siren, his skin is used to the cold freezing waters of the deepest part of the ocean. He never had any problem with the icy air of merciless nights in the street unlike follow homeless people did. Warmth is a concept foreign to him, but the one procured by the coffee makes his inside jump in a comforting kind of way.

“Aren’t you cold?”

Jisung shakes his head. “Nop. The temperature drops with the altitude. The Fae real is in the sky, so we are naturally adapted to cold weathers. Though I’ve lost a bit of my resistance after coming down here”

Another silence slip in. Minho finds himself enjoying the bitter taste of his americano, and he almost thinks about asking Jisung to go buy him another. The latter’s eyes are lost somewhere, seeming absent and unfocused. He isn’t really the morning type of guy, from what Minho saw in the last two weeks living together, but the siren prince isn’t stupid. He doesn’t know exactly what went down with him and this presumed Lee Felix, but it’s something sensitive and profound. Something that makes Jisung loose the glitter in his eyes, makes his skin look sickly pale and aura glitch in pained contained and buried memories and emotions.

Jisung isn’t seeing his surroundings anymore. His mind is tormented, just like it had been all night long. Frankly speaking, there’s a part of him screaming, asking him what the fuck he is doing here. He is the one who asked Changbin to find Felix. To hack unto thousands of IDs all around the world just to find him. And Changbin had complied. He had spent hours hunched on his laptop and engines until he found the right Lee Felix. Chan had pulled legs and arms to make JYP give them this mission just so he could see his twin. It is his fault, dragging everyone here with him, at the other side of the ocean. Minho who had asked nothing of all of this and should be focusing on going back home. Seungmin who should be training to control his essence. IN who should still be resting after his year long coma. Hyunjin who Jisung is sure has million other things he would like to be doing instead of being stuck here. Gosh why did he drag them unto all of this? Why did he risk facing Felix after so many years apart? Why only now? Why-

_‘Find me Hanni.’ _Felix voice had whispered, blood pouring out of his eyes. ‘_Please Song, I can’t continue living without you anymore’_

It could have been a simple dream. A simple nightmare. Yet, Jisung can’t wrap his mind around it. He feels like how he did on that night when his SoulLink with Seungmin had woken him up. How convinced he was that it wasn’t just a meaningless feeling or dream. How hard he had tried to convince Changbin and Chan. Although this time he didn’t have to convince anyone, he still feels the same way. Only this time, he is trying to convince himself.

Jisung forces his eyes to focus. He blinks them repeatedly, taking short breaths as he tears himself out of his thoughts. He is about to turn back his attention to Minho when something behind the glass catches his eyes. Someone.

His hair is red, far different from the pink and purple he used to bear. He is taller than the last time he saw him in that dark dirty cell. His eyes are blank and empty, a look Jisung already saw before on his face. He holds himself unusually, like if every single limb is too heavy to move. Yet, it’s unmistakably him.

Lee Felix.

_Lixie_.

Jisung’s eyes widen, his mouth open in a silent shocked gasp.

It hurts, in the way looking at his twin feels so foreign. In the way his heart and mind feel so empty, so lonely, like how he did when he first arrived on the ground, way before meeting Seungmin and Chan. He used to be able to tell everything Felix was feeling and thinking just by a stolen glance. Until suddenly, he was left alone with no one else but his mind.

Jisung is thrown back to the day the spell was casted. He still feels the heaviness of the air trying to suffocate him in that tribunal. He can see himself and Felix staring at each other with hungry eyes, trying to engrave in their hearts every single detail of the other’s face one last time as they stood a couple of feet away from each other, guards standing between them. He can remember vividly the large back of the Fae that had stood in front of his twin, his hands on either side of Felix’s head, ready to send to oblivious years of life spent beside each other. He remembers the moment Felix’s eyes, bleeding and desperate for a forgiveness that had no place to be, eager and desperate eyes trying to convey a last faraway, had died. The light shining in them one last time directed at his twin forever disappearing with his memories, like a stain easily erased with a dirty piece of tissue used to whip the dust away. A fire turned off. That’s what Jisung had become; a dust effortlessly removed from existence, burned woods of an once upon a time wild bright blaze, like if all the time spent with Felix Lee had never existed.

It hurt, it hurt far more than any torture or experiment he had to go through in the research laboratory. Today, just like that day, Jisung is hurting with a thousand fireworks stabbing his body. He feels empty. Felix’s eyes fly past him, unstopping and emotionless. For him, Jisung and Minho are no more than strangers. Students setting outside in this freezing morning. They are part of the scenery, like the tables and grass around them.

Jisung had prepared himself for this. He had forced himself to convince his heart not to freak out when Felix will look at him with those empty eyes. He had repeated to himself so many times. Though now, seeing his fae twin after 5 long years where he had convinced himself that he would never ever get to see his face again, hits harder than he had thought it would.

He crumbles up to his feet, as if trying to physically run from the pain. His ears are ringing and all he can hear is his beating heart and rushing blood. He doesn’t go far, barely managing to get around a wall before his legs makes him fall unto the wet grass from last night’s rain.

He barely registers Minho’s presence, kneeling on the ground in front of him.

Minho doesn’t know what to do. Besides himself, he never saw anyone go through so much emotional pain before. His hands are hovering above the younger’s shoulders, unsure of the right thing to do. Jisung’s breathing is almost inexistent as his glassy fogged eyes stare right past him. There’s water pouring out of them and Minho can feel the panic wrapping its clawed hand around his heart. He never ever saw anyone have water spill from their eyes. What did it mean? Sure, he saw humans throw up liters of sea water. Saw as their body spasmed, salty liquid engulfing their lungs until it replaced the air there and their body going limb. Is this what’s happening to Jisung? There’s no ocean around them but is he drowning? What can Minho do? He hates feeling this powerless, although it isn’t a feeling he is foreign too.

“Jisung? Jisung don’t- don’t breathe, try to keep calm” he tries to make his voice convincing but it’s shaking. Is this what he should be telling him? That’s at least what he told anyone who fell unto the sea during storms, fighting not to drown; not to breathe as it would only make more water pour in their lungs, to keep their breath as long as they could while keeping calm. Jisung isn’t encircled by water but surely, he must be drowning if there’s this much water spelling from his eyes unto his cheeks. “Jisung oh gosh what should I do?”

He looks around him, but there’s no one able to offer help and the younger is still disconnected from the present.

Suddenly, a loud sound resonates around them, making him flinch violently. It manages to get Jisung’s attention because his eyes are staring at him between whizzed breathes. Minho fumbles in his pocket, pulling out his phone with shaking hands.

“Hello? Chan Hyung?” he asks with a panicked voice.

_“Minho? Where’s Jisung? Is he with you? Why isn’t he answering his phone? Is he alright?” _

Minho lifts his trembling hand to Jisung’s face, whipping the water away as much as he can. It starts pouring down faster after he mentioned Chan’s name. “He’s with me. Hyung I- I don’t know what to do. There’s s-so much water” he sticks his phone in his shoulder blade and use both of his hands to whip the waterfall spilling out of the fae’s eyes. “You’re gonna be alright Jisung I promise. I got you”

_“-at water? Minho where are you, what happened?” _

“I don’t- we were just sitting, then he saw someone and just started crying and water began to spill from his eyes, and I don’t know what to do” he lets his hands fall on Jisung’s lap, resorting on holding his hands instead. “Hyung is he drowning? Why is there water pouring out of his eyes? Why-What should I do aren’t human able to breathe when there’s air? Why is he drowning?” his throat is raspy, and it feels like a golf ball is stuck in there.

_“Minho you need to keep calm for the both of you. He is not drowning, it’s just tears Min, tears. That’s what happens when someone is sad. I’m outside, just tell me where you are?”_

_Tears_, Minho repeats in his head. “We are in front of the music department building. Outside. In front of the coffee store” he mumbles between burning fear and incomprehension.

_“Ask him if he is okey with physical contact. If he is, hug him. If not, stay back” _Chan’s breath is hectic, probably from running and talking.

Minho doesn’t have to ask because Jisung is fervently nodding, his chest lifts in hiccups, muscles unmoving like if stuck in a frozen resting position. His eyes are red and _drowned_. No, _teary_, the older corrects himself. 

He carefully moves closer, wrapping one hand around Jisung’s waist and the other on his neck. “You’re okey. You’re doing great. I’m proud of you” he whispers, repeating the words his nanny used to say to him every time it was too much. It’s the only thing he ever learned about comforting someone in distress. In Poseidon’s castle, he learnt to inflict pain, not console it.

Jisung’s body shakes under another wave of cries, and this time, he doesn’t repress them. His breathe isn’t whizzing from being restrained anymore, now coming out in shaken broken puffs of air. His tears doubles, the older can feel it on his bare neck. He is whimpering and whining, as if to ask Minho to make the pain go away. As if Minho has the power to make it disappear.

“You’re okey. You’re doing great. I’m proud of you” he repeats, rubbing his back up and down in a soothing manner.

“I-” Jisung croaks. “I- I feel so empty. H-He’s not- not here anymore. N-not h-here” he pushes himself away from Minho’s arms to meet his eyes. “N-not here” he repeats, hitting his fist on his chest, right above his heart. “He’s g-gone.”

Minho tries to reach out again but Jisung shakes his head. “I can’t- I can’t feel him. I can’t- I can’t tell if he’s happy or s-sad, suffocating or even living.” He looks down at his laps, fingers crawling on his jean, back trembling. “I’m all alone now” a tear falls on Minho’s hand. “All alone” he says with so much sorrow and pain.

Jisung gets pulled back in the siren’s arms, and this time, he doesn’t fight it. He rests his head on the older’s shoulder, trying desperately to swallow down the vomit of tears and cries. He tries to focus on the contact of Minho’s hand on his back. On the presence of another being beside him.

There’s humming vibrating from the other’s chest, and the siren’s voice slowly lifts around him. Within him. He can hear Minho in his mind and not through his ears.

_But you'll never be alone  
I'll be with you from dusk till dawn  
I'll be with you from dusk till dawn  
Baby, I'm right here  
I'll hold you when things go wrong  
I'll be with you from dusk till dawn_

Jisung had heard of the magical proprieties of the mermaid’s singing voice. But each time, it had been about how their enchanted bewitching singing draw you to the bottom of the sea, to avenge everything that earth beings had done to their people and their oceans. He never heard it before, and now that Minho’s soft voice is imprinting itself in his mind, he doesn’t find himself scared or suspicious. Though he guesses that’s exactly what sirens are good at; making their victims vulnerable and free from any worry or thought of the living world. Jisung things they are pretty nice for giving their targets one last moment of euphoria, relaxation and comfort. He feels like he can let himself get driven to the bottom of the sea voluntarily if it’s what it takes to keep hearing their chanting and keep this feeling of floating. All worry and fear are vanished and it’s like Jisung had never suffered before. He even comes to wonder what had happened to make him freak out like that.

Suddenly, the voice is gone from his head and Jisung still feels lethargic even after opening his eyes and redressing himself.

“-sung? Jisung do you hear me?”

He turns his head to Chan who is sitting on the ground beside him, Minho’s hand on either side of his shoulders to keep him up. He feels high, like If he took some heavy drugs. Surprisingly, it’s not a feeling he hates. He just feels so exhausted. “Y-yeah. Yeah I’m okey now” he mumbles, blinking repeatedly to drag himself back to reality.

“Oh Jisung” Chan says, pulling the younger in his arms where the fae melt like ice cream under the sun.

Minho stands up, taking a few steps back. He stares at them, so comfortable in each other’s presence, and he feels like an outside observer. Technically, he is, an intruder that is. His chest squeeze in discomfort, wishing he had someone that cares for him in that way. Jisung is right. Being alone really hurts.

“Thank you for taking care of him Minho”

Minho smiles bitterly. Chan is making him feel like a part time worker who had to deal with an especially hard customer. Jisung is his friend too. Not for long, only about two weeks to be precise, but a precious one nevertheless. He was there for the young fae because he was worried and care about him. It’s not like he had been asked too.

“I’m gonna take him back to-”

“No” Minho and Jisung says with the same voice. Chan stare at them with wide eyes. “You have a class hyung. Don’t let me affect the mission on the first day. Please.” Jisung pleads with a stronger and steadier voice than before.

“I can accompany him back. My class starts later.”

Chan furrows his eyebrows uncertain. “Are you sure-”

“Hyung I’m sure. Look I can stand up alone perfectly fine.” Jisung forces himself back on his legs. He knows the hundreds of questions flying in his leader’s brain. _Are you sure you’re alright? Are you sure that you can do this? Are you sure that this is a good idea? Are you sure that seeing Felix every day until either them or itzy finish the mission, isn’t going to be too hard? _

“I was just taken by surprise. I’m fine” And it is the truth. He certainly will not let his emotions affect his actions. JYPE taught him better than that.

Chan nods, uncertainly, letting both of them walk away toward the bus who will take them back to the dorm.

Jisung barely has the strength to mumble a thanks toward Minho before he falls on his bed face first. He sleeps soundlessly, unknowing if it is because of the sleepless night he had yesterday or the effect of Minho’s singing voice easing the knots of stress both in his mind and muscles.

When he forces his eyes back open, it’s already 12pm. He jumps out of his bed, remembering his promise to have lunch with the others. If he skipped it, they will all be unnecessarily worried about him, and that’s the last kind of attention he wants.

“JISUNG!” Ryujin screams, waving her hand at him when he is back on the campus ground. He replies with a smile, hands tugged on the pocket of his jeans. Lia, Ryujin, Hyunjin and Yeji are sitting on a table similar to the one he had sat on with Minho a couple of hours ago.

“Any class this morning?” Yeji asks, throwing a green grape in her mouth.

“Nop” he says with a smirk, taking place in front of Lia “Slept in till now”

People start gathering around them and Jisung supress an exasperated growl. _“Guys, this is Han Jisung. He is one of our dear friends”_Ryujin exclaims, gesturing to him with a forced enthusiasm. The curious stranger’s eyes turn to him. _“Nice to meet you everyone.” _

Once the attention isn’t directed at him anymore, rather on Yeji and Hyunjin who are trying to subtly extract information on their classmates and Ryujin dragging them in with her ease of speech, Jisung comes face to face with Lia. The girl has been observing him quietly, and when his eyes finally focuses on her, she offers him a smirk. Her fierce eyes never failed to send a shiver down Jisung’s spine. There’s something terrifying about her, far more than Yeji abrupt and sharp threatening eyes.

Her head turns to the side, observing another table besides them. Standing on the edge of the bench, they have a direct view on it even if there’s people crowding their own table. Jisung follows her gaze, and his heart falls at his feet. He has to remind himself to keep calm.

Felix is sitting there, waving goodbye to someone who is already walking away. Jisung wishes he knew what he is thinking, how he’s feeling, but that’s something he can’t know by just a glance or their close proximity anymore.

“He smells like you, you know” he hears Lia says, with her low heavy voice. “His magic smells like you” she corrects. “It’s misleading. I almost thought you were the same person.”

Jisung doesn’t answer. He watches as someone bumps unto his twin on purpose, making him drop to the ground all of his food. He has the urge to stand up and punch the guy in the face, but he forces himself to stay put. They exchange a couple of words, ones he can’t hear from the distance and chatters around him.

Felix stands up in one sudden swift movement. So fast, that the other guy can only flinch in surprise. He has a fork under the other’s neck, rage fumbling in his eyes.

Jisung rarely every saw him this upset. The few times he had, it was because the situation had pushed him to it. He doesn’t know what that dude said to him, and even if it was enough to anger him, Felix usually never lost his temper this easily. To the point of threatening the other with a sharp object under his throat; even if it was only a fork.

The blonde man says something else, the devilish grin back on his face, and whatever it was, it’s enough to make Felix deflates. Jisung is about to stand up and punch some senses unto that asshole who dared to bother Felix when Lia stands up before him. She sends him a smirk with a wink, grabs her coffee, and walks toward the stranger.

Her acting skills really are one of the best in the company. As Jisung watches her pretend to stutter on her English when it is her mother tongue, pulling up that fake terrified guilty face, he thinks that he should pull himself together.

With that thought, he goes to his lecture of History of music. Felix is there, but Jisung keeps a straight emotionless face. Three hours goes by faster than he thought, and along with Seungmin and Jeongin, they head for vocal lesson.

Of course, he knew Felix is in his next class as well, Changbin had hacked unto his schedule after all, but he still can’t get used to see his face without having the urge to reach toward him and sob in his arms.

He tries not to meet his eyes or stare at him, only focusing on Seungmin and Jeongin babbling beside him, throwing smiles here and there. Obviously, JYP isn’t known as a special forces company, training supernatural beings to make them unto weapons they can control. To the humans who doesn’t know any better, JYP is nothing more than an entertainment company. Therefore, they are naturally trained to be good in anything that comes to music and entertaining others. They aren’t on mission 24H/7, so music is a great hobby and distraction for their mental health. A cover carefully built. Just like humans and spies. No one knows of the existence of a school or institute meant to train spies and secret agents, but surely there is something of that kind carefully hidden behind a beautiful painted painting. Jisung likes to think that they are also like that.

When Miss Solar’s finger land on Felix, he finally allows himself to stare.

_“I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to save me  
This all or nothing really got a way of driving me crazy  
I need somebody to heal  
Somebody to know  
Somebody to have  
Somebody to hold  
It's easy to say  
But it's never the same  
I guess I kinda liked the way you numbed all the pain”_

Felix has an amazing voice, just like Jisung remembers it to be. They used to sing to each other in the dead of the night, when they broke out of their rooms in the institute. He pushes under all the storm of emotions trashing his insides, keeping a careful blank face on his face. This song fits perfectly with Felix’s low voice, making the lyrics and melody even more sad and deep. It had to be a song that fits perfectly their situation. Damn it.

He focuses his attention on Seungmin and IN, expecting the teacher to point at him next. Indeed, she does.

Felix’s complete attention on him makes a spark of irrational fear spark inside his chest. _What if he remembers? He can’t remember. He can’t. _

But his twin’s eyes turn away when he is done singing and Jisung’s shoulders slump in defeat, half relieved half disappointed. He scolds himself; Fairy’s pure magic doesn’t fade away this easily.

“Jisung, are you alright?” Seungmin asks with frowned eyebrows when the class is done, a hand on his shoulder. He nods. He isn’t really lying. “You’re looking sick Hyung” Jeongin purses his lips.

The older forces a smile. “I’m fine.”

He looks around him, just catching on Felix’s exiting the classroom.

In the short lapse of that second, he catches on his expression falling. His face looking terribly exhausted and pained.

Without thinking, he follows after him, ignoring Seungmin and Jeongin call for his name.

There is a separate reason why Itzy and Stray Kids faked being students and flew all the way to Australia, but it has nothing with why Jisung is here. Jisung is here because he was scared. Scared to discard Felix’s call for help as nothing more than a dream. He wanted to see with his own eyes, that Felix’s life is as amazing as his will never be with his memories intact. He wanted to make sure that he is happy, doing what he wants to do and just having the normal boring life they both dreamed of for so long trapped in those laboratory and experiments rooms.

But Felix, even in the worst of their days, even on that day when they killed everyone in that damned research laboratory, had smiled at him and held his hand. Felix never ever spent a full day without smiling. Jisung didn’t spend every single second of the day observing him, but from what he saw, Felix hadn’t smiled once a single time. Even when he was with his friends, he didn’t smile or excitedly chatter like his usual old self. Maybe it’s just a bad day but… If he really wants to make sure that Felix’s new life is as boring, normal and human as it should be, he needs to reach closer.

Also, he will go crazy if he keeps being considered as nothing but a stranger to Felix.

He reaches out and gently grab his shoulder to make him stop.

When Felix turns to him with a confused expression, Jisung almost backs out and run away. But he stays put, smiling as confidently as he can. He shouts down the voices, the ones in his head screaming at him that he should stand as far away as possible from him. _“Song, let’s not meet each other again in this life.”_

He holds up his hand toward him. “Hi, my name is Han Jisung.”

Felix smiles. He _giggles_. For the first time of the day. He _smiles _to _Jisung _for the first time in five years.

“Hi Han-ah, I’m Felix.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooof- 
> 
> This chapter took 8201 words. The longest chapter I wrote in this au so far. I think i'm quiet proud of it and I hope you like it!!
> 
> I won't annoy you anymore with my babbling, so see ya next chapter!
> 
> ps: Lee Minho baby I love you
> 
> As always, Thank you for reading and comments are so much appreciated


	20. Screams of Fear and Empathy

Felix’s heartbeat is frantically beating inside his rib rage. His cheeks are red from the settling freezing cold and his shoulders are achingly begging him to drop his damned school bag unto the floor. He softly closes the door shut behind him, and as his bag lays at his feet, he presses his back against the wood and allow his head to roll back.

The hallway is dark, but the light emanating from the kitchen at the end of the hall is strong enough to lighten the entrance. Loud cheerful chatters are resonating from the felt like far away room, and Felix can easily recognize the voices; his father, seemingly telling with a strong and bass like tone a really funny and interesting story _‘So I told him: “NO MISTER, I want to go through THAT back door, and no one’s stopping me” AND Do you know what he said?’, _Rachel’s obnoxious flamboyant fists of giggles, Olivia’s more relied down excitement, ushering her sister to be quiet so she could hear the story even though their father is speaking loud enough for the whole building to hear, and finally, his mother’s soft voice, almost whispering to Olivia to not lean on the table and get food on her shirt, warning Rachel not to laugh with food in her mouth, to her husband to take a lower tone. It’s as if she’s scared of them, Felix can’t help but think. His mother, when it had been only him and her, had always been strict on sitting straight and polite while eating and not speak with food in one’s mouth. Living with Mr. Park and his two daughters seemed to have eased up all her previous rules and way of living.

Felix might not remember everything about how it had been when it was only the two of them even if he was technically old enough too, but he can’t help feeling iffy about the way his mom acts now. It’s like a flower, once resplendent with its vibrant colors calling for attention and respect, but as soon as the hot summer breeze starts turning colder, its colors fade and the petals flatter. He knows he shouldn’t compare his own mother, his only blood related family, to a dying flower but he can’t help it.

It feels like he is in a tunnel, meters away from the exit, his eyes casted toward the blinding globe of light. He desperately wants to reach out and let himself be engulfed by the warmness it will procure but his feet are stuck on the ground. He is unable to move as slightly as bat an eyelash and somehow, being so close to the exist, witnessing the freedom with his own eyes and enable to grasp it just makes his reality even harder to swallow and accept. The darkness around him feels gloomier than the one he had been in when he was still surrounded by a darkness so profound that it was impossible for him to see his own hands placed in front of his eyes.

Felix blinks his eyes repeatedly, shoving the metaphor in the back of his head. He removes his shoes, pulls his school bag back unto his right shoulder, and slides his feet on the wooden floor toward the kitchen. There are pictures hanging on the left side of the wall. Frozen smiles on faded memories. Nagging at him from a time that is no more. 

Most of the pictures are of Olive, Rachel and their father from before they came to live with Felix and his mom. There’s even a couple of Olive’s and Rachel’s biological mother. The girls meet with her every weekend and sometimes even on Friday. Felix is in half of the pictures, but all of them are from a couple of years ago, when his smile was still genuine and wide. He wonders when he started feeling so out of place in his own home. Well, home is a big world for a place like this. He sighs and his eyes immediately travels to a specific picture in the bottom corner. His mom and him are grinning, eyes sparkly and crescent like. The Felix in this picture is young, from a faraway time that his brain decided to erase for him. His mother has a smile that his new refreshed memory had never seen. Never been directed toward him. She still smiled at him, but her orbs always have a lingering worry and pity in them. Almost sad. Almost fearful. Felix doesn’t know why, but for some reason, he doesn’t want to know. Just like he doesn’t want to know about the Lee Felix from five years ago. From before he suddenly and abruptly lost his memories. He keeps telling himself this, yet, he can’t help being curious. Who was this boy who seemed to smile so easily? Who was this Lee Felix with those star-like eyes? What did he love to do? What was his favorite cartoon? What kind of food was he picky about? How did his mom scold him when he did something bad? Did he have friends? Whose hand is he holding in this old picture? It had been torn, only leaving Felix’s mom on his right side, and a child’s hand that he was holding on his left side; the only proof of someone else that once stood beside him and held his hand.

Felix turns his head away from the frame of pictures and only realising that he had stopped walking, start his way back to his original destination.

When he reaches the kitchen, he rests his shoulder on the door frame, silently observing his family laugh and chatter. They look good without him; he can’t help but think.

“Oh Lix you’re home!” his mom says, finally noticing his presence.

Mr. Park, his father, or so he had been forced to call him, abruptly stops talking. His smile melts as rapidly as cotton candy on one’s tongue. Felix tries his best not to look at him.

“Lixie come sit come! Dad was telling us a really funny story that happened to him at work today!” Rachel grins at him and it tears an honest smile from Felix’s lips. “Dad, you can start again from the start for Felix, right? Right?” Olivia chimers in, her feet dangling above the ground. Felix doubts the man would even be comfortable sitting in the same room as him tonight if the glare he’s casting him is any proof. “It’s alright, maybe another time. I’m not really hungry”

His mother sends him a displeased frown of eyebrow. “But you-”

“Sit.”

The tone is freezing and sober. The man is not staring at Felix when the boy turns wide surprised eyes toward him, the adult seemingly putting his whole attention in cutting his piece of steak.

Felix doesn’t try to argue. He nods stiffly and with heavy tense weighted feet, dart to the table. He feels bad for corrupting the joyful atmosphere and he suppress himself from pulling his hair out of irritation and guilt.

The silence is nerve wrecking and guilt tripping, and when his mom speaks again, it sounds too loud and out of place. He almost jumps back in startle. “Your dish is in the microwave sweetheart. Heat it before eating.”

He nods but all he does is pull the plate out and takes the only available seat; beside his mom and in front of his father. The food is indeed cold, but he doesn’t really care. There’s ash in his mouth.

After a moment of silence, his father speaks. “How was school today?” he says, still not sparing him a glance.

“F-fine” Felix stutters, his hand clenching around his fork. Damned fucking fork.

“Which part? The part you bullied the neighbor’s son in front of all his classmates or the one when you threatened him with a fork under his _fucking _**_throat_**_?_”

There’re gasps around the room, and it’s Felix turn to glare at his plate. He can hear his heart frantically beating in his ears and can see the way his hands start shaking.

“ANSWER ME”

Felix doesn’t even startle. He bits the inside of his lower lip and concentrates on keeping his breathing even.  
  
“Felix…” his mother whispers with a shaky voice. “Is that true?”

He can’t help lifting his eyes toward her, and although he knows that he will regret it, it still hurts and stings so far more than the threat of Mr. Park hovering above him. There’s fear in his mother’s eyes. Oh that familiar and disgusting fear swimming in her beautiful brown orbs.

“OF COURSE IT’S TRUE” his father screams, gesturing toward him. “OUR NEIGHBOOR CAME TO ME HIMSELF AND TOLD ME EVERYTHING! DO YOU REALISE HOW EMBARRASED I WAS?”

His chair has fallen on the ground, and the table itself is millimetres away from being swayed by the storm of his stepfather’s rage.

Fear and anxiety stink the air around them, and Felix has to flip his eyelashes multiple times to prevent them from glancing at his stepsisters.

“LOOK AT ME WHEN I TALK TO YOU!” The man is now standing right in front of him, his shadow casted on the small boy’s frame.

Felix lifts his eyes. Rage burn in his inside and everything in his body is aching and agonic. He wants to ripe his skin apart and scream. He wants to inflict pain and although the thought terrifies him, he can’t help himself from feeling this way. He _can’t_.

_Pixie_, that son of a bitch had called him. _Pixie_.

“He deserved it” He grits between his teeth. He stands up and looks up at the man. “And if I could do it again, I _would_.”

Long tongues of flames suddenly escalade the air from the stove, casting their menacing heat on the kitchen.

Rachel’s scream is the loudest. She jumps back, arms folded against her chest and eyes tightly closed. Olivia’s palms are in her ears, fearful eyes glaring at the flames. His mother’s arms are enveloping both of them, and Felix’s heart tears apart in pain and jealousy. He is the closest one to the unexpected fire, standing on the edge of two cliffs: his father and the blaze. Yet, he is not the one his mother’s first instinct was to protect. It hurt. It _hurts_.

A sharp erupting pain sends him flying backwards, and before Felix has the time to realise it, he is falling over his chair. The wood stabs his legs and his right side, his arms barely preventing his head from hitting the floor.

“I FORBIDDEN YOU FROM HURTING ANYONE IN THIS FAMILY YOU MONSTER”

Felix is too shocked to notice that the flames suddenly disappeared like they had never been there. It feels like he is observing the scene from an outside point of view. His anger has completely washed over his body, leaving him with trembling and bruised limbs.

His father grasps Felix’s shirt in his fist and pulls him closer so he could spit on his face as he yells at him words his brain can’t comprehend. Felix wants to scream a name stuck under his tongue, but he doesn’t know what it is. Doesn’t remember. A child screams their mother’s name when they are in danger. Felix doesn’t have that instinct. It’s someone’s else name that tighten its thread around his neck, like a piece of bread stuck in his throat that he is unable to swallow down or spit out.

He feels like a doll in his father’s hands as he lifts him without any need of strength and smashes his back against the perfectly cleaned tiles of the kitchen’s floor. Felix’s body rolls a few meters away before it hits the wall with a vibrating thud, his blurry and dense vision only having the time to see his mom urging his sisters out of the room.

“LEAVE HIM ALONE. ENOUGH. YOU’VE DONE ENOUGH!” The woman screams, now standing between him and her husband. Felix lifts himself up with a whimper leaving his lips. His whole body aches.

“I’M GETTING SICK OF HIS SORCERY TRICKS. HE IS DANGEROUS AND THREATENING ALL OF OUR LIVES!” he points an accusing finger at him. “ASK HIM IF HE DIDNT THREATEN TO DEATH OUR NEIGHBOUR. ASK HIM!”

His mother doesn’t speak. She purses her lips, squeeze her fists tighter and keep her back to her son.

Felix doesn’t try to deny the accusation. He might not have anything to do with the fire even if it isn’t the first time that strange things happen around him, but he did threaten that bastard with a damn fork.

“HE NEED TO BE LOCKED IN AN ASYLUM THAT’S WHAT’S BEST FOR EVERYONE!”

Felix stands up as straight as he can the moment his mother grabs a chair and throws it at her husband. The man, and Felix himself, is too shocked to stop the object from slamming on his chest with a loud resonating sound. “Don’t you _dare_say that to _my son_”

“I want _your son _away from _my daughters _this instant. If I see him in this house by tomorrow, I’m reporting him to the cops for attempted murder” 

It’s as if a lightning has stroke Felix. Before he knows it, he is running out of the kitchen, going straight to his bedroom. He slams the door shuts behind him, frozen in place as he listens to the blood rushing in his ears.

His mom doesn’t call for his name nor does she try to stop him. He doesn’t know if he is relieved or hurt.

With adrenaline still burning his veins, he pulls his phone out of his back pocket and dial a number.

It rings three times.

“Hello, this is University of Sydney, you are calling the dorms for intern, how may I help?” A woman’s voice says with a tired heavy tone.

“Lee Felix, name’s Lee Youngbok Felix. I-” He takes a sharp breath in to collect himself. “I asked for a room a couple of weeks ago?”

There’s a short-outstretched silence. “Yes, I can see your name. You haven’t responded to our email asking you If you’d like to take the room or not”

“Yes yes I’ll take it” his voice is urged and pressed. He presses his lips when he feels the surprised silence behind the line. “I-I mean yeah please if it’s still available. Wh-when can I move in?”

The woman laughs. “Never saw anyone this pressed to take a room in this damned building” there’s the sound of the keyboard. “You can move in as soon as tomorrow, your roommate came yesterday.”

Felix nods to himself. He thanks the person behind the phone and hangs up. Abruptly, with frantic and trembling hands, he swings his closet open and pulls out his suitcase. The object is laying at his feet when he starts pulling random clothes from his wardrobe and throw them inside the open luggage. His breathing is shallow and itched, as if he just ran a mile.

Honestly, he actually had planned to go live in the dorms for some time but was starting to change his mind. Now, he’s glad he hadn’t cancelled the room he had asked. He will pay with the money he made in his summer job so that isn’t really the problem. Felix just isn’t comfortable rooming with strangers. Guess he doesn’t really have a choice now.

Newborn tears blur his vision and make him stop his frantic course of actions. He stands there, arms hanging beside his body like two misplaced foreign dolls arms. A yellow hoodie is clenched in his right hand, the hanger that once majestically showcased it in his wardrobe is now broken, teared apart when Felix had forcefully dislocated it toward him. 

His legs give up on supporting the unwanted sorrow and send him crumbling to the ground.

Tears flood on his cheeks. Felix presses his mouth against his palms, suppressing the whimpers and sobs already gagging in his throat.

_He needs to be locked in an asylum_

The words resonate in his head like an echo in an empty theatre. The walls around him feel like they are closing up on him. Felix doesn’t want to be locked. He can’t be. He won’t.

His chest heaves up and down in rapid shaken repeated movements, like a single piece of leaf in a storm, vainly holding unto the branch.

He has this urge to jump out the window and run in an open field as fast as his legs could hold him. 

“You’re just claustrophobic” he whispers to himself. “You’re fine. It’s nothing else. You’re perfectly fine.”

Felix swings his body back and forth, arms folded around his legs. He tries not to think of Rachel’s scream of panic. Of Olivia’s wide and petrified eyes. Of the spark of fear in his mom’s orbs. He tries so desperately to get those images out of his head, but they appear behind his eyelids like fireworks. His whole body is sweating, and it feels like fog of heat is trapping him inside a tiny clown box.

“It’s just a panic attack. You’re okey. Yo-your okey” he gasps in shallow puffs of air. Felix tries to focus on the bed frame pocking his back. On the cold tiles under his feet. On the colorful clothes sprawled all around him. On the moonlight shining through his window, casting its light on the ground in the dark room. On the tic tac of the clock barely hearable behind his hectic breathing and thundering heartbeats in his ears. 

When he finally has the strength to pull himself up, he lets the cold water of the shower wash away the sweat and track of tears bellow swollen eyes. The coldness eases the ache in his back, and it comfort the urge to scratch his skin to the bones. Whenever his emotions are boiling high, Felix has this strange feeling that something is stuck under the skin of his back, needing to be let out. Like a cold shiver slithering inside of him to all parts of his body.

When Felix gets back to his room, the adrenaline has left his nerves, only leaving heavy and tired limbs. He stuffs his clothes back in his suitcase and leave it beside his door.

He falls asleep like a toddler who cried too much because he had missed his afternoon nap.

\---

As he expected, his mother has the perfect timing of stopping him before he can escape out of this house.

She is glaring at the suitcase in his hand with mixed terror and anger, like if Felix is holding a knife dirtied by blood.

Her arms are folded against her chest and she looks cold. “Felix baby what are you doing?” she follows up before he has the time to form his thoughts. “Your father didn’t mean it sweetheart; he’ll get over it.” Her tone is similar to the one Felix used to kindergarten when they didn’t understand something bad they did. He suppresses the urge to scream. “No mom. He meant every single world of it. It’s not the first time that this is happening anyway. Only this time, I have the opportunity to actually leave.” His voice is horse and scratchy, making it even lower than usual.

“Where do you think you’re going then? You have nowhere else to go” Her face switches back to anger. It sounds like she finds satisfaction of that fact, which Felix understands to a certain degree. “I’m taking a room in the campus.”

He stares at her for a long second, but as she doesn’t say anything and only continues to pursue her lips, Felix makes a move to leave. The door is about to close behind him when she calls his name. “Felix?”

He fixes his eyes unto hers. He doesn’t know what he’s hoping for, but when she doesn’t say anything else, his chest heaves in expected disappointment. It’s not like he would have wanted her to stop him. Or maybe he secretly had. Wanted her to fight for him and protect him, like yesterday when she had said _“Don’t you dare say that to my son” _with so much anger and protectiveness.

Absent mindedly walking toward the bus station, empty thoughtful eyes staring at the pavement, he forces himself to realize that it’s for the best after all.

The trip back to school isn’t as tiring as it usually is. His mind is too preoccupied by other things. Before he really realizes it, he is standing in front of the dorm’s building. The edifice is indeed old and huge in every aspect. Felix feels tiny compared to it.

He pushes the door open, the wood wincing as it does so, just like it probably would if he was in Dracula’s manor. The hall surprisingly isn’t as big as he expected it to be. The front desk stands in the middle, right in front of the door. From either side, a set of elevators and old looking couches and chair dirtied by time.

“Hello” his voices crocks like a raven who had been disturbed.

The women behind the counter lifts her eyes, her glasses sliding on her nose. “Lee Felix may I guess?”

He nods, squeezing his fingers from where she can’t see them.

“Here you go” A set of golden keys are handed to him. “You can take the right elevator to the top floor.”

Felix nods again like a broken toy stuck on repeat.

He does as he was told, and as the engine takes him higher through the floors, his anxiety seems to levitate as well. The anticipation is crawling in his nerves. What if his roommate is a complete asshole? What if he hates him and makes his life hell? What if he bullies him and living with his father ends up being the better option? What if-

The metallic doors open, and his train of thoughts stop short. The hallways are small and tight, he can’t even outstretch his arms. The number on his key indicates a room somewhere on his right side.

The more he walks; the louder voices can be heard through a door somewhere up front. Soon, he can indeed see a couple of students standing outside a door to Felix’s left side.

“_HE WILL DISTROY YOU_” a male’s voice screams in Korean.

Felix stops walking. From their backs, he can recognize Yang Jeongin and Kim Seungmin from Vocal class. They are standing beside each other, eyebrows frowned in front of the open bedroom door where someone had screamed those words.

Hwang Hyunjin is standing close to them, and someone else he can’t recognize a little farther back, the closest to Felix.

“_YOU SAID YOU WOULDN’T TALK TO HIM, YOU-”_the voice breaks. The person is screaming with anger, yet, there’s so much pain in it. “_You promised.”_The boy suddenly appears in Felix’s view. One with strong built body and fierce eyes.

“_You- you don’t understand_.” Someone else says. It’s unmistakably Han Jisung’s voice. “_It’s none of your business Changbin. It’s none of your fucking business._” It’s as if it takes a lot out of him to simply state those words. He sounds so much tired and hurt.

“_Is it?_” Changbin asks. “_Is it really none of my business?_” He takes a step forward, eyes glassy from unshed tears. “_He will break you without even realizing it. He will bring forward memories that you suffered so much just to bury them deep down in your heart. And YOU will be the only one hurting because HE DOESN’T REMEMBER SHIT AND NEVER WILL_” Felix instinctively takes a step backward. “_AND I WILL BE THE ONE LEFT BEHIND TO COLLECT THE PIECES OF YOUR BROKEN HEART BACK TOGETHE! IS HE REALLY WORTH SO MUCH SORROW? HE LEFT YOU BEHIND JISUNG. HE DECIDED TO RUN AWAY AND ERASE ALL HIS ME-_”

“Seo Changbin” a new voice suddenly says. Low and threatening. All sounds around Felix abruptly stops. The words hadn’t been screamed, on the contrary, they had been quietly said, but it’s apparently far enough to make Changbin stop. It’s surprising that he had even heard it.

Felix turns around, jumping out of his skin. Bang Chan is standing right behind him, hands hidden in the pockets of his black pants. His eyes are casted behind Felix. “That’s enough” he says in English. “Look, you collected quiet an audience” Chan’s eyes travel to Felix, offering him a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes.

Felix throws glances around him, noting that all the attention is now on him. Even Jisung and Changbin are now standing in the hallway and casting toward him wide stunned eyes.

“I- I’m sorry I just-” The Australian born stutters, heat coloring his cheeks. If the floor would open bellow his feet, he will allow it to swallow him. “I was just- I was looking for my room I-” he lifts his key, biting his lower lip. “I was just looking for my room I didn’t mean to eavesdrop”

Chan’s smile turns softer, instantly easing Felix’s nerves.

“It’s not your fault, those two made quite a show of themselves. It’s their fault for screaming that much” He throws a glare behind Felix’s shoulder. When he turns his attention back to him, it’s like he never looked like he was about to murder all of them a second before.

“Let me see your room number? Ahh Minho!” Chan smiles to a boy standing behind Felix once he has a clear view on the number scratched on Felix’s keys.

“Looks like you have a roommate!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLOOO yes i'm finally back! 
> 
> I'm sorry for making you wait for so long but it had been quite a hectic month; back to school, skz comeback, voting, streaming, exams, projects gnagnagna 
> 
> But yeah I'm back with a shorter chapter than last time but still quite long i think. 
> 
> I just realized that i make the boys go through so much it's literally angst after angst. BUT HEY OT8 ARE FINALLY REUNITED CLAP CLAP CLAP
> 
> To celebrate, family fluff next chapter pinky promise! 
> 
> Thank you for taking the time to read as always and yeah Comments are so much appreciated,  
SEE YA


	21. Oh Poor Miserable Soul

The sun is filtering through the big glass wall of the music department; cold, merciless, promise of warmness that was no more. Instead, a freezing breeze fills the atmosphere, hinting to a winter that was closing up way faster than Felix would have liked it too.

His vanilla hazelnut coffee is procuring some warmth, but all Felix needs from it is some energy. He had early class this morning, his schedule as unluckily crappy as usual, following with history of music at 13 o'clock. Which means, in exactly ten minutes.

Just as Felix turns his back to the tempting exit and is about to walk toward his class, a figure suddenly appears in front of him. He takes a few instinctive steps back, his hand against his chest. “Hyunsuk you scared me” he scoffs, “I didn’t see you there”

The young man smiles at him with a tilt of his head. “Sorry, you looked thoughtful I didn’t want to disturb you”

“You’re all good” Felix adjusts his school bag. “Was just thinking that the weather is getting colder”

Hyunsuk nods absently and they both start walking toward the auditorium. “You think so? I haven’t really felt it”

Just as Felix grabs the handle of the door to pull it open, he is suddenly stopped by Hyunsuk’s firm grip on his wrest.

“Crap, I forgot my Mac in my locker, can you come with me? It won’t take long”

Felix nods, glad to find a distraction that pushes back the inevitable 3 long hours of History lecture.

Hyunsuk’s locker is in the basement, a darkened and dusty place. The hallways are tight and numerous, luring the students to get lost in their maze. The ceiling is low, and the place overall is rarely frequented by students if it isn’t rushing hours.

“It’s over here” Hyunsuk says, pushing the door open for Felix. The room is vast, but it looks small with the hundreds of yellowed lockers aligned like soldiers.

Felix waits for his friend by the door, his back against the wall. Being claustrophobic, this place is by far one of the worst he has been in. He tries to keep his breathing even, trying to focus on Hyunsuk’s frantic movements as he hurries to grab his things.

“I’m done let’s go”

They walk back in silence, a strangely tense one somehow.

Felix has never really felt uncomfortable around the older boy before this precise instant. Maybe it has something to do with the suffocating basement and his phobia raging in his bones. Maybe it’s just because of the deserted long hallways and the strange atmosphere that comes with the place. Whatever it is, he can’t wait to get out.

“Wait- I think we took the wrong hallway” Hyunsuk exasperatedly sighs, halting in his walk when they don't find the stairs that were supposed to be there.

Felix, who had taken a few steps ahead, stops and looks around; endless tight hallways and low ceilings smile back at him. He bits his lower lip, waiting for the other to take a decision before Felix’s shattered breath turns unto a full blown out panic attack.

“This sucks I didn’t even have the time to grab something to eat”

His voice is reaching him from a third dimension. Felix is staring at him, but the edge of his vision is already blurring. His mind has the time to absurdly wonder why his friend is talking about food in a moment like this. Can't he see that Felix isn't even properly breathing anymore? Whizzing like a rotten piece of metal.

Hyunsuk's blurred figure is approaching but Felix finds himself taking several steps back, arms outstretched in front of him as if to protect himself from something that the rational part of his brain has no idea of. Words are being sad, his name is probably being called, but his breathing his loud in his ears and his head is lowering down, too heavy for his shoulders and neck muscles to hold it still.

Someone grabs his left shoulder, abruptly turning him around. Felix is too surprised and dizzy to react in any kind of way other than stupidly widen his eyes.

"M-Minho?"

His roommate blinks his big round eyes at him, his long eyelashes captivating Felix's attention enough to silence all the sounds around him. Minho is saying something, but they fall unto deaf ears. "Get me out" Felix whispers. Unable to hear his own voice, he repeats, grabbing the older's shirt in his fist. "Get me out"

Minho doesn't waste another second. He throws a glare to someone behind Felix, then nods as his eyes switch to another person the younger can’t see. After that, he wraps a secure steady hold around the Australian’s waist and lead him down the hall.

Felix isn't paying attention to where they're going, but once he hears the familiar sound of a door being pushed open, he abruptly lifts his head.

The wind blows in his hair and the sunlight blind his eyes. He can almost hear the chains that were wrapped around his chest and throat, enabling him to breathe properly, crumble unto ashes at his feet.

"-re you okey?"

He stares at Minho for a second, letting him drag him a couple of feet away from the door. When they stop walking, Felix's legs give up under him, sending him crumbling unto the grass. Minho gasps loudly, bending down in a vain attempt to catch him.

But Felix is suddenly laughing, a fist of giggle tickling his chest. His laugh gets louder in the silence of the campus, Minho glaring at him with a raised eyebrow. "Did your brain lack oxygen in there? Did you lose your mind?" he says, his hands letting go of Felix, instead falling beside his crouched body.

Felix's laughter slowly dies down, taking instead big gulf of air.

The door opens again. He expects Hyunsuk to come rushing out of it, probably ready to ask hundreds of questions and fuss about him but it's someone's else worried face that stands in front of him.

"IN? What were you doing in there?" he frowns his eyebrow and turn to face Minho. "You too. You just appeared out of nowhere?"

Jeongin sits down on the grass beside him. "What were _you_doing there Felix? Did- Did that bastard do anything to you?"

Felix's brain takes a long second to realize who they are talking about. "Hyunsuk? No no of course not, he wouldn't hurt a fly"

"Well, you didn't look really good there. And it didn't look like he was helping you" Minho snaps back, irritation dripping from his tone. Felix can however tell that he is more worried than he appears to be. "No it's all on me. I-" the Australian runs a hand in his hair. "I'm claustrophobic. We couldn't find the exit and I don't know I just started freaking out"

Jeongin and Minho shares a doubtful look, making Felix openly laugh at their concern. "Look" he lifts his right hand. "My hand's still shaking.” He scoffs.

“Then why the hell were you down there if you knew it would hurt you?” Jeongin asks with a sympathetic tone, grabbing his hand and messaging it.

“Hyunsuk asked me to come with him grab his things and I don’t know I thought I could handle it.” He switches his eyes toward Minho. “I couldn’t just say no”

Minho raises an eyebrow. “Yes you could’ve. It’s as easy as pronouncing two letters together; NO” he articulates slowly, as if really convinced that Felix is unable to use such word. Him and Minho had shared a room for now three weeks. They’ve gotten close pretty quickly. It’s all thanks to the older who is incredibly talented in starting conversations and making people feel comfortable. He says and acts oddly half of the time, but it’s one of his charms.

Felix has also gotten closer with some of the new students; Jeongin and the way he smirks when he is talking about ghosts just to scare Hyunjin, Seungmin with his devil like smiles and pranks, Ryujin and her cheerful soul, and of course Han Jisung. Felix didn’t really have the chance to exchange much with the latter other than greetings here and there and the few times they grabbed lunch together when they happened to have a break at the same time, but he almost immediately had fallen closer and comfortable with Jisung. It’s almost as if they’ve known each other for years. Felix doesn’t feel like he has to force a conversation or act in a certain way when he is with the one-day older boy then when he is with literally everyone else. Him and Jisung even started hugging each other as a way of greeting only a couple of days after first meeting.

It’s odd, but in a good comfy way. It’s like a piece of puzzle has finally fallen back in its place.

Speaking of the devil.

“What are you guys doing exactly?” Jisung asks when he is close enough to them. “If I had known we have a schedule of sitting in the grass at 13:14pm, I would have brought some snacks”

Felix smiles wide, a giggle shaking his chest. He lifts his arms toward Jisung, urging the other to help him up, which he immediately complies too. “Save me Han-ie, these two are being mommy bears” he says, comically clinging to the other’s arms.

Jisung glares down at the two still sitting on the grass. “What have you done?”

“Can I have food? I’m hungry” Jeongin asks instead, completely ignoring his question.

The three starts bickering. Minho stares at their childish exchange of words. _What does mommy bears even mean?_

“Let’s go Felix, I’ll buy some food” Jisung adjusts his and Felix’s intertwined arms so they can both walk comfortably. “Only for you” he says as he glares at Jeongin who fakes being offended.

“I have class right now” Felix stops walking, pouting at the two. He’s about to say something else to try to cheer them back up when Minho wraps his arm around his neck. “And? Just skip it, I’ll ask Lia for her notes if you’re that worried” He starts walking again, forcing Felix and Jisung who still have their arms linked together to walk along.

Felix thinks about it for a second before he nods. He knows that he won’t be able to concentrate in his lecture anyway.

No one says anything else. Felix wonders if any of them have any destination, but it seems like the only goal right now is to get away from the university as far as possible. They are about to cross the road, when someone suddenly screams behind their backs.

“HAN JISUNG”

Jisung and Felix simultaneously startle, abruptly turning around in one swift movement. “Oops” A smile stretches Jisung’s lips, eyes warming up at the sight of Changbin, Chan, Seungmin and Hyunjin practically running from the university entrance toward them. “I forgot to tell them where I was going before I just ran off to come meet you” he turns his eyes toward Felix, tighten his hold on his hand, and his eyes glitters. “Run” he mutters under his breath.

Felix doesn’t need him to say it twice. He starts running in the direction Jisung took, a loud giggle escaping his lips when Minho and Jeongin gasps in shock and Changbin yells again after them.

The action is unfamiliar. The happiness and freedom blooming in his chest is unfamiliar. The way his cheeks hurt from smiling and his throat aches from laughing too loudly as he breathlessly run beside Jisung is foreign. It feels like he’s flying. Running besides Han Jisung, hand in hand, euphoria empowering their muscles, feel like they are both flying in the middle of clouds. It’s a stupid and naive thought, but it makes Felix happy in a way that he doesn’t ever remember feeling.

A bus suddenly stops beside them and both boys hops in it without having to discuss it, like if their minds are connected. “They’ll be able to get in” Jisung murmurs while panting, throwing a look behind him to the 6 boys sprinting to catch the bus.

“I’m gonna kill you” Seungmin shouts at him breathlessly when he gets in, walking toward the back of the bus where Jisung and Felix are already sited side by side.. Hyunjin’s Changbin’s and Chan’s chest aren’t even heaving from having unexpectedly taken a sprint, Minho looks more annoyed than tired and Jeongin is simply smiling through it all.

Felix half has the mind the wonder what exactly lead to all of them being in the same place, not like they were that close to hangout yet, but he doesn’t have the heart to ask. He simply wants to enjoy the ride while it lasts.

“You two” Chan says pointing his finger at the two, his arm clinging to the metal bar to stop himself from falling when the bus takes off. “I don’t like both of you together, split it up” He grins, his tone playful. Jisung’s smile widen as if that is still possible. “Felix completes me. I think you might have to deal with my mischief double two”

“I like it” Jeongin says with his fennec like sharp eyes. Hyunjin wraps an arm around his neck. “Don’t imitate them. You’ll get into trouble more often than not”

“As if you’re any better” Changbin raises an eyebrow. “You tried to sneak in 1.5L of liquid luck in the plane”

Felix doesn’t know what that is in the slightest, but he laughs alongside Jisung and Chan as Hyunjin dramatically gasps. “Seungmin had given it to me I didn’t know that we weren’t allowed too”

“Why am I being dragged unto this?”

They continue their fierce energetic exchange of words, but Felix isn’t listening anymore. His eyes travel to Minho, sitting like a rigid piece of wood, his hand firmly clenching on the metallic bar until his fingers turn red from the pressure.

Jisung seems to have followed his diversion of attention because he asks first; _“Minho hyung are you alright?” _His Korean is clear and simple enough for Felix to understand. His knowledge on the language are apparently higher than he thought they’d be.

Minho slowly turns his head around. Everyone has stopped talking and is staring at him. He frowns his eyebrows, but rather than angry, he looks strangely cute. “I don’t like it” he simply says.

They all coo at him and Felix can’t help smiling again. Jisung stands up and approaches him with a wide smile, Minho’s expression merging unto one of an upset child. _“I’ll hold your hand Hyung, we’ll get off at the next stop promise” _

He sits beside him and hold the Minho’s hand, replacing the metallic bar to squeezing his hand.

And just as he promised, they hop off the bus soon after.

Felix looks around him. He had impulsively jumped unto the public transport without thinking much of their destination, but Jisung apparently had.

“Felix, you’re coming?”

Chan had stopped walking while the rest had walked ahead. Felix didn’t really have the occasion to talk more with him, but every time, the older had greeted him warmly. He feels safe around him. It’s strange, it’s a feeling he never felt before, but it’s appeasing.

“Have you ever been here before?” Chan asks when they walk side by side a couple of feet behind the group.

“A couple of times” Felix replies. Sydney National park is a wonderful and gorgeous place, and although he would have wanted to come more often, he never really had the time or occasion too. “Rachel and Olivia come here often with their mom. We came all together as a family once or twice but- I felt like an outsider in both times. A duck in the middle of a family of swan” he scoffs, throwing a glance at Chan who smiles back, although his eyes seem to be sad. Felix doesn’t know why he’s telling this to Chan. He never did to any of his friends like Yedam or Hyunsuk and he’d known them longer. Maybe it’s because Chan is still a stranger. “So, I declined the following offers of coming here with them. With my mom, stepdad and his daughters that is. It’s not like I don’t like them or anything I just- I think they’d be better off without me you know?” Chan probably doesn’t know. Felix is burdening him with all his family problems. The older just asked a simple question, not for Felix to start ranting about his life. But he needed to let it out, and it’s somehow a weight off his heart. “I know” Chan surprisingly responds. “Feeling like an outcast. Like- a stray kid.” He points with his head the rest of the group in front of them. They stopped at an ice cream shop and they look like they are eagerly discussing what they’d like to get. Minho already has his wallet out, ready to pay. Jisung is the only one standing a little further behind and the closest to Chan and Felix. He’s looking thoughtfully at the menu, expression somehow off. “I think all the kids can relate to what you said. It probably isn’t my place saying this, but you should talk it out with your family. Tell them how you really feel. It may resolve some problems, or It may not, but it will make you feel better getting it off your chest, like it did telling me this right?”

Felix doesn’t have the time to agree, Seungmin is screaming their name, waving at them with big arm mentions, “FELIX! CHAN! WHY ARE YOU WALKING LIKE SNAILS? HURRY UP WE’RE GONNA ORDER!”

Eating an ice cream under the sun in a park with his friends is one of those small happiness that lighten his heart. It’s not the first time he’s doing such thing, but today, everything feels so much brighter and joyful. It’s stupid and weird but he almost wants to cry from happiness. From this feeling of freedom and childish excitement he is getting from betting Hyunjin to a race although Felix is pretty convinced the older purposefully lost, or from the face Changbin made when his vanilla strawberry ice cream leaked on his favorite shirt.

They all sat in a circle on the grass on a part of the park less crowded by the families with their screaming children or the couples. There are trees on one of their side and a shimmering river on the other. All of their attention is on Minho, who is trying ice cream for the first time. 

Felix had honestly been surprised when the said boy had confessed that he never tried it before, but none of the other boys seemed to be. It was relieving in a way, that it didn’t steer any gasps or wide stunned eyes. It made Felix feel like he can tell them anything without feeling embarrassed of the reactions he might cause.

“It’s weird” Minho’s face is scrunched in a confused expressing as he licks again. “It’s good I guess?”

Seungmin, who’s sitting in front of him, waves his right hand at him. “You’ll get used to the taste and you’ll start liking it. You’re feeling weird because it’s the first time”

“Trying new things is like meeting people for the first time” Changbin is laying on the grass, eyes closed. “You’re unsure, shy and a bit hesitant. You need to meet the person multiple times in order to decide if you like them or not. Give everything in life multiple chances, you never know if it’ll be beneficial to you in the future”

Jisung suddenly stands up from where he was sitting between Felix and Minho, startling everyone. He claps his hands together, throwing a glance around the circle they had formed. “That’s some cute deep words. Now, who wants to play tag?”

The hours leak by one after the other without Felix realizing that time had passed. For Tag game, Chan had been assigned to try catch them. Then, it was Changbin and after that Jeongin who caught all of them in a record time. Who knew he’d be that good at it? Hyunjin found a soccer ball under some trees, and they ended up having a match 4 against 4, 00born opposite Chan, Minho, Changbin and IN. By the time they are done playing the mafia game, the sun has already set, and the stars are sparkling like diamonds above their heads. Felix’s head is on Jisung’s laps. Minho is laying on his stomach, his eyes set on the river while his fingers swim inside the water. Chan and Jeongin are sitting side by side, the younger’s head on the older’s shoulder. Seungmin is lying on the grass, eyes fixed on the dark sky while Hyunjin and Changbin are sitting cross legged on either side of him. It’s peaceful, and Felix wishes he can fall asleep right here and now inside this circle of comfort and warmness until the end of the world.

“I have this app that generates random questions. Let’s try it and get to know each other better what you say?” Chan asks, his attention already on his phone.

“Seems good” Felix mumbles half asleep, Jisung playing with his hair.

Seungmin sits up, looking excited. “Let’s go by age order then” he takes Chan’s phone from his hands. “Chan you first”

The older nods, relaxing back. “Okey, first question” Seungmin squints his eyes at the screen where a question suddenly appeared. “Favorite sport?”

“Ouch this is hard” Chan frowns his eyebrows. “Either soccer or swimming. I like both”

“Minho” Seungmin calls out to the boy who turns his head toward them. “Do you have a pet? If not, what would you like to have?”

“A shark” he responds immediately. “He’s dangerous so he can fight for me when I don’t want too. And if he turns against me, I’ll just eat him, shark meat is really good”

Felix frowns his eyebrows, but he doesn’t say anything. Living with Minho for the past three weeks has successfully proven him how weird the other can he. He simply stopped questioning him the day he slept under the bed because it apparently was more comfortable or that one time when he asked what electricity was. 

“G-great, Changbin hyung favorite hobby?”

“Running in the woods during a full moon. There’s no better feelings than the one you have with the air in your fur-”

“OKAY great next” Seungmin cuts him short, Jisung and Hyunjin barely managing to hold in their laughs. Felix doesn’t really get it, but he smiles along.

“Hyunjin, favorite drink?”

“Bl-“

“You know what? Let’s just not play” Seungmin snaps, throwing back the phone to Chan and letting himself fall back on the grass.

Laugh erupts all around the circle of friend, and although Felix doesn’t know what Hyunjin was about to say that made Seungmin stop him short, he giggles alongside them. He missed it, laughing until his side and cheeks hurt.

“I was about to say Blue slush jeez” Hyunjin rolls his eyes, a smirk plastered on his lips

Chan playfully shoves him before he opens the app again. “Jisung, proudest thing you’ve done?”

Silence settles back, waiting for the said boy’s answer. Felix turns around so he can see his thoughtful face above his, glaring at the sky. “I don’t think there’s anything I’ve done that I’m proud of?” His hand stops playing with Felix’s hair. “Being here in this moment, alive and laughing with you guys. I think that’s what I’m the proudest of” he nods to himself, and when no one says anything, he scoffs shyly. “It’s stupid-”

“No it’s not” Felix sits up, fixing his eyes unto Jisung’s glooming ones. “Living isn’t a piece of cake. It’s hard and tiring and just- so exhausting. We all came this far and to be able to have a moment of peace like this, I think it’s something worthy of being proud of”

Jisung offers him a shaky smile. Felix doesn’t know if he is imagining it because it’s getting really dark, but his eyes looks teary.

“Felix is right, I wouldn’t have put it in better words” Changbin confirms, nodding at the ground.

Felix lays back down on Jisung’s laps, waiting for his question. “Felix, hardest thing you accomplish- no wait forget it let me ask you something else”

“No it’s alright” the wind is picking up and Felix shivers. “I- got unto a car accident at 15” Jisung’s hand stop it’s mentions, and Felix almost wishes he had kept his mouth shut. “I don’t remember the accident; I don’t remember anything before that age except a couple of memories with my mom here and there from when I was really young” his heartbeat picks up and he wonders why the hell he is telling them this. “It’s like all my memories have been whipped. It’s frustrating and I felt like a broken music box more often than not. I think recovering from that had been the hardest for me.”

There’s a silence, this time, tense. Felix doesn’t have the courage to look at any of them. The park is completely empty now, and the only sound filling the air is from the tree branches dancing under the wind and the river singing to sleep the nature around it. Even Minho has stopped playing with the water.

“I know how you feel” Felix can’t help his head from turning to face Seungmin who has sat up. “I lost my memories at the age of 10. I don’t remember my parents or a single thing from that time. It’s like I was born again.” He lifts his head and offers a smile to Felix. “I don’t have any comforting words to tell you, but I just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone going through stuff like these”

“Thank you” Felix murmurs, as if afraid to disturb the peaceful ambiance.

Chan doesn’t ask any more questions, and it’s silent for a while. Felix has closed his eyes, lured to sleep by Jisung’s comforting strokes in his hair. Minho has started playing with the river’s water again, the sound he created reaching Felix’s ears like a lullaby.

“I think we should head back. Jeongin is dead asleep” Chan whispers, starting to shuffle.

“Lixie, c’mon don’t fall asleep” Jisung is shaking his shoulder gently, trying to get him to move. Felix doesn’t want too. He’s too warmly set, even if it’s getting colder around him. He grunts, cuddling closer to the others stomach to protect himself from the freezing wind. “No” Jisung giggles, tapping the other’s back like a drum. “C’mon, if you don’t get up, I’ll have to ask Minho to throw you in the river”

“That’s an amazing idea” Minho joins in. “A midnight freezing little bath.”

Felix doesn’t need to hear it again. He jumps to his feet, running away from the two, passing past Seungmin Changbin and Hyunjin until he reaches Chan and Jeongin who are already walking toward the exit of the park. He wraps his arms around his body, sleepily glaring at the floor.

“Awake mate?”

Felix blinks his eyes sleepily at Chan. “I want to sleep”

Chan giggles, his dimples digging their way in his cheeks. He wraps an arm around the younger’s shoulder. “It’s past your bedtime, noted”

\---

Jeongin falls back asleep in the bus ride back to their dorm. He isn’t usually this sleepy, but he wasn’t able to sleep that much since they came here. There’s a strange aura in the old building. He can constantly feel the presence of other beings all around him; when he is taking a shower, when he is eating in the shared kitchen and especially when he is sleeping, as if someone is constantly breathing down his neck. Chan isn’t the best when it comes to sleep either, and because they share a room, they’re mostly either reading or working on music until 4 or 5 am. 

This evening however, he felt safe. At ease for the first time in god knows how long. No one was whispering in his ear trying to get his attention, no creepy weird noises around him, nothing. Simply the sound of his friends laughing and playing around. Besides, Chan’s shoulder is comfortable, and he feels safe in his presence.

“INnie? Wake up buddy we arrived”

Jeongin sleepily opens his eyes. Chan is smiling at him, and when he sees that he got the younger’s awake, he wraps a hand around his shoulders to help him stand up and walks out the bus. They are the last ones getting off, the other’s already walking ahead of them.

“Hello Miss Benson! What’s up?” Hyunjin enthusiastically asks, as if it isn’t the middle of the night. The old woman tiredly sarcastically smiles back at him. “You’re way past your curfew, that’s what’s up. Go to your rooms before I make you pay extra”

“We love you too Miss Benson. What a lovely necklace you have by the way! Lovely!” Hyunjin replies before the elevator’s door close. “Never seen an uglier piece of plastic in my life” he says when he is safely inside the metallic box. Jeongin doesn’t have the energy to reply. He hears someone say something to the young vampire, but he isn’t really paying attention.

His hand is itching.

“Jeongin, what are you doing?”

He turns his head toward Changbin, who is frowning at him confusedly. He opens his mouth to reply to the older, but the elevator movement cuts him short. It’s going down.

“Why is it going down? Our rooms are up” Seungmin asks with a slightly scared voice. Jeongin turns his head to the control panel. His own finger is pressed on the basement bouton._What the-? _

His hand recoils back against his chest like if it had been burnt. He didn’t even realise that he had lifted his arm. _Oh gosh this is not happening in front of his new and only friends please no no no_

“It’s alright, it was a mistake we can just press our floor” Chan who is standing behind Jeongin presses the top digital just as the elevator opens its door to the basement.

_'_ _Bang Chan'_

_'Bang Christopher Chan'_

It’s a voice, whispering in a raspy low tone within the darkness of the floor.

Without really thinking, as if someone possessed his body, Jeongin walks out the elevator the moment the doors start closing. The basement is occupied by the laundry rooms and a couple closets filled with useless tools forgotten probably years ago, left to take the dust. The lights are almost all broken, only a few still working, glitching more often than not.

“Jeongin, INnie please what are you doing?” Hyunjin whispers after him, his voice shaking.

The said boy looks around him. There are two long hallways, right and left.

_'Bang Chan'_

The voice whispers again.

It’s not the first time Jeongin hear voices. Hell, the first time he did was when he didn’t even learn to speak yet. Voices, beings beyond the living’s veil, always tries to reach out to him. He’s a banshee after all. He was born with this curse. But never before had he heard them call the name of someone he is closes too. If they had called his name, he would have ignored it. But what the fuck does Chan have anything to do with them?

A movement toward his left catches his attention, and he abruptly turns his head. The hall is empty.

“Jeongin? Jeongin baby, you amazing love of my life please don’t do this to us” Jisung calls back behind him. Jeongin isn’t listening. He feels like he is wrapped by a heavy dark blanket, engulfing him away from the livings and dragging him unto the abyss.

_'Bang Chan, Oh poor creature. Oh poor Bang Chan.'_

He starts walking down the hall, his footsteps echoing against the walls.

“INie? No no c’mon it’s midnight isn’t it like witch hours or something? Why are we doing this?” Jisung rumples, squeezing Felix’s hand.

“Witching hour is 3am, it’s just midnight” Chan replies, walking out the elevator and following behind Jeongin. “_Hyung!_” Jisung and Hyunjin whisper yell at the same time, but their leader ignores them. “I always wanted to meet a ghost” Seungmin says as he and Changbin follow after Chan. Jisung, Hyunjin and Felix turn their eyes toward Minho. “Don’t look at me like that” he walks out the elevator. “What’s a ghost anyway?”

“Minho-”

“I’m kidding” the siren cut the vampire. “There are plenty of them in the depth of the ocean. If you don’t piss them off, they aren’t that bad you know?”

“Don’t leave me behind!” Hyunjin quietly shouts, running after Minho.

Jisung and Felix are the only ones left. Jisung sighs before tugging Felix out the elevator. “Gosh what am I dragging you unto?”

“But I don’t believe in ghosts” Felix mumbles, uncertain of what’s happening. “Sure sweetheart. Sure”

At the other side of the hall, Jeongin has stopped walking.

An old woman is sitting on the ground right in front of them, blocking the way. She is sitting cross legged, face wrinkled by time. Tattoos are printed unto her whole face and the apparent part of her arms. Her hands are pressed against her face as her cries resonates against the walls.

“Do you see her?” Jeongin asks with a trembling voice, not daring to tear her eyes away from her. Chan, who is standing right beside him, hold his hand. “See who?”

The elder woman removes her hands and lifts her eyes, her cheeks painted red by bloody tears constantly spilling from her orbs. Jeongin’s eyes fill with tears. He is so terrified he feels like crying. He tightens his hold on Chan’s hand.

_“Oh poor sweetheart. Oh poor miserable soul”_bloody tears spill faster, her attention on Chan who is confusedly looking around them. Her eyes turn back to Jeongin and she leans forward to whisper. “_When the wolf will lose what’s most precious to him. When the twin’s power will awaken with the roar of the dragon. When the long-forgotten memories will raise back to life like a blazing fire. When all three will happen, don’t let the vampire drink the blood. Don’t let the vampire drink the blood.” _

Jeongin takes a step back when her voice starts raising, anger coating her eyes. “run” he cracks, hoping, praying that his voice had been loud enough for the others to hear. He can’t tear his eyes away from her tattooed face.

_'DON’T LET THE VAMPIRE DRINK THE BLOOD'_

“RUN” Jeongin screams. Chan doesn’t waste a single more second, neither does the rest. He tightens his grip on IN’s hand, turns around and starts running down the hall with the others.

Chan and Jeongin are the last ones to reach the elevator.

Jeongin tries not to look back. He really tries, but it’s as if someone physically forced his head to turn around.

When he does, the old woman’s face is centimeters away from his. She is so close that he can feel her breath on his face and count every damn wrinkle on her face. Her eyes are wide, bloody and terrorised. '_DON’T LET HIM FEED!'_

Jeongin let escape a scream, jumping back, hands flying to his ears to block out the voice tearing his head apart from the inside.

Everything’s a blur of static noises and trembling legs.

“You’re alright, it’s done, it’s over” The world start clearing around him. He is kneeling on the elevator’s floor as it takes them higher and higher. His tears are staining Chan’s shirt, as he sobs in his arms. “You’re safe. You’re safe I won’t let anyone hurt you” he repeats as he rubs his back.

_Oh Bang Chan, oh poor miserable soul. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLOOO 
> 
> Yes I know I promised 100% fluff but at this point I think I'm physically incapable of not including some angst. After all, we all love some hurt/comfort. 
> 
> I hope you didn't read that at night or in the dark lmao I literally shivered and teared up while writing the old woman's part that was scary, 
> 
> As always, thank you for reading, my twt is @felix_8felicis if you want to scream at me there, and comments are always so much appreciated, 
> 
> See yall ~~
> 
> ps: do you believe in ghosts and any form of paranormal activities? For me, I do *shivers*


	22. Oh Pain Hold My Hand and Make It Stop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW; mention of overdose

Two weeks has passed since the whole ghost incident. Jeongin had showed up the next day with a smile, as he usually did. The wrinkles didn’t show up under his eyes when his lips had stretched unto a grin, but that Felix had guessed is remotely normal after the hectic night. None of his new friends, because yes, he can dare call them that way now, had talked about what had happened in the basement so the least Felix could do is have the decency to not ask about it.

School had gone on like usual; lectures after lectures and essays after exams. Felix could feel the exhaustion, anxiety and stress creep up his neck with all the things he has to do, but his friends seemed to be dealing with other kinds of troubled minds. They skipped class more often than not; if it wasn’t the seven boys, than it was the five girls. Sometimes, none of them showed up. They whispered between themselves in rushed ways, constantly throwing sharp glares above their shoulders when they thought no one was looking. But Felix was. He noticed the way they grew somehow distant, from spending every lunch break together even if they had contradicting schedules to barely being able to exchange more than a couple of words with any of them. He noticed the way Minho started coming back to their shared room later every night. He noticed the veins under Hyunjin’s and Yeji’s eyes becoming more prominent every passing day. Noticed the way they examined the crowd fixatedly as if they could stare unto the souls of the random passerby.

It creeped Felix out. He was discovering a new side of them. A new face. They were not the friends that laughed with him in the park two weeks ago. Not the ones who talked behind the teachers back and took daily midnight trips to the roof to count the stars Chan seemed to know all by name. It hurts, suddenly being given a life worth of attention, care and freedom just so it gets teared away from him so easily. And Felix finds himself having to repeat to his heart that he’d met these boys only a month ago. They’ve probably have known each other longer and went through far more together. Felix is after all, only a stranger to them. They don’t know anything about each other’s lives. He’s constantly being reminded of how foreign he is inside their little group every time he approaches them, and they suddenly stop talking, feigning as if Felix’s presence hasn’t cut short their conversation. It hurts, feeling so out of place. He feels like an outsider in his own skin, in the middle of a world speaking a language he doesn’t have the slightest clue of. It isn’t a feeling he’s unknown of, but it still hurts.

Above all, there’s one thing that is far stranger than all the things that had happened the past two weeks from the ghost in the basement to the seven boys suddenly distancing themselves from him. Jisung, with who he had gotten the closest to before the one-day older boy started literally running away every time they somehow found themselves in the same room, has developed a strange hatred toward one of Felix’s closest friends. Whenever Hyunsuk is close by, Jisung’s shoulders tense and his whole face merges unto animosity and suspiciousness. It gets worse when Hyunsuk engage any kind of physical touch with Felix. The whole ordeal is weird and makes Felix uncomfortable. The other boy and himself have known each other for two years now. He’s the closest person to him. After Felix had lost his memories five years ago, Hyunsuk was the first person outside his family that he had grew attached too.

“Felix! Lix! Hey!”

Felix turns his head around, stopping in his track. He had gotten completely lost in his thoughts. Jisung is running down the hill toward him, his bag thrown above one of his shoulders. The younger is pleasantly surprised that for once in the past week, Jisung isn’t running away from him but actually towards him. “Hey” he breathes out while panting when he’s close enough. “How have you been?”

“I’m fine” Felix raises an eyebrow at him. “I turn the question back to you. You look like you’ve been running a mile”

Jisung awkwardly laughs, dodging his eyes. They slowly start walking again. “Y-yeah I was working out.”

It’s obviously a lie, but Felix doesn’t mention it. What could he say to that anyway?

They stay silent after that. It’s somehow tense and slightly heavy. It feels like Jisung has a lot of things to say but he doesn’t utter any word. Felix doesn’t really want to help him on that. It may be selfish and rude but he’s still a bit upset that all seven of them had seemed to agree to suddenly exclude him from whatever is going on. He doesn’t know why but it hurts the most coming from Han Jisung. The latter is about to say something, but he’s suddenly cut short.

“Felix! Mate wait up!”

Hyunsuk is suddenly by his side, wrapping an arm around Felix’s neck and laughing in his ear. Felix laughs along, the other’s happiness contagious. “What got you so happy? Won the lottery?”

Hyunsuk removes his hand so he can properly walk straight. “Ahh no but almost.” Felix’s face is turned toward him, but he can feel Jisung’s glare burning behind his head. Hyunsuk also seem to notice because his smile flatters. “Ahhh Han Jisung right?”

Jisung doesn’t answer, leaving a strange and heavy silence hanging above their heads. The other forces a smile before he turns his attention back to Felix. “Are you free? I want to buy you dinner. I didn’t get to properly apologize to what happened two weeks ago”

Felix frowns confused before he remembers what he’s talking about. His claustrophobia incident in the locker room. “No it’s alright don’t worry about it” he waves him off but his friend insists, a sincere apologetic and guilty expression coating his face. “C’mon I feel really bad about it. I should have remembered your fear and not have brought you there. I’ll buy you dinner at the nearest fast food. Like good old time.” He smirks, opening his arms wide as if to showcase the numerous times he and Felix had sneaked out either of class or their homes to go grab something to eat.

Felix gives up on the temptation for the soul happy memory, some tenseness leaving his shoulders. He feels pathetic but he craves to be with someone. Leaving his family house didn’t help the lonely monster scratching his chest with his long dirty old nails.“Okey yea-”

“He can’t.”

Felix and Hyunsuk both turn stunned faces toward Jisung who doesn’t budge. “He’s with me tonight. We have plans together can’t you see?”

Felix opens his mouth, but he doesn’t find anything to say. Him and Jisung hadn’t planned anything, but he doesn’t know why he can’t find the strength to contradict him. “Y-yeah right I completely forgot. Maybe we can go tomorrow?” he surprises himself saying. Why the hell is he taking Jisung’s sides without a single second of hesitation?

“Yeah mate sure you’re all good” Hyunsuk smiles again weirdly before he walks away with a wave of his hand.

Once he’s at a good distance, Felix stops walking in front of the subway and turns to face Jisung. “What was that?”

“What was what?” He asks innocently.

“You’re kidding me?”

Jisung sighs, turning his head away from Felix who’s insistently staring at him. He bits his lower lip, as if he’s deeply weighting his words. “Listen” he stares at him. “Be careful when you’re around Choi Hyunsuk okey? Don’t- don’t stay alone with him.”

“What?” Felix has perfectly heard him. Loud and clear. But the meaning of his words is so stupidly unbelievable that it’s hard for his brain to grasp the situation.

The boy looks troubled, as if he’s really in a war with himself. His hands in his pockets, he swings back and forth on the tip of his toes. “He’s weird Felix. He doesn’t sit right with me.”

Felix can’t help but scoff. He takes a few steps back and to properly face him. “He’s weird? Stay away from him? Do you even hear yourself?” Jisung is about to say something but he cuts him before he has the chance to form any words. “Who do you think you are to tell me something like this?” It’s stupid and he doesn’t know why it’s making him this angry, but he can’t stop himself. Maybe it’s weeks of cumulated stress spilling out of his mouth like a vomit of venom. “I’ve known Hyunsuk for two years. You’ve been around for like what? A month? You don’t even know him. You don’t even know _me_.” He runs a hand in his hair, biting the inside of his cheek to calm himself. Jisung doesn’t say anything. He keeps staring at him with pained eyes, as if Felix had punched him in the face. “Hyunsuk hasn’t even done anything to you. How can you even ask me to distance myself from my one and only closest friend when you guys have been avoiding me?”

Jisung is torn from his frozen state, eyebrows frowned and tentatively taking a step closer. “Wait what no-” but Felix takes a step back. People are probably staring at them, but he couldn’t care less. “You think I wouldn’t notice? The murmurs behind my back, the awkward pitiful looks, the constant and repetitive excuses so the seven of you can go do god know what?”

Felix glares at Jisung. He almost wishes he would say something. He prays he would. He almost begs for him to blunt any stupid excuses that would reassure him that it’s all in his head, that he’s been imagining everything. But Jisung doesn’t say anything. It feels like a dagger going right through his heart. He doesn’t even know why it’s affecting him this much; it’s only been a damn month. Why does it feel like they’ve known each other in their past lives or something?

“You know, I don’t know why but it hurts the most coming from you.”

He only has the time to see Jisung’s eyes tear up before he walks away. Guilt is slowly creeping toward his heart but it’s too late to take back anything. He meant every word he said.

Felix exit the campus and aimlessly roams around the city. The streets are buzzy, swarming with people. They are all rushing to go somewhere or to be with someone. He stops walking in front of a huge Christmas tree, sparkling brighter as the darkness of the sky cast its shadows on the living world above it. Right. It’s that time of the year again. He doesn’t remember ever seeing snow in person, yet, his body strangely remembers the feeling of a snowflake melting on his skin.

A couple is walking to his right, hand in hand and a bright naïve romantic smile on their lips. A group of friends are loudly laughing, multiple shopping bags in either of their hands. A small girl is standing in front of a shop window, her red dress flying around her in the wind as she points the doll behind the glass to her father, stars in her eyes. The one thing that sadden Felix the most about losing his memories is having forgotten how it feels like to be a child. How it feels like to have no whatsoever worry in the world other than the ice cream he’ll get to eat the next morning. To have a blind trust in a parent that will protect him and love him. Of course, not all children have the chance to have that freedom of mind, and although Felix doesn’t remember, it feels unbelievable that he had ever been carefree.

Felix is lonely. So utterly alone. And he can’t help wondering, why? Why is he alone? What course of actions has led him to this exact moment, standing alone in the middle of a festive crowd? He knows the problem comes from him, but it’s still unfair. Oh how much he hates himself.

By the time he’s back in the dorm, it’s already late unto the night. Again, like the previous nights, Minho isn’t in the room. He’s honestly glad; his roommate won’t see the mess that he is right now, and he doesn’t really want to talk.

He throws himself on his bed in the comfort of his pajama and falls asleep.

.

.

.

There are bodies at his feet. Dozens of people laying on the floor like a macabre scene in a painting. His naked feet are red, making a weird sound every time he takes a step forward. The metallic smell of blood and death fills the air around him, forcing him to let it inside his lungs. There’s a wave of nausea shaking his body, almost forcing him to bend over and gag, but he holds it in.

He did this. Felix is convinced. He did this. He was the one who killed them all.

But strangely enough, he’s relieved. Tears are streaming down his face, tickling his neck, but he is smiling. He looks down at his hands, sticky from dark red blood, like the rest of his whole body. Like every time he has this exact same nightmare, Felix is uncapable of taking control of his actions. He feels like a watcher inside his own mind, unable to do anything as the Felix in the dream smiles and start spinning on himself with his arms flying around him in the middle of the corpses.

They are dead. Gone. It’s over. It’s done. A laugh fills the room. His chest is shaking, making him realize that it’s his. Power runs through his veins, creating bold strings of fire that licks his arms. It feels so liberating, as if he had been deprived of air all his life. Someone is watching him in the corner of the room, but Felix keeps spinning, not threated a single second by the only living presence beside his.

Then, suddenly, he gains back control on his body. The once joyful and euphoric face merges unto one of utter terror. He stops turning around and takes off running down a hallway. There are bodies _everywhere_his eyes lands on; against the walls, soulless eyes staring accusingly at the opposite side. On the floor, face kissing the pavement. On furniture and anything able to hold a human dead weight on it. Some of their faces are burned and it’s only a dark abyss that his eyes meet. Almost all of them have limbs missing and a thin line in their neck, a necklace of blood spilling on their chests. They have a frozen expression of shocked surprise on their faces, as if they had been slaughtered while chatting about the latest episode of their favorite TV show. As if _he_had killed them when all they had wanted was to finish their day at work as soon as possible and go play with their kids back home. Felix trips on a body, and he’s sent flying on top of the corpses. Blood gain a soul of its own and start creeping on his skin to bit and choke him. The deads suddenly move and hover above him, grabbing his ankles and hands to trap him in place. _“Don’t worry Lixie the Pixie, it’s only going to sting a bit. This is for the advancement of science and our world don’t forget that. C’mon we’ll give you a cookie after this is done.” _They say in unison with a sickly sweet and cracked voice, tightening their grips on him as Felix furiously and desperately tries to free himself. _No no no please no not again no__NO_-

“FELIX!”

Felix startles awake, violently recoiling back as soon as his eyes are wide open. The wall behind him stops him from melting through it, forcing him to wrap his arms around himself and bring his legs against his chest in a vain pathetic attempt to protect himself. There are voices around him, but he can’t figure out if they are screaming or softly speaking. He tries to focus on the people besides him, and their position and how easily it would be for them to grab him and hold him still under their hold. His chest is heaving up and down, scattered breathing drowning his hearing. His vision is clouded by a thick blanket of fog, enabling him to see anything else other than distorted body shapes and movements that makes him terribly flinch at every move he can’t comprehend.

“Lix? Lixie it’s just me, It’s Song. It’s me you’re safe” a familiar soft voice whispers, slithering its way in his cotton brain. “-urn on the light” the same person says to someone he can’t see. Felix can’t see beyond one foot ahead of him.

The light turns on suddenly, mercilessly stabbing his eyes. His hand flies to his face to block the additional pain but it’s useless. The voices around him quietens, and soon it’s only his shattered breathing resonating in his head.

“Felix? Felix look at me.” The person he still can’t put a name on slowly and gently grabs his arm, lowering it down so he can stare at them. His vision has cleared itself after repetitive blinks, and he can now recognize Jisung sitting in front of him. He sadly smiles when their eyes meet, holding one of his hands. Felix’s breathing calms down a bit, only whizzing sounds still erupting from his chest. “Hey” he whips a strand of hair out of the younger’s eyes. “You’re safe now. I promise no one will ever hurt you again. You’re safe.”

Felix can’t comprehend the words Jisung is saying. He doesn’t understand him. His brain is still inside the laboratory, encircled by hundred of dead people. His own joyful laugh is still resonating in his ears. Loud and macabre. He can still feel the flames licking excitedly on top of his skin, like if his own body had generated them. His whole being burns. Waves of heat steam his body, as if smoke is trapped inside him. His skin starts itching and his trembling hands reaches to scratch his arms. It feels like thousands of ants are crawling under his skin. His vision turns dark and the strong overwhelming pain makes him want to scream. His back is aching and itching, his shoulder blades are either falling apart under his muscles or desperately trying to pop out of him. He can’t precisely locate the pain, as if he is in the harry potter world and has been thrown a crucio spell. Even his voice has given up on him, the only think he can do is pathetically whimper as he scratches his skin, trying to breathe through the burning feeling. It feels like he’s going to explode. As if a bomb is ticking inside him, a monster growing and growing until it’s too big and powerful to be trapped within Felix’s small body, making him burst unto tiny ashes like one of those comic cartoons. He doubles on the pain, a small scream leaving his mouth.

Felix has felt such agony before in his life. At least once every two weeks, the itching and burning shows up after one of his nightmares, getting stronger and more unbearable every time. Usually, if he isn’t able to hold his cries and screams in, his mom would wrap him in her arms and the pain would gradually fades away. As if it took his soul with it, it always leaves his body numb and lifeless, unable to even lift a finger. But his mom isn’t with him tonight, and the agony keep begging for more. He feels like he’s dying. He _is _dying. Never in his life has he been in so much _pain_. Why Is dying so painful? Why does life have to take everything from him even in the last tiny seconds of his existence?

A loud bleeding scream explodes out of his throat. His nails are dug on his sides, if not already bleeding, they will leave ugly bruises. Sobs create an earthquake on his body, making his back bend forward as it continues to burn and sting. As if something is desperately trying to tear his skin apart to finally be liberated. It hurts. It hurts beyond any words can describe. Beyond any vocabulary is able to express. It hurts. Someone ends his misery oh please anyone just kill him.

Suddenly, arms wrap around him, sneaking under his armpits to bring him closer. Felix doesn’t even have the strength to fight. His body falls unto the embrace of whoever has pulled him in, and his exhausted mind stupidly suggests that it might be his mom. Warmness, far different from the heat still burning his skin, slowly envelops his body. It’s like the flames inside his lungs are being sucked out of him. The pain slowly, very slowly leaves him, but his trembling gets worse. His chin is rested on top of a shoulder as the person gently swings him right and left, mumbling something he can’t make sense of. Fingers whip his eyes, and his vision clears to see Jisung sitting in front of him, tears running down his cheeks, eyes bloodshot. His lips are saying something, but he can’t hear it. He rests his hand on Felix’s forehead. His skin is cold and refreshing. Felix closes his eyes, making more tears spill. “Please” he murmurs, unknowing if anyone is able to even hear him. “Please it hurts make it stop” his voice turns unto a weak whimper, a returning sob shaking his back. “I can’t take it anymore please anyone”

Unable to open his eyes, his brain leaves him trapped in the darkness. The void is sucking his soul unto oblivion, no one around to call for help or to even meet eyes with. "Please Song, I _can't _continue to live.” His voice is panicking and begging as he turns on himself in the darkness. _“Please find me.” _

_. _

_. _

_. _

Jisung hadn’t felt it. He hadn’t felt Felix being in pain. Hadn’t felt his sorrow nor his burning tears. Nothing. Complete radio silence in his brain. It’s Changbin who made the first comment, the moment they stepped out of the elevator.

“It smells weird.” He had said, throwing a confused glare around him and making the rest of his teammate stop. “Like- Like pain and fear.” His face was contorted unto a grimace, eyebrows frowning.

Then, the scream had come barely a second later, as they came closer to their rooms. “NO”

Jisung would recognize that voice between millions. Back in the laboratory, when they started spending the night there, if it wasn’t his own nightmares, It was Felix’s who would resonates in the darkness of the room opposite his. His body took off before he had the mind to commend it to move. He felt like he was back in the tight long white hallways of the research institution, heart frantically beating in his ribcage, praying that he would be able to wake up Felix before any nurse or doctor reached him.

But he isn’t there anymore, and he’s violently reminded of that when he doesn’t feel his chest tighten nor does he see the horrific pictures behind his closed eyelids even when he stands in front of the open bedroom door. Because right, Lee Felix doesn’t remember him. The SoulLink has been broken for now five years, and Jisung is unable to tell exactly how his twin is feeling and what he dreamed of.

He finds Felix laying on his bed, kicking and thrashing in his sleep as heavy droplets of sweet drown his bedsheets. Jisung takes two big strides toward his bed, and vigorously shakes him awake. “FELIX!” he screams when there’s nothing else that seem to work.

Felix jumps awake, aggressively recoiling back as far away as possible from Jisung, until the wall behind him forces him to stop. His eyes are wide open, bloodshot as he frantically throws glances around him in panic. His breathing is uneven and loud in the room. Jisung is about to reach for his hand but he stops himself. “Lix? Lixie it’s just me, It’s Song. It’s me you’re safe.”

The nickname has left his lips without realizing it. His Felix used to call him that way almost all the time. Jisung adored making and writing songs, and his twin as his only listener and supporter, he had naturally picked up the name; from Jisung to Sung until it became Song. But this Felix doesn’t know Song. Jisung is a stranger to him. Such nickname wouldn’t calm him down, because Felix doesn’t remember. Doesn’t know. It’s selfish to want his Felix, the one who had suffered so much and still had the memory of all the atrocities they had done and been done to them to be here with him, but he can’t help it. Felix had decided to forget everything so he can keep living freely without the burden of his past, but now staring at him in such a state, he wonders if it was really worth it. After all, contrary to what Jisung had thought, Felix is still living in so much pain. And like back then, he is so powerless in front of his twin call for help.

Surprisingly, Felix does respond to the nickname. He calms down for a moment, his breathing easing as if to be able to listen. Noticing his trouble to see properly in the dark, Jisung turns his head around toward the switch light. Minho, Chan and Seungmin are standing in the room, keeping a safe distance. The door is closed, and the fae doesn’t have to verify to know that Hyunjin, Changbin and Jeongin are outside guarding the room; chasing any curious eyes that had been woken up by Felix’s nightmare. “Turn on the light” he asks no one in particular, turning his attention back to his twin when the light flickers on.

Felix brings an arm to protect his orbs. With the darkness now gone, Jisung has a better look on his face. He has dark bags under his eyes, his skin as pale as a ghost. He is shaking and sweat his pearling his skin. “Felix? Felix look at me.” Jisung gently grabs his arm and bring it down, intertwining his hands with Felix’s left one. Recognition flashes through his eyes as his whole body seems to halt in surprise. “Hey.” There’s a strand of hair falling over his teary frightened eyes and Jisung can’t help but reach and chase it away. “You’re safe now. I promise no one will ever hurt you again. You’re safe.” And Jisung means every single word. The people who used to hurt them are all dead. Forever gone. Felix has a family now by his side to protect him. He goes to an amazing university and pursues a stunning life career. He isn’t directly involved in the supernatural world anymore. He doesn’t do stupid missions like Jisung nor is he part of a supernatural secret agent company. Felix is safe. He has a better life, even if he still has nightmares and his cheerful smile hasn’t quiet comeback yet. But why is it so hard for Jisung to believe it? Doubt crawls in his chest and he doesn’t have the heart to admit that Felix might not be living as better of a life as Jisung had forced his brain unto believing all these past years spent apart.

“Felix?”

The boy doesn’t respond. His face merges unto one of utter pain, tears starting to coat his eyes like a heavy blanket of snow. His eyes get lost behind Jisung, staring unto nothingness. Panicked sobs shake his small frame, and it almost look like they are about to break him any moment. Heat suddenly starts radiating from him in big waves, as if he is a living heater. His skin takes a pinker shade like one does when they stay too long under the sun. Jisung has to pull back the hand that was still holding his, wincing from the burnt like pain. “He’s- He’s burning up.” He whispers looking back at Chan, Minho, and Seungmin. The older approaches with frowned worried eyebrows. He reaches a hand to touch Felix’s forehead but pulls it back almost immediately. “It’s like his skin has turned unto fire.” He whispers to himself when Felix start scratching his arms, his nails leaving behind them long strands of ugly red skin.

“Move out”

Jisung lifts his head to blink surprisingly at Seungmin. Chan had made way for him, steeping back closer to stand beside Minho. “I need to sit if I want to help him.” Seungmin says, fixing strong determined eyes unto his friend’s. Jisung recoils back the second Felix let out a scream, leaving him some place to sit. He’s scared, that much Han can tell from all the years they lived together. 

“Felix, I’m going to touch you.” Seungmin says, even if he knows that it’s pretty much useless. Felix’s unfocused eyes are still staring past them, sorrowful shattered breathless cries cascading off of him. The wizard doesn’t flinch when he rests his hands on the Fae’s arms. His face stays still and controlled. “I’m made of fire. I’m not affected by it.” He says, as if to distract everyone in the room. He observes Felix for a second more, and for a long moment, it’s only his whimpers filling the room. Then, carefully and gently, Seungmin slides his arms under his. “I’m going to hug you Felix. It’s going to be okey. Everything is going to be alright.”

Felix still doesn’t react to his voice, but when he gets pulled in the hug, his body stiffens. “Felix has repressed his powers for god knows how long. A magical being needs to let their magic out, to let it breath. Otherwise, it’ll make you feel like there’s an itch under your skin that you can’t scratch off.” He gently grabs Felix’s hands from where they were dug in his sides, making him let go. They eventually find their away around Seungmin, grabbing the back of his shirt instead unto a firm desperate grip. “Older supernatural have the capacity to spend long periods of time without using their powers because they are steady. But for young people like you, me and Felix, it would drive us mad. Our powers are still growing. For Felix I’m sure, it feels like there’s a bomb inside him waiting to explode.” He rubs his back, the Fae gradually relaxing. “I know that because I did it once or twice. Never to the point of being in as much pain as Felix is though.” Felix rests his chin on Seungmin’s shoulder as if he has heard his name. “What I’m doing right now through initiating this physical contact is slowly and gradually release his pent-up energy. It won’t solve anything on the long run, but it will help with the pain.”

He whispers, rubbing Felix’s back and releasing his powers at each stroke.

Jisung doesn’t know what to say. His mind is drowning with unanswered questions he is too scared to ask out load. No one would be able to answer his interrogations anyway, because he is supposed to be the one knowing Felix best. Yet, Jisung doesn’t know. He whips Felix’s tears, only noticing his own when it gets too blurry to see. “I’m so sorry Lixie. I’m so sorry.” He doesn’t really know what he’s apologizing for, but it feels like the only right words to say in this instant. How can he express all the guilt and storming emotions he’s feeling right now? Words never seem to be enough when pain glares at you. He lifts his hand and rest it atop his twin’s forehead. Being fae twins implies that their powers are identic. Yet, strangely enough, they couldn’t be more opposite. Using magic requires a source of energy to feed of off, just like how Wizards and Witches do. While Felix had always been more sensible to fire, it had been Ice for Jisung. Two opposite elements, but indeed two deadly ones. That’s why it hadn’t really come off as a surprise when Felix’s pent up magic had manifested unto heat only Seungmin who shared the same energy core could magically calm.

Jisung doesn’t really have to think about it. He reaches to the coldness sleeping in the middle of his chest, and like a thread, pulls at it toward his hand who’s resting against his twin’s forehead, hoping to bring in some comfort as small as it may be. It seems to work because Felix closes his eyes as one would after an exhaustingly stretched period of pain. “Please” he whispers barely above a breath. “Please it hurts make it stop” his voice is a weak whimper, and when a sob shakes his back, Jisung’s body imitates it. “I can’t take it anymore please anyone.”

Then, he whispers words Jisung had heard before. Words that had been spoken by a Felix on the top of a hill, in a dream that had pushed Jisung to search for his twin all around the world. A dream and a couple of words that had made Jisung beg Changbin to hack unto millions of personal citizen data in dozens of countries just to find the right Lee Felix. His Lee Felix. That had made him beg Chan to locate a mission in Australia so JYP would let them fly there. Any excuse just so he can make sure that the dream had only been a dream and not a call for help from his long lost fae twin. Words he replayed in his head every time he saw Felix’s unknowing face. Words that had _destroyed _him. "Please Song, I _can't _continue to live.”

Jisung’s heart stopped beating.

_“Please find me.” _

He stares wide eyed; his tears having stopped falling as if allowing the momentum of the shock to pass by before continuing their race down his crushed heart.

Seungmin gently lowers Felix back on his bed, the latter seemingly finally having fell asleep. “Minho, can you look out after him?” the wizard asks, pulling the covers over him. The siren probably responded but Jisung didn’t hear him. Seungmin turns his eyes toward him, and suddenly, he can’t take it anymore. As if stroke by a lightening, Jisung abruptly stands up. Chan and Seungmin call his name, quickly followed by Changbin when he opens the door and almost runs down the hall, but he doesn’t spare them a glance. He’s suffocating under all his unanswered questions. How is he supposed to answer theirs?

“Jisung, Jisung!” Seungmin calls after him, obviously doing his best not to scream. He enters Jisung’s and Hyunjin’s shared bedroom after him; Chan, Changbin, Hyunjin and Jeongin trailing after them. “You can’t just run away like this! You need to explain to us what that was just now!”

“Seungmin-” Chan tries but the younger cuts him off. “No hyung you don’t understand! That could have killed him! Restraining powers can literally give you a heart attack.” Seungmin hisses. Jisung violently flinches at the image of his twin dead lifeless body. He turns his back to them, facing the window. He blinks back tears, palms pressed against his eyes in a vain hope to stop the headache. “You wouldn’t understand that Chan Hyung because creatures like vampires and werewolves don’t use magic.” Seungmin says with a softer tone. “Jisung, please, I need to know how dangerous this is.” He takes a step forward. “What was option 2 that Felix choose?”

Jisung lets the silence drag for an instant before he turns around, opening his arms as if presenting a piece of theatre. “Memory loss.” He says with a sad laugh in his tone, as if it wasn’t obvious enough. “That much everyone can tell I guess.” His eyes hold so much pain despite the forced smile on his face that no one dare say a word. “We were both going to be exiled from the fairy real with a black wing, but from there, they gave us two choices; either go suffer in an institute for criminal minors, or simply erase your memories of the past five years spent in the research institute. As simple as that. I think everyone know which one we each choose.”

“But- why? Why would they just give you the option to forget? Wouldn’t that be too… easy?” Seungmin’s voice is soft and careful. Jisung knows that he wants so badly to understand without hurting him, but it’s costs him too much energy that he’s willing to give right now. Still, he tries to explain. “Because they wanted the whole case to be closed and sent to oblivion. The fact that they were using two children as laboratory rats was a government secret, but we blew that up by sending the building to Hades. They wanted us gone and forgotten so they gave us the opportunity to do just that; forget every horrendous and inhuman thing that had been done to us.”

There was a silence. Jisung sits on his bed, eyes staring at his feet. He’s so damn exhausted.

“But you didn’t take that opportunity.”

Jisung lifts his eyes to Seungmin’s. “No.” He silently challenges him to ask why, but the other boy doesn’t cross that line. He asks something else instead, “How much did Felix forget?”

“It was supposed to be only five years. From 10 to 15, the period of time we were tested on.” He shakes his head. “But it didn’t go as planned. Felix was too young. Too traumatized. Too powerful.” Tears brims his vision, but he chases them away, refusing to be weak. “He forgot about me. He forgot that he’s a fairy. He forgot everything related to the supernatural world. It was as if he was empty, born anew.” Jisung closes his eyes, and behind his eyelids, appears Felix’s eyes; full with so much words and feelings that would never be given the chance to be expressed as his orbs suddenly turns empty. Almost dead. Nothing. A lifetime worth of pain and souvenir erased as easily as one would with a fly. At that instant, he had at the same time been so jealous and so terribly frightened. His whole life could be whipped as easily as that.

“Wait so he-” Seungmin is frowning, trying hard to make sense of what the other had just confessed. “He doesn’t know that he’s a fae? He hasn’t opened his wings in _five __years_?” There’s a scoff of disbelief that lifts Jisung’s head. “Jisung, do you have any idea of how dangerous that is?” The wizard obviously tries to be nice on this, but it just sounds like he’s trying to explain something really obvious to a five-year-old. “How could you- How could you have not told him?”

Jisung abruptly stands up, making everyone take a step back from surprise. “Do you think I had any say in this?” He points his finger to his chest, eyebrows frowned and a step closer to Seungmin who’s face loses some colors. “We were EXILED Seungmin. We were TORN APART. I COULDN’T BE _THERE _FOR HIM.” He shakes his head, tears making him see double. “I wasn’t _allowed _too.” He exhales a shaky breath. “I had lost _everything_.” A lonely tear rolls down his cheek. “My twin was gone. My mom had died from overdose in a rat rotten apartment on the fifth floor of a building built beside an Ikea with a ‘_Live Better Live Longer’ _sign.” His voice breaks, and it falls at his feet. His throat is obstructed, as if he is either drowning or just ate a sour candy. Chan makes himself a path between the standing figures of his friends, as if they are nothing but mannequins, and wraps him unto a hug Jisung can’t respond too. He keeps on staring at Seungmin who’s eyes are bloodshot. He isn’t allowed to be crying. Why is he crying? “I was left with only my trauma, nightmares and tattooed scars. Felix was living god knows where, with both parental figures and two lovely sisters.” Jisung doesn’t know why his tone had picked up in anger. It isn’t Felix fault. Yet, in the first years of his doom, he couldn’t help blaming him for having decided to forget everything. To leave him just like that. To be the only one who remembers and bear the big ugly monster on his back. “I thought his mom would tell him ok? I thought she would do the basic thing as tell him that he’s a Fae and not be stupid enough to leave him in the dark. I just- I-”

“Hey, that’s enough” Chan slightly pulls back. “You did enough okey? You’ve done amazing and I’m always so proud of you.”

Jisung blinks at him, chasing the tears away. He has half the mind to remember that Changbin and Chan must be feeling everything he’s going through right now and for the split of a second, he wonders how they hadn’t crumbled yet. He pulls away from the older boy, suddenly feeling suffocated and trapped. “Can you- Can you all leave? I just want to sleep.”

“Jisung I’m so sorr-”

“No I’m fine really-” he cuts Seungmin’s words, casting him what he hoped enough of a convincing smile. “I’m not angry just tired please just leave.” Jisung turns his back on them, running his fingers in his hair. There’s shuffling of feet before the door gently closes shut.

When he turns around, it’s only Hyunjin standing in the middle of the room.

There’s a small awkward silence before the vampire opens his arms. Jisung doesn’t even have to think before he engulfs himself in the arms that securely wraps themselves around him. His body shakes as he tries to hold the sobs in.

“You’re so strong Han Jisung.” Hyunjin whispers as he strokes his hair. “So damn strong.” He sighs.

.

.

.

When Felix finally manages to find the strength to lift his eyelids open, it’s already past 5pm and the sun is setting.

He grunts loudly, using his trembling muscles to push himself up. He feels like shit. Probably look like one as well. It almost feels like there’s someone inside his head hammering some really resistant and stubborn piece of metal. He stinks, his bedsheets are still wet from the previous night’s sweat, and he just really feel awful. It’s bad enough that he had an attack in the dorms, but it is worse knowing that his friends had seen and heard everything.

Felix grunts again, hiding his face in his hands. If they had been distancing themselves from him before, he’s convinced they won’t ever show up in front of him again. It’s so embarrassing that if the ground bellow his feet opens up, he will jump inside it to hide.

Minho isn’t in the room, obviously, and Felix is honestly glad. He won’t have to face him nor explain just yet. He stands up on shaking legs, and tear his sheets and pillows, leaving his bed naked. He then throws them in the laundry box and proceed to put new ones on. He pulls random clothes out of his closet, a towel, and get on his way to go take a shower.

There’s no one on the shower cabinets, as expected of the hour. Students usually showers in the morning or right before bed, so the water is still hot. It eases Felix’s sour muscles, washing off the tension and stress. He doesn’t quite remember what happened last night, besides the obvious monstrous pain of course. He recalls Jisung’s crying face, and someone giving him a hug. Everything is just a blur of itching skin and burning heat. He doesn’t really want to question how he doesn’t feel the slightest form of pain in this instant, he’ll push his luck till the end.

Back in his room, Minho is still nowhere to be seen, so is the rest. Before wasting a second, he grabs his phone and wallet, and almost run out of the building. The sun is now gone, a darkened sky welcomes him instead. The fresh breeze of the night tickles his neck, making him shiver. He takes a deep breath in, allowing more cold air to enter his lungs. It’s weird and hard to explain, but he always had found some comfort in the way his body slightly trembles under the cold, the way it sips in his bones like a splash of freezing water. The only coldness he can’t bear is the one in his heart. That’s something he can’t wrap in a blanket or drink a hot chocolate to ease.

Felix sighs, pushing the thoughts away. He pulls out his phone and tap on a name. “Hyunsuk? So that dinner you promised?”

Hyunsuk meets up with him 15 minutes later, in one of their favorite fast food. Luckily, there’s still a free table beside the window, so that’s where they settle. They order a pizza, but neither of them really touches it. The atmosphere is appeasing. People are chatting with their friends or family, an easy lighthearted laugh leaving their lips. The only frown appearing on their faces is when they get to the important part of their story, aggrieving their expression to give more impact to the course of action they are so excitedly telling. The servers are running left and right, bringing out of the kitchens hot appealing food. The air is stiff and packed with the smell of fresh fries and hamburgers. The utensils are softly singing behind the noises, asking for a more careful and attentive ear to hear them.

“You look like shit.”

Felix lifts his eyes toward his long-time friend, a scoff pulling the side of his lips unto a smirk. “Thank you I take that as a compliment.”

Hyunsuk waves a dismissive hand between them, offering an unapologetic smile. “Sorry mate.”

“No you’re right. I had a tough night.” A shrug, escaping eyes.

“Nightmares?”

Felix nods. He observes his friend, really look at him for the first time of the night. He doesn’t look that great either. His eyes are bloodshot, and his awfully pale skin is decorated with big darkened bags. “Don’t give me that look. I know I look awful as well.” He runs a hand in his green hair. “There have been some bugs annoying me lately.”

“Problem with the law?” Felix jokingly asks, though Hyunsuk doesn’t deny it. “Kind of” he says vaguely.

Felix doesn’t say anything, leaving him the chance to say more if he wishes too, which he does after a while. “It’s just- I don’t understand. I’m just doing my best to survive like everyone else, I’m not directly harming anyone, why are they suddenly on my ass?” Felix doesn’t like the sound of _‘not directly harming anyone’. _He frowns his eyebrows, waiting and hoping for more explanations that never come. There’s a tense silence filled with the chatters of plates and people around them. Finally, Hyunsuk stands up, a resigned smile on his face. “Shall we go? I’m not hungry anymore.”

Felix nods and follows after him. He pays for the pizza that stays untouched on the table, like a piece of artefact forgotten by troubled thoughts. It’s a starless night, and the cold slither’s deeper unto Felix’s heart. He doesn’t find comfort in the tearing wind. He wants to be home and rest his head on Jisung’s or Seungmin’s laps as Chan points each star above their heads, giving them names that probably aren’t theirs. He doesn’t know when exactly they started being his home, but somehow it happened in the corner of Jeongin’s smile and at the sound of Hyunjin’s and Changbin’s loud obnoxious laughers. It’s stupid they’ve known each other for only a month but Felix always had a weak trustful heart. He doesn’t really dare to tell Hyunsuk that he just wants to go back to his dorm because of how troubled he looks. So he stays silent, walking by his side deeper and deeper unto the city. He doesn’t know where he is taking him, maybe he’s not and it’s just mindless walking, but it gets darker and more deserted. They eventually stop in a park. The lights had been turned off long ago to chase any child who didn’t want to give up on playing despite the late hour. 

Hyunsuk climbs on a stage who used to hold parties during the hot careless time of summer days. Felix follows after him, hands hidden in his pockets, a forced smirk on his lips. His friend opens his arms wide in front of the ghost audience who cheers at him with the whistling wind. “Have you ever wanted to be famous? Someone people would love more than themselves?”

Felix presses his back at the opposite end of the stage, eyes fixed on Hyunsuk dancing to a mute music in front of him. He shrugs. “Kind of. We are in a music program; I think everyone in this field dream of one day producing music and performances that would blow people’s minds. Make them feel something.” 

“Feel something hmm?” Hyunsuk says thoughtful. His smile drops and he stop moving, turning so he can face the other, his head lowered to the ground. “I wish I could feel something Felix, but all I can feel is _pain_.” He lifts his eyes, making Felix abruptly flinch back. They are red. Two sparkling orbs of ruby. “My body is literally rotting and falling apart from the inside Felix. I don’t have the choice. I wasn’t given the choice to become this _monster_. I’m just doing what I need to do to survive. Aren’t we all just doing that?”

Felix tries to take a step back but the wall behind him holds him still. Hyunsuk is at hand reach. There are red veins under his eyes painting his pale skin from underneath. His hand is shaking from where it’s pressed against his chest, his whole face drowning in despair, begging to be understood. But Felix doesn’t understand. He doesn’t have a single idea of what his friend is so angry and sad about. Panic raise in his chest, his body ordering him to flee.

“Hyunsuk I don’t understand-”

The boy shakes his head. “You don’t have too.”

Suddenly, in one swift movement, he wraps his right fingers around Felix’s throat. He doesn’t squeeze, but he holds his grip firm. He doesn’t need too; Felix has stopped breathing. His hands are frozen by his side, fallen lifelessly as If they had never been taught how to move.

“I tried to keep you out of this Lix, I really did. But those assholes _care_about you.” He leans forward, casting his breath on Felix’s face. “I need to hit in the place that will affect them the most. They almost jumped at my neck in the locker room that day. If they hadn’t come in my way, I would have done it back then.”

As if struck by a lightening, Felix finally starts thrashing around. Hyunsuk has never showed this much strength before, but strangely today, he’s as firm as a wall. “-et off. GET OFF THIS IS NOT FUNNY!” The grip around his neck tightens, making Felix’s hands immediately fly to his neck to try to get the hand off.

“I always wanted to taste the most delicious blood on earth.” Two pointed fangs appear under Hyunsuk’s bottom lip. “I don’t know how Bang Chan and the Hwang twins can hold back with two Fae right under their nose. I barely survived with one.”

Felix doesn’t have the time to question what he’s talking about. Hyunsuk lunged toward his neck, his fangs piercing and tearing skin apart like two knives.

A scream escapes Felix’s lips, scratching his throat with bleeding panic and pain. He tries to kick the body off of him but strangely enough, his energy is slipping out of his body like the blood that’s making its way down his neck to his chest. The fangs settle deeper, expulsing more blood out. There’s a horrendous sound of gulping and swallowing, the thought that it’s _his blood _that his _friend _is drinking with such eager appetite makes Felix’s eyes tear up in disgust.

His arms tumble by his side, and he hates himself for it. He hates the pathetic whimpers and sobs that leaves his throat to accompany the sound of Hyunsuk having a fest with his blood. He hates the way the grip on his neck is the only thing keeping him standing. He hates the tears that blind him to the dark world around him. He hates that he gets used to the pain, that his eyelids heave as if ready to go sleep. He hates how fast he gave up. He hates how disgusted in himself he feels. He hates how alike to a doll he is. He hates himself for not having noticed, for bringing himself to a situation like this. He hates that he didn’t listen to Jisung. He despises how slow eternity is, until it abruptly comes to a stop when the body suddenly leaves his.

There’s the sound of someone screaming and a fist breaking bones, but Felix doesn’t really acknowledge it. His body crumbles to the ground like a dead weight. His eyes are soulless, staring without seeing what’s in front of him. He hears his heart frantically pulsing blood in his neck, but he doesn’t hear his breathing. It’s as if the world has been paused.

The first thing he feels is a thin thread being unknotted from his brain. Slipping like a snake slithering away.

Then, everything falls at him at once.

Felix feels the moment his heart stop beating. He doesn’t know if it started its furious course again; he doesn’t feel it. It’s as if someone has punched him in the stomach, and although he wants to roll over and gag for air, he’s unable to even move an eyelash.

Remembering isn’t like in the movies. Memories doesn’t come at him slowly, bit by bit. They don’t play behind his eyelids like a film. No. Remembering is like waking up. It’s a brute come back to reality. Remembering is like waking up in room you don’t recall sleeping in, before the events of the previous night come stumbling down in the front of your mind. Remembering is like someone had grabbed his hair and pulled him out unto a storming sea. Remembering feels like staring at a mirror and meeting the laughing Felix of his nightmares. Remembering is a realization_. ‘Ah. So That’s what happened.’ _To Felix, remembering is finally putting a face to all the misery and sorrow that had slaughtered his life for the past five years, because the mind can forget, but the body never will.

Felix feels like he found himself again. He’s ugly, horrific and his hands are tainted red, but it’s him. A him he thought he had lost forever. It doesn’t come off as a surprise. It’s like the world is finally materializing around him.

It’s a feeling he can’t put a name on. It’s like waking up in a new body. Pain doesn’t show the tip of its claws. Only a defeated realization follows.

His vision comes back to him slowly. His iris going back unto focus like the eye of a camera. A boy is sitting in front of him. Face deformed by horror. Felix is putting a new set of eyes on him, as if seeing him for the first time in years, because in a way, he is. 

Felix breathes out, “Song”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow okey AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH FELIX REMEMBERSSSS   
Bet you didn't expect that hehe 
> 
> This chapter is truly so heavy. There's so much happening, so much pain and revelations. 
> 
> Also, PLOT TWIST! I tried hinting about Hyunsuk being weird in that one chapter when they were in the locker room but I don't know if anyone suspected him or noticed. I also hinted at it in the beginning of this chapter when Jisung just started hating him.
> 
> I honestly don't know how to feel about this chapter, I did my best to try evolve more my descriptions bc this chapter is really heavily focused on emotions and feelings. I feel like i did a decent job but I also feel like I messed up so I don't know. 
> 
> I hope you guys liked this chapter, I know you still have plenty of questions but thank you for bearing with me! Maybe I can answer some of your interrogations without spoiling so don't hesitate to ask in the comments if anything is unclear! 
> 
> As always thank you for reading and you guys comments are so much appreciated.
> 
> We also reached 4K hits so THANK YOU SO MUCH. 
> 
> See ya~~


	23. Hold My Hand To Let You Go

There are different kinds of pain. 

The first pain we recognize as a child is the physical one. When one would scratch a knee while running behind a ball or when a baby falls off a couch because their guardian hasn’t been attentive enough. When the pain of hunger twist one’s stomach or when sore limbs makes it hard to move.

Then, there’s the sickness pain. It can be as passer-by as a coat or a scarf forgotten back home on a specially freezing day or as life threatening as a cancer destroying one’s body and the constant trips to the emergency rooms.

There’s the pain of loneliness. The one who dry out a heart until it makes desert shy away in comparison. When all classmates already picked a partner and one is left alone, wishing the teacher had just chosen the teams themselves. When three friends are walking on a tight pavement and one is forgotten in the back alone. When Hwang Hyunjin cried in front of his adoptive brother’s room; too shy to knock but too lonely to leave. When Bang Chan the said brother was forced to move to a new country with strangers after his parents’ death. When Yang Jeongin’s soul got cursed and locked in a manor in the middle of a forest. When Seo Changbin stayed in that hut miles away from his pack. When Lee Minho left home and everything he ever knew. When Kim Seungmin grew up in that special orphanage. When Han Jisung got exiled. And even when Lee Felix was surrounded with people.

There’s the pain of regret. Of shame. Embarrassment. Wishing so badly that things could be different, that different choices could have been made, different outcomes.

There’s the pain that comes with not being wanted, loved or even just cared for. Loving oneself becomes difficult, feels unreachable. Recognition, attention and love are essential to any breathing being on earth; when that lacks within someone, it lets an open door to pain.

There’s the phantom pain that is fear. The fear of loneliness. The fear of not being enough, of regretting, of falling, of failure. Fear cripples the mind and body. It poisons one’s thoughts and mind. It freezes the muscles and limbs. Fear is a sleep paralysis demon.

Felix had felt almost all those types of pain at least once in his life. Though now, in this exact moment, he feels nothing. He is numb. Free of that oh so familiar friend. Remembering brought a feeling within him that he never suspected he would feel. It brought him acceptance. Acceptance of the person he is. Of what he had done. Of the choices that lead him to this hospital bed. Felix does regret. He does wish thinks could have been different. That he would have done things differently. Regrets after all is the result of realizing one’s mistake and growing from them. No, Felix still have regrets, but he has accepted them. Accepted the fact that he made terrible mistakes and choices, and that now he can hope to make a step forward to correct them.

Felix sighs in exhaustion. He just wants to fall asleep and feel _safe_, just like he had that day in the park with the others. Now, it feels like ages ago.

A nurse enters the room then, a smile plastered on his lips. “I see that you are awake.” Felix doesn’t answer. He follows the man with his eyes as he verifies the monitors beside his bed and the blood being transferred unto his arm. The Australian knows who that blood belongs too, but he still asks. “Whose blood is it?”

“It’s your Fae twin’s. We are extremely lucky that you two have similar blood type that allows him to give you his blood but also that your magic is related. Without him, you wouldn’t have been able to recover this fast, you should thank him.” The nurse says without looking at him.

Felix nods to himself. He is slightly taken aback by the fact that the man knows that he is a Fae, but it isn’t that surprising. Surely supernatural beings have their own specialized medical staff in each hospital. “When can I leave?”

“You have to speak with the doctor first, but I don’t think it’s necessary to hold you here any longer.” He stops what he’s been doing and meet the younger’s eyes. “Do you have any more questions?”

“Can I see Han Jisung?”

The nurse nods on his way to leave. “Sure, let me call him.”

Felix is left alone in the room. It’s rather small, barely enough place to hold the hospital bed. The door is to his right, and to his left is a small window. He swings his legs over the bed, as if about to stand up but not making the action too. His body is now facing the window and his back the door. Outside, it’s raining. Raindrops are drumming against the glass and anything that comes its way, as if washing the sins fogging the air. He doesn’t turn his head when the door softly opens and closes behind someone, nor is he surprised when his eyes meet Chan’s. Jisung isn’t ready to see him just yet, that much he had expected.

“Hi” Felix murmurs, as if not to disturb the appeasing silence. Chan offers him a polite shy smile, the one reserved for strangers or friends that aren’t close enough. It saddens the younger, but again, he had expected it. After all, Felix isn’t the same person Chan had met a month ago.

“Hi” he says with the same tone. It’s appeasing. Comfortable. Felix can fall asleep with Chan’s presence in a second.

“He didn’t want to see me, did he?” He tries to hide the sadness from his voice, but he is pretty sure the older can read him like an open book.

“It’s not like that.” Chan doesn’t even try to defend Jisung more than that, and it makes a smile appear on Felix’s lips. “You don’t have to lie to me. I know.” There’s no bite to his voice, just resilience.

Chan doesn’t say anything for a while. Felix can feel his eyes on him as he continues to watch the raindrops racing down the window glass. “The SoulLink?”

Felix nods. The wind has picked up, bending the tree branches in strange angles. “Yeah, it came back with the memories.” He turns his head to the opposite wall, fixating the closed door with glaring eyes. “I can feel him pacing in the hallway, millions of thoughts exploding in his mind like fireworks. He is scared.”

“Scared of what?” Under Felix watchful eyes, Chan stutters. “I mean- I share a SoulLink with Hanni too but I’m not a Fae. I can feel his fear, but I can’t tell _why_”

For the first time in his life, Felix feels petty for someone other than himself or Jisung. Chan looks so genuinely confused and concerned, that the younger boy can’t even began to think of leaving him clueless like this. Chan is a leader. He feels like he need to be in control and able to understand and help his teammate. Felix doesn’t want to share these types of emotions with him, he’s a stranger after all, but Jisung trusts the older; he had seen the way his twin listens and look up to him. “He is scared of mainly two things; he isn’t feeling anything in the SoulLink through me, and he is terrified that I will blame him for recovering my memories.”

“Will you?” Chan meets his eyes, almost accusing. Challenging. “Blame him that is.”

Felix stares at Chan for a long second before he gently shakes his head. “No” he looks away, back to the window. A woman in a red coat is running with her dog, rain and wind pulling them backward. The leader doesn’t ask more, he knows it’s a conversation that is not meant to be spoken with him.

“Then for the SoulLink. Why can’t he feel anything while you can?”

“Because I’m not feeling anything.” Felix says, as if trying to explain something really obvious to a child. He looks up at Chan. “I have accepted my regrets. I’m not scared. Not sad. Not guilty. Not angry. Not in pain. Not happy. I’m just-” he scoffs a laugh as a single tear rolls down his cheek. “Numb.” He whips the tear away and stare at his finger as if it holds an object of mystery. “I don’t even feel this tear.”

Chan approaches Felix slowly, and when the younger doesn’t protest, he sits by his side on the hospital bed. “Can I ask you something?” Felix asks, waiting for Chan’s nod before he continues. “How did I retrieve my memories? Why so suddenly?”

There’s sadness in the leader’s eyes. Petty. Compassion. Empathy. He proceeds to talk softly as if scared to hurt him. “When he bit you, he injected his venom in your blood.” He waits for a reaction that doesn’t come; Felix’s face is blank. “Vampire venom is extremely powerful. It breaks any and every barrier in the victim’s body; it destroys your will to fight, drain you from all your energy, turns your muscles unto jelly.”

Felix nods. He remembers how he had felt. So utterly helpless and weak. A rabbit with its small neck in the mouth of a wolf. He had stopped fighting, resigned himself to the pain and fear. A rag doll, that’s what he had been, crumbling to the ground as soon as the grip of the vampire had left. “And so?”

“So the venom met the barrier that was placed in your brain around your memories. And it took it down.”

There’s a silence. It’s not tense, not comfortable. Rather empty. “What about Hyunsuk? What will happen to him?” He hates how he’s still worried for him. Hates that he doesn’t blame or hate him as much as he should. In a way, Hyunsuk is also a victim. He hadn’t asked to be a vampire. Probably didn’t have anyone to guide him and tell him how to take care of his hunger. It doesn’t excuse his choices though, and Felix knows that. “He was handed to the authorities responsible for vampires. He didn’t take anyone’s life, only bite in order to feed. They will most probably maintain him in a detention center until he has learned how to control his vampirism and is not deemed a danger anymore.” 

Felix nods. “Thank you” he finally says after a while. “For saving me, Thank you.” His eyes meet Chan’s honey ones. The leader grabs Felix hand and squeeze it. “Let me present myself properly; my name is Bang Christopher Chan, vampire working under JYP, a secret agent governmental company.”

Felix tiredly chuckles. “I’m Lee Felix Yongbok. Faery.”

“I don’t know what you’re planning on doing now Lee Felix Yongbok the fae, but whatever you choose, know that you will always have a place within us.” Chan stands up, already taking a few steps back. “If the authorities life interest you of course.” The words, as few as they are, lifts a weight off Felix’s shoulders. Is this how it feels like to be accepted? To have a place where he belongs? Does _he_belong with Chan’s team?

The younger nods, then breathes out a laugh. “Would you call Jisung for me? Tell him that if he doesn’t step unto this room, I’m going to pinch his cheeks until they become edible tomatoes.”

Chan smiles and without another word, leaves the room.

Felix takes advantage of the free alone time to stretch his legs. He still feels weak, although way better than last night. Still, he just wants to fall back asleep somewhere safe; on Jisung’s lap or in his shared room with Minho. A part of his brain tells him that he won’t ever get to enjoy the comfort of that room for another night, and his instinct are never wrong. Sighing, he sits on the edge of the window, his eyes fixed on the door directly facing him.

The door opens a couple of minutes later. Felix abruptly lifts his eyes toward it. Han Jisung is standing in front of him like he had a month ago. Just like back then, he has a shaky smile on his lips, eyes scared, uncertain and shy. He is the same man, yet, oh so different. “Hi” he says with a tearful voice, arms hidden behind his back.

Felix doesn’t think of his next movements. He stands up, and in two steps, lets himself fall in his twin’s arms. It’s as if the hole in his chest has finally been filled. Jisung doesn’t respond to the hug. He stays there, arms unmoving by his side. When the first sob breaks out of his chest, Felix tightens his hold on him. His back is shaking as tears cascades on his cheeks and unto the younger’s shoulder. Then, his arms gently wrap around Felix, as if scared to break him, terrified that any wrong or abrupt move will make the freckled fae disappear. That it’s all nothing but a delusional dream. His hands cling for dear life unto his hospital robe, sobbing endlessly. “I-I missed you” he whimpers, engulfing his face in his shoulder. “I missed you _so __much_.”

“I know” Felix croaks, petting his head. “I know.”

He had missed Jisung, he only now realizes, but telling him this wouldn’t be fair to his twin. Felix had missed Jisung unconsciously. His heart had missed him in the way he would turn to tell something really exciting only to find no one by his side. In the way he would buy two americanos without knowing why. In the way he constantly felt empty. He had missed him because his body and heart had been used to his presence, to turn around and find Han Jisung by their sides. His brain however hadn’t known. Hadn’t remembered. But Jisung had. Jisung had kept every single memory of Felix. He had missed him knowing of what and who is missing. Of what had been lost and so unfairly torn from him.

“I’m sorry I- I’m so sorry” Jisung takes a step back, whipping his tears. “I shouldn’t have come. You didn’t want to retrieve your memories and I- It’s because of me If I hadn’t come-”

“I would have still remembered.” They stare unto each other for a second before Felix sighs and sits back on his bed. “Listen, Hyunsuk was my friend before you even came. He would have bitten me with or without you. I probably wouldn’t have even survived.”

Jisung flinches. He then proceeds to shake his head. “He attacked you because he got annoyed at us chasing him. He knew that we care about you.”

“He still would have done it. If not Hyunsuk, then my own magic would have eaten me alive from the inside.” He stares up at his twin who doesn’t say anything. He offers a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. “You’ve seen my state Song. Do you really think you’ve done me any harm? You _freed_me.” Jisung sits by Felix side. His simple presence gives Felix enough courage to continue. “Forgetting did not erase all the sorrow we’ve been through. It helped, for sure, but my body still remembered. Suffering without having a single clue as to why had been _killing_me.” He smiles at Jisung. “My memories, I will welcome them as a gift.”

At the wide surprised eyes that responds to him, Felix chuckles. “What? You had expected me to freak out?”

“A bit? How can you not?” Jisung watches as Felix shrugs, staring down at his feet. “If you would have told me everything when I was still amnesic, I would have taken you for a mad man. But I remember now Song, no one is telling me something new. What is there to be surprised about?”

There’s a short silence, a slightly tense one.

“Why are you here?” Felix musters the courage to ask. He can feel the way Jisung’s heart drop. “Don’t tell me it’s because of the vampire. I don’t believe you and me meeting was a coincidence.”

“You’re going to think I’m crazy.”

Felix scoffs, making Jisung’s head lift up. “I already think that you’re crazy Han-ah.” Seeing the sad anxious frown on his face, he tries again more gently. “You know I would believe anything you say.”

Han sighs, not meeting his eyes. “I had a dream.” He bits the inside of his lower lip, trying to collect the right words. “It was about _that _day. At first, everything was the same as what had really happened, expect one thing. Do you remember what you told me at the top of the hill?” he examines Felix’s face who stays carefully blank. He nods. “I was scared of our combined powers. I asked you not to meet again.”

“That’s not what you said in my dream. You asked me the opposite; to find you because you couldn’t keep living.” Felix doesn’t say anything and Jisung is too scared to look at him, so he keeps talking frantically. “I was so scared; you know Faeries never have baseless dreams. I just- I had to find you and make sure you were alright.” He shakes his head, as if talking to himself. “None of this should have happened. I was supposed to just be a passer-by in your life, but I flipped everything over.”

“It needed to be flipped over.” When Jisung turns his head, Felix is already staring at him. “You saw it with your own eyes, how my life is. I was kicked out of my house because I was deemed a danger to my stepfamily. My magic was slowly killing me. My only friend tried to eat me and partially succeeded. If you hadn’t come, I would either still be laying on the floor without a drop of blood in my body or I would have had a heart attack from restraining my magic.” He reaches forward and whip a tear from his twin’s eyes. His own are dry. “Maybe my inner self sent you a call for help. Maybe it was the soul spirit we share. Whatever it was, thank you for finding me.” 

Jisung sniffles, blinking repeatedly to chase the threatening tears away. Felix laughs at him, patting his back. “You are still a cry baby, aren’t you?”

“Shut up” the one-day older boy grumbles.

There’s another silence. There are so many things the two boys would like to ask each other. So many stories to share. Yet, 5 years of gap is intimidating to approach and try to fill.

“What are you going to do now that you finished your mission? You can’t use it as an excuse anymore to stay here.” Felix whispers staring down at his feet. “Isn’t that what happened? You lied to whoever you’re working with telling them that the only reason of your presence in Australia is the rogue vampire?”

Jisung doesn’t say anything and that’s enough of an answer for his twin who sighs. “When are you leaving?”

Felix tries to hold his stare, but he can’t help the way his heart painfully drops when the single word is pronounced; “Tonight.” It has been murmured, but it feels like Han had screamed it at the top of his lungs. “You were right you know; we had been trying to distance ourselves form you.” He glares at the floor. “At first, it was because we started to suspect him. We were scared that he will attack you while trying to hurt us. Which he ended up doing.”

The Australian nods. It does make sense now that he thinks about it. The whispers behind his back, the running eyes, coming back to the dorms very late at night, the missed class, the constant frown on their faces, that time Minho and Jeongin had appeared in the locker room when Hyunsuk had gotten them lost on purpose. It’s obvious now, that they must have been chasing his scent or doing their rounds. Not only the seven boys, but the five girls as well.

“Then, it was because I didn’t want you to get too attached to us. We would be disappearing as fast as we appeared in your life. I didn’t want it to affect you.”

Felix scoffs sadly. “It’s too late now isn’t it?”

To his surprise, Jisung shakes his head. “Now everything is different. You _remember_.” He offers him a smile they both had forced on their faces so many times before. Hungry desperate eyes that are scared of forgetting. Of the other being taken away so abruptly. “What is going to happen to us?” Felix asks the same question he had asked him years ago, atop of that hill. Everything seems to revolve around that day now.

“I’m not leaving you again Lix. I don’t care what you ask of me this time. I’m not leaving you.”

Tears run down his cheeks, and his pain reverberate in Felix’s chest so strongly that twins tears appears on his own face.

“I can’t fly anymore Lixie. I can’t do anything other than teleport a short ridiculous distance and feel flowers around me. We can’t make anything blow up this time even if we wanted too. There’s no danger of us being together.” His voice is desperate, as if he’s begging Felix. “Please, don’t ask me to leave you. _Please_.”

Felix grabs his hand. He smiles through his blurred vision, shaking his head. “No, don’t leave _me._” A sob racks his throat. Everything falls on top of his head, making his emotions crumble and crawl. “I’m so tired of being in pain. I’m so tired of constantly being lonely. I just want to let everything _go_.” Jisung stands up, pulling the younger’s head against his chest. “Take me with you. Please don’t leave me here. Don’t leave me.” Felix cries, clenching his fingers in his twin’s shirt.

“I won’t” Jisung whispers in his hair, droplet of his tears falling on top of the Felix’s hair. “Never again.”

\---

“Are you ready?”

Felix closes his luggage, pushing himself up.

IN is standing by the door, a kind smile on his lips. There’s a blue suitcase standing beside him.

“Yeah,” The Australian nods to himself. “Yeah almost.”

Before either of them has the chance to say anything, Hyunjin comes running in the room. “I’m not here" he whispers in a rushed tone, throwing himself under Felix’s bed. “Keep talking you never saw me."

Jeongin raises an eyebrow, crossing his arms against his chest as he glares at the vampire under the bed. “What have you done to Minho Hyung this time?”

“I didn’t know that he would actually believe me and eat that toothpaste! How would have I known?” Hyunjin whispers back heatedly. He closes his mouth shut when he hears footsteps walking down the hall and stopping in front of the door.

Indeed, when IN and Felix turn their head around, Minho is standing in front of them, arms crossed. “You know Lix, before you, I was the last one to join the team. I technically haven’t signed anything to make it official and they are still planning to send me back home but that’s details.” He waves his hand, as if chasing a fly. “As I was saying, Chan and his minions found me in an auction house where I had been kidnapped and was ready to be sold to the wealthier.”

Felix’s eyes widen in shock, but Minho’s face is expressionless, as if he is telling them what he had for dinner. The fae throws a glance to Jeongin who is grimacing but doesn’t look anything close to surprised. “Hwang Hyunjin was ready to pay 5M to buy me. Do you believe it?” The siren walks further unto the room, stopping right beside Felix’s bed. “I mean I’m worth far more than 5 little millions but it’s the thought that counts. Given that, him making me eat toothpaste is nothing. I should be thankful really.”

Jeongin smirks. With his eyes, he silently points to where Hyunjin is hiding. Minho offers him a similar grin before he crunches down. “IS THAT WHAT YOU THOUGHT I WOULD SAY?”

Hyunjin screams bloody murder as Minho grabs his legs and drags him out of his safe hideout. “NO! SPARE MY MISERABLE LIFE YOUR HIGHNESS! IT WAS A JOKE I SWEAR I WAS JOKING!” He screams, grabbing the bed tightly.

Before Felix can decide of either laughing or separate them, Jeongin intertwines their arms and pulls him out of the room, leaving Hyunjin’s screams of help behind them. “Minho Hyung is a siren. Not anyone at that, he’s a prince, the son of Poseidon.”

Felix’s eyes comically widen. “He’s what?”

“Yeah it’s still a mystery of what he’s doing here,” IN shrugs “but because he spent all his life in the most unreachable parts of the ocean, in the Mermaid’s realm, everything above ground is almost a total mystery for him.” He diverts his eyes and start looking around them. “If you want my opinion, Hyunjin Hyung got what he deserves for trying to make him believe something that isn’s true, knowing far too well that all of this is still foreign to Hyung.”

Felix shrugs. It’s not the first time he’s seeing Minho and Hyunjin teasing and attacking each other. Of course, it’s all fun and games, and honestly, he’s a bit jealous of their bond.

The floor is a mess. Almost every door is open, and although the curfew is in 20 minutes, students are chatting in the hall or in each other’s rooms. The foreign students are making the most noise and mess, their luggage scattered in and outside of the rooms. Ryujin’s and Changbin’s stuff are blocking the way, forcing anyone that wants to cross to jump above their suitcases, clothes and electronic devices. Everyone now knows that they are leaving. Felix hadn’t bothered asking what lie they had come up with to explain their extremely short stay. 

“Changbin!’’ Ryujin screams across the hall. Her room is toward Felix’s and Jeonigin’s right while Changbin’s is in their left. “The hard drive I let you borrow, where is it?”

Changbin stops moving from where he is sitting on the floor, eyebrows frowned. “I already gave it back!”

“NO YOU DIDN’T” she screams, searching through her black suitcase.

“Changbin hyung and Ryujin are hackers.” Jeongin says beside Felix. “I haven’t been in JYP for long but for the short period I was in, they fought almost four times a week. They borrow stuff from each other that they both end up losing or they argue about said program and said record. They are both extremely loud but it’s entertaining.”

They walk down the hallway, stopping in front of Hyunjin’s and Jisung’s room. Yeji is standing in the doorway, staring down at Hyunjin who’s trying to gather the mess that is his clothes sprawled on the floor. She is biting her lips, veins apparent from under her eyes. She is pale, and Felix notices that her fingers are shacking. “Do you really not have anything left? Not even a single drop of blood?” She whispers.

Hyunjin shakes his head with an exasperated sigh. “I told you I don’t. You think I would be starving myself if I had anything?”

Yeji looks around her, as if the solution to her problem is going to appear unto thin air.

“I can’t believe they really sent us do a mission in a fucking foreign country with no whatsoever way to feed. Do they expect us to work at our 100% while fasting? This could kill us!” she bits her nails nervously. “The Vampire Minister whom we gave that fucking asshole, don’t they have some blood for us?”

Felix takes a few steps back. The whole conversation is making him sick. Not that he has any prejudice against vampires, but yesterday’s events are still fresh in his mind. His neck still aches when he moves it. If he closes his eyes, he can still feel the fangs stabbing his neck, his blood licking unto his neck. Everything is still _too_much. 

Before he can take further steps back, he bumps unto someone. When he looks above his shoulder, his eyes meet Chan’s who securely wraps an arm around his shoulders. “They do, but it’s a lot of paperwork we do not have the time for.” Yeji and Hyunjin lift their wide eyes to him, as If they have been caught doing something they shouldn’t. “Besides, if you can’t hold your hunger for barely a month, can you really call yourselves competent agents? Back in the days, Bambam and I were forced to starve for _six_months.”

Yeji’s and Hyunjin’s eyes widen even more, mouth opening in shock. “Six? How is that even possible?” Yeji asks to which Chan only shrugs. “It straightens your mental and prevent you from becoming like you two right now.”

“But- back when we went to get IN in that abandoned mansion, you were really affected by not drinking after a much shorter period of time.”

Chan shakes his head at Hyunjin. “That’s different. That forest and house were cursed with black magic. Besides, It was right after the Blood Trial. I had used too much energy and didn’t have the chance to feed properly.” He blinks his eyes quickly, as if to chase the memory away. “Anyway, there will be blood ready for both of you in the privet jet so go get ready.”

“Why didn’t you bring blood with you then?” Felix asks before he can stop himself. Chan turns his head around to answer him. “We can’t exactly snick blood in a plane. We were about to start a mission as infiltrated students, we couldn’t take the company’s privet jet and bring in blood.”

Before either of them can say anything more, Jisung walks out of Changbin’s and Seungmin’s room, the latter by his side. As soon as he sees Felix, his lips stretch unto a wide smile and he crosses the small distance that’s separating them. “Are you done packing?”

“Yeah, I’m done.” His smile feels forced, tired. He just wants to be in that damn plane and leave everything behind. “I need to go back home before heading to the airport.”

“What? Wait let me get my jacket I’m coming with you.” Felix grabs his twin’s arm, stopping him from running of to his room. “No Song, I need to do this on my own. There’s a few things I’d like to discuss with my mom.”

The war of conflicted emotions going on Jisung’s head is obvious in his eyes. He is about to say something but Seungmin stops him with a hand on his shoulder. He doesn’t say anything to him, only exchange a look. Jisung nods, eyes tearful. “Y-Yeah okay. Okay.”

“I’ll leave my luggage with you. You can give it to me when I comeback.” He throws a smile to Jisung who’s looking at the floor, as if convinced that Felix will find a way to vanish.

“I’ll call you an uber.” Jeongin says, pulling out his phone.

Felix nods thankfully, and barely 10 minutes later, the car is here to pick him up.

“I’ll wait for you.” Jisung says, squeezing his hand before he leaves. “I won’t get on that damn plane without you. I’ll wait.” 

The ride back home takes no longer than 20 minutes, and before he really has a grasp on what he’s doing, Felix is already opening the door with his keys. His mom is in the kitchen, humming a gentle familiar melody under her breathe. She notices him the second he steps in the kitchen. A shocked smile stretches her lips. “Felix! You didn’t tell me you will be back tonight!” She moves forward and wrap him in her arms. He doesn’t have the strength to hug her back. To look at her the same way he used too, because like he had looked at Jisung with new eyes, it’s the same with his mom. There are too many things that has been unpacked with his memories.

“Where are the rest?”

“Olivia and Rachel had a dinner with their mom. Your dad works late. Come, I got dinner ready.” She starts dragging him toward the kitchen, but he stops her. “I’m not staying mom.”

The woman stops short. Tension immediately settles in the air. It’s getting hard to breathe. Felix forces a smile on his lips. “Come, let’s talk on the steps outside. Like the good old days.”

She lets herself be guided outside; her eyes expressionless as she stares at her son. Felix wonders if she realized yet or not. If she picked on what he’s hinting at. When it was only him and her, back in the fairly realm, they used to sit on the stairs leading to their home. Staring at the night, hair whipped by the wind, they used to talk about anything and everything. It was during one of those late-night talks when she had told him that he was going to live in the research lab for an undefined period of time. When his world had fallen apart. 

He sits first. He can see his uber parked a couple of buildings down like he had asked him too. It’s a star full night, full of promises. It’s a couple of minutes later when his mother finally decides to sit down. Neither of them says anything. It’s tense and heavy until Felix finds the strength to speak first.

“I met Jisung.”

Contrary to what he had expected, she doesn’t say anything. Doesn’t react. Doesn’t meet his eyes as he analyzes her reaction.

“Mom,”

She doesn’t look at him. Her expression hardens. “So you remember?” her glare is cold. Freezing. Felix feels like he is back to the age of 10, when he had begged his mother not to send him there. Begged her to protect him and leave him by her side. But she had only glared him, scolded him with her biting tone to hold it in and stop acting like a spoiled baby. 

“Mom.” he gasps, voice wavering and unbelieving. How can she glare at him after everything that she had done to him? After lying to him about his identity for five years? Left him to roll over in pain, scream and cry in agony while she knew the reason of his suffering? Knew she could heal him and solve it but left him to his misery?

“How did you find out?” she asks with a fierce tone.  
  
“Is that what’s important now? Is that the only thing you have to tell me?” He waits for her to speak, to say something, anything, but she doesn’t. She keeps her lips firmly closed, and it angers him even more. He tries to blink his tears away as he keeps talking. “How could you have hidden my identity from me? Why did you not tell me that I was a fae? Why did you let me suffer knowing far too well that it was because I didn’t open my wings for _five__years_?”

“I was scared!” she suddenly turns to face him. “I was scared that after seeing your black wing you would ask questions and would remember.”

Felix scoffs, looking away when a tear runs down his cheek. “And I wasn’t? You think it didn’t terrify me to be in so much pain without having the slightest clue as to why? Did you even know that it could have _killed _me?”

His mother backtracks, the anger in her face changing unto hesitation. “I- I was there every single time to help free your energy.”

“You were? You were there _every single time_?” He presses his left hand against his eye, collecting himself. “You were there when _I allowed __you _to hear me. When it was so painful and agonizing that I couldn’t hold my screams in. You don’t have a single clue on how much I suffered _alone_.”

There’s a silence.

Felix lets it stretch until he has enough strength in his voice to speak without breaking.

“You know, I don’t blame you. I stopped believing that you would ever protect me or be there for me a long time ago.” He doesn’t have to specify; she knows what he’s talking about. He had tried so many times to ask for her help, had told her how much the tests that were forced on both him and Jisung were killing them, but she had ignored him. Had forced herself to believe that he was exaggerating. The money that she gained on his back for selling her son as a rat lab had been too blinding. She had only realized her mistakes when it was too late.

Still, Felix can’t blame her for not telling him. He had known the risks that came with erasing his memories, but he had still gone with it because, back then, it hurt to even breathe. He is the only one responsible for the consequences.

“I’m leaving with Jisung. We’re going to South Korea. He has a job there. I got a proposition to work in his company with him and his team. I’m leaving mom. I want for once in my life to take a decision _for __me _that would make _me _happy.” He searches her eyes, but she stubbornly leaves them in front of her. “Mom” he calls, almost begging. “Mom look at me.”

The woman finally turns her head. She holds out her hands, gently holding his cheeks. “Lee Felix, you are the best and worst thing that happened to me in my life.”

A tear rolls down his cheek. “I know.” He whispers. It’s the lullaby she used to tell him when he was a child every night before bed. He knows. He has the words memorized. “I had everything I could ask for before you came. I had my youth, beauty, my parent’s support and money. I was popular and had the word turn around me. And then, you came, and you took everything from me.”

“I know.” He repeats. No tear follows the first one. He knows it’s the last time he’s hearing those words.

“I decided to keep you Lix, because you had the right to have a shot in life. Because for the first time in my life, there was someone else who _needed_me to live.” Her eyes are red, but she doesn’t cry. “I’m sorry for not giving you a father. I’m sorry for not being there for you when you needed me the most. I’m forever thankful that _you_were there when _I_needed you the most.”

Felix offers her the best smile he can muster. He gently wraps his arms around her and pulls her close unto a hug_. It’s fucked u_p, a part of his brain tells him. _What a fucked-up relationship. _Him and his mom had always been toxic to each other. “Tell Dad that I’m sorry. I don’t blame him; I know now that all he ever wanted was to protect you and his daughters.” He rubs her back, taking in her scent one last time. “Tell Rachel and Olivia that I’m sorry for leaving without a goodbye. That I will always be there for them if they need anything.” He steps back from the embrace. “I will keep in touch Mom okay? But don’t think about me too much, I know the thought of me pains you.”

His mother nods. She doesn’t say anything more, and Felix finds himself not wishing she would. He stands up, and slowly, hands in his pockets, walks away.

He wonders how his mom is feeling right now, watching her one and only son walks away from her life. It must sadden her as much as it probably brings a tiny amount of relief to her heart. With him gone, she doesn’t have to take care of the burden of a murderer son. Doesn’t have to be scared of him every time his magic overflows and causes damages around him. He knows his mom loves him, but Amelia Lee loved the innocent child who ran in her arms giggling after a shiny afternoon in the park. Felix doesn’t know if that kid still exists between all the atrocities that he had done and had been done to him. He doesn’t know if she still looks for him every time, she stares at him. Doesn’t know if she finds him or not. Doesn’t know if she would have loved the Felix he became. It doesn’t matter now.

He climbs in the backseat of the uber. “To the airport please.”

His phone vibrates in his pocket and he pulls it out. It’s a text from Jisung; _“What topping do you want on your pizza? If you say pineapple, I’m not buying it.”_

A laugh shakes his chest. The casualty of the message eases his heart. _“Vegemite Pizza please <3” _

The answer come right away_. “Ew. You know what? With your questionable tastes, you’re rooming with Chan hyung and Changbin hyung. If we still have an apartment that is; god please I hope manager hyung didn’t forget to pay the rent again.” _

Felix doesn’t know what he got himself unto, but it sure sounds fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TADAHHH~~~
> 
> Not a lot of actions but a lot of talking, I know. There was just a lot lot of things to unpack, lot of things that needed to be said, so I'm glad I could all put them in here. Felix arc is finally done *whip sweats* and sadly, (or thankfully), we are slowly approaching the end.  
There's maybe about 5 chapters left. No spoils but get ready for a bitter sweat ending. By the way, I don't know if you noticed but I changed the summary of the story lmao (again). I won't say anything about it and leave it to your imagination ~~~ 
> 
> Anyway, Thank you for reading as always and comments are so much appreciated. Really, I gain so much strength from your comments so I wanted to thank all of you. 
> 
> See yall~~


	24. Waddling My Way Unto Your Arms

Chan glares at the door standing fervently in front of him, as if with only his stare, he could make it crumble.

Anxiously, he plays with his bottom lip, his hands folded behind his back out of instinct. He doesn’t really have any reason to be scared right now, he shouldn’t. How many times through the past eight years has he stood in front of this same door, in front of this man? Too many times to count. Too many times till fear became numb. Though Chan knows he is lying. He had been scared in the past. Scared of being left behind. Of being kicked out. Of not being good enough. Of dying. He was only a boy who had been given a gun and fangs to protect himself. But the years has passed, and he knows better now than to be held back by such fears. Chan isn’t scared. He has learned how to make JYP dance around his finger, as stubborn and crazy as the old man is. Today too, the young vampire will make his boss bend to his commands.

The doorknob turns, and a second later, two young boys exit the office. They are of similar high, and both of them aren’t taller than Chan’s stomach. A smile immediately climbs up to his lips and he slightly bends to ruffle their hair.

“Shuyang! Mingrui! It’s been a while.”

The two boys smile widely, clearly excited to see him. “Congratulation on your debut! It’s a hot topic in the building.” Shuyang says, his eyes sparkling.

“YoungK hyung said there will be a party for you at the _Sweven_to celebrate! Manager hyung and Hanyu hyung said we could go.” Mingrui affirms, jumping from one foot to the other from excitement. 

“Really? Isn’t it past your bedtime?” Chan is only half joking, Shuyang is after all only 13 years old and Mingrui is 14. Given the coffee shop odd opening hours, the party, whatever party they are talking about, might last until the early hours of the morning. “We have a day off tomorrow. Pd-nim said we worked well and could rest.” Mingrui says with a proud tone.

“About that…” Chan looks above the two kids’ shoulders to the slightly open door behind them. “How’s the old man? Is his mood alright? He didn’t manage to scratch you with those ugly blue creatures, did he?” Now that he’s thinking about it, he examines both of their cheeks, turning their heads around to see if their skin doesn’t have any trace.

“Nothing!” Shuyang exclaims with a smile as he lets Chan turn his head around like a doll. “Not even close! We’re well trained Hyung.”

Chan sighs in relief and ruffles their hair. “Good. Now go grab something to eat, I’ll see you tonight.”

Both boys nod before running off, waving with big mentions at Chan. When they turn the corner and can’t be seen anymore, the vampire takes a deep breath in and knock at the door.

“Come in!” Park Jinyoung’s voice resonates, giving permission to one of his oldest and best trainee to advance unto the office.

The room is in the same state as he had last seen it with Changbin that day. The office is messy, like if a storm had passed by. Papers, books and stuff that should not even be here are scattered everywhere. The usual green smoke is dancing like a snake at his feet, and the ever existence of those blue creatures is sadly still a thing. It stinks, but Chan is so used to it that he almost can’t smell it anymore. He looks down at his feet, making sure to not step on any of JYP’s ugly and creepy creatures. He might hate them, but he isn’t cruel enough to hurt them without a purpose. Him and Bambam had ate one back in the days, but that was a time where foolishness and their teenagers’ hormones replaced their brain.

“Channi, I heard the mission in Australia went well! Congratulation!” Park Jinyoung shouts, sitting behind his desk. “You know I’m waiting for your report, right?”

With both his hands behind his back, Chan nods. “Of course, sir.”

His boss leans forward, eyes sparkling in excitement. He looks like a mad man. “You and your team found and caught the rogue vampire before Itzy. As promised, you will get to debut first.”

“It’s an honor pd-nim.”

Completely ignoring him, the old man continues talking, opening a drawer to his right, pulling out several black folders and putting them one by one beside each other on the desk. “As an official team, you will be given complete protection by the company. You will be paid regularly and will be given a new apartment to move in. The place is under the company’s name, so you don’t have to worry about paying rent.” He starts tapping at his keyboard, searching something on his computer’s screen. “You will be taken care of by Division 1. They are at your beck and call so don’t hesitate to ask anything from them.” He turns his head to stare at the younger with his piercing eyes. “You are not a team of three anymore Channi, nor eight. The whole division, no the entirety of the company and every group under it is now your team as well.”

Chan nods stiffly, fighting back the tears and the itch in his throat. How many years had passed since the first day he put his foot in the building? How many times had he wished to debut, to officially be part of JYP and not just a pawn that could easily be replaced? How many people had he watched either make it or leave? Die, survive or live? How many nightmares did he have about being kicked out? How many day- dreaming did he have about this precise moment, about the people who would debut with him? _His _team and no one else’s? 

Now that it’s finally time, it feels like a dream. Is it really happening or is it nothing but a desert mirage?

“Here,” JYP says, pointing with his chin at the folders between them. With white chalk, on each, is written their names. From Bang Chan to Yang Jeongin.

Chan frowns.

“In each folder, you will find information we have collected on your team members. Know your team well Chan.”

The leader nods, stepping forward to grab them. It feels very much like privacy violation and he doesn’t think he’ll be able to get away with the guilt of looking unto them behind his members’ backs. Did every leader have to do this? Did Jaebum, Jihyo and Sungjin go through this? He’ll have to ask them.

“I have a favor to ask of you sir.”

Jinyoung raises an eyebrow, the only encouragement he gives Chan to continue. “The kids are still getting used to each other. They are all extremely talented, precious and irreplaceable teammates, but some of them don’t even know how to hold a gun or infiltrate a building.” He examines JYP’s face, and when he doesn’t show any hostility, Chan keeps going. “I ask some time for us to adjust as a team. To train with each other so we can get used to the group’s dynamic.”

“Of course! That’s actually exactly what I had planned on doing with you guys. We have a chalet in the mountains. Our artists use It when they need some time off for group bonding time or personal training. It is in a secluded area, with a small town a couple of kilometers away. The house is loaded with anything you need for training; guns, hacking devices, an infirmary room, potion room and a shooting field behind the house.” He pulls out his phone and starts texting someone. “I will let division 1 know about this and they’ll get the chalet ready for your arrival and your trip there. You can go there in three days. Stay there until we call you. Is that good for you?” The man doesn’t wait for his response. He doesn’t really care if Chan’s team is ready or not. It wasn’t a question. “Meanwhile, you can pack your things and move to your new apartment. Your manager will take you there tomorrow.”

Chan’s eyes are wide and for the first time in forever, he can’t hide his surprise in front of the man. 3racha had always been ignored by the company when they didn’t need them to go in a mission left and right that they were underpaid for. More time than not they weren’t even paid. The rent of their rundown apartment was almost never paid on time, and Chan couldn’t count on his fingers alone the number of times they got threatened to be kicked out. When they ever needed something from the company as small as a decent WIFI for Changbin to work on his hacking, they always were given the deaf ear. Jisung’s sniper gun was the lowest of quality because none of the staff bothered to waste good material on a trainee, even if said trainee did job done as well as a debuted artist. It had been frustrating, the three of them forced to become independent at such an early age and do everything on their own. Neither to say, it is a weird feeling to finally be able to rely on JYPE.

“Thank you, sir.” Chan says, bowing down. The man dismisses him with his right hand, as if he is chasing a fly.

Quietly, with a last disdainful glance to the blue creatures dancing at his feet as if celebrating his debut, Chan leaves the office.

\--

A heavy sigh escapes Jeongin’s lips.

Arms protectively pressed against his chest, he rests his back against the couch.

“Ask your question.” He tells Minho who’s been intensely staring at him. Glaring. Whatever he’s doing.

Minho doesn’t say anything for a while, his eyes turning unto two splits as he stares harder and longer at the younger boy, as if he holds the secret of world peace in his eyes.

“I just don’t get it.” He finally says, his hands flying in the air around him in a sign of complete astonishment. “You said your family have been elves for centuries. That you are therefore a pureblooded elf. But you are also a Banshee, with that whole creepy old lady ghost experience in the basement.”

Jeongin sighs again, his arms unwrapping. “I just don’t get it! Are you a hybrid or something?” Minho asks again to wish the elf rolls his eyes. “I told you I’m not.”

“Then how’s that possible? You don’t see me going around saying I’m a vampire and a siren!”

“For the thousand time, being a banshee is not a specie. It’s not a race like vampires, werewolves, sirens, etc. Being a banshee is like having black hair, or blue eyes or being especially good in art.” Jeongin leans forward. “Anyone can be born a banshee; a human, a siren, a fae, whatever.”

Minho seems to finally start to understand. His eyebrows frown as he thinks hard. “What does it really mean being a Banshee?”

A smile appears on the younger’s lips. “Metaphorically speaking, there is said to be a veil between the livings and everything else; mostly devils and djinns.”

Jisung and Felix appears around the corner, entering the living room looking interested on what Jeongin has to say.

“The livings cannot see nor hear everything that is beyond the veil. To protect them.” He points to himself. “A banshee like me, is more sensitive to the other world. To what normally cannot and should not be seen nor heard. We can hear and see them with varying intensities depending on various factors.”

“Like what?” Changbin asks, his attention drifting from the laptop screen he had been glued on until now.

“Like Banshee’s health. They can get to us easier if we are weak, mentally or/and physically. As in if we are sick, injured or sometimes just woke up feeling off.” He lifts a second finger. “It also depends on the strength of whoever is trying to contact us or are in the presence of.”

Seungmin and Hyunjin suddenly shows up by the doorframe, a yogurt in both of their hands. “Why would they want to try to come in contact with you? Do they want you to send messages to their families or something like that?” the vampire asks. Jeongin suddenly feels overwhelmed, but in a good way. His family has always tried to ignore this side of him, as if it is a disease or a curse. In a way, it might be is, but it feels incredibly good that someone is finally showing interest to what and how being a banshee affect his life.

He shakes his head, trying to bring himself back to reality. “The dead do not contact us. They do not stay in the form of ghosts like many believes. It always is devils or djinns taking possession of the memory the dead left behind. Feeding of the tragedies that had happened.”

“What’s the difference between a Djinn and a devil?” Changbin turns in his chair to properly face him.

Jeongin presses his lips to find a way how to say this. “To make it simple, Djinns can be either good or bad. The woman I saw back in Australia, it was a Djinn in the appearance of someone who probably passed away there ages ago.”

“Was it a good or a bad Djinn?” Felix asks in a small voice, sitting close to Jisung who looks as equally terrified.

No one says anything for a while.

“I wish that I can say it was a bad one, then we could just ignore what she warned me against but-” Jeongin shakes his head. “I think she was just trying to warn us.”

Jisung suddenly turns his head to the front door, making everyone startle.

“What is it?” Changbin almost whimpers.

But Jisung is smiling. “Chan hyung is really happy!” he simply says, jumping in excitement in his seat. Felix mirrors his grin, “It’s so strong that I can feel it through Jisung! He’s so excited!”

A second later, the doorknob turns, and the door is sent flying against the wall. Chan enters the apartment, a huge smile painting his face. He looks close to tears as he glances at all his members expectantly meeting his eyes.

“WE ARE DEBUTING! ALL EIGHT OF US!” he screams, and just like that, the apartment turns unto chao.

Jisung and Changbin scream back in one voice, running to throw themselves in Chan’s arms. Hyunjin is scooting a weird dance while Seungmin is laughing wholeheartedly. Minho is screaming, probably just to add chao and noise to the scene even if he doesn’t have a single clue on what debuting means. Jeongin and Felix are hugging each other, jumping around as they sing in unison a victorious chant.

Then, the members switch around and one moment Chan is hugging Felix and the other he is whipping the tears away from Hyunjin’s face. The calm finds itself back within the small apartment, all drained out as if they had been sprinting, when Minho’s gentle voice speaks up.

“Does this mean I get to stay?” he asks in a small voice, and it’s all it takes to break every barrier Chan has put to hold back his tears. He doesn’t know what happened in Minho’s life to make him leave everything he ever known, the life of a prince, and come to this fucked up world on above ground. He doesn’t know why he wants to stay with their team when none of them can even afford a proper meal, but the way Minho asked the question, is something Chan has personally experienced in his life. Wanting so desperately to cling to something stable for once, to be so terrified to hear the answer. He doesn’t know what brought Minho to them, but at that instant, he swears on his life to do everything he can to protect him. To protect all of them.

“Is that a no?” Minho asks again in a small voice, making the first sob escape Chan’s lips. “You can stay.” He hiccups, whipping his tears as Seungmin gently pats his back. “N-no one will make you leave. Stay.”

A huge smile breaks through Minho’s lips. Chan opens his arms, and the siren waddles his way in them.

The leader rubs his back, blinking back his tears. “You guys can go pack your bags. We’re leaving this damn rotten place.”

Chao breaks again, and a second later, Minho leaves his arms to go jump and scream with the rest.

As Chan watches them run around to pack their things, it suddenly comes to his realization how few clothing they have. His and Jisung’s things can fit each in a single small suitcase, just like Felix who flew from Australia with the same small amount. Seungmin’s clothes can all fit in a backpack, having spent more his life in the orphanage’s uniforms than in anything else. Jeongin, after the mission that saved Minho, left Busan in a hurry. The only members who had a decent amount of clothes are Changbin and Hyunjin, and that is where the rest of the member’s steal today’s hoodie from.

“Hyung! Where do we leave our suitcases?” Jisung asks, eyes wide open in excitement. Felix is standing by his side, arms full of some of the plushies 3racha had collected through the years for moral support. These two, even if it only has been a day since their comeback from Australia, haven’t left each other’s sides for longer than a minute. Jisung even waits in the hallway when Felix has to go shower or for a break to the bathroom, and so does Felix. Chan hasn’t said anything about it, because it has after all only been a bit over 24hours since their official reunion, but he worries that they both are developing some separation anxiety. He is scared Jisung’s PTSD might resurface and any potential reaction coming from Felix after gaining back his memories. Jisung’s presence and the rest of the seven members’ presence might be a great distraction, but Felix will be forced to face his trauma sooner or later. After all, Jisung did have the time to accept what happened, and start healing from it, but Felix had forgotten everything the past five years. He might be in denial right now or maybe already in the stage of acceptance, and Chan is terrified of when and where the trauma will come crushing down above his head.

“Hyung? Hyung!”

Chan startles, stepping back as Jisung waves a hand in front of his eyes and Felix blinks curiously at him. “S-sorry. You can leave them by the door! We will move out tomorrow.”

The two boys grin at him before disappearing in a one of the rooms.

“CHAN HYUNG!” Changbin suddenly screams. “Get moving I’m not going to pack your stuff for you.”

“Coming!”

It takes around an hour and a half to pack all of their things. When that is done, Chan was about to call them for a quick meeting in the living room when his phone started ringing.

On the screen, it’s YoungK’s name that appears.

“Hello?”

There are loud noises behind the line, and for a moment, it’s hard to hear what he is saying. _“Hi Channi what’s up?” _his hyung’s voice speaks in an awkward laugh. It’s silent, so he must have stepped out of wherever he was that made so much noise.

“I’m good, how are you?” Chan sits down on one of the couches, legs folded bellow him.

_“You know, the usual. How was your mission in Australia? Heard you came back with one more member!” _he sounds calmer, his voice having gained back its usual light and comic tone.

Chan glances at Felix who is fighting with a suitcase on the hallway’s floor. Apparently, Jisung broke the zipper. “Yeah I did.” His eyes soften. He hadn’t known the boy for that long, but Felix had already done so much for them. He gave them his heart, trust and friendship when he knew nothing about them, just because he liked their personality and deemed them worth it. Chan knows it meant a lot to the members. It meant a lot to _him_. Then, because of his worthlessness as a leader, Felix got bitten. The fae had said that it was a blessing in disguise, given the fact that it allowed him to reunite with Jisung, but Chan couldn’t get the image of Felix’s lifeless body as blood poured from his neck. He can’t unhear Jisung’s scream of utter terror as he ran to his twin. He can’t unsee Felix’s soulless eyes staring unto nothingness. Felix had suffered, and it was because of him.

_“Channi? Are you still here?” _

Chan shakes his head, as if to chase the thoughts away. “Yeah sorry. Felix joined us, he’s an amazing bud.”

_“I’m glad to hear that! To me your happiness comes first.” _YoungK’s voice is calming, soft and gentle. Like it always has been. _“Can you come by Sweven tonight? Bring your kids with you!”_

“Yeah about that, Shuyang and Mingrui mentioned it earlier. What are you planning exactly? You know I don’t like it when you trouble yourself.”

_“These two can’t keep a secret, I told Ryujin not to tell them.” _The older frustratingly whispers under his breath.

“What?” Chan asks with a smile, pretty sure that he wasn’t supposed to hear that.

_“What what? Nothing! Just come by midnight Chan, no one is troubling no one. We just want to celebrate your debut!” _

The vampire frowns his eyebrows. “We? Who’s we exactly?”

_“Oh, just one or two friends.” _He dodges the question and Chan notices it. _“Anyway, you’re coming right? You better come!” _

Chan is about to reassure him that he will, when a female voice cuts him through the call._  
  
“BAMBAM AND JAE! DAMN IT BOTH OF YOU I SAID JISUNG IS LACTOSE INTOLERANT! NO, I DON’T CARE GO BUY ANOTHER CAKE!” _Without doubt, that’s Jihyo’s voice. _“You did not just hear that. Bye.” _YoungK says, and with that, the call ends.

\---

“So what’s exactly Sweven?” Minho asks as they make their way into the night, hours after Chan’s call with YoungK. He had given the afternoon off to the kids, even if they couldn’t allow themselves to rest with their debut coming up, but unable to force them to work knowing that they’d be up all night and have an early meeting scheduled tomorrow with Division 1. 

“_Sweven _means a vision seen in sleep; a dream.”

Chan sometimes wonders how it is possible that Seungmin is a human dictionary.

“It’s an old coffee shop on the 8thstreet, between an ancient apothecary shop and a shady not trustful alley.” Jisung says from where he is walking between Felix and Changbin. His red platform boots are shining in the darkness. “It opens at midnight and closes with the rising sun. The place is run alone by an old woman, we never saw a part-timer there.”

Chan nods, wrapping his arm around Jeongin’s shoulders. “And she didn’t accept anyone. God knows how much we tried. All trainee needed money, Jackson and Mina even fake cried, but she stayed as stone as cold.”

“Maybe she was scared hiring someone would make her lazy. Old people are sometimes afraid to have nothing to do and like to occupy their hands and days.” Hyunjin chimers in, jumping on a small flask of water left by the rain.

Changbin stares as the water splashes on them and make Minho loudly complain. “Or maybe she has something to hide.”

As everyone turns around to throw him a doubtful glare, the wolf only wiggles his eyebrows in response.

They arrive to the shop a couple of minutes later.

The whole place explodes in cheers the moment Chan and his team put a foot inside. Just like he had expected, YoungK had lied. There wasn’t one or two friends present like he had said, but rather three or four groups. Got7, Day6, Twice, Itzy, Boy Story and even some members of 2pm had come. It was a surprise by itself that all of their schedules had miraculously matched to organize this.

It hadn’t even been fully five minutes since he had arrived, that Chan already lost his team members within the crowd. Jeongin had been dragged somewhere by some of the twice members; probably Sana and Momo if he recognized their excited scream properly. Seungmin and Changbin are with Wonpil, there was no doubt in that. Hyunjin and Jisung are eating cheesecake in one of the tables by the left side window, absorbed in whatever Jinyoung is telling them. Minho is playing with Jaebum’s cats that he had brought with him and Felix is dancing weirdly to rock music with Ryujin. They all look happy, and it’s far enough to bring a smile up Chan’s face.

“Hey, hello! Earth to Chris!” Sungjin calls from where he is sitting in front of Chan, waving a hand in front of his eyes. “Your kids are fine, you can stop searching for them in the crowd.

Chan chuckles with one of his breathless laughs. He brings the hot chocolate with marshmallows up to his lips. The warmness spreads to his stomach. “I know, I know.” He sighs.

“You look troubled.” Jihyo brings a chair and sits on it backward, her chin on her hands. “Besides obviously debuting, do you have any worries or things you are curious about? You can ask or tell us anything, you know that right?”

Nodding, Chan absent mindedly stares at the white fluffy cotton like sweet melting in his drink. Oh how to be a marshmallow with no whatsoever worry in the world. He lifts his eyes to meet Jihyo’s. She is looking at him with those eyes that know so much. That have herself seen too much. It sometimes feels like she is way older than he is. Jihyo had been thrown on the rough world of life-threatening missions with eight girls to lead at such a young age.

“I actually do have something to ask you.” He glances back at Sungjin. “To the both of you, and to Jaebum Hyung as well.”

Jaebum decides to show up at that moment, appearing behind Jihyo with a hand on her shoulder. “Me?”

Chan looks around him. There are too many people. “Can we go talk outside?”

The three of them nods, and they stand up to leave the coffee shop.

“Where are you going?”

Of course Changbin will notice. With his wolf like hearing, his sharp sense, lack of trust toward others and overly protective instinct, there were few chances of Chan sneaking out without him noticing, and that is despite any distraction around him. Chan offers him a reassuring smile, “Just out for a small talk. We’ll be back.”

Changbin nods, and with that, Chan joins Jihyo, Sungjin and Jaebum outside.

Jaebum already has a cigarette securely held between his lips. Jihyo is trying to light up hers, hands already reddening by the biting cold.

“No thanks I’m trying to stop.” Chan hears Sungjin say the moment he approaches them. Jaebum turns his pack to the young vampire who accepts one.

“You got back to smoking?” Jihyo’s eyebrows are raised, back against the shop’s vitrine. Chan scoffs. He doesn’t respond until his cigarette is aflame and he brings it with trembling fingers to his lips. It’s ironic, the way Jihyo is staring at him with suffocating worry as she inhales her own smoke. The woman is the same age as him and has smoked more cigarettes in her life than any of them united. Maybe Jihyo sees herself too much in Chan. Maybe to her, he is a mirror of herself but cleaner, stronger, unshattered. She wants to protect him from everything that went wrong in her life, and as much as he appreciates her high expectations of him, it’s suffocating. It’s suffocating how she wants him to succeed in everything she failed in. Chan is not cleaner, bolder or any of the things she thinks he is. He has is fair share of blood on his hands, and he can’t remember a time where he hadn’t been a broken doll. It’s just that he had been that way before he joined JYP, and Jihyo having only met the shattered mirror, doesn’t know nor realizes that there must have been a time where the glass was full. He gets angry sometimes at her for expecting him to not succumb to the darkness that such an environment drags them in. Guns, killing, carefully crafted and painted masks, lies, the cold metallic gun against their foreheads and the hot metallic blood in their mouths, that’s what they each have been raised to master and get as familiar with as one would with a family member. Jihyo had no right to ask him to be the only one within their group to turn out ok. They were all messed up. They had screamed at each other and he had told her that she was only trying to make him the perfect saint to ease her own sins and remorse. Maybe it was partially true, but Chan when his teenager hormones don’t replace his brain, understands that she only means well. Though those days are far gone in the blurred past.

“Not really. Jisung and Changbin are the only one who I had smoked in front of. Hyunjin probably knows but we both pretend that he doesn’t. The others don’t know, and I want to keep this shit away from them. So no I didn’t get back to smoking, but I guess there’s exceptions.” He ends up saying after a stretched silence.

“So we’re the bad influence?” Jaebum shoves Chan’s arm with those smiles of his.

“We’re toxic to each other, that’s nothing new. Not just the four of us, all of the crackheads inside that trained together.” Sungjin points behind him where they can still hear the laughers and screams. “We work perfectly fine when we are in our own teams, but as soon as we all reunite, it’s like we short-circuit, and everyone’s brain turn unto a bean. I’d be surprised If no one kill each other by accident tonight.”

They all chuckle, Chan’s chest easing for even just the slightest. He takes another drag from his cigarette and watches as Jaebum makes smoke rings unto the night air. The first one to introduce this piece of toxicity in their lives had been Jae. He had a pack hidden in his stuff, and one day, Jaebum had accidently ran across it. He stole the whole thing, partially intrigued by it and another part angry at the older for even having it in his possession. Then one day, they had a training on the field that brought them to their very first encounter with death, the very first shattered piece of their soul. The trainees that got assigned to the mission were Chan and Bambam because back then they rarely did anything without the other, JJproject who were meant to lead the team, Jae, Mark and Sungjin as the three oldest and finally Jihyo and Sana as their ace cards. JYP had underestimated the strength of the enemy, and they almost all perished. A gun had been put inside Jihyo’s mouth, Chan’s fangs had been torn, Bambam almost lost one of his eyes, and the rest had all been inflicted pretty horrible pain. The night they got out of JYP’s makeshift hospital, the nine of them had reunited in the park behind their dorm and taken each one cigarette from Jae’s pack that Jaebum had stolen. They each dealt with It differently, but overall, they all went through the same phases from addiction to withdrawal. Now, Chan can confidently say that they all overcome it even if they succumb to the temptation when stress gets too much. Unfortunately, stress is not something they can get past in their jobs.

“I had a meeting with JYP this morning.” Chan blurts when his cigarette is halfway done. “He gave me…” he tries looking for the right term to call what he had been untrusted with. “Black files.”

Jaebum scoffs a humorless laugh. “Ah those damned files.”

“Did he also give them to you guys?” he glances at Jihyo and Sungjin to gauges their reactions. Jihyo is staring at him while Sungjin is eyeing without seeing something off distance. “Of course he did. Right as we were debuting. Black files with the members’ name written on each one. Containing all of our darkest ugliest little secrets.” Jaebum smirks, looking pissed rather than pleased.

Chan hesitates, searching for the right words. “I don’t know what to do. It’s their privacy, I can’t just go through their whole life, can’t I? It isn’t right.” He runs a hand through his hair, frustrated.

Sunjin removes a lollipop from his pocket and puts it in his mouth, finally looking calmer and less fidgety. “You know what else isn’t right? Our whole lives. You are in the wrong company if you’re looking for anything that is _right_.”

Jihyo has a smile on her lips, looking relieved. As if she just had her hopes confirmed that Chan is still whoever she portrays him as; someone that still can be saved. Somehow, it angers him.

Jaebum seems to find pity in him because he throws his cigarette and properly turns to face Chan. “Listen Chris, I can’t tell you what to do, but I can share with you what I did with those black flies.” He throws a glance inside _Sweven_. Jackson has joined Felix and Ryujin into their weird dancing. “When I got them, I let the members know. I gave them a week to come to me and tell me anything they’d like to share with me alone or with the whole the team. After that deadline, I read the files.”

“I didn’t do like Jb.” Sungjin says when Jaebum steals his lollipop. “They were all present when the old man gave me the files. They knew I had them and that I’ll read them, and that’s what I did.” He grimaces at the thief of his candy and start looking in his pockets for another one. “After that, I discussed with them anything that needed to be talked about. Some stuff with just me, others with the team. There are things that need to be known by everyone if you are planning for things to go well. For examples; phobias and triggers.”

Chan nods. He hadn’t thought about this.

There’s a silence that stretches between them.

“What? Why are you all looking at me?” Jihyo asks, cigarette dangerously dancing on her lips. “Aaah It’s my turn?” She takes a long drag between her manicured nails before she throws it to the ground and crush it with her hill. “I guess I’m a bit more sadistic that these two.” She sighs, her face dropping. “The girls didn’t know about the files. I managed to have a private conversation with each one of them, asking them to tell me anything and everything in their lives worth knowing that lead them to join Twice. After that, I read their files. I wanted and needed to know about the things they would keep from me, what they would lie about, what they were insecure sharing.” She rubs her arms. She is only wearing a short-sleeved shirt, although Jihyo being a werewolf never gets affected by the cold. It leads Chan to think that her unconscious action isn’t related to the cold. “I then showed them the file and confronted them about what they hid or lied about.”

She lifts her eyes to Chan’s. “Some of them might have felt betrayed, but it was necessary. That’s the life we enrolled ourselves in. It’s merciless, unfair and ugly.”

Her words hang in the air between them, and for a long moment, no one says anything. As if she had sharply cut unto the air that went in their lungs and allowed them to speak.  
  
“You weren’t being sadistic Ji, I would have done the same if I was as smart as you.” Jaebum says. Jihyo nods but doesn’t say anything. She accepts the lollipop Sungjin gives her. Chan wonders for a second if he has one more for him as he throws his cigarette on the thin layer of snow gathering at their feet.

“What about your own files?”

Jihyo shrugs. “You know me Chan, I was raised in JYP. I don’t have anything to hide that the company isn’t already aware of or anyone matter of fact. I left my file on the dining table and let them read it. It was only fair after what I did to them.”

“A couple of months after debut, we had a mission that went wrong. There was miscommunication within the team and everyone’s trust in each other went down the drain.” Jaebum stretches his muscles, forcing the tension that had gathered on them to fly away with the night breeze. It must be around 4am. “I gathered all of them and put the seven files between us. I gave them mine and told them to read it one by one and pass it around. I let them know that if we really wanted to keep this team working, we needed to trust each other with our lives, to know each other to the bone.” He bits his lollipop, breaking it unto pieces inside his month. “That night, we all read each other files. We fought, screamed, cried, hugged. It was a mess but hey we made it.” His arms gestures around him, showing something that wasn’t visible to the eye. 

Sungjin sighs when Chan’s eyes turn to his. He takes his candy out of his mouth, its colors almost completely faded. “I told them that they could ask me anything about me that they were curious about. And they did.” He swings back and forth on his hills. “I only gathered the courage to give them my file a year and a half after our debut.”

“You don’t have to be a perfect leader Chan. You don’t have to be good in everything.” Jaebum says, a comforting hand on the younger’s shoulder. “I mean look at us.”

Oh but Chan had looked at them far enough in all those years where they had debuted and he was the only one left alone in the cold, merciless practice rooms. To his eyes, they already are perfect, but to the three of them, it doesn’t seem like they see themselves the same way Chan does.

“You only need to be able to lead your team. To take decisions for the safety of everyone and protect them as much as you can. To keep the team moving like a single body.” He sighs before he flips a smile on his lips. “Whatever your decision is, think about the group first.”

Chan nods, feeling as if a weight had been lifted off his chest. “Thank you.”

“You’ll thank us when you’ll be able to pay us a dinner at a five-star restaurant.” Jihyo wraps her arm around his neck and start dragging him back inside the coffee shop.

When they are finally back, the mess that are their members look like they have finally calmed down. The music has been turned off, and none of them is running behind the other. The three younger members of Boy Story are fast sleep; Shuyang has his head on Mina’s lap, Mingrui is cuddled with a blanket on the floor under a table and Zeyu on a chair.

“Bang Chan’s team, come toward me, we have a meeting in an hour.” Chan raises his voice to attract the attention toward him, his right hand in the air. “Jisung let go of that cheesecake, you are lactose intolerant for god's sake, how many did you have tonight? You’ll have a stomachache!”

“Too late.” Jisung mumbles.

They soon all stand around Chan like middle schoolers gathering around their teachers at the end of a recess. After making sure to bow at everyone and thank them repeatedly for the night, they are about to leave when Chan stops abruptly. “Wait, where’s grandma? We haven’t seen her the whole night.”

“She was here when we arrived.” Nayeon says, looking around her as if the elder would appear in front of her eyes.

As if on cue, heavy footsteps echoes against the wall from a closed door behind the front desk.

Everyone stops talking, the tension and anticipation slowly rising in the air as the sound of her heels fill the silence. As if their trained senses could feel the upcoming storm.

The door opens, and the old woman steps out in front of them. Though she doesn’t say anything. Her eyes suddenly widen, and her mouth opens in stupefaction. She walks around the front desk and steps closer to stand right in front of Chan and his team. She’s shaking.

Chan wants to say something. His instincts urge him to stand between the woman and his team, to put them behind him, but his muscles are frozen, like the air around them. He faintly hears someone, probably Yeji from the tone of her voice, ask if anything is wrong, but no one responds.

Slowly, the elder kneels on the floor, her arms pressed down in submission.

“YOUR MAJESTY.” She croaks like a frog. “YOUR MAGESTY IT’S SUCH A HUGE HONOR.”

Chan forces his head to turn to the person she is bowing too, slowly and painfully as if the world is in slow mention and his blood has frozen.

Minho is standing petrified. His eyes are round like two golf balls. His left hand is trembling under the pressuring attention and tension.

“I DIDN’T KNOW THAT YOUR HIGHNESS HAD COME TO THE GROUND”

The women keep rambling and shouting, head pressed against the floor, but no one moves, no one says a word. They are all looking at Minho, waiting for a reaction, for the explanation of what’s going on. Chan’s team are after all the only one aware of his identity, everyone else too shocked to make sense of the scene unfolding in front of them.

Chan’s eyes are fixed on Minho. He has an urge to run to him and hide him in his arms, but he can’t move. The prince’s chest is unmoving, his lips slightly parted open as if he was about to take in a breath that never managed to reach his lungs. His face, usually either sporting a malicious grin or expressionless, is painted by terror.

“Hyung?”

Minho suddenly snaps his head toward Jisung, making both of them startle. There are tears in the older’s eyes. It’s like he just got pulled out of a world where time had stopped running. He throws a panicked glance around him, and a second later, he runs out the shop.  
  
“HYUNG!” Jisung screams, taking off after him, quickly followed by Changbin who curses under his breath, Felix who looks terrified and Seungmin with a worried expression. Hyunjin and Jeongin stays by Chan’s side, looking at him expectedly.

The leader is torn, he wants to run after Minho and his members, but a side of him is telling him that he should help the old woman up and apologize to the other groups for creating such a scene.

“Channi? Go find your members. I’ll take care of this.” 2pm’s Wooyoung says with a gentle hand on Chan’s shoulder.

Chan meets his eyes for the split of a second before he nods to his two remaining members and leave.

\---

He finds them back in the dorm, thankfully they hadn’t run anywhere else. Chan hears them heatedly arguing, all except Minho, in the main hall before he even enters the building. The siren has his back against the far wall, looking like a terrorized cat.

“Who was she? Don’t you dare tell us that you don’t know her!” Changbin screeches barely trying to hold back his screams.

Jisung is standing protectively in front of Minho, glaring at Changbin. “He obviously doesn’t want to talk about this. Leave him alone!”

“Oh how smart of you! The woman we’ve known for YEARS bow down to him, practically crying for dear life, and I’m supposed to just pretend it didn’t happen?”

“He’ll tell us when he’ll be comfortable!” Jisung says, but even his voice is shaking.

“WE DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HIM!” Changbin screams, pointing at Minho behind Jisung’s shoulder accusingly. “He just came out of NOWHERE! We don’t even know why he left the siren realm!”

“YOU DIDN’T KNOW WHY I LEFT THE FAIRY REALM EITHER DID YOU?” Jisung takes a step forward. Felix approaches him and slides a tentative hand in his. It manages to calm the older a bit. “You didn’t know but you still did not harass me with questions like you are doing with hyung right now!”

“We weren’t even 3racha back then so I didn’t have to worry about you because I didn’t have to trust you anyway! This is different, we are a team I do not want to risk everyone’s safety because you want to protect the prince’s oh so precious feelings.” The werewolf spits the last words almost with disdain.

Seungmin sighs heavily, grabbing Changbin’s shoulder and making him step back. “JYP is not stupid. He locked me up when he thought I created that fire. He would have done the same with Minho hyung if he really was dangerous.”

“And I had to wear an ugly green bracelet that controlled my magic for a whole fucking year just so JYP could make sure that I wouldn’t go bloody Mary and kill a bunch of people _again_.” Jisung spits out. “He doesn’t have anything on him!”

“Wait what?” Felix’s eyebrows raise high. “So that was what that bracelet was for! I had the same but mom said it was a birthday gift.”

Seungmin scoffs, as if he finds it funny. “I had to wear one for 5 years when I was a kid.”

Changbin was about to argue back when Chan makes his way to the center of the hall with strong confident steps. “That’s enough.” All eyes turn to him and the silence falls heavy. “I let you guys go on about this to get it out of your system, but that’s enough.”

“How can you just-” Changbin is gasping, as if something is physically obstructing air to make its way to his lungs. He looks distressed, eyes getting teary and Chan can smell his panic stink the air and can hear his heart beat furiously. “Hey, hey Binnie look at me.” He grabs his cheeks and make him meet his eyes. “I need you to trust _me_. _Trust_me, just like you always had. I will take care of it.” 

Changbin looks like he has stopped breathing. He stiffly nods, and a second later, he leaves the dorm.

Chan exchanges a glance with Jisung who silently nods before following after him.

“Hyunjin can you call the manager and ask when he’ll get here? Let him know that I want the exact hour of our meeting with division 1. Seungmin, Felix and Jeongin take turns with the shower. Take a 10 minutes nap if you have time, but make sure you don’t forget anything when we’ll move out.”

The four of them nods before quickly dispersing as if that’s all they had been waiting for to leave the tense hall.

“Minho?” Chan turns to face him and although he tries to make his smile as comforting as possible, Minho looks like a gun had been pointed at his forehead. “Come, let’s go to my room.”

Chan enters the room first, letting Minho come in after him and make the choice of closing the door or not. He had had too many experiences with friends that had a traumatic past, himself included. Sadly, it isn’t something rare in the supernatural world. First rule he learned, was to never make anyone feel trapped. He had worked through his body language countless of times, and he knows that in order for Minho to open his heart and trust him, Chan have to leave him the choice to make a run out of the conversation if he feels like it.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, the leader smiles gently. “Would you like to sit down?”

“I don’t need too, if you’re going to kick me out, do it now.” Minho’s face is cold, but his eyes are expressing so much things that neither of them will ever be able to say out loud.

“Should I?” Chan cocks his head, raising one if his eyebrows. “Should I kick you out Minho? You haven’t done anything, why would I do such a thing?”

The siren doesn’t speak, but there are tears swimming on the edges of his eyes.

Chan opens his arms. “Come here.”

Minho waddles his way inside his embrace, and when the secure hold wraps itself around his body, he rests his chin on the older’s shoulder.

Chan can feel him shaking.

“I didn’t do anything.” Minho whispers with a voice fighting so hard not to break and fall apart. “I promise I didn’t do anything.”

“I know.” Chan whispers, rubbing his back. “I read your eyes Min. I look at my adoptive parents the same way.”

“Like what?” Minho murmurs.

“Like they are holding a knife pointed toward me; unsure if they would use it to cut me a piece of cake or to stab me with it.”

There’s a short silence. Chan doesn’t make a single move to step back, leaving the choice to Minho. When the latter finally pulls away, he looks less tense, although weaker. As if a breeze of wind could break him.

“Why don’t you rest a bit? I’ll wake you up when we will be ready to leave.” Chan gently guides him to his bed. “Sleep in my bed. Be at ease, no one will enter this room okey?”

Minho slowly curls under the sheets, and with that, Chan leaves the room and closes the door gently behind him.

Sighing, he bits his lips in worry. Minho doesn’t have a room yet, like half of the members. He doesn’t have anywhere to run off too or call his, the very least Chan can do for him is give him a secure place to allow his mind and heart to calm themselves in. Thankfully, Minho and everyone else will have a place to call theirs as soon as they move out.

The following days pass in a blur. Their new dorm, although not five stars, is comfortable and far more spacious. The meeting with division 1 goes incredibly well, all agents and staff are nice and understanding. Outside of that, none of them had been in their new apartment, barely three or four hours to sleep in before they were leaving again for the company to train.

Three days after the infamous _Sweven_party, on the morning of the fourth one to be exact, the team is dropped in the company’s Mountains Chalet. The house is big, although not extravagant, and located in the middle of a forest. The first floor is occupied by bedrooms, and the basement with a gym and a potion room. The shooting field, just like JYP had mentioned, is located behind the house. There are three special rooms on the main floor. One of them, beside the kitchen and the stairs with a red door, is filled with guns and knives from the ceiling to the floor. The second one, to the right of the basement’s door, has computers and screens occupying the entirety of the three walls; a hacking room. The third one is an infirmary.

Once everyone is pretty much finished exploring the place, Chan claps in his hands three times. “Everyone please gather in the leaving room!”

Said living room is rather small, but large enough for all of them to fit in comfortably. There’s a big window on the wall behind the couch Chan is standing in front of.

“The roommates will be the same as the ones back home.” Chan says when they all are standing or sitting around him. Technically speaking, they are not that familiar with their new apartment yet to call it a home but referring to it as such is the first step toward it really becoming one. “Meaning, the smaller room with the queen bed is for Jisung and Jeongin, yes you two will share a bed.” He says with a huge grin when both of them groans.

“Bonding time, isn’t it amazing? It’ll ameliorate your teamwork!” Hyunjin barks a laugh to which Jisung throw a pillow at.

“Second room with the bunk bed and single bed is for me, Changbin and Felix.” He continues. Neither complains, to which Chan considers a win. The two didn’t quite have the chance to grow close yet, so them rooming together is the perfect occasion. Not to forget that Changbin trusts Felix giving the fact that he’s Jisung’s fae twin. Chan would be damned if he made him room with someone he still has trouble trusting, like Minho or Jeongin.

“Third room is for Hyunjin, Minho and Seungmin.”

Jisung explodes in laughter, pointing at Hyunjin who’s pretended to be dead.  
  
“Channi Hyung, Minho hyung will KILL ME IN MY SLEEP!” Hyunjin shouts after being convinced that Chan won’t take pity on him.

“How long will I cook you in the air fryer?” Minho asks to which Hyunjin sighs in defeat. “180 degree, 20 minutes.”

Chan claps in his hands, gathering the attention back to him. “Great, now that we know at what temperature my little brother will be cooked, take the evening off. Tomorrow, I want you in front of the house at 6am.”

“_Dismissed_.” Felix finishes in English, mocking Chan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLOOO ~
> 
> First of all, I know i made you guys wait for more than a whole month, and I'm so sorry. It was the end of the semester, and then vacation came and I was just so tired and had to write both this chapter and another interactive au I started in twitter (@orenda_au please give it a chance). So yeah, took a while but this chapter is FINALLY here. It's 9K words long so I hope it's worth the wait. 
> 
> This chapter was actually originally going to be about them training in that chalet, but then I suddenly decided to write the party thing, Chan convo with the leaders (that i LOVED writing), and the whole minho/old woman plot. The thing with me is that I don't plan much ahead, and just pulls up plot as I go lmao. So yeah next chapter is definitely going to be about training! Also please don't be mad at Changbin, you guys know what went in his life and how hard it is for him to trust people. But yeah I will sort it out next chapter. 
> 
> Now I know I talk A LOT lmao and thank you if you are still reading my note hehe 
> 
> As always, thank you for reading and comments really gives me so much strength, this story literally exists thanks to the notes you leave, so THANK YOU, and see you guys next chapter!
> 
> ps: we reached 100K words, 200 kudos and 5K hits w-wow thank you so much again


	25. Whisper Stained White Lies In My Ear

The fire is cracking within the woods put on the ground in the small circle they are forming, red golden ball of heat. Each member is sitting on wooden deck chairs, comfortably cuddled with blankets. The nightly breeze is cold, but with the training they just finished, the wind is welcomed against their warm skin.

Chan throws a glance around him. The silence is comfortable. Some are chewing on a piece of meat or a bag of blood, like Jisung, Changbin, himself and Hyunjin, others are either staring into the fire with empty lost eyes or glaring at the stars above their heads; Seungmin, Jeongin, Felix and Minho. 

Division one had given them around three months, no less than that but probably a couple days more. It had already been a month since their first arrival, and Chan is honestly proud of everyone. The only ones within the team that knew how to hold a gun were 3racha, long JYPE trainee, and Hyunjin for having been trained by Chan. Felix and Minho picked up shooting incredibly fast, as if it is second nature, although the siren still had trouble with the loud noise the gun made each time. Seungmin and Jeongin were decent at it, and they learned far quicker than any other trainee normally would. Hacking was Changbin’s specialty, and in a team, one was plenty enough, but Chan insisted so the rest can learn basic tricks in case of emergencies. To everyone’s surprise, Jeongin happened to be an excellent hacker. He had confessed that he had watched and learned a lot from his older brother, who was an engineering technologist. The Yang for being one of the family founders of Busan, required their children to excel in almost everything. Seungmin specialized the past 30 days in potions and healing. He insisted that all the team, one by one, learned first aid and how to treat a gun and a knife wound. He even taught the magic users, Jeongin, Jisung and Felix, basic healing spells.

Overall, training had gone pretty excellent. After all, it isn’t a first for any of them; 3racha had trained with JYP for quite a while, Minho received the proper education of a prince, Hyunjin had been trained by Chan and the numerous tutors his parents made him go through, Felix has quite a lot of experience for having practically being raised by the laboratory, Seungmin had been taught a lot about magic and healing in the orphanage, and Jeongin is a Yang. The only two things that still lacked is their teamwork, and something major Chan had planned to start the next month; the limits and capability of Fae twins magic, and Seugmin’s fire.

Trust in each other is the first step to ameliorate their teamwork, and it’s something Chan can get to right at this moment. So here he is, 8 black files on his lap, ready to get this done with.

“I gathered you all here because I have something really important to discuss.”

All eyes focus into his. Jisung looks smaller than he actually is, legs pressed against his chest, yellow scarf around his neck. Felix, sitting beside him, has an identical red one.

“During my last meeting with JYP, he gave me these.” He lifts the files for everyone to see.

“Is that your name on it?” Changbin asks from where he is glaring at the first folder atop.

“Yes.” Chan says, starting to pass them around the circle. “Every file has one of your names on it. Take yours.”

His own on his lap, he carefully watches as everyone take and examine theirs. “JYP wanted me to have them to know all about your darkest secrets.” The silence falls, and they lift their eyes back to his. Seungmin looks terrorized. “I couldn’t do that. If I want us to be a family like team, I can’t go behind your backs. I believe that trust is something that should willingly be given.”

Chan smiles warmly as best as he can with the tension in the air. “I want each one of you to open your document and read it. One by one, I want you to share what you want too. If there’s anything you’d like to keep to yourself, I respect that.” He throws a glance to Changbin who’s staring at the floor, expression troubled. “The file is then yours, I don’t want it back.”

The wolf lifts his head and the leader continues. “I want you to keep in mind that whatever they contain, the company has already made its investigation about each one of you and deemed that all eight of us are trustworthy and not an immediate danger to the other.” He meets Changbin’s eyes. “Which means, that I would like you to respect the other’s decision not to share everything.”

He leaves the silence hanging between them, giving time for everyone to adjust and comprehend.

“Does anyone want to start? If not, I can go first.”

The members look at each other, but no one speaks. They all seem hesitant and scared.

“We can go by age order.” Minho proposes.

Everyone nods.

Chan takes a deep breath, smiles, and open his. He already knows what kind of information is inside. He is terrified of sharing it with all of them, but his face stays welcoming and warm. They deserve to know everything about the man who’s going to lead them.

The first page is a picture JYPE took a couple of years ago, accompanied by basic information.

“The picture they choose is horrible, that’s something we can start with.” He chuckles, followed by a couple of laughs around the circle.  
  
“I want to see it!” Jeongin exclaims excitedly. “You never know when you’ll need blackmail content.”

Chan lifts toward him warm eyes and a found smile before he goes back to the file. “My name is Bang Christopher Chan. I was born a human in 1997. My parents were called Lee Emelia and Bang Jihoon. They-” he exhales a shaky sigh. “They were hunters.”

He doesn’t lift his eyes, not finding the strength too. “They did a lot of harm, and there’s a resume here that I’m not going to read.” He flips the page. “When I was seven, they tried to attack a very powerful pureblooded vampire family; the Hwang, Hyunjin’s parents.”

Hyunjin suddenly stands up, and Chan’s eyes shoot up to him. For a moment, he is terrified that he is going to leave or worse, scream at him, but his younger brother approaches the back of Chan’s seat and wraps himself around his shoulders, chin on the top of his head.

Chan holds the hand that has fallen on his chest as he continues. “It says here that Lee Emelia and Bang Jihoon got taken care of, and their son Bang Chan got turned into a vampire and adopted by the Hwang.” He turns another page, taking a deep breath. “I joined JYP when I was 13.” He closes the file, finally lifting his head. “That’s it. The end.” He forces a smile. “The rest you’re already aware of. I told you everything, so you can read my file if you want too.”

To his surprise and comfort, no one is scooting a shocked expression. It eases the weight in his chest. “Any questions? Don’t hesitate.”

Minho hesitantly lifts his arm, and when Chan encourages him with a smile, he lowers it down as if they are back in school. “I’m sorry if this is harsh, but how can you bare live with the people that killed your parents and turned you into a vampire?”

Chan can instantly feel Hyunjin tense behind his back. Taking his hand in his, he squeezes it comfortably. “Mr. and Mrs. Hwang did what was right. My parents were murderers. They destroyed countless of lives and families. The Hwang welcomed me in their homes and I’m thankful to them. It was hard and confusing at first, but they took the time to explain everything to me and even payed me a therapist. I’m good now as you can see.” He gives around the circle a warm light smile. “I understood that as I grew up.”

“Were you there? When they killed them?” Felix asks with a small voice.

Chan shakes his head. “We were in a chalet in the middle of the woods. I was hidden in a closet in my room. The fight happened in the woods. I didn’t really hear anything, nor did I see blood or their bodies.” He looks down at the fire. “I only remember Mrs. Hwang’s smile.”

Chan remembers her red painted nails matching her red lips. He remembers only being able to see her face and her smile as she opened the door of the closet he had been hidden in. He remembers her crouching on the floor in front of him, calmness radiating off her in big strong waves. ‘It’s over now.’ She had whispered, gently holding his small trembling hand in his. ‘It’s over.’

He hadn’t understood what she meant by those words, but he remembers erupting in tears of relief. 

“How was it?” Hyunjin asks, hugging him tighter. “Being turned?”

Chan shakes his head again. “I don’t know. I only felt a sting as if a needle had pricked me. Then I woke up in their house. Getting used to the hunger and everything that came with being a vampire hurt the most. Having to accept that I won’t ever see my parents again. Getting adjusted to the new country, new home, new language.” This time, the smile he scoots is lighter. “Having Hyunjin as a cute little brother helped a lot.”

The silence settles between them, somehow calming. Hyunjin tightens his hold around his brother’s shoulders with his long arms one last time before he goes back to his seat.

“It’s my turn then I guess.” Minho says with a tight voice. He sighs in exasperation as he opens his folder. His eyes flies across the paper quickly. “I am the youngest of 23 siblings. 13 older brothers and 10 older sisters.”

Jisung’s eyes widen comically to which the mermaid scoffs at.

“Yeah, that much. King Poseidon has a lot of wives and lovers. We almost all come from different women.” He examines the paper in his hand silently for a second. Chan can hear the way his heart skips a beat, but when Minho talks again, his voice is even and emotionless. “It says here that they contacted the castle, to let his highness know about my whereabouts when JYPE located me in the auction. The answer they received is and I quote; _His Highness King Poseidon instructed me to inform you that his youngest child Lee Minho is as good as dead and that you can do whatever you want with what’s left of him.”_

Minho starts laughing, quietly, and then loudly as his voice climbs in the sky above their heads. It’s a humorless laugh, one filled with so much pain that Chan can hear his heart break and tear itself apart. He has an urge to lounge forward and envelop him in his arms and never let go.

“I’m sorry to disappoint if you had any expectations of a story worth Hollywood, but there’s not much tearfully interesting reasons behind my escape of the mermaid realm.” The prince says when he has calmed down, a smirk still pulling the side of his lips. “I left because I was nothing more than a ghost. I left because I wanted to breath. To take decisions on my own because_I_wanted and choose too. To feel dry grass under my feet and understand the pain that hunts the sailor’s eyes when they absently stare into distance and let escape their droplet of tears into my salty waters.”

There’s another silence. No one utters a word.

“Yeah.” Minho finally says, sighing. “I tried to leave multiple times but failed. Eventually, I succeeded. I lived and slept wherever I could, and I met more kindhearted people on the streets than I’ve met in my whole life in the castle. One day, someone started suspecting that I wasn’t quite human, and I ended up in that auction. The rest you know of.”

“Then what about grandma?” Changbin asks in a voice barely above a whisper. His words hold no bite. “You both looked shaken up. How do you know her?”

Minho turns his eyes to look at Changbin who persistently keeps them fixed to the floor. “She was my nanny. Raised me and watched me grow more than my own mother ever casted her eyes on me.” He scoffs. “She tried to poison me, but unfortunately she didn’t succeed.”

Everyone audibly gasps, mouth falling open in shock. Chan can feel his heart fall at his feet. The women he had grown so used to, that had served him so much sweets and hot chocolate, to who he had offered so many genuine smiles, a runaway murderer? And Minho’s complete lack of reaction, as if it was something usual like coffee in the morning.

“U-unfortunately?” Jisung stutters, orbits shaking.

Minho shrugs. “When I was locked in that small aquarium. When they electrocuted me again and again just to show me off in front of hundreds like a fascinating fish. All those moments, yeah, I thought it was unfortunate that she failed. I didn’t want to die I just-”

“you just wanted it to end.” Felix completes, eyes full of unshed tears.

Minho nods with a small broken smile. “I have you guys now, and as that I look back at it, I realize that it had been just a bad chapter in my life. I’m thankful for surviving through it.” He brings his legs to his chest, cuddling his hot chocolate close to his chest.

“Did she run away? Is that why she’s here now?” Seungmin risks asking.

“No.” Minho mutters. “They didn’t have enough proof to hang her, and she didn’t act against the crown prince or any other of my siblings of great importance, so they just exiled her.”

“Why- Why would she do that to you? You said that she raised you? How could anyone do that to someone who is like their own child?” Hyunjin raises his voice, leaning forward in his chair in anger.

“I told you, I’m the youngest, has always been a ghost secluded to one of the lest frequented part of the castle. I wasn’t of much importance to her nor to anyone really. She thought that if she could get rid of me, they would give her another one of my siblings to serve and she would climb up the hierarchy.”

Chan reaches forward and rests his hand on Minho’s. “I will send a letter to the company tonight. She will pay for her crimes.”

But Minho shakes his head again, looking defeated. “There’s no point. She grew old now, and she doesn’t have any motivation to hurt anyone else anymore. I understand why she did it, and I do not blame her for it.” He stares afar, eyes unfocused. “I was shocked and embarrassed when she bowed to me and started whiling and screaming. I do not want people to lower their heads in front of me.” He scoffs and looks at Chan. “I told you that the first time we met.”

Jeongin giggles, and it’s so sudden and beautiful that Chan feels like he is witnessing a rainbow during a storm. “_Do I look like a fucking prince to you? I look like a golden fish thrown down the toilet because its 5years old owner thought it was dead”_He says, imitating Minho’s grumpy voice. “That’s what he said.”

Jisung erupts in laughter, following his lead to ease the broken hearts. “I would pay to see it. No, forget it, I can already picture it in my head.” He lifts his hands in front of him as if staring at someone appearing into thin air.

Chan forces a smile. He promises himself to still send a letter about the old women to the company.

“Anyway, let’s start with mine before this conversation goes off the road.” Changbin says, folder on his lap. “There’s nothing much to know about me, other than I have huge trust issues.” He tries to keep his tone light, but his voice shakes. He clears his throat before continuing. “I was kidnapped by my father’s closest friends when I was a pup. He is an alpha and they were his betas. They didn’t do anything, left me in a cabin in the middle of nowhere, miles away from home.”

Changbin turns his eyes to Minho’s. “Trust is extremely important to wolves. We are made to live in packs and are raised like a big family. That incident broke me, and I started to see evil everywhere; _‘What if mom will be the next one to hurt me?’ ‘What if the merchant that had been selling his handmade jewelleries for twenty years is a spy?’_” He doesn’t look away, but his eyes fill with guilt. “I’m still struggling with it and I started being extremely protective of the people that my broken mind can finally find the strength to trust.”

He turns his head to face Seungmin. “You remember when we went to my pack? When that asshole tried to attack you and Ji?”

Seungmin stiffly nods.

“Yeah well, what you saw then was me completely losing it. Another wolf would have beaten the shit out of him out of instinct to protect his own, I am different. My eyes went completely black and I had no control over my body, entirely focusing on _killing _him. I just go berserk when someone tries to hurt my pack.”

Chan leans forward, observing Changbin with kindness and understanding. “Who’s your pack Changbin?”

Last update it was him and Jisung, maybe even Seungmin. Now, with all the new members, Chan wants to make sure to know where Changbin is standing. The last thing he wants is to overwhelm him when he knows how much the younger struggles with strangers. Guilt sizes his guts at discarding Changbin the past few months, but everything had happened so fast and the members had joined them unexpectedly one after the other.

Changbin turns his eyes toward Chan. His eyes glitch to complete black orbs before they go back to their normal color.

“You are my alpha.” He says, to which Chan smiles at. That much he had known. Even if the wolf is still attached to the pack he was born and raised in, he had detached himself from them when he had left for Seoul and JYP. It is unheard of for a wolf to recognize a no-wolf as their alpha like Changbin does with Chan, and the latter is well aware of the utmost respect and honor that significate.

“Jisung, Seungmin, Hyunjin, they are of great importance to me.” He stays silent for an agonizing second. “Felix is Jisung’s other half. Jeongin and Minho, I care for them I really do.” He throws a glance around the circle. “I want to trust you guys without a single thought. I want too. I do care for you, but it’s still hard for me. I need more time to adjust and get to know everyone better.”

Surprisingly, it’s Minho that comfort him first. “Go at your own pace, there’s no need to rush things. The best relationships are built up upon hardships and time.”

Changbin nods gratefully, a light blush adoring his cheeks. “I’m done. Does anyone have any question?”

“How are we supposed to act when you…” Felix hesitates. “lose control.”

“If I’m fighting, then don’t approach me, I don’t want to accidently hurt you. If I’m just injured and barks my teeth at you, it’s because I’m scared. My wolf and I would never purposefully do you any harm even when I’m not fully aware of my actions.” Changbin regards them with confidence. “My wolf will always recognize you as his kin.”

He casts his eyes back to the floor. His cheeks going pink at the smiles and cheers he receives. “Can we continue with Hyunjin?” he asks, trying to get the attention off of him.

Hyunjin sighs dramatically, throwing a disgusted look to his folder. “It barely has anything in it.”

Jisung explodes in laughter as him and Felix simultaneously lifting theirs. “Lix and I can publish this into a novel. It would be a best seller.” Indeed, their documents are so thick that some papers threaten from falling off.

Hyunjin throws him a playful side glare. “What I want to share you with is not here.” He sighs before taking in a deep breath. “I was often kidnapped when I was a child. My parents always had a lot of enemies. The biggest one was right before Chan hyung joined us.” He lifts his eyes to his older brother who gives him an encouraging smile. “After that incident, I developed two phobias; Achluophobia and Autophobia.”

“The fear of darkness and the fear of being alone or lonely.” Seungmin whispers, staring at his lap from where he is sitting in between Felix and Chan.

“Yeah…” Hyunjin runs a hand in his hair. “For my Achluophobia, it’s not something like turning off the lights before sleeping, but complete darkness that I can’t stand. Or a dimly lit place somewhere unknown.” He starts playing with his fingers, not looking up. “I won’t let it affect work, so you don’t have to worry about it.”

“We all have imperfections that can affect our job Jinnie.” Chan says gently. “What we need to work on is how to help and fill in each other’s weakness.”

“What should I do if we ever get locked in a dark room during a mission? For example, are you okay with us touching you?” Jeongin has leaned forward on the edge of his seat.

Hyunjin doesn’t meet his eyes, running his gaze on the grass above his feet. “Remind me that I have a night vision, I tend to forget and not active it when I’m freaking out.” He attempts a shy smile to his team. “Make me realize that I’m not alone, touches are okay even if I might startle at first.”

The rest of his team members either nods or mumbles words of agreement. “This feel like a therapy group.” Jisung says, smiling widely. “We should go for therapy when all of this is done.”

No one asks when this is. They all know that there’s no visible end to the life-threatening missions, no real rest in this job of theirs. Yet, they let float the illusion that one day, in some sort of way, there will be an end to it all. 

“What about your Autophobia? What can we do to help?”

Hyunjin stares at Minho with wide stunned eyes. He smiles shyly. “If I’m sad or angry after an argument, I would appreciate it if you don’t leave me alone for too long. I tend to overthink and spiral down.”

There’s a comforting silence.

When no one says anything more, Jisung takes over the conversation. “My turn I guess.” He turns his head to Felix who already had been staring at him. “Do you want to do this together Lix?”

Felix nods, reaching to hold his twin’s hand.

“I guess all of you already know what happened to us. We don’t feel like going through everything again, so if anyone have questions, it would be easier for us.” Jisung throws a glance around the circle, waiting for anyone to speak.

It’s Seungmin that does. “How was it, having to endure all these years in the research lab? You don’t have to answer, but what was it that they made you go through?”

The twins exchange a look, a silent conversation seeming to happen in their minds.

“They made us run through a lot of different tests.” Felix says, not breaking his gaze from Jisung who seem to be encouraging him. “Somedays it was injections and liquids that made our guts burn and our eyes go blind for hours up to days. Other times, they would lock us in a burning or freezing room.”

He turns his head to the bunch fire. The heat seems to grow in intensity.

“They would threaten one of us with the other to push us to our limits and make us do whatever they wanted. ‘_If you don’t burn this whole 10 store building by simple mind, your twin brother will burn to death inside it_.”

Chan closes his eyes, forcing his nausea and anger back down.

A long string of flame climbs higher to the sky under Felix’s glare and a low growl resonates from Changbin’s throat.

“That’s torture.” Jeongin whispers in utter shock, carefully slipping his hand under Changbin’s. He mumbles incomprehensible words under his breath, a honey light leaving his palm and fingers to slip into the wolf’s hand. Chan doesn’t know what he exactly did, but Changbin tense muscles ease.

“We were between ten and 15 years old. Children nor teens should be capable of accomplishing the tasks they asked form us, but they would constantly drug us with magic boosters. With threats and terror.” A tear rolls down Felix’s freckles. Jisung slowly bends over his chair to whip it. “Eventually, we were meant to break.”

Jisung takes over. “One day, we had an overdose from all the enhancers they had given us. We went… berserk.” He says, using Changbin’s choice of word. “We weren’t really realizing what we were doing. Our mind and muscles were numb with the desire to survive. To revenge. To kill everyone who did that to us.”

Felix hides his face behind his hands. “We are monster-”

“You are _survivors_.”

Felix snaps his head toward Chan.

“You are survivors. Both of you. The strongest people I have ever met, and not because of your magic.” Chan’s eyes turn red, veins becoming visible on his clutched arms. “If the monsters that did that to you were still alive, I would slaughter them myself.”

His words are approved by Changbin’s low growl.

“It was legitim defense.” Minho adds, smiling sadly yet warmly. “You did what you had to do and none of us will judge you on that.”

“I still do not understand how your government punished you for _defending_yourselves.” Jeongin pesters while continuing to rub Changbin’s hand trapped in his.

“They deemed that it was too dangerous to keep us together. The black wings are meant to not only humiliate us for the rest of our lives, but to disrupt our magic.” Jisung throws a glance to Felix who responds with an attempt of tugged lips.

“Fae magic is meant to be Light. But because of the black wing, your magic has been divided into Dark and Light.” Hyunjin whispers, remembering what he had heard in the auction for what now feels ages ago.

Jisung nods. “It’s really hard to balance the two.”

“Have you- Have you used it yet?” Felix asks hesitantly.

“No, I’ve been only relying on what I have left of Light magic.”

Chan’s voice is eager and thrilled when he speaks. “We can all work through it together. Help you learn and control it. That’s actually what I had planned for this month’s training.”

Felix bits his lower lip, looking unsure. “What if we lose control again?”

“We all have lost control a handful of times.” Jeongin scoffs a lighthearted laugh. “That’s why we train. If you fear the bumps along the road, you will never learn to walk.”

“Besides, I find the black wing absolutely gorgeous.”

Felix and Jisung sends Hyunjin frowned eyebrows. Follows bickers and interrogations about how he knows that, all dodged by the vampire who doesn’t dare mention what he had seen in the auction. 

Chan let them fight and laugh, taking pleasure in the tension that leaves the air. He could never be enough grateful of the way this meeting had gone so far. Giving them their files was the right decision after all.

Though Chan is forced to ask for the silence.

“It’s late everyone and we have early training tomorrow. Let’s finish with this meeting alright?”

He receives a few nods in response. His eyes settle on the member that is supposed to speak next, but he is strangely silent.

“Seungmin?”

The witch lifts wide scared eyes to him. Like a thief caught stealing. His fingers tighten on his closed file.

“I don’t have any memory before my 8 years old. The only think I can ever remember is being brought to the institution.” His eyes fall, looking ashamed. “If some of you might not now, the orphanage me and Jisung lived in is meant for orphan minors whose powers are deemed too dangerous and uncontrollable.”

His voice wavers. “I don’t know what I did to be brought there. I don’t remember. I know It must be related to fire but I don’t-” He swallows down a sob. “I don’t have the courage to open this and face the truth.”

Seungmin lifts his head to face his leader’s sad eyes. He takes comfort in Felix’s hand rubbing his back and tries to even his voice. He stands up and walk toward Chan, stopping right in front of him and holds out the folder. 

“I want you to read it first. To judge for yourself if I am worthy of being part of this group or not.”

“Seungmin…” Chan whispers, at a loss of words. It feels like someone is digging their fist into his chest.

“Have it. Please. Whatever I did during my lost memories, I want you to judge it. If you then ask me to leave, I will accept it.”

Chan stands up. He wraps his arms around the witch who melt in his embrace, the hand still holding the folder falling by his side.

“I’m sure it will be fine.” Minho says with a light voice. “All Seungmin can do is burn the cookies and mess up the milkshake.”

The rest of the team cracks a laugh, and even Seungmin smiles. Chan reluctantly lets him go, carefully accepting the folder. He’ll have a look at it in a private place around the house at some oddly hours of the night while everyone else is sleeping.

“Let finish with me and we can all go to sleep.” Jeongin claps in his hands enthusiastically.

Seungmin attempts to go back to his sit but he gets caught and trapped by Felix’s arms before he can make much steps back. He doesn’t fight it, letting Felix folds his limbs around him like an octopus.  
  
“Though I’m not sure you can sleep well after my story.” Jeongin whispers in a low tone, evil sparkling in his sharp eyes.

“Oh no.” Hyunjin whines, pressing his long legs against his chest. “If this going to have ghost stories, can I leave?”

The elf takes in a fake offended expression, the hand that isn’t holding Changbin’s is pressed above his heart. “I want everyone to listen to my life story.”

Hyunjin and Jisung rolls their eyes as Felix, Minho and Chan snicker.

“So I am the son of the Yang, one of the founders of Busan.” He smirks. “We are not as rich as the Jeon or Park, they have Jeon Jungkook and Park Jimin after all, but my family are kind of wealthy. I’m not bragging but it can be of use to us.”

Changbin claps in his hands, retreating it form Jeongin’s. “That’s amazing! I wanted a Rolex.”

Chan raises an eyebrow. “You are the son of an alpha. One of the strongest pack. You can afford your Rolex.”

“Yeah but I kind of cut ties with them remember? When I ran off to Seoul? Or did you miss that part in my tearful life story?”

Jeongin ignores them. “The first ghost I saw and remember was a man wearing a black suit. I was about 4 and he had that weird blank face that never smiled.”

Chan shivers, recoiling back from the younger’s eyes that glint behind the fire. “He used to show up late at night in my room, stand in the corner and observe me as I slept.”

Hyunjin abruptly stands up. He runs toward Jisung before he throws himself on his lap. The fae grunts and curses, but once the pain he received from the vampire’s elbow in his stomach fades, he wraps his arms around his waist while Hyunjin wraps his around his neck.

“Were you never scared of him?” Felix asks, face hidden behind Seungmin’s shoulder. The latter just looks tired, not an ounce of fear on his face.

“I just thought he was protecting me. He never did anything other than stand there and observe.”

Chan scowls and Minho raises an eyebrow. “That’s creepier.”

IN shrugs. “That man was nothing. I remember a tall bulk woman with short black hair that used to show up in my dreams all the time. We made a lot of noises during the day with my siblings and cousins and she didn’t like that.” His voice is low, entertaining the suspense. “Or those twins that-”

“C-can we get to the important part of your folder?” Chan mumbles. Horror stories had always been his weakness. Maybe he can cuddle one of the members to sleep tonight. Felix liked cuddles. He wouldn’t say no to cuddles right?

A loud laugh bubble from the youngest’s chest. “There’s nothing of much importance in my folder. I was cursed by some witches and stayed in coma for a year while my soul was trapped in a haunted mansion before you came and saved me. But yeah everything else in my life was boring.” He waves his hand, as if he is chasing a fly while gossiping about a recent very boring movie. Minho and Felix, for not having been there at the time, raises their eyebrows in surprise but Jeongin discards them with a laugh. “You can read my folder or ask the others.” He is about to speak again when he abruptly stops, looking at something behind Hyunjin’s head.

“Wh-what? What are you looking at?” the vampire whips his head around, tightening his hold around Jisung’s neck.

“There’s someone behind you.”

Chan bits his lips to refrain a laugh. He can see the glint of mischief in Jeongin’s eyes. “The ghost said to stop eating my strawberries.”

Hyunjin shouts in offence at being pranked, chasing after the younger at they both sprint to the house.

“TRAINING AT 6!” Chan shouts after them, stretching and yawning. He turns his eyes to Felix. “Cuddles?”

Felix sighs in relief. “Thought you would never ask.”

\---

The next morning, the wind is strong. The sun is shining above their heads, not procuring a single ounce of warmth, as if it is there only to fool the world bellow it. The forest around them is loud, as it always is. The river is racing against the wind, thrashing on the rocks that comes in its way. A family of birds is passing above their heads, traveling toward a place that would welcome them in its warmth. Here, It has gotten too cold for their frail wings and lively chants.

“Are you sure you want to do this with all of us present?”

Chan has to ask again. He can feel the pressure building under the twins’ tense muscles.

Felix stiffly nods but it’s Jisung who answers. “We’re sure. You can all control us if things go wrong.”

“Alright.” Chan says in a breath. He throws a glance around the field. Jisung and Felix are standing in the middle of a circle made by the rest of the members, all expression focused on the two Fae.

Felix hasn’t opened his wings nor used magic in the past 5 years. Jisung has summoned them only a handful of times, using magic right and left.

Though it isn’t this fact that scares Chan.

Jisung has grown to be disgusted by his wings. He can’t stand seeing them nor feel them pressed against his skin. As for Felix, it is his first time, or probably second, to see his black wing. Chan can only hope that their anticipation and fear will be eased by the presence of the team.

“It’s whenever you’re ready.”

There’s a tense silence.

Felix turns his head to Jisung. He offers a shaky smile and reaches his hand to his. Jisung takes it with a trembling one.

Then, they both close their eyes. Their lips are moving, but Chan can’t hear what they are saying.

There’s a shift in the air. The wind picks up, whistling louder in their ears. It pulls at Chan’s clothes, ruffling his blonde hair. He stays steady on his feet, face frozen in concentration. He doesn’t have to look to feel his members besides him. He can hear each of their heart beating in unison, can smell their fear and thrill, can locate their presence by simple sense.

Magic is usually something that cannot be seen, yet, there’s a glow of light englobing the twins. Chan can feel his ears piercing by the sheer pressure.

Suddenly, in the split of a second, a pair of wings start forming on the twins’ bare back. They appear from under their skin, tearing it open to embrace freedom.

Chan’s stone face breaks. He winces. It must hurt.

Felix’s and Jisung’s face are painted with droplet of sweat, their eyes squeezed shuts.

Jisung’s wings are freed first, but he doesn’t stretch them, instead he keeps them folded on his back. Felix’s takes more time unfolding and the bones moving painfully slowly. The sparks of magic around Jisung moves, going toward Felix.

It’s only when his twin’s wings are ready that Jisung allows his to stretch.

Their wings expand at the same time.

They excel such a majestic beauty and magic power that Chan can’t help but take a step back.

One of the wings is bright, golden and sparkling. The other is jet black, contrasting from the brightness of her twin with her own dark glow. When expanded at their full length, they are as wide as Chan’s outstretched arms.

Felix opens his eyes first. He throws a cautious glance above his shoulder, and his face breaks. Jisung opens his, stroke by the disappointment coming from his twin through the soullink.

“They used to be so beautiful.” Felix mumbles, eyes tearing up.

Chan can only open his mouth in shock, eyes wide open in bewilderment.

They must be blind.

“Are you blind?” Minho shouts, eyebrows frowned. He breaks the circle when he takes a step forward.

Felix and Jisung startles, flinching back.

“They are fucking gorgeous.” He shakes his head, as if forcing himself back in reality. Chan can understand him, he is still starstruck. “I’ve never seen anything like it. Not even Poseidon’s palace is this beautiful.”

A laugh bubbles from the twins and the tension breaks. The rest of the members take a streak toward them, expression open in genuine wonder and amazement.

“You’re lying.” Felix says in the middle of two giggles.

Minho raises an eyebrow. “I’m a prince. I don’t do lies.”

“So what was it when you said you didn’t eat the last brownie? Or when you said you didn’t cheat on your race against Changbin?”

Minho throws him a glare making Hyunjin flinch back to hide behind Seungmin. “You want to eat tissues.”

“Back to the subject at hand.” Jeongin says before they start bickering. “Your wings are absolutely gorgeous. You have nothing to be ashamed of.”

“They are kind of badass.” Seungmin says, trying to free himself from Hyunjin’s tight back hug. “Makes you look like you can kick ass.”

“Also makes you stand out from the fishes in the sea you know.”

Minho throws Hyunjin an offended glare. “I’ll make you realize that the fish in the sea are all different. Do I look like nemo to you?”

They start fighting back and forth, but Chan can’t pay attention to them. His eyes are still fixed on the wings. It feels like there are sparks inside his chest, numbing all his body. They are so beautiful. More than any words can express. The wings are. Jisung and Felix are. Their smiles, their courage and strength. His members are beautiful. Their laugh is. Their growing bond. Their support to each other. His group is so fucking gorgeous and he doesn’t know what he possibly did to deserve them.

“Hyung”

They all stop talking at once, turning their eyes to him.

Chan blinks, and responds to Jisung with a teary smile.

“They are beautiful. I can’t tear my eyes from them.”

He turns around, giving them his back as he whips his eyes.

Clearing his through, he attempts to stand straighter. “Anyway, let’s get back to training. Everyone take back your position.”

They spend the rest of the morning testing the twins’ magical capacities. Jeongin and Seungmin guide them through it, from lifting a small bowl to trying to push one of them. Felix and Jisung are both using their light and dark magic, making everything all the harder for them.

Chan instructs the other to leave the four alone when he is sure that they can take care of themselves. By the time he visits them in the afternoon where they are training in the edge of the forest, their whole bodies is drenched in sweat as they pant heavily.

“Hyung! Hyung! Look!” Jisung shouts when Chan is close enough.

The fae’s eyebrows frown in concentration, and Chan stares in amazement as Jisung’s feet leaves the ground. He doesn’t fly high, but it’s the best he did in years.

“Ji that’s amazing!” Chan shouts in excitement.

“It’s all thanks to Jeongin. He is so good in magic.” Felix flaps his wings to make him fly at the same height as Jisung.

Jeongin dismisses them with a hand. “We’re not even halfway there.”

“They are getting back in shape incredibly fast.” Seungmin adds, face proud.

Chan smiles at them as he stretches his hand in the air to ruffle Jisung’s and Felix’s hair.

“There’s something I wanted to talk with you about.” He tries to keep his voice light. “If you guys want, I can talk with division 1 to get you magic bracelets.”

The four of them don’t say anything so Chan continues.

“They are often used by both the trainees and the artists who are especially powerful in order to restrain their magic.”

“Like the one I used to wear?” Jisung asks with frowned eyebrows to which Chan shakes his head to.

“Not exactly. The one you had prevented you from doing even basic magic.” He runs a hand in his bleached hair. “This one leaves you a larger range of freedom. It only stops you when you reach a certain percentage of magic, preventing you from going too far.”

Jeongin snaps his fingers. “I have heard of them! Basically, let says it requires 10% of your magic to burn a building. The bracelet will prevent you from going over 90%. It injects something in your wrists that forces you to go down to 85%”

Felix, Jisung and Seungmin seems to ease with his smile. “That way, you can go all in without being scared of going overboard.”

“A lot of JYP agents have used it.” Chan eagerly nods. He starts counting on his fingers. “Jihyo, Sana, Momo, Jae, Wonpil, Jackson” He smiles wider, laughing loudly. “Bambam as well! He used to turn into a snake every time he got too tired or upset. The bracelet helped him a lot.” He waves his hand in dismay. “Well it can be anything. A ring, a necklace, a piercing. You can customize it. Mine was an earring.”

“You had one Hyung?” Felix asks with wide curious eyes.

“Of course! It kept me at bay when I was a freshly turned vampire.”

Jisung, Seungmin and Felix shares a look.

“I think it would be a great idea to have one.” Seungmin says to what the others nod.  
  
“Great! I’ll give our manager a call.”

The rest of the month pass by in a flash. All the members have mastered all the skills necessary, and after a handful of group training, Chan can confidently say that they are more ready than he ever expected them to be. Their bond to each other has grown stronger, and after the end of their training, it’s as if they have known each other for years.

Changbin had even growled at a door Minho had smashed his head into.

Strangely, the next morning, the door was gone.

Their manager came to get them in two vans, looking incredibly bored and annoyed like he always had been.

While the rest of the members are getting their luggage in the car and fighting who sits where, Chan takes the occasion to pull Seungmin aside.

“Am I in trouble?” The witch asks in a small voice when they are standing a safe distance from any ear.

“No of course not.” Chan shakes his head.

There’s a second of shared smile before the leader finds the strength to talk again. “I have read your file Minnie.”

Fear stabs the witch’s eyes.

“And I know you are not ready to hear It yet, but I just wanted to let you know that what happened was _not_your fault.” Chan gently rests his hands on Seungmin’s cheeks where tears are threatening to spill over. “It was a terrible accident. No one can blame you for it, I won’t allow it. Not even yourself.”

Seungmin nods. His heartbeats speed up in his ribcage, racing in utter relief. He hadn’t realized that all along, he had only been waiting and waiting for someone to tell him these words.

“HYUNG!” Jeongin screams from the car, making both of them startle. “HYUNJIN STOLE MY SEAT!”

“Is your name written on it? No.” Hyunjin responds before he suddenly yelps in pain.

“You know what? Stay there. I will let all my ghost friends know that they can come haunt you.”

Chan side glance at Seungmin who’s laughing at the two. An easy smile appears on his lips.

He would do anything to protect them.

\---

“I know everyone is tired.” Their manager says as he parks in front of JYP. _‘And so am I’ _he mumbles. “But the head of division 1 wanted to talk with you about a pressing matter.” 

Chan jumps out of the car, holding the door for the rest of his members to climb off. “A mission?”

Their manager nods while balancing a cigarette on the edge of his lips. “Meeting room 801.”

Not expecting any further explanations from him, Chan does a head count of his members before he follows after them into the building.

The first person his eyes land on when he enters room 801 sends his heart crumbling to the floor.

It’s Mrs. Hwang with all her glory.

“M-Mother?” Hyunjin stutters surprised.

The women raise her right manicured hand in a small wave. She is wearing a red suit, nails painted black. Her long brown hair is cascading down her stiff straight back. She is sitting between a severe looking woman named Mrs. Lee who is the director of Division 1, and the chef of armament Mr. Kim.

For the first time in his life, Mrs. Hwang looks nervous.

Chan sits last, once all his members have taken place around the table. They leave the center position to him, and their leader thankfully takes it.

“There is a very important mission we have prepared for you.” Mrs. Lee says, pushing a folder toward Chan.

Chan opens it quickly, ignoring the red TOP SECRET printed on top. The first picture he is met with is of a 25 floors pitch black building.

“This is the High Quarter of a hunter organization that JYPE have fought against for the past 30 years.” She purses her lips, fingers crossed on top of the table. “If they were any hunter group, they would have been dealt with ages ago and none of us would be discussing this mater.”

The chef of armament leans back on his chair, making it swing around. “This particular organization have many links and collaborations within the supernatural world. Witches, werewolves, vampires, faery, and so go on.”

“Why would they work with a hunter group? One that wants their death?” Jeongin asks with raised eyebrows. He looks like he is in his natural environment, in a meeting room discussing how to take down a criminal organization. He must have done it plenty of times with the Yang family, Chan realizes.

“Anyone would do anything for money dear.” Mrs. Hwang throws a disgusted smirk.

Chan nods, quickly flipping through the folder before closing it. “You want us to take them down?”

“Oh no. You wouldn’t be able too even if we asked.” Mrs. Lee tries to summon a relaxed posture, but her shoulders are stiff. “We just want you to explore their HQ. Gather as much information as you can.”

Chan somehow can’t believe them. There’s something they are hiding from him.

He turns his eyes to Mrs. Hwang who is already staring at him. She almost looks… Sad. Guilty.

“What’s the trap?”

The woman sighs, bits her dark lipstick, and leans forward. “We can talk about it on our own.”

Chan frowns his eyebrows. His members are already standing up to leave when he grabs the wrist of the person closest to him; Minho. “No. You can talk in front of them. There’s nothing they can’t know.”

“It’s related to your private life.” Mrs. Lee insists.

Chan scoffs. They didn’t know what privacy was when they gave him the black files of his members. “There’s nothing about me they can’t know or already know of.”

Mrs. Lee is about to protest when Mrs. Hwang stops her.

“Alright.”

She sighs again. Hesitates for an agonizing long second.

“The head of this hunter organization. The one I personally fought against ten years ago, is a man.”

Chan laughs through the growing pain in his chest. “It’s always men.”

Mrs. Hwnag doesn’t smile, doesn’t smirk. “His name is Bang Jihoon.”

She reaches forward and puts her hand atop his. “Chan. Your father is alive.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO HELLO HELLO  
Yes it is I, your favorite worst ao3 writer.  
This chapter is FINALLY out, and I'm sorry for the wait! And yes I leave you with a cliff hanger MOUHAHA *evil laugh*. I had this plot twist waiting since chapter 1 and I'm SO THRILLED to finally let it out.  
I hope this 8K words chapter was to your taste and that you had fun reading it. There were a LOT of secrets and stuff revealed throughout this 100K something au, but not all 8 members were there through it all. This chapter allowed me to put everyone on the same page. A little recap as well about everyone's background. 
> 
> Like you may have noticed in the chapters counts, THERE'S TWO CHAPTERS LEFT. I don't know about you guys, but I'm super excited to finish this. I've been writing it for more than a year and I'm honestly quite impressed that I kept it up and didn't give up.  
So yeah, we're going to have a huge chapter next (prepare the tissue box), and the closing will normally be done in one chapter but it can be two, depends. 
> 
> As always, thank you so so so much for your comments they empowered me SO much last chapter really. Comments are so much appreciated and see you guys hopefully soon!


	26. Farewell Bang Chan,

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING : I added a few tags so please be aware of them. This chapter is rough. It keeps getting worse throughout the whole chapter. Don't read if you are triggered by any tag. Stay safe, love ya

“Chan” Mrs. Hwang repeated in his head. Black painted lips and a sickening face distorted by worry.

Chan never thought he would hate the day she showed the very first genuine emotion she directed to him and only him.

Yet, here he is.

It had always been fascinating, in a way, how Hyunjin her son felt too much, when she was so oblivious to such mundane feelings.

_Don’t look at me like that_, he wants to scream. _Don’t talk to me with that tone. _

It feels like he is brought back to the closet in his old family’s house, shivering in fear with long strings of tears slithering out of his eyes. It feels like he is standing in front of her again, a smile on her lips _‘It’s all over now.’ _

Or so she had said.

Chan pulls out his hand from under hers abruptly, as if he has been burnt.

“What are you saying?” he croaks like a frog being strangled.

That’s how it feels. As though her black nails are digging inside his neck like two pointed nails and he is forced to stay there and have all air whipped out of his lungs.

“You said he died. You said you killed them.” His voice is accusing. Rough. 

He once had used the same words toward Mr. and Mrs. Hwang. Years ago, when he was still 13. Only now, he isn’t blaming them for taking his parents away from him, but of not doing so when they said they did. He had felt betrayed both times, yet for opposite reasons.

“We lied.” Mrs. Hwang says in a sigh, leaning back on her chair as if the mere two words had been exhausting to utter. “We didn’t kill them Chan. We let them go.”

Chan falls back on his seat. He exhales a shaky stunned breath, eyes elevating to the ceiling as if he is about to faint. He scoffs, and then a loud laugh is trembling its way out of his chest. It resonates against the walls before it comes back crashing against his body like a boomerang. He leans forward on the table, both hands running in his dishevelled bleached hair. His hands then rubs his face, and he tries to calm himself in the process.

“Why?” his voice trembles and he almost hate it more than the lies that had been nourished to him like a vulgar fairy tale his whole life.

“Because the truth is too brutal.” She shakes her head. “We couldn’t- we couldn’t do that to you.”

Chan’s anger boils inside his chest like lava. He had never really dared to raise his voice against the Hwang, but it feels like he will suffocate if he doesn’t. “You’ve made me go through a shit tone load of bullshit. The only thing I expected from you is _honesty_.” 

The woman doesn’t say anything.

His members’ heartbeats are polluted with fear. He never allowed himself to be this upset around them.

Taking a deep breath in, he adjusts his posture. “Tell me.” He says in a controlled voice. “Why isn’t my _oh so dear father 6_ feet under?”

Mrs. Hwang hesitates for the split of a second. She then crosses her fingers, and fixes Chan with her stone-cold eyes.

“Both parties were injured. Hyunjin had been kidnapped. We were in danger, but the Bang knew we would fight till the end.”

She leaves her words hanging in the air before she continues.

“They were at a disadvantage, so they proposed a deal.”

Her eyes are on Chan, but it feels like she isn’t seeing the 23 years old man that he is. Maybe it’s the 13 years old Chris Bang that is sitting in front of her eyes.

“They traded your life for their own.”

Chan’s heart falls to his feet. His hands are shaking.

“Your mother and father wanted us to let them live, and in return, they gave us your tiny insignificant life to do wherever we wanted with it.”

Her words are like a pointed knife being stabbed in his chest. It’s moving around, reopening an old wound that had cicatrized. It’s bleeding black blood, falling all over his hands and choking his throat.

All he can hear is Mrs. Hwang’s voice. All he can see is her red eyes and face deformed by anger.

“They gave you away like a miserable object they were done using. Like a gum stuck under their shoe.”

“Stop” a familiar voice mumbles in scandalized horror. Chan faintly realises that he knows that voice. Yet, he can’t place a name or a face on it. As though he is in a cave, with only those horrid words echoing in the void again and again and again.

“Is that the truth you wanted to hear Chan? That you would never be able to repay the immense charity we gave you by letting you be Hyunjin’s shield?”

“Mother what the fucking fuck sto-”

“That you should be crying in gratitude for the life we gave you when not even your parents wanted you-”

“STOP”

Chan’s head snaps upward. His vision is blurry, but he can recognize Hyunjin’s fogged figure, chair fallen behind him in a clatter.

“STOP. DON’T YOU DARE TALK TO HYUNG LIKE THAT.”

Mrs. Hwang stands up. Chan instinctively recoils on his chair, hunching his shoulders to make himself impossibly smaller. “Hwang Hyunjin you are not talking to your mother like-”

“_You _are not talking to my brother like that. You have never been a mother to me. You were nothing but a cold heartless corpse.” There are tears running down his cheeks. Chan has the urge to lunge forward and whip them away. That’s what he had always been doing his whole life; swallow down his tears and whip Hyunjin’s.

“I will never be able to utter enough apologizes to Chan Hyung because of what a piece of shit like you made him endure.” A sob breaks Hyunjin’s voice. “I will never be able to pay him back for all the atrocities he went through because of this fucking fucked up family.”

Mrs. Hwang is about to say something when the door suddenly opens.

A tall man is standing in the doorway. He is wearing a white suit, beard calculatedly shaved. He throws a glance to his wife, to his son, then to Chan.

With a barely noticeable shake of his head toward the door, Hyunjin’s mother presses her lips in a thin line and walks out. Mr. Hwang waits until she has left the room before he follows after her. The door closes softly behind him.

Lingering tension is left in the room.

Jeongin forces Hyunjin to sit back down with a tug on his sleeve. The elf intertwines their fingers, and a warm honey light emanates from the younger’s palm to the vampire’s.

Changbin’s eyes are switching from pitch black to normal. Jisung and Felix mimics Jeongin, capturing the wolf’s hands from either side as a blue and red glow shines from their palms.

Chan takes in a deep breath. He tries to even his heartbeats and bury his feelings so they wouldn’t leak with his smell and trigger his members’ sharp senses, Changbin in particular.

“What about my mother? Is she also still alive?” he asks shakily.

Division 1 director shakes her head negatively. “She passed away a few years ago in a mission.”

_Well, one less trouble to think about, _Chan grimily thinks.

“Is that why you gave us this mission? You hope _my oh so dear father_will get out if his rat hole when he’ll hear that I’m there to look for him.”

The woman has the decency to look guilty.

Chan sighs, standing up. His team stands up by his side.

He slams his hands on the table and lean forward.

His eyes glitch red.

“Don’t expect me to bring him alive.”

\---

“Team manager it’s such a huge honor.” Chan’s voice is sleek as he bows to the annoyed looking man. “I’ve been _dying_to meet you. Working in your company has been my dream ever since I’m old enough to speak.” His hands are fervently shaking his, and it’s only when the latter glares at him that Chan lets go.

A nervous chuckle leaves his lips.

The man whips his hands in his black pants, watching the new recruits as if he is a piece of disgusting gum stuck under his shoe.

“I’m sorry, my hands tend to get sweaty when I’m stressed.” Chan fumbles with his arms awkwardly like two pieces of metals wrongly put on him. “You have to understand team manager, I have been waiting for this day ever since I’m old-”

“Yes yes” he cuts him short, looking down at him. He throws a glance to the two bodyguards standing on either side of the double glass doors. He nods.

When he finally enters the building, Chan quickly trails behind him. The pass around his neck harbours a picture of a student, blonde dishevelled hair smiling nervously at the camera.

_“CB97 is in.” _Changbin whispers to his in-ear. His fingers dances on his keyboard, switching quickly between surveillance cameras. “Snipers do you confirm?”

_“J.One confirms.” _

Changbin’s eyes glance to the roof of the building in the northern direction. The night is dark, and no one can be seen. Good. “Yongbok?”

_“Can’t see him.” _The deep raspy voice of Felix is rough in concentration. Given his location on the roof of the southern building, the front door can’t be seen. _“Seungmin and Minho are bickering though. That much I can see.” _

“Are you two serious right now?” Changbin doesn’t throw a look to his monitors, tapping quicker in the laptop on his lap.

_“Maybe if you unlocked this back door, we wouldn’t have time to argue.”_Minho sneakers in his ear.

_“Maybe if you stopped trying to convince me to transform you i__nto a cat, we wouldn’t be arguing in the first place.” _Seungmin snaps back in a low murmur. Wind blows against his body and he shivers, scouting closer to Minho who doesn’t seem to feel an ounce of cold. The witch has a theory that the ocean must be so freezing that surely some wind will do nothing to the siren. That or Minho is just a robot.

He focuses his eyes in the darkness, scouting his surroundings. He can’t see the black van Changbin is in, filled with a dozen of screens to control the team’s every move. He knows he should be relieved; f he can’t spot it, neither will their enemies, yet he can’t help but feel uneasy about it.

A clicking sound resonates quietly in the darkness, pulling him out of his thoughts.

_“Door’s open.” _Changin’s voice says in his ear.

Minho opens the back door, and with feather steps, they enter the room.

The air inside is stuffy, dirtied by time. There are boxes around the room, and the ceiling is low above their heads. Darkness engulfs the squared room in its hold, fighting against a dim lit light in front of a metallic rusted door.

“It stinks like one of those shipwreck at the bottom of the ocean.” Minho whispers, a gun held in both of his hands close to his chest.

Seungmin walks after him, observing the room. The volume of Changbin’s voice as he speaks with Hyunjin and Jeongin is lowered in his earpiece, like the comforting whisper of a radio in an adjacent room during a hot summer afternoon. 

  
“I wish I could visit a shipwreck. Like the Titanic’s. That would be so cool.”

Minho lowers himself down in front of a box, running his eyes through its content. “It’s pretty cool, I admit.” He wrinkles his nose as he pulls out an old yellowish document. “Good place to hide in. You can find jewelleries if you’re lucky. Though it’s inhabited with ghosts and it’s never a good thing to invite yourself to their home uninvited.”

The silence of their voices settles between them as they explore the room, opening drawers and kicking aside useless items. In a single box that Seungmin puts in the middle of the room, they gather inside anything that could be of use; hard drives, seemingly important files, a photo album, and a recording untitled ‘_Experiment 666_’.

The box is abandoned outside the building through the back door they used, carefully hidden behind a dumpster. They will come back to it once they are done with their mission here.

The halls beyond the storage room are long and silent. Dark with the absence of light, it’s as if a soul has been sucked out of the life they once held. Seungmin and Minho walk one behind the other with all the confidence they could muster. A badge is on their chests, fabricated carefully piece by piece by Changbin so they could pretend to be people they are not. Though with the ghosted place, it doesn’t seem much necessary.

“Why is there no one around?” Minho asks in a whisper that the pressuring silence around them demand.

Seungmin doesn’t answer. He keeps walking, heart hammering inside his chest.

He’s about to reach for his earpiece and contact Changbin when footsteps echoes down the hall.

A man is walking toward them, standing tall and posture loose. His hands are hidden in his pants’ pockets, and when he sees Seungmin and Minho, he faints a surprised face.

  
“Are all humans really this awful at acting?” Minho mumbles under his breathe.

Ignoring him for the sole purpose of not attracting further unwanted attention, Seungmin walks down the hall confidently.

“I don’t think I’ve seen you two around?” The man asks with a smirk and a raised eyebrow.

“We’re new. We started today.” Seungmin says as he points to his picture printed on the card pinned on his suit. “You can check the employee’s list. We’re in there.”

The man doesn’t answer. Seungmin ignores him. He keeps walking, Minho a few steps behind him. They don’t have anything to be scared of, Changbin really did hack both of their information in the system.

The man doesn’t move when they walk past him.

They are about to leave through the door that would take them to the upper floor when the stranger’s voice speaks.  
  
“Ah!” He exclaims in a tone that wants to make them believe that he just remembered something. His smile is fake and wide as he turns toward them, pointing a finger at Seungmin.

“Kim Seungmin!” He says in delight. “The boy who suffocated his mother to death! Of Course! How did I forget that?”

His laugh sends Minho’s heart tumbling to his feet. His chest is still. He can’t hear himself breath, can’t feel his heartbeat inside his rib cage. He turns his head to Seungmin, terrorised to see the expression his face is harbouring.

Seungmin’s eyes are wide and hunted. Disbelief is coating every inch of his being, so strongly and violently in his despair. Confusion paint an additional layer on his body as he utters a weak “What-”

“You didn’t know?” The man asks sarcastically. He takes a step forward. “Or did you forget? You were 5 at that time but surely you wouldn’t have forgotten something like that would you?”

Minho snaps out of his frozen state. He moves toward Seungmin, grabbing his shoulders and shaking them. “Don’t listen to him.”

He doesn’t receive an answer. The witch is staring at the man as if he is hypnotized. “It’s all lies DON’T LISTEN TO HIM” The siren shouts, shaking him further.

“Oh I assure you they aren’t.” The stranger scoffs. “Haven’t Bang Chan told you? How horrible of him to hide something like that.”

Minho lets go of Seungmin to stand in front of him. He tries to push down the fear crawling at his chest like a spider. There always were risks that they would get found out, and they had prepared for such possibilities, but it wasn’t supposed to happen this fast. This man was waiting for them before they even entered the building. They knew Stray Kids were coming. The only plausible explanation is that there’s a spy inside JYP.

His hands reach for his seat belt where he knows his gun is, but before he can even brush his fingers against it, the black hole of a gun aims his stomach.

The pain erupts like a flame born within him to burn him alive. He screams in agony, his body folding in half. Seungmin is screaming something, doing things Minho can’t feel nor hear. His feet guide him to the ground, gravity finally acting to take what’s hers. His vision is dark and for a moment, he can’t see nor feel anything other than agony.

His head is pressed on the cold cemented ground, and he can’t see the ceiling that he knows he must be staring at. He can’t feel the rest of his body, pain is having an iron grasp on his stomach and is dragging him under to drown him.

_Seungmin_. His mind says. _Seungmin_.

He can’t think and nothing should exist other than the soreness and throbbing, yet the name is repeating itself in his head. _Seungmin. Seungmin. Seungmin. _

The aftermath of the shock slowly disappears, giving Minho the courage to take deep breaths in.

The first thing he recognizes when the world starts forming again around him is blood. Red liquid is spattering his hands as if he had dug them in a bucket full of it. They’re shaking, and when his head lowers down to the origin, he finds his stomach throwing up liters and liters of it.

“MINHO!” Seungmin screams from somewhere Minho can’t lift his head to search for. “MINHO STAY AWAKE.”

Gunshots resonates in his ear like a scream in an opera echoing again and again until the whole world has heard it.

His legs are gone, he realises when he tries to move them but it’s his tail that swings left and right. His lower body is heavy, sucking any remaining straight Minho had hoped he could gather to make himself stand up.

Seungmin suddenly collides into him, and they both muffle a scream of pain.

“What a cute miserable pair the both of you make.” The man says towering over them. “Your so-called magic can’t do anything against a bullet can’t it?”

Minho glares at him. He wants to shout that Seungmin would have burned his gun in his hands if circumstances had allowed it. He forces his upper body up, and he spites at the man’s feet. 

He receives a violent kick to his wound, and this time he can’t hold back the scream that scratches his throat. His head hits the floor as he falls back.

“You filthy dirty fish. Should have stayed in that tank of yours.” He glares down at him, as if he’s nothing but a worm. Minho tries to set himself free but the foot on his stomach presses deeper, and the pain is so unbearable that his vision goes dark and his ears start ringing.

He lets escape another throbbing scream.

Lee Minho has grown up in castles and gold. People bowed to him; eyes casted on the floor never daring to meet his. He had been told hundreds of times that he is a superior being, that other creatures are below the sole of his feet. Ironic, given his position right now.

It’s humiliating in a way the prince had never felt in his whole life, not even when he became homeless or when he had been locked in a tank by the auction house. Back then, _at least_they didn’t know who he truly was. Back then, _at least_they stared at his tail in admiration. It had always been his greatest pride; he had received hundreds of compliments praising its royal and glorious shade of blue and purple sparkled by gold. He had never been ashamed or embarrassed by it, yet now, under the man’s disgusted glare hovered above him, he feels exposed. As if he’s naked. As if he truly is gross and hideous. As if the tail he had lived with his entire life is suddenly a foreign vile repulsive extra limb. And Minho feels oh so mortified of himself for feeling this was.

He thrashes around, but the man kicks him in his wound, ripping another scream from his victim.

“I will tell you what happened 15 years ago Kim Seungmin” The stranger says as he walks to the opposite wall where Seungmin is laying against, chest troubled by breathing he can’t control.

His shoulder is bleeding, slumped down in an old angle. He glares at his opponent mutely while looking like he’s suffocating, and he reaches for his earpiece.

“Don’t try.” The stranger says, crouching down. “Seo Changbin won’t answer. He’s dealing with his own grief right now.” He tilts his head. “Isn’t it ironic? You killed your own mother while his has been murdered by his enemies.”

Seungmin sobs. His shoulder spasm, his legs pressing tighter against himself in the hope that his whole existence would vanish into thin air.

Minho forces his eyes to stay open, but it’s only two dark figures that he sees in front of him. How did things go down this fast? If he and Seungmin have been captured, are the others also in similar positions? He tries to reach for his gun but it’s nowhere to be found.

“Seungmin” he mumbles in the last strength he has gathered, attempting to crawl toward him. It’s a lost cause, consciousness is slipping from his fingers like sand running to find its way back home on the ground.

“Do you want to know why you killed your mother Kim Seungmin?” The threatening voice says, crouching down in front of the shaking boy. “Because you didn’t want to finish your cereals. Or maybe it was because she didn’t let you watch your cartoon. It might also be because you peed on your bed and you got a scolding that you didn’t appreciate.” His breathe hovers on Seungmin’s tear trained face, terrorised eyes meeting the dreadful truth. “You murdered your innocent mother. Suffocated her to death by the smoke of a fire _you_created to trap her in her own house.”

Seungmin’s mouth is open, but nothing is spoken except muttered words of disagreement. His ears are ringing. His heart beating in his throat is threatening to spill out. All he can see is strings of fire eating the ceiling and walls. He can hear the man’s words oh so clearly even with the strident woman’s scream accompanying it.

_No_, he wants to scream.

_No, _this is not possible.

_No_, he couldn’t have possibly done that.

Yet, somehow, somewhere from within, he had always known. He had always known that whatever brought him to the orphanage must have been horrifying. Whatever might have happened that erased his whole memory must have been traumatizing. Whatever had caused him to become mute before he met Jisung must have been so horrid that his body that still remembered felt the need to punish him for his crimes.

“Your own flames would never hurt you Kim Seungmin, but they _killed_her. _You_killed your mother.”

Suddenly, it’s too much.

Seungmin’s head falls on his knees. His palms are pressed tightly against his ears. His hair is fallen over his squeezed shut eyes.

He screams.

He screams in a voice he had never used in such a way.

The last thing he sees is Minho’s unconscious body pooling in scarlet blood.

\---

It’s dark.

As if nothing ever existed.

As if nothing ever mattered.

It’s dark.

Hyunjin screams in the emptiness, but he doesn’t receive any answer. He is rolled in a tight ball in nothingness, a place so denude of light that he can’t even see his hands in front of him.

What’s reality?

What does exist and what is illusion?

Was his whole existence a trick of his brain? What did he ever live or experience?

He curls himself impossibly smaller, his head hidden between his arms and forehead on his knees. If he squeezes his eyes shut hard and long enough, maybe he’ll be able to fool himself into believing that he’s asleep.

It’s his child self that appears behind his eyelids. He is sitting in the same position, his whole-body trembling like a leaf in a violent storm. He never outgrew the terrified child he used to be, did he? 10 years later and he’s in the same state. 

This never was supposed to happen. His parents had left him with his nanny, a woman he had known his whole life. Someone that was more familiar to him than his own mother. That day, when it had been just the two of them, she had given him two extra juice boxes and a brownie. His child self hadn’t complained, accepting the gift as it had come.

He had fallen asleep, and when he had opened his eyes again, he had found himself in complete darkness, in a wide empty space as if existence had suddenly stopped existing.

Hyunjin had screamed and cried. He had called for help and begged for his parents, for anyone, but no one ever came, no noise ever reached his ears other than his own wrecked sobs.

He hadn’t been physically hurt by his kidnappers, but the scars they left behind had changed him forever. Silly, how a single incident could ruin years’ worth of events that could have made him happy and whole. Yet, here he is, limping through life like a malfunctioning mannequin with a lacking piece. 

It’s cold.

He can’t feel anything, his sense of touch gone as if everything around him is nothing but thick layers of air.

A scream of his gets intertwined with a sob. It gets stuck in his throat and he almost choke on it when warmness suddenly spreads through his left arm, making him violently startle.

Hyunjin snaps his head to look down at his skin.

There, is a honey glow illuminating the darkness like a lamp. Warmth creeps up his arm, slowly spreading through his body until it reaches his heart and he exhales a sob a relief.

“Hyunjin Hyung? I’m here. I’m right here.”

His eyes go back to focus, the light allowing him to decipher Jeongin’s worried features surrounded by the darkness. He is sitting on the floor besides him, at a safe distance as not to overwhelm him.

Hyunjin wants him to be close. He wants to feel the presence of another human. He wants to be able to feel his arms wrapped around him and the warmth spread in his chest as he trembles. He is so exhausted of the cold. Of the lack of contact and touch. He wants to feel like he exists. Like he is real.

“It’s going to be okay Hyung.” Jeongin says with a smile that makes Hyunjin cry harder. “You are not alone.” He gently brings his hand closer to whip his right cheek.

Hyunjin nods. Then, he wraps his arms around the younger’s neck, and let himself slump in his embrace.

Jeongin rubs his back as he murmurs spells the older boy doesn’t know of.

Unsurprisingly, it manages to calm him down.

“What happened?” Hyunjin whispers as if it is wrong to speak any louder.

“We are in the Hunter’s high quarters. You don’t remember?” Jeongin responds with the same tone.

Hyunjin hides his face in the younger’s shoulder. He doesn’t want to think. Doesn’t want to remember. Doesn’t want to feel the suffocating guilt of being the older one and so utterly weak.

Despite himself, he does remember.

They had infiltrated through the roof.

The very top floors of the building are mostly all either empty, abandoned offices or storage rooms for anything that didn’t want to be seen. Jeongin and himself had explored the different rooms, familiarizing themselves with the place. Changbin had hacked into the CCTV so they would showcase on repeat a deserted old tape. Jeongin and Hyunjin took the opportunity to take different pictures from all angles like JYPE had wanted them too.

The first person they had met seemed to be waiting for them in the third floor they surveyed. It hadn’t been a problem at first, Changbin and Chan had made fake badges for them and it was a part of the mission to become a familiar face to the hunters so they wouldn’t suspect them next time they infiltrated.

The two men had casually told them of a room that needed to be cleaned, and so Jeongin and Hyunjin had followed, having no other choice but to do so.

As soon as they were close to it, a syringe had been stabbed on both of their necks before they got thrown inside the room to embrace the floor.

Now the door is locked and not even Joengin’s powers or Hyunjin unhuman strength could break it open.

“What did they inject us with?” Hyunjin asks, unsure if the heaviness and dizziness he is feeling is from his panic attack or whatever they had forced in their blood. Probably both.

There’s a silence that stretches between them for a minute or two.

  
“I don’t know.” Jeongin finally says. “Some anesthetic with magic blockers. Maybe something else.”

Hyunjin takes in a deep breath. He closes his eyes, then open them and step back from the hug. It’s still so awfully dark that he needs to keep his hands intertwined with Jeongin’s as not to dissociate again. The gentle honey light is till glowing from the elf’s palms and the tip of his fingers. His eyes are heavy, and he takes more time to open them again every time he closes them to blink.

Hyunjin squeezes their hands, and gently remove his right hand to rest it around the younger’s neck. He guides Jeongin’s head toward his shoulder where the latter gratefully rests his forehead.

“What is going to happen to us?”

Hyunjin doesn’t know what to answer. He doesn’t want to sputter white meaningless lies.

“I don’t know.”

“Do you think the others are safe?” Jeongin asks again. “I tried to contact Changbin, but the earpieces stopped working and there’s no signal.”

The silence is defining. Jeongin’s hands are shaking when Hyunjin’s right hand finds its way back to them.

“What is your happiest memory with a ghost? You must have one.” Hyunjin asks instead, because he doesn’t want to have to answer him. He knows he wouldn’t have been able to lie.

“I do.”

Jeongin adjusts his head, letting it rest more comfortably on Hyunjin’s shoulder.  
  
“I was 5.”

His tone is slow and soggy. Calm and quiet. Like one would use to sing a lullaby or tell a story before bed. Hyunjin wonders for the split of a second if Jeongin has younger siblings he sang and told stories too.

“I couldn’t make the difference between the living and the dead back then. My older brother had promised to take me to the amusement park, but he forgot and went out with his friends instead. I was so upset.”

He doesn’t say anything for a long minute. Hyunjin has thought he has succumbed to the drug running in their veins when he speaks again.

Jeongin’s eyes are blinking slowly. The glow in his hands is starting to dim and a sudden wave of guilt hits Hyunjin like a storm in the stomach, making him nauseous. The elf not only is fighting against drowsiness, but he also is draining his energy with the magic he is using to keep the light around them. Though the vampire doesn’t find the strength to tell him to stop.

“So I ran away from home, convinced that I was old enough to go there on my own.” He scoffs a weak laugh. Hyunjin can barely hear him, his hearing diminishing by the dizziness. It feels like he is hearing and feeling everything from underneath the surface of the ocean. “I met this young child on my way there. We had a lot of fun and I have such a good memory of that day.”

There’s another silence.

Hyunjin doesn’t know how much time has passed.

When he manages to open his eyes again, both him and Jeongin are laying on the floor side by side.

He reaches his hand to hold his. It’s sweaty and cold. The light from his hands is barely stronger than a firefly. He squeezes it, his head too heavy to attempt to move it.

Hyunjin blinks at the ceiling.

“He wasn’t real, was he?” he murmurs between shattered lips.

Darkness takes over and this time he doesn’t feel real enough to fight it off. Maybe just like Jeongin’s ghost, he too is just a fragment of someone’s loneliness.

\---

The uneven ground is stabbing Changbin’s knees, uncomfortably in a way that convinces him it’ll leave scars.

He inhales a deep breath that doesn’t come out as calm as he may have wished it would.

“I repeat for the hundred time. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

An elbow gets shoved deep on his throat, almost hard enough to suffocate him. “One more lie, and it won’t be my arm but a knife in your neck.”

Changbin lifts his head to the left to glare at the man that’s forcing him to stay kneeled. It had to be a fucking wolf. One on either side of him. How can he fight against two adult trained wolves?

He is about to spit something back when a disapproving voice makes their head snap back forward.

“No no James c’mon. We need to stay polite with our guest.” The woman says. She is wearing a black suit, short black hair, black painted lips.

She crouches down so she is right in front of Changbin.

With a manicured nail, she runs It along his jaw, head titled and gentle smile on. “Tell me dear, what were you doing in a black van in a dark alley behind our HQ with a couple hundred monitors stalking us?”

That sounds bad. It sounds awful, Changbin knows.

They weren’t supposed to find him. It had never happened in none of the mission he attended. Heck, the van was supposed to be ensorcelled by an invisible spell. It had been, Changbin doesn’t doubt Seungmin’s, Jeongin’s, Felix’s and Jisung’s magical skills.

The woman smiling at him like a sadistic murder must be a witch, because otherwise she wouldn’t have been able to find him. Still, she knew where to look, meaning that JYP has a rat in his company.

“I wasn’t stalking you. I was just playing around with some screens. Why? Is it illegal now to be in a black van in a dark alley?”

The woman’s smile stiffens. She stands up and takes a few steps back.

“You know Changbin, I actually came to give you my condolences.” 

Changbin’s heart stops beating. His breath gets stuck on its way out of his throat.

Her eyebrows frown, in a showcase of petty and empathy.

“We received orders a few hours ago. We had to obey; you need to understand that.”

“No.” Changbin suffocates on the word. He starts thrashing on the hold that is applied on his arms. His knees dig further on the cement. “NO”

“We sent _a few _of our men. A few betrayed your pack. A few willingly decided to join the mission. The Seo pack do have a lot of enemies I’m sure you are already aware of that.”

Changbin’s eyes glitch to black, like two holes. “Don’t you dare touch a single one of their hair. DON’T YOU DARE.” He tries to lunge toward the woman, but he receives a violent punch on his neck, forcing him to fall back down. His body goes limp, forcing him to stay put and glare.

“Your mother died first.”

Dread rushes down from the top of his head to his feet, leaving him soaking wet in despair.

_No_

“She died quickly. Didn’t put much of a fight.” The woman crosses her arms against her chest. “You dad was pretty upset about it. At least he was useful, he tried to save as much women and children as he could before he too died.”

“No no _no_” Changbin’s head is lowered down, both of his arms firmly pulled back by the two wolves. “Shut up shut up _shut up_.” He mumbles, trying to block out her voice, denial poisoning his blood like venom. It’s as if a snake is wrapped around his neck, suffocating him until his brain lacks enough oxygen to live.  
  


“Your dear sister Moonbyul fought till her last breath. I stabbed her in the back. What a pitiful death.”

“SHUT UP” Changbin screams, his voice screeching in wrath and fear.

His eyes are completely black, no white or color to be seen.

He frees himself from the metal grip that had been cursed upon him, and lunges toward the women.

His claws are sharp when he cut through her chest.

She doesn’t react when Changbin pushes her to the ground, nor does she when he growls at her face, knee pressed on her neck. 

  
“SHUT UP” He screams again, veins popping on his forehead.

“Do you know what her last words were?” She asks in a whisper. She looks at Changbin with those pitiful eyes that he wants to tear out of her skull. “_Binnie_.”

A tear rolls down his face.

“Here last words were your name. Binnie.”

_“BINNIE” she screams, jumping out of her highchair._

_By his side in a heartbeat, she ruffles his hair with a big grin. “Changbinnie, it’s been so long, why didn’t you visit sooner?” she says with a sweet motherly voice_

_She cows at him, her grin widening. “Awn is our Binnie all grown up now? He shies away from his older sister’s attention?”_

_He meets Moonbyul’s curious eyes. She smirks. “C’mon Changbin, I’m sure this is nothing hard or new for you” she says teasingly._

_Moonbyul doesn’t say anything. A tear runs down her right cheek._

“I wonder what she wanted to tell you.”

Changbin closes his eyes painfully, tears running down his cheeks. They burn. His chest feels heavy, filled with ponds of rocks. He can’t lift it to inhale.

“I wonder if she wanted to blame you for not being there. If she was worried about you. If she hated you in her last moments. I would have left her finish if I had known her last words would be your name”

Their last meeting appears in front of his open eyes. They had fought, over something he can’t even remember.

He had turned around and met her eyes. The sunset had illuminated her face, making her purple hair shine under the orange light. She had smiled even though her eyes were watery, sparkling like diamonds in a river. Her hands had been brought behind her back and her shoulders weren’t tense in the way they were when she was around others. For a second, it wasn’t Moonbyul the Luna that was staring at him, but Moonbyul his sister. The one who used to sneak candies to his room when he got scolded by his parents. The Moonbyul who signed his exams behind their mother’s back when he got a bad grade. The Moonbyul from before she started training to be the next leader and distanced herself from him. The Moonbyul from before he left the pack in the middle of the night with a backpack and a hundred bucks she had sneaked in his pocket.

He had stared at her for a second longer, at her smile and eyes, and he had walked away. He had given her his back and walked away.

“What would she have said after your name if she had had enough life to speak?”

Changbin painfully lifts his arm, as if he had never held anything that weighed that much. His bloody claws shine under moonlight. His arm falls back down effortlessly, taking with it the life of his sister’s murderer. Blood spatters on his tear stained cheeks.

The two wolves behind him suddenly start walking. Maybe they had been too shocked to move. Maybe they had wanted their boss dead. It doesn’t matter. Nothing in the world matters anymore. He will gratefully let them take his life.

Two gunshots resonate in the air.

The two wolves fall dead.

His mind doesn’t acknowledge that Jisung and Felix, the team’s snipers, were the one that fired to protect him from where they are hiding on top of adjacent buildings.

All he can think of is how he wasn’t able to protect his family. Wasn’t there for them, wasn’t there for his pack when they needed him the most.

He takes a few steps back from the corpse, his legs unbuckling under the tremendous sorrow to send him crashing to the ground. His head titled to the sky; he screams.

Grief is like anything he has experienced in his life. It’s not something he could put words into. It eats him from the inside coming to the realization that someone he spent his whole life with is now forever gone. The truth of his new reality falls upon him slowly, like a blade going deeper into his heart. He will never be able to see their smiles. He will never hear them laugh. Will never be able to hug them. Will never think about them without feeling like suffocating. He will never see them walking around to accomplish a task or lay down to watch a movie. He will never enter their room or go to the places they used to visit and see them. He doesn’t even remember the last words he had exchanged with his parents. He had fought the last time he saw his sister. Their existence is now forever gone, and all they left behind is material things and a memory to cry upon. How weird is it that one day they are laughing and preparing for a future they will never get to live and suddenly the next morning they are no more? How is it even possible that his lovable lively family is now nothing but a body that does not have a beating heart or a lifeful face? 

Sobs wreck his body as though trying to get rid of the asphyxiating despair and sorrow.

It can’t be true.

His pack can’t be dead. His family can’t be dead.

It can’t happen.

His hands run in his hair, and his body bends to the ground until his forehead crashes with the ground.

His muscles move and shifts, and soon Seo Changbin is in his wolf form.

He howls to the night, for the lives that had been lost. For the families that had been destroyed. For the Seo Changbin that has died tonight.

\---

Jisung and Felix throw themselves off their respective building without thinking.

Their wings are spread wide on their back, and they force them to lower them to the ground.

They don’t really think about it, it all comes from the sheer panic and fear that something irrevocable has happened to Changbin. 

The wind pushes at their bodies as if trying to hold them, making their clothes violently thrash around.

Changbin’s wolf is lifelessly lying in the middle of a crowd of people wearing black, a gun in all of their hands.

The twins exchange a glance. They nod once. Words are fruitless when their mind is already connected.

Felix stops midair, his wings flapping steadily behind him to keep him still. He holds his hands out in front of him, toward the crowd bellow, but he doesn’t do anything yet.

“Ready when you are.”

Jisung nods. He flies a few feet further down before he too stops. He lifts the gun he had brought with him and starts shooting at the people getting too close to the curled-up wolf on the ground.

There are sudden screams of surprise coming from them, but Felix doesn’t let them calm down.

His palms grow red, and a second later, flames lick out of them, flying straight to their enemies.

The fire circles around Changbin’s unconscious body, protecting him from the gunned hunters.

“DOWN” Jisung screams when bullets fly past them.

Felix flies lower down closer to Jisung.

They hold out both of their hands toward the growing crowd of hunters.

Anger boils inside both of their chest. Their reasonable mind slips under the adrenaline, and soon it’s only the desire to kill that clogs their brain in a thick blinding fog.

They had forgotten how it feels, the craving starving desire to hurt. To rip limbs and heads away of a bleeding body.

“They killed Changbin’s family.” Jisung and Felix say in the same low and hunted voice. Their irises are respectively icy and red. “They hurt Changbin.”

Their wings steams with heavy dark smoke.

A roar resonates from their chests, distorted and furious.

Jisung showers the crowd bellow him with ice, freezing feet and faces like museum sculptures. The guns fall on the floor in perfect imitation of toys. The more he hears screams the colder is his ice.

Illūnisis flying low on the ground around Changbin’s body. Felix’s flames are hot and high enough to prevent anyone from walking closer, but her presence is threatening enough.

Changbin’s pain is burning inside Jisung’s chest. The SoulLink feels like a hot iron burn. He can feel Changbin’s dread, sorrow, anger, pain and regrets of losing his family, probably his whole pack, who knows who else has been killed by the hunters.

Another scream tears its way out of his chest. It sounds animalistic, inhuman.

A bullet digs itself in his arm but Jisung can’t feel it. Moonbyul deserved to grow old. She had a life to keep living. People to keep loving. Dreams to achieve. Laughs to laugh and tears to cry.

Changbin’s parents had a son to keep raising. Hugs to give him and food to feed him. They had a family and a pack to attend. Goals written on a schedule to finish.

They didn’t deserve to die. Shouldn’t have been murdered.

Fire joins ice, ravaging any remaining trace of life that must have been left behind.

Felix’s hair is red, dancing with the wind. His arms are tattooed with stings of red, as if magma is running through his veins.

His face is expressionless, blank like a robot only programmed to kill.

Jisung is reminded of that day, in the research laboratory, and suddenly he realizes the power they hold in the presence of the other.

The twin’s magic.

Yet, he can’t find fear inside him. He can’t find regrets or the desire to stop. Only proudness roars inside him like the scream of a dragon awaken from the depth of a volcano.

He won’t cry the hunter’s death.

Felix will burn them alive until their bones are turned into ashes. Jisung will freeze them until their corpse fly like snow in the wind.

They both know it. They both acknowledge it. They both desire it.

The bracelets around their wrists suddenly start glowing, and before they know it, magic disappears from their chests as though it had been sucked in a black hole.

Two gunshots flies through the wind, and like two puppets mirroring each other, their bodies crashes toward the ground.

\---

The silence is defining.

It digs his ears and make them ring.

The office he is sitting in is far bigger than JYP’s small and stinky one.

Huge glass windows are taking two of the four walls of the room, one right behind the desk Chan is sitting in front of.

“Sorry for making you wait. We have a lot of troublesome work to deal with today.” The team manager says, walking to sit behind the desk.

“Oh it’s alright Sir, I’m sorry if my arrival disturbed you.” Chan smiles easily, following with his eyes the cup of coffee the man lowers in front of him

“I hope you like coffee. Made it especially for you.” He folds his arms on the desk, staring intensely at Chan.

“Ah I’m not a big fan of Coffee actually.” The vampire stiffens an uncomfortable laugh carefully calculated. “But I appreciate the thought.”

The manager lifts his eyebrows, rolling his chair back to glare at the young man. “I bothered to make it. Don’t let it go to waste.”

A tense silence follows.

Chan exchanges a glance with the man and the cup of black liquid under him.

It is a very basic rule not to drink or eat what your enemies give you. Chan had learned the lesson when he was 14 and his teacher back in JYP had fooled him to drink a poisonous juice. He had been stuck in bed for three mouths straight.

Though now he doesn’t really have the choice. He would never forgive himself if he put the team in danger by making the team manager suspicious of him.

Bringing the cup to his lips, Chan swallow it at once.

The liquid burns on its way down his throat. It makes his vocal cords itch, as if a desert has stormed its way down his mouth all the way to his stomach. His eyes start stinging and he violently cough. It feels like he is about to throw up his lungs.

A wolf’s howl suddenly makes its way to his ears, and the sorrow in it is so violent and ripping that Chan’s body collapses on the ground.

He brings his palms to his ears, trying to block the sound but it’s a vain attempt. Chan’s whole body is disintegrating, all trace of water deserting his organs as if they never were there in the first place. His fingers claw at his throat that is gagging in suffocation.

_Changbin_, his mind shrieks.

_ Changbin is hurt._

_Changbin_.

He pushes himself up on weak feverish legs. The world around him swings on its axis, making him stumble and hit his right side against the edge of the desk. He grumbles a whine of pain.

A figure walks toward him. He can’t see it; his vision is blurred with tears.

He snarls his fangs, but a second later, a sharp pain jolts the back of his head.

And suddenly, the world disappears.

\---

Chan is woken up by a scream.

Someone is screaming his name.

His whole body is numb like a rock that has never learned to move.

He thinks about going back to empty slumber, but everything hurt too much.

The voice screams his name again, and it’s so desperate, so needing and sorrowful that he forces his eyes to blink open.

“CHAN HYUNG”

The ground his vision meets is dirty. The smell of gravel hits his nose first, then it’s the smell of blood. Enchanting and bewitching blood that makes his throat itch and skin crawl.

“CHAN HYUNG PLEASE WAKE UP. CHAN HYUNG _PLEASE_”

The voice is sobbing, distorted by screeches of hopelessness and anguish.

Chan squeezes his eyes shut. He pushes his body off the ground. He swings on unstable legs when he stands up.

His head is splitting open, hot burning pain opening his skull in half. He is hungry.

No.

Chan’s _starving_.

“CHAN”

His head snaps toward the scream, and abruptly, as if cold water has been thrown on top of his head, his surroundings materializes around him.

He is in an empty warehouse. It’s dark, the room is barely illuminated by a few yellow lights dangling from the ceiling. From either side of the room are four human sized metallic cages.

7 of them are full.

Minho is laying on the ground of the first one to the left. His legs are gone, replaced by his tail that looks awfully dehydrated even from distance. The dirt around him is stained by blood from an unseen wound.

Changbin is to Minho’s right side. He is in his wolf form, grey fur messily spread on his body. He too is passed out, just like Hyunjin, Jisung, Felix and Seungmin.

They are all unconscious, and Chan can smell spilled blood on every single one of them. His heart hammers inside his ribcage, threatening to jump out of his throat.

“CHAN HYUNG”

Chan whip his head to the right, and the dizziness that drowns his head almost send him to the floor.

Jeongin is awake. He has blood running down from his ears, licking his neck and slithering under his shirt. His bloody hands that are grabbing the metallic bars are shaking them violently. A sob rocks his chest.

“Hyung please.” He begs.

Chan runs toward him, tripping at least three times on his feet before he reaches him.

His arm slithers inside the cell, gently holding Jeongin’s cheek as if scared to break him.

He doesn’t say anything, his throat feels like it would bleed if he attempts to speak from how dry it is.

“Channi Hyung please listen to me.” Jeongin casts on him those pleading sharp eyes of his. Chan has the impression that they are back in that hunted mansion in the woods. “The prophecy Hyung. The prophecy is happening.”

Chan tilts his head, trying hard to make his brain work. Was all of this a nightmare? It couldn’t possibly be true.

Jeongin grabs Chan’s arm forcefully.

“_When the wolf will lose what’s most precious to him. When the twin’s power will awaken with the roar of the dragon. When the long-forgotten memories will raise back to life like a blazing fire. When all three will happen, don’t let the vampire drink the blood. __Don’t let the vampire drink the blood.”_

The banshee throws a worried glance above his shoulder, to the corner of his cell. He is seeing something Chan isn’t. Someone.

“The wolf is Changbin Hyung. They killed his family.”

Chan stares at Changbin’s wolf. His howl resonates back in his ears from a gone present.

“The twin’s power. Felix and Jisung ravaged half the building. They killed dozens of people. _Again_.”

Felix’s wings are out, and his skin is bright red. Jisung’s wings are spread under him. He is as pale as ice.

“The long-forgotten memories raising like fire. Seungmin has been told what he did. What happened. He remembers.”

Seungmin’s shoulder is bleeding. He looks hunted even in his unconsciousness.

“The three happened. Hyung, you are the vampire in the prophecy. _Hyung_.” Jeongin says urgently, dragging Chan’s attention back to him. “Hyung you cannot drink blood. Don’t feed. Do you hear me? Do _not_feed Hyung please I’m _begging_you.”

Chan stumbles backward.

He doesn’t understand Jeongin’s words.

He doesn’t get it.

How can he not feed? His throat is bleeding from the thirst. His stomach is eating itself. It hurt. He is dying. It hurt, can’t Jeongin see that?

He looks around him, in a haze.

What happened to the members? What happened to all of them? What went wrong?

Jeongin is screaming his name again, sobbing and crying as tears stream down his cheeks. He looks in so much despair.

Chan can’t hear him

What happened?

A door suddenly opens from somewhere, and floods in a crowd of people. They are all wearing black.

Chan’s body tenses, adrenaline flooding in his veins.

Once they have encircled him, they stop.

“Chris.”

A man is standing on a platform, opposite Chan.

It’s a face Chan thought he had forgotten a decade ago. Yet, he recognizes him the moment his eyes land on him. Suddenly, the faceless father that hunted his memories for so long finds back his face.

“Dad.” Chan croaks like a child that had lost his father in a playground. He sounds oh so pathetic and vulnerable.

“I was waiting for you Chris.” He titles his head. He has grown old. His wrinkles and grey hair are there to prove it. “What have they done to you son?”

Chan’s vision blurs and when he blinks, tears spill down. He hits his chest with his hand. “You have done this to me. _You_.” He attempts a step forward but the hunters standing between them stop him. “You are responsible for who I’ve become. You left me _to die_. You _sold _me like a _pig_to _slaughter_.”

There’s a silence.

The father smiles softly, almost comforting.

“We had to live Chris.”

Chan doesn’t know what to say. He had imagined this conversation a thousand time in his head, but now that moment has come, he doesn’t find the strength to say anything.

He wants to curl in a ball and faint. He wants the pain to end. He wants to go back to the members. To hug them and be hugged by them. He wants to go back home.

“I will give you a chance Chris.” The head of the hunter, his father, says. “If you manage to kill all of the hunters here, I’ll let you make me pay for my crimes.” He opens his arms wide, as if urging him for a hug. “If you fail, we will kill all eight of you. _Kill or be killed_. Take this first and last lesson from your father.”

He smirks and hold up one finger. “One detail. The coffee we gave you was cursed by some of our best witches. It made you thirsty as If you haven’t drank blood in a thousand year.”

He takes a step forward. “The blood of our hunters have been poisoned. If you drink a single droplet of it, it will turn your life into an everlasting sorrow.”

His father’s smile grows. “What will you do Christopher?”

Chan takes a step toward the crowd of hunters around him.

He stares at his father dead in the eyes.

“You sponsored the auction house that kidnapped, tortured and sold Minho.”

Chan takes another step.

“You were the one that compelled the Seo pack’s betas to kidnap Changbin when he was only a child. You asked them to abandon him in the middle of the forest miles away from his pack. You wanted to show his father the alpha that you have the power to destroy his pack from the inside.”

He lets his fangs grow.

“You kidnapped Hyunjin when you were fighting against the Hwang to force them to let you live. You used the life of a child to blackmail his parents.”

He cracks his fingers and neck.

“You sponsored the Laboratory that used Jisung and Felix as rats. You wanted to use the twins magic to erase the Faery.”

Another step forward. His father’s face stays neutral.

“You burned the orphanage Seungmin grow up in and made everyone believe that it was him that caused the fire.”

Chan grabs a hunter to his right by his neck and drags him closer.

“You sent your witches to curse Jeongin because the Yang were too big of a threat.”

With one swift movement, he breaks the hunter’s neck and let him crash to his feet.

“I will make you pay for what you did to my pack.”

Ten hunters jump at him at once.

Chan breaks the neck of three, tears the limb of four others and stabs his fingers in the eyes of the remaining three. Others join the fight and it’s a dance of swinging around bodies, breaking necks and skulls. After twenty hunters, he can’t hold his hunger back anymore. He finds himself drinking the blood of one only when he has sucked him dry. His red eyes search hungrily for more lives to take. For more blood to brink and more bodies to dismember.

Chan has been raised by the Hwang to kill. His sole purpose of his presence in their house is to be able to kill to protect Hyunjin. He had killed again and again and again. He had been taught to investigate about his victims. He had been taught how to kill with a single hit. He had been taught how to dig his hand inside a chest a tear a heart out. He had been taught how to fight as if there’s no tomorrow and his life has never mattered.

The poisoned blood makes his mind dissociate and fragment. He reaches a point where he kills just to be able to bath in the blood of his victims. Just so he can feel the red iron liquid raining down on his face, running down in his throat. He bites at necks and rips heads off bodies just because he likes the sound they make when they heavily fall on the ground like a bag of sand.

_Kill_

_Kill_

_Kill_

_Protect_

_Protect_

_Protect- _

Every inch of his body, every inch of skin and clothe is painted in red when Chan kills the last hunter.

His father doesn’t run away when his time comes.

He doesn’t flinch. Doesn’t beg. Doesn’t cry.

Fear flashes through his eyes, the human instinct to live glow for the split of a second before it dies.

Chan stabs his father’s chest with his arm.

The man gags, falling on his son’s chest in a last deathful embrace.

He grabs his heart like he never held his hand, and with one movement, one last glance, he rips his heart out.

His dad falls to his feet and so does his heart that his lifeless eyes stare at.

Chan swings unstable.

His mind is empty. For once, it’s quiet.

He glances at his members around him. They are all awake. They are all sitting on the far back of their cages, putting as much distance from their leader as the possibly can. Their eyes are wide open. They are scared. No. They are terrorized of Chan.

Chan stares down at the corpse at his feet. His shoes are soaked, like they usually are when it rains heavily. Though this time, it isn’t because of water.

He looks at the people he murdered for his members. He looks at the monster he became for his members. He looks at his sanity that is bathing in the blood and glowing in the lifeless eyes. The sanity that he lets go of for his members. The poison that is running freely in his blood.

He looks at the Chan that has died tonight.

His body is laying with the other corpses, right beside his father.

_Farewell Bang Chan, _he tells himself, for he knows he will never be the same ever again. _You have fought well. You have lived well with the life that has been given to you._

A bloody tear runs down his cheek.

_Farewell Bang Chan, _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLOOO yes I know that you want to kill me, but please allow me to say my last words first. 
> 
> First of all I'm sorry that this chapter took FOREVER. I was so overwhelmed with school work, it honestly have been a LOT. But hey, 10K words I hope you forgive me. 
> 
> This is a really huge chapter and honestly there's so many things I want to say but I'll keep it short. I knew that Moonbyul was going to die ever since I first introduced her. When I wrote her last conversation with Changbin, I knew it would be their last and that she would die. I made it purposefully meaningful back then but I don't know if you noticed hehe. 
> 
> Minho, I feel so bad for him. Writing his part hurt. Sighs. (also sorry Seungmin baby)
> 
> There was a LOT of irony in Chan's part. The whole father/chan part was very ironic like when his father fell in his arms and its the first hug Chan has received from him but it doesn't originate from love but because Chan killed him. Very tragic. 
> 
> Now the ending might freak you out if you didn't totally understand it, but yeah don't worry guys, no major character death. 
> 
> Anyway, I can't promise how long I'll take to write the last chapter *SCREAM IT'S THE LAST* but I'll do my best to not make you wait too long. My twitter is @felix_8felicis I'd love to hear from you guys. 
> 
> As always, thank you so much for reading and your comments always give me so much strength love you guys �~


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